"Oh, young [Archmages] in the making! Welcome, welcome!" The cat-faced [Merchant] greeted us Academy students with his usual mien by the door to his tent. "Fat Felix has everything you need, this way. Please step into my tent and make yourselves at home. The best wares for discerning reputable ladies!"
Marisol was amazed at the colorful fabrics thrown around to create an air of mystery and wonder. I held her hand and walked inside. "Good afternoon to you, Fat Felix."
"Congratulations on unlocking two affinities, Miss Haru. It is delightful to have your patronage yet again. And who is the gorgeous lady with golden hair next to you? Gold is my favorite color," the sleazy flatterer threw his charm on Marisol.
"Easy, my furry friend. She's with me!" I glared.
The cat-man chortled delightfully, his belly shaking along with the sound, "Oh, ho ho! A friend of Lady Haru is like a [Princess], no, a goddess in Fat Felix's eyes! What can I do for you, my goddesses?" He finished with a courtly reverence.
He nodded and we checked on Marisol. The blonde half-human-Eleon was speechless already with this much flattery. Hum, I needed to do her hair too. Give it a good wash, conditioning, and styling. Would she look good with those anime drill curls? Only one way to find out.
He directed us to a couch next to a low table. One could call it a coffee table but its purpose was to not block the line of sight toward the person wearing the dresses on the other side. "Please have a seat. Tell me, what brings such fine ladies to my humble tent in this fine afternoon?"
We made ourselves comfortable on the couch while Fat Felix's triangular ears gently swiveled to face us.
"Well, we found out we'd ended in the same Class as a certain real [Princess] by coincidence, and she invited us two to a tea party. We lack the proper attire," I explained.
"Coincidence is a marvelous thing," he quipped. "And of course, you two will shine just a bit less than Her Highness Mirina."
Of course, he would know the names of visiting Royalty. "Well, show us what you got, Fat Felix."
"Sure, sure!" He clapped his hands, "Shudra, would you kindly get refreshments for these fine ladies?"
The white rat-kin girl appeared briefly behind the silk curtains and nodded. Fat Felix smiled and nodded back. She went away. Felix entertained us by telling funny tales from the Bazaar's everyday life. The man was a natural-born entertainer and his tongue was not gilded or silver, but pure platinum. Shudra returned and served us pastries and tea.
"Shudra, I'm going to select some fine gowns for these ladies, would you please teach her proper tea ceremony? They were invited by Her Highness Mirina, fancy that! My ladies, I leave you in Shudra's capable hands."
"Thank you, master Felix," I replied. "We will make sure to absorb all she's willing to teach us."
He belly chortled, "Fat Felix is fine. I am proud of who I am."
With Felix gone, Shudra set the table with a kettle, some pastries, and other tea apparel. Once it was all set, she started her etiquette lesson. "Well, let's start with Royal etiquette. Here's the first lesson," she waved a hand over the pastries as if she was offering them to us. "Are you hungry, ladies?"
"Oh, Zacheia's mercy!" Marisol rumbled a gormandizing groan, "I had nothing to eat since lunch, I'm starving, thank you." The blonde started to stuff her mouth with the pastries.
Shudra playfully slapped her hand. "No, no, no. The first rule of Royal tea parties. You are not there to feed yourself. Yes, there's food and yes, it's delicious, but you are not there to get fed."
"Sorry!" Marisol flinched and blushed with shame.
"Remember that the food is there for a reason," our impromptu etiquette teacher continued. "It is meant to be savored, eaten, but never devoured. This is the first lesson. Consume everything slowly, savor what you do. Both the drink, food, conversation, company, and ambiance. Don't rush things. Eat before you go to the tea party, but leave a tiny portion of your stomachs empty."
"Right!" Marisol perked up.
"Second lesson, miss Marisol. Look at miss Haru. How's her posture?"
Out of habit, I found myself sitting like a lady. Marisol examined me and whistled, "She looks fantastic," she replied to Shudra then glared at me, "What did you do to that bitch that grew up with me in the orphanage?"
I covered my mouth with my fingers and giggled, "Why cast doubt upon me, Lady Marisol?" I asked and fluttered my eyelashes. "I'm the same person as always, I'm most grateful for your concern. Allow me to kindly enlighten you, my dear, the second rule of tea party etiquette and everything else is to behave according to the occasion."
Marisol made a perfect 'O' with her mouth. Capital 'O'.
"When in doubt, imitate the person next to you," Shudra suggested. You can sit straight but not stiff. You can giggle but not guffaw. You can sip but not slurp."
"Be gracious, got it!" Marisol slapped a fist on her open palm.
"Please, do try it," Shudra suggested. "From now until Fat Felix returns, behave like you think a court Lady would."
Marisol straightened her back and put her weight on the balls of her feet. "Thanks for your advice, Lady Shudra," she said with a soft tone, almost whispering.
"Better. Don't shout or whisper. You want everyone sitting at the table to listen to you, but not those on the other side of the gardens. Whispering means you are insulting those sitting far from you by saying they're not worthy of listening to what you have to say. Gods forbid you do that sitting across from the Princess."
"Although it could happen to us, as those with greater status sit closer to Her Highness," I added. "And we are almost at the bottom of the ladder."
"Correct. However, you don't need to worry about where you'll sit, as you'll be taken to your proper seat by the Princess' servants. Just remember, you want to be heard by the princess and don't hurt the ears of the one sitting next to you. I guess that's the third lesson."
Marisol now had her eyes peeled, trying to absorb everything Shudra and I were telling her. I placed my hand over hers. "I have a book on etiquette you can borrow later, Marisol. Don't worry," I paused as I had a great idea. "What about we invite some girls in our class to a tea party before the Princess' to rehearse?"
She clicked her tongue and shook her head. "Terrible idea. One, you are only suggesting this because you want to spend time with Trinity. Second, they'll think we are gloating and rubbing their noses in our invitations."
My shoulders slumped. "You're probably right. Thanks, Marisol." We shared a smile and turned to see what Shudra had for us.
"I'm going to pour tea for you now. You can sweeten your tea with a dash of honey if it is offered. Remember, if it is on the table, it is meant to be used but not abused. Most think that putting too much honey is a sign of immaturity as it taints the taste of pure tea. But nobody will frown upon you if you add a bit to sweeten the tea. Since this is a Royal tea party, your tea will be poured by a servant. I'll play that part now."
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Shudra stiffened like a stuck-up palace maid and came around the coffee table to knell next to me. "Milady Haru, how would you like your tea?"
"A small drop of honey and a quarter cup of milk, please," I replied.
She dripped honey on the empty cup, strained the tea until it filled under three-quarters then completed with goat milk. Shudra went around and Marisol parroted me, earning an approving smile from the rat-kin woman.
"You did good, Lady Marisol. If you need help, let Haru go before you then do as she did."
She smiled back, "Thank you for your kind advice, lady Shudra."
The rat-kin shook her head. "I'm merely a maid, milady."
"Don't call the servants by titles reserved for the higher-ups. It tarnishes the title," I explained.
Marisol nodded.
"Now, let's savor our tea," Shudra continued. "As you can notice the steam coming from the kettle, the tea is quite hot. The milk isn't and it helps cool the tea a bit, but it can be too hot for you. Never blow on the tea. What you'll do now is to take the spoon and gently stir your tea without making a whirlpool. The servants will pay attention to determine your dominant hand beforehand and will put the wing of the teacup on the same side. You're both right-handed. Hold the spoon and insert, not dip, in the tea. Now you'll move it from the point closer to you, over the wing, and to the point further away, then bring it back the same way. Don't make a circle."
She showed us. Basically, move the spoon from six o'clock to twelve counter-clockwise, then back as the clock hands move. Slowly. Once she was done, the spoon was placed on the saucer with the tip along the radius pointing at herself.
"This will help pass time and cool the tea. You'll hold the teacup like you hold a quill to write. Your ring finger will touch the base of the cup and the pinky will be tucked in your palm. Once you lift the teacup from the saucer, you'll pay attention to the tea inside the cup. Don't glance at anyone. While you sip your tea, there's only you and the tea," Shudra explained. "Haru, you sip first."
I took the teacup, sipped slowly and noiselessly, then returned it to the saucer with only the faintest clicking sound.
"Perfect, Haru. The saucer stays on the table. Don't slurp or gulp your tea. Sip without sucking at the tea and let it glide down your throat. It's better to make no sound at all. Show that you've enjoyed your tea with a gracious smile. It helps if you imagine something nice, like being hugged by some family member you like. In your case, it would be the [Saintess]. The less your throat moves, the better. The cup returns in the same position it left. Your turn, Marisol."
She also sipped with minimal noises but she closed her eyes and hummed as she savored the tea.
"Almost there!" Shudra encouraged. "The teacup comes to the mouth, not the other way around. A lady's poise is her lifeline. She never slumps, slouches, or crouches! Now you had your sips of tea, with lots of delightful and vain conversation filled with glee. A few giggles and nods are okay, but…"
"Always in moderation, understood," Marisol added with a nod.
Shudra was almost singing her lesson. "Perfect. Now you can eat a bite only. The tea in your belly is lonely! First, the servants will place lavender water and a handkerchief, that's lovely too. This little tray here is for the lavender water. I'll pour it for you. Once you are ready to eat, you'll dip your fingers in the water and dry them with the handkerchief. Don't make a mess. Dip and dry, don't drip!"
We giggled at her antics, rhymes, and alliterations. Once our fingers were clean - by the medieval standards we lived by - we could finally eat something. But Shudra was on a roll.
"Start with the savory, then the sweet. Do no knavery and you won't get beat!"
More giggles. We ate a square cut of flatbread with pepper jam, then a herb muffin, to only finally taste the sweet pastries. We sipped the tea between different foods to clean our palate.
As if by magic, the sleazy cat-kin merchant showed up with the half-orc servant girl while Shudra cleaned the table. They both had their arms filled with gowns. They placed the gowns on a sideboard and Shudra came back with a full-body mirror on wheels.
The only male, yours truly not included, vacated the room. We removed our cloaks and robes, then tried on the dresses with the help of the mirror. Marisol felt like a [Princess] and her excitement was contagious. Shudra and Hyuka, as I learned the name of the half-orc woman, encouraged us to try on all the dresses. Some of them obviously didn't fit the two shorties they had for customers.
Marisol looked gorgeous in both a navy blue dress and a fiery red one. I set both aside and then chose mine. I picked another green dress, this time a lighter tone, along with a pastel beige party gown with brown accents. Both would bring out my hair color. With our picks decided, the servants took the others away. Fat Felix returned a minute later.
"Oh, my lovely ladies! I see you made excellent choices!" He clapped his hands together. "Now, there's only one little matter we need to discuss."
Reality struck Marisol like a wrathful bolt of lightning. "Haru! How are we paying for this?" The flustered blonde commoner cried, already tearing up. I won't lie, these dresses were expensive before Fat Felix added his ridiculously high markup.
"I'll cover the costs, Marisol. But I need a pink ribbon. Do you have pink ribbons, Fat Felix?"
The cat merchant started and took a step back. "I'm terribly sorry, lady Haru! Mildew grew on my spool of pink ribbon! Curses! I'll need to send Shodra to that rascal Atmotir's stall to buy some! I'll never hear the end of it!"
I clapped his shoulder. "Fret not, Fat Felix." Then I turned to my classmate. "Marisol, could you go with Shudra and pick some cute ribbons for us? Shodra will pay for them, I'll settle the bill here with Fat Felix."
The half-eleon mouth moved like a fish but no sound came out. Shudra slipped her arm around her waist. "This way, miss Marisol."
"O-okay? I can do this, I guess," she reacted to the arm and went along.
Once the girl was out of the tent-building, the sound of the Bazaar vanished. Fat Felix and I dropped our masks.
"Interesting choice of companions, [Matriarch]," he commented, amused.
After assuming my were-jaguar form, I shrugged, "I grew up with her at the orphanage. Not much of a choice."
"Yet you brought her here," he merely pointed out without accusing me.
"She's a sweetheart. Naive and brash, but a good girl at heart."
"I'm sure of it," he grinned. "She will grow into a lovely woman."
"Thank you, Fat Felix."
"Do tell me, are these two your only kitsune tails?" He asked. Curiosity did kill the cat.
"You are a man of the coin, Fat Felix. Let me tell you my prices for free. I'll charge one kingmetal coin to show you one more tail. I'll charge a thousand for seven more tails. You don't want to pay the price to see all of them."
He held a fist against his clenched lips and stared at me with eyes wide open. "Indeed, I won't."
I tapped his back with my black paw. "Good, now relax. I won't hurt you, child."
"I'm grateful for your kindness, [Matriarch]," He smiled back.
"We are on a time limit. Do you have anything new for me?"
He nodded but grimaced. "Torgo has the Tabard and all known copies the Tabard spawned. He destroyed the copies but failed to do the same to the original. It will be hard to take it from him."
I chuckled and showed him an evil grin. "Oh, no. We don't want to take it from him. I want you to approach Torgo and sell him the information on how to destroy the tabard. Make sure to shank every copper from the bastard."
The cat-kin hissed, hacked, and gagged like a furball was stuck in his throat. "I beg your pardon."
"You'll sell Torgo the secret to destroy the Tabard, and will charge as much as he can pay," I affirmed.
"But without the Tabard..."
I shook my head. "I'm not only the [Matriarch], Felix. I'm also [King] fucking Locksley, [Princess] blood-hell Lakerta, and [Duchess] no-shit Nagini. Who do you think wove and enchanted that Tabard? Whoever did that could make another one, a better one, if only they were around."
I pinched my left index finger and pulled a single thread, going through all the colors of the rainbow along its length. Once it was half a meter long, I stopped. "{Appraise} this."
> Level 0 Rainbow Living Thread Strand
>
> Price: 1 kingmetal coin.
>
> A single strand of moderate length of true Living Thread, woven by the [Matriarch] to contain all colors that ever existed. It might grow into something amazing when it levels up.
"The Tabard is a living creature that consumes its energy to repair itself," I explained. "The key to destroying it is to subject it to continuous damage away from anyone that might feed it MP until it starves and dies."
"That's too simple. They tried to deal hideous amounts of damage to the Tabard."
"Then it might have learned a Perk to generate MP on its own. It's perfectly possible. The thing has been leeching Exp and leveling up for centuries. Do you know its level?"
"The main Tabard is level 158. It's been stuck at this level ever since Eric II died a century and a half ago."
I took note of the level. Now I could prepare the switcheroo. "The Tabard must die to be reborn, Felix. Torgo will get sloppy and lazy once he believes it gone."
Fat Felix cackled and I went along with him as he finally figured out most of my 'evil' plan. "I see, I see. I'll try to drain his seemingly infinite coffers dry."
"Is he that rich?" I was skeptical.
"Indeed. His wealth seems bottomless. The hundreds of mercenaries he hired to harass the Windemerian Adventurers alone cost him several kingmetal coins a day."
"Bloody hell," I gawked. "What could be that rich? Does he have any external backers?"
"Not that I know," the [Information Broker] confessed, ashamed. "He's like you in this way. He appears to conjure as many coins as he needs out of nowhere."
I was worried. "Take care, Felix. Don't pull the dragon by the tail."
"I won't, [Matriarch]. I promise. They're coming back. You already paid for the gowns with this information. May I have that thread as a tip?" He pointed at the strand still in my paw.
Shrewd to his dying breath, I see.
"You may not," I sent it to my item box. "Leaving {Living Thread} items still without a defined purpose out in the world is dangerous."
I returned to my normal form and Fat Felix produced some boxes to put our gowns in.
As we returned to the Academy I felt butterflies for condemning the Tabard to death. But without the Tabard, Torgo and whoever else was holding back because of the artifact would drop their guard and act to seize the country. I wanted them to make this move and reveal themselves. Once exposed, they could be safely attacked. We had too many unknowns yet. Without a face, the players of this game were too dangerous. I too was faceless. In my book, whoever revealed themselves first lost.