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In Loki's Honor
Life 35 - Chapter 33 - Romantically Apocriphalitic

Life 35 - Chapter 33 - Romantically Apocriphalitic

To say the shit hit the fan after Apricot Death-princessed (yay a new verb) the former [King] is a form of charity. Not to mention Kasumi, the [Saintess] cursing the former Crown [Prince], now [King] and the whole Satyr species, turning them into Fauns, which, despite the novelty factor, pleased nobody.

Oh, add in that a runaway [Saintess] which the church wants back, and Barbara and I humiliating the same guy who now sits on the throne in a duel. Then the cherry on the cake, the curse I put on him.

The perfect storm was brewing, one that could eclipse the churning continent-sized vortex that was the Maelstrom. And that was after considering this world's crazy weather.

Yznarian's magical currents led to very odd weather patterns. Elemental forces and other arcane effects changed how the winds, temperature, and humidity factored into the weather. There's also the fact that the planet didn't have a regular orbit around the sun. The star shining upon Yznarian was more like a magical construct than a proper star. The Age of Eclipse wouldn't happen if that was not the case. Bundeus, the god of the Sun at the time overtaxed it and caused the thing to blink on and off like a cheap motel's neon sign in a horror movie.

We went to the Academy to pick up Barbara's belongings including the mirror leading to the training dimension, and then fled to her new domain. I was planning a scenic trip, just a halfling girl and her evil grimoire strolling through the scenic countryside but that was dashed. Instead, we had Arista ferry us through the Ethereal and back to Barbara's homeland, the newly appointed Baroness' domain.

I was surprised at the gorgeous scene that greeted us when we crossed over back to the real world.

A valley of rolling hills surrounded by eroded mountains. The southern Pekothian peninsula saw more than its fair share of winds due to the confluence of two major oceans and a large amount of boats used the place as a refueling stop. But the winds that granted the ships great speed also ate at the mountaintops for thousands of years until they became stunted. Still, they were tall enough to shield the valley from the harsh winds and storms, but short enough to let some rain through.

The ground was half-covered by grass, the other half was cloves. Wildflowers of all shapes, sizes, and colors fought for space between the bushes, A perennial tapestry since the mild southern weather had a set of flower species for each season, including winter. People here rarely saw snow. The Halflings had plenty of food with half the effort people on the Scorched Continent would need, which gave them time for leisure.

Many tried their hand with music, gardening, weaving, dance, and even trimming bushes into topiaries. These nature-loving folks took good care of their surroundings and I am sure several nobles would like to hire a halfling gardener for their estates.

Alas, such place was far from being paradise. Ambient mana levels were low, making this place uninteresting for both monsters and people after natural resources. It was a beginner village, a place for low level heroes to start their journey. And yet, it was the perfect place for peace-loving people like Barbara's fellow Halflings.

I had to paint the landscape into Mom's Encyclopedia to immortalize it.

[https://i.imgur.com/MVBS0ks.png]

[https://i.imgur.com/NqcPtIw.png]

[https://i.imgur.com/EkBFgEM.png]

> > CC-BY-NC 4.0 Midjourney.

"Goodness, this place is gorgeous," Lily said, then added, wistful, "I wish Tambrillia was like this."

Her home village which was destroyed by the Gods. Lily never go to see how it was outside her mother's hovel. Though Tambrillia was way north, closer to Fulgen.

"Welcome to Clovehaven, my home," Baroness Ambrose curtsied with the warmest grin I've ever seen.

"Thank you for having us, your Excellency," Arista smiled as she curtsied back.

"Yeah, what she said," Apricot added.

"We look like giants," [Saintess] Kasumi said as she compared their size with the Halfling-dimensioned landscape.

"That's normal," Barbara remarked. "Everyone looks like giants to me. Now, follow me, I want to see my parents!"

With me firmly tucked under her arm, Barbara ran ahead, forgetting her guests. Lily gave chase while Apricot shapeshifted into a black jaguar and sprinted to stand beside the [Crystallomancer]. Kasumi and Arista were content with strolling down the path.

Arista had dropped us on the outskirts of the valley. When we found the first Halflings, they were scared of the giant feline but soon noticed the great cat wasn't eating the tasty girls right next to it, so they calmed down. They didn't have the custom of raising great mastiffs for assistance in combat but animal companions and [Tamers] or [Rangers] were common enough that even here in the boonies people knew of them.

Sorry for some fantasy fans, but in here everyone had their shoes in place. No barefoot denizens in this shire, no, no. The workmanship on the little balls of joy's boots and shoes were actually very good. With nothing much else to do, the Halflings took a page from the elves' playbook: "Honing one's Proficiencies staves off boredom".

Soon a lot of halfling kids ran to join us and greet Barbara when one of them recognized her and started shouting. Getting into the Academy was big news around these parts and she had a sort of celebrity status. I hoped that goodwill would translate once she announced she was now the [Lady] of the valley.

"Barbara! Can I ride your cat?" One kid asked.

Apricot roared. The kid, having no sense of danger whatsoever, squealed. Apricot chuffed. Kid tried to climb on the jaguar. Apricot elbowed him up, then the next kid, and the next one. Thankfully she had the Attributes of a fourth-tier physical Class so the load was negligible.

The gaggle of giggling grinning Halflings soon attracted more kids, and Apricot was about to be swamped. Apparently making kids also staved boredom.

"Goddess above, that's bad. Euler, don't pull her tail!" Barbara shouted.

"I think I can help," Lily sand and transformed herself.

Even though they now had two rides to pick from. it was still a lot of kids. But there's a limit to how many kids can scream and squeal in a collective frenzy before an adult comes to check on them. And an adult did come to check what was going on.

"Who goes there?" An rather aged but not elderly halfling said.

Barbara looked up and grinned. She shouted, "Brother!" Then broke into a dash up the hill toward him.

She called that old guy what?

"LIl' Barbie!" The halfling shouted back.

He called her what?

Barbara almost dropped me (spoiler alert: I was slung around her shoulder) as she tackled the man. The gaggle of shortstack kids went off on a tangent with the two shapeshifted Aspects.

"Let me take a good look at you! What are you wearing? You look like a noblewoman!"

"So many things happened, I have so much to tell you!" Barbara gushed.

"That's because she is one," Kasumi said as she climbed the hill.

"Greetings," Arista added.

"What? You a noble?"

Barbara grinned. "I was granted lordship over this whole valley by the [King]!"

"The elders will surely want to hear this. But you should introduce your traveling companions first," the guy suggested.

"Oh, right. These are Arista, [Princess] of Atlantis, and the Matriarch's [Saintess] Kasumi. Down there with the kids are Lily of Tambrillia and Apricot of Akerton. And here," she lifted me, "Is my familiar, the Netherbane Syllabus. He's a book mimic."

Kasumi and Arista both set their titles to display on their Status Sheets. Anyone with any points in the {Appraiser} Proficiency, something most children acquired right upon Awakening, would sense them upon first sight. System titles couldn't be faked.

The guy's eyes bounced from person to person. But he kept his cool regardless, "Your Highness, your Holiness, welcome to Clovehaven. I'm sorry we didn't prepare a reception—"

"That's unnecessary," Arista said diplomatically, "It was us who intruded unannounced. Things at the capital took a turn in the wrong direction and we thought prudent to move with haste."

"I see," he nodded. "We heard news that some magical catastrophe hit the Labyrinth entrances but we didn't think it was that bad."

"You mentioned elders?" Arista continued, "They might like to hear what we have to say firsthand. [Baroness] Ambrose will show her seal."

[Baron/Baroness] was not a rank that granted a System title.

"This way, let's talk to the elders."

We started walking toward the village proper.

I teased Barbara.

She explained.

Her mental voice rose in pitch,

It warmed my pages to see her so excited.

She put the back of her hand on her forehead and pretended to swoon, Then she shifted gears,

"You guys surely look energetic," Kasumi remarked with just the faintest notes of bitterness.

The [Saintess] was in her best behavior ever since we escaped from the capital. I didn't dare say this was the reason why but she was out of "{Saintess Juice}" for a while (the SP they needed to use miracles) and had a hard time recharging since it depended on the people's beliefs in the [Saintess] acts. Her petty act of turning the Satyrs into Fauns and church propaganda caused her to be considered a rogue agent. The few people who knew that [Saints] couldn't go against their deities' wishes were the only ones praying for her.

Maybe if I used {Suppress Curse} to awaken my full self, I could help her or even talk about her delusions about us being married. Perhaps even confirm that she wasn't delusional and we indeed were married back in the Empire. That wouldn't mean Lorna was the blood sister all along, though. I bet the fickle hand of Fate was playing three-card Monty with us. Just the fact Kasumi had some memories when her soul should've been bleached clean by the System was enough evidence.

"Yes!" Barbara showed all of her pearly whites in a stunning grin. "Nothing can ruin my mood today!"

And if someone tried, they would have a very angry deity to deal with.

[https://i.imgur.com/K5fJNaI.png]

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

> > CC-BY-NC 4.0 Midjourney.

It took a couple of hours for all the elders to gather. Barbara spent that time mentally preparing her speech. The two Aspects kept entertaining the kids until they dropped from exhaustion. The kids, I mean. Kasumi and Arista were talking about the state of the Scorched Continent and I did what mimics do best. Idle away. Until a thought crossed my mind.

Barbara was startled by my sudden question.

Then they finally arrived. A testament to how peaceful this valley was, the elders were all in the first rank, with levels in the late thirties, and were very, very old. In other parts, elders are usually higher level, the successful ones, or usually dead. The process is that Exp accrues over time, granting them higher levels. Then, when a major threat comes through, the elders throw themselves at that, and usually either die or progress further. But here they only got enough Exp to push through the threshold ramp of the first rank-up.

"Little Barbara," the lead elder, a man looking to be in his nineties, opened the meeting, "it is still too soon for you to leave the Academy. What happened?"

Barbara started telling everything, from the selection to the delve, the accident, the situation at the capital, then the tragedies that erased a generation of the country's leadership. She didn't tell I caused the [Archmage] spell to misfire or that I cursed the [Prince] during the duel or that Apricot had murdered the former [King].

I guess if one looks at it from that angle without detailed information, they would think it was all our fault. But we were just reacting to their assfuckery.

"The reason I left the Academy," Barbara said at the end of her report, "was that it no longer provided me any value. I got a better teacher and the [Archmages] are gone. The village will no longer have to pay the tuition and I earned enough money to refund what you spend on me. "

Also, I had a copy of the Academy's whole library and all the grimoires, including the teachers' personal ones in the [Lost Sage's Encyclopedia]. Too bad I didn't get to raid the palace books but unless it burned down to the ground, that opportunity would come one day.

"Who is this new teacher?" The lead elder asked.

"That should be me," Arista stood up. "I am Arista, [Princess] and the Siren of Atlantis. I specialize in song magic but I trained with [Magister] Marlowe of Windemere for a while. I agreed to lend the Baroness my aid in her arcane studies and also teaching any youngster in your village who has any talent for magic. Furthermore, I'll also assist the Baroness with establishing diplomatic and trade treaties with the nearby domains."

The elders were touched by the dolphin-mermaid's (she was using her land legs) offer of help. Then...

"I'll help too!" Kasumi hurriedly butted in. "I'm the Matriarch's [Saintess], and I'll offer... spiritual support. Yes."

She knew the only way we would let her stay around was if she played around so she dropped her overbearing spoiled act rather quickly. She'd be heartbroken if we forced her to stay away from us and frankly, a [Saintess] was the magical equivalent of a tactical nuke. One very whimsical and emotional tactical nuke. Better keep her happy and tame than the alternative. I mean, she fucked with a whole species on a whim, that should be enough reason to play along.

The meeting ended without a hitch and the village threw a feast to celebrate their promotion to a Barony and Barbara's return.

*

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*

Night. Illuminated by torches and conjured lights, the feast started. Above us, the sun on the other side of the planet cast light on the belt of debris from the Sylvis, the Shattered Moon. The mysterious clouds of dust which months ago covered the world were now way up in the sky, drifting away from the world.

Together with a minstrel band of Halflings, Arista sang for everyone's entertainment. She cheated by adding elven lungs to her already impressive mermaid voice and opened the event by singing a world-famous folk ballad about, to Apricot's annoyance, the impossible love between First Hero and the Death Princess. It annoyed her and me as well but getting a rise out of Apricot was worth it. Lily, being an earlier model than Apricot didn't mind at all and joined the Halflings in their dance. The Siren would move onto other less facetious songs later on.

During the festivities, I excused myself from Barbara's lap and assumed my doll form to walk around. I found my way to Kasumi, the [Saintess]. The Kitsune's eyes shone and she opened a big grin as she saw me approach.

I asked telepathically.

She nodded frantically,

Kasumi shot a worried glance toward the main table where Barbara was talking to her parents. The [Crystallomancer] raised a glass, then smiled and nodded. I had already talked to her about what I was about to do and she approved it wholeheartedly.

She swopped an arm and picked me up, dashing away around a hill with her heart pounding like a Palace maid who stole the [Knight]'s first kiss.

I couldn't be too hard on her. Not only because she was still a cheating [Saintess] and crossing her was almost akin to courting death but most importantly, because her feelings were genuine. She didn't want to steal me from Barbara. Even with my powers fully unlocked, she had a good chance to pull it. No, Kasumi was, for the lack of a better term, family.

I doubted Pandora would grant her the power of the [Saintess] if she was someone planted by one of the other Gods or even Loki. Never mind how the [Wisp of Creation] managed to appoint one without the Goddess' approval. I would need to wait until we were reunited to tell.

Kasumi was the real deal and she was either Madge or Mona back in the Empire two thousand years ago. She deserved this.

As we went around the hill, we found some halfling children skipping stones on a pond. Nothing out of the ordinary if the stones weren't freaking floating on the water after they lost their momentum. They would take a net at the end of a long stick and fish the stones back to throw them again. These stones gave me an odd feeling.

I called.

She replied, then shouted at the kids, "Hey, can I join you in that game?"

"Fox lady!" One of the boys squealed. "Your tails are so pretty!"

Like every Kitsune out there, Kasumi was very serious about her tails. She blushed slightly, "Why, thank you! You'll be a charmer when you grow up!"

"I'll grow and be taller than you!" He boasted back.

"You sure will. Rock?" She asked. The kid handed her one and she jostled like she'd gotten an electric shock.

I did. I also felt a familiar power in it. Mom's. The damn rock had a tiny amount of Divinity. I played with it for a bit in my cloth hand, threw it up and caught it back. The rock had the mass and inertia one would expect from a rock this size but it felt oddly buoyant even in the air. Like something was pulling it up. I also noticed this rock was mostly made of a greenish mineral.

"Hey, kid!" I called.

"Eekk! The doll talked!" He shouted and the other kids gathered to check what was going on.

"Where did you get this rock?"

"From Rock Golem Hill!" A girl replied. "A Rock Golem was defeated there a hundred years ago, now the place is full of rocks."

It oddly made sense.

"Is it the golem's magic the reason the rocks float on water?"

"We don't know," the kids replied.

"Some rocks float, some don't," the girl explained. "But most of the rocks from the golem do. Those who don't sink very slowly."

"Great," Kasumi chirped, then tried her hand at skipping the rocks over water. Which was ridiculously easy since they couldn't sink. After two rounds, she excused herself. We climbed another hill and she sat on a patch of grass, staring at the stars.

She was emotional and a bit wary, like a kid about to be scolded.

Her heart fluttered for a moment as her tails betrayed her feelings, flailing wildly behind her.

her ears flopped down over her forehead, almost covering her eyes and her tails rested quietly over the grass.

> {Curse Suppression}

I let mom take over and sort things with Kasumi. When the curse took over and I went back to being just Netherbane, I had no idea what they talked about. Kasumi had a slight swelling around her eyes from crying but she sat on the grass, holding me.

I asked.

She caressed the ribbons pretending to be hairs on my head and squeezed me. Kasumi confessed.

I protested.

She left the "to Barbara" part away but I could sense a hint of envy in her voice.

She snorted,

She squeezed me again.

She scoffed, then let a pained sigh.

She didn't reply or react. The kitsune stared longingly at the stars, as if trying to find something amidst them.

I called.

She broke into a fit of laughter.

*

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*

Five days later, Barbara was ready for her inaugural speech. Arista and mom made a new set of enchanted robes for her, using [Living Silk] and dragon sinew (I pity mom for having too many dragons to butcher two thousand years later, shadow workshop or not) for the embroidery along with enough Cores and gemstones to buy a hundred halfling valleys and still have change for a mansion.

She stood on a hill, with the whole village watching down below.

[https://i.imgur.com/iVZOxQX.jpeg]

> > CC-BY-NC 4.0 Midjourney.

I encouraged her.

She stifled a chuckle,

I had no arguments. I wasn't spending my daily {Suppress Curse} just to answer that.

She walked forward and opened her arms, "Hey, everybody. It's me, Barbara. But you already knew that. I mean, I'm back, and I have good news for you. The [King] has recognized Clovehaven as a domain, and now we'll be a Barony. He appointed me to help us improve our livelihood."

She got some rather surprisingly excited cheers. The truth was, the Halflings were rather content with what they had. Just like the Eleons from Rosebush, their biggest wish was for everything to remain the same. What improvements could she bring to this idyllic paradise?

The answer was something that took us five days of soul-seeking and mom's help to brainstorm during the weaving sessions. It was a rather simple answer: the Halflings were content with their lives, but that was due to conformism rather than satisfaction. Just like some of the children who now dreamed of riding exotic beasts after playing with the jaguar girls, many of the Halflings here had some dream they gave up for the sake of stagnation.

Barbara was an outlier. Her wanderlust and desire to learn magic, despite her clumsiness, endeared her to almost every villager. She went to the Academy riding on everyone's dreams, to accomplish something so they could feel that sense of accomplishment by proxy. Now that she returned, with a Noble title, foreign Royalty for tutor, the [Saintess], Lily, and Apricot as traveling companions, and a load of enchanted items, their gamble paid off the big jackpot.

I could sense some envy mixed with the joy but as Barbara said, almost everyone here had some shared blood. Not enough to become inbred but sufficient to evoke familial love.

"We've been sleeping in this valley for centuries. Lying to our hearts that what we had was enough. Afraid of the tall people on the outside. We've been blessed by the Goddess with this valley, that is true. I know that whenever she casts her Divine gaze upon this place, her heart flutters with joy and love."

"Hear, hear!" The Halflings erupted in boisterous cheer.

She squeezed me. We both knew that last sentence wasn't mere rhetoric.

"I absolutely refuse to become the boss of y'all, though," she joked, drawing a round of laughs from the crowd. "We'll do as our ancestors always did, put our heads together and decide together how we should lead our community. I want each of you to think what dreams and aspirations you wish to see come true. I promise before the Matriarch I'll give my best to make it a reality!"

Her speech was short, improvised, but candid and straight to the point. The fears and doubts she harbored in our first months together had all vanished. The ordeal at the Labyrinth, the training with Isaac and the girls, these events build up her confidence, to finally blossom at the [Crown Prince]'s luncheon, which to Barbara was like a rite of passage.

She finally admitted to the world and, more importantly, to herself that she was the [Matriarch's Champion]. She faked wielding the [Unicorn King's Spear] but everyone believed it was her. I felt we cemented our partnership, our master-familiar bond as our thoughts became one. Though it might sound soppy, we were [Wizard] and grimoire, two halves of a whole bigger than the sum of its parts.

I was filled with pride and love for that tiny [Crystallomancer]. No barrier would stand in the path she wanted to tread.

But by the Matriarch's two dozen tails, people would surely try.

*

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*

The halflings decided the Baroness should have a castle. And that they should be the ones to build it. They had a few [Woodsmen], [Lumberjacks] and [Carpenters] but no [Engineers] among them but that was hardly a deterrent. Two months in, and the castle was almost finished, sitting atop a tall hill.

It was one of the self-appointed [Guards] who noticed the small army entering our domain. He shouted the alarm and then did a terrible pantomime to describe their heraldry. Arista got fed and shapeshifted as she flew up to check. She returned a few minutes later with dire news.

Count Crawcolt, our next-fief neighbor and a member of a rival faction to Margrave Hamilton's, had dropped in for a visit, with a host of [Priests] and his elite guard. His army of six thousand soldiers awaited outside our borders.

The good Count rode up a hill, then used a magical item to project his voice.

"For the kidnapping of the [Saintess]," he proclaimed as he read from a scroll, "Baroness Ambrose of Clovehaven is excommunicated from the Matriarch's church and declared a heretic. Surrender now, heretic, so divine justice can be served."

Seems someone was courting death.

Perhaps it was time for some good old purging in the name of the [Goddess-Emperor]. Bless your weapons, sisters.