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In Loki's Honor
Life 28 - Chapter 17 - I ain't got no time for TPK's

Life 28 - Chapter 17 - I ain't got no time for TPK's

Once we got to the barracks in the inner palace building, the priestess gave me a sheath for the spear. It was a boiled leather tube with a strap to sling across the back. It was awkward to draw so I just put the sheathed spear in my item box.

We went to the front courtyard. The lizardfolk trials were still underway but the line of challengers was at the end. Several people were in the main temple praying and doing other rites like purchasing healing spells or getting guidance. We reached the gate and I nodded to the ogre guardsmen-priest. He grunted back and glanced at the beaming priestess behind me.

"White one, you did 'good'. If Galatea is smiling like that, it means you are the rumored [Heritor] and you claimed the relic. I'll watch your progress with great interest," he said.

I tried to now show how surprised I was. The ogre was a priest, even if his deity was the third most brick-headed in the pantheon. Or the first most, since the other two... Oh, I forgot about HER. Nevermind. I was being prejudiced.

"I thank you for your kind words, priest. And I also apologize for offending you."

He laughed and winked. "I know all about you, [Heritor]. A humble monster. Now I'm impressed!"

I held the elderly priestess' hands, "Galatea, is it? A nice name. There's a legend from where I come about someone with the same name."

"You're a child of these plains, Snowdrop," she answered cheekily. "Go. Find within yourselves the virtues of our long-lost King."

I rolled my eyes. "I will. My next rank-up depends on it."

She grinned, "Surely does."

Over the din of the lively temple, I didn't pay attention to the cobblestone path leading to the valley. I turned around and almost bumped into a small group of centaurs coming our way.

"Look where you go, woman!" The leader of the group barked at me.

A quick glance showed me he was a Level 116 [Centaur Chieftain]. Quite high for the plains and he was probably stuck there for decades. He needed a trillion Exp for the next level.

"I'm sorry, [Chieftain]. I was talking to my friend priests here, and got distracted."

His eyes darted between the orc, the ogre, and the centaur priestess then took in my whole body. I'm usually oblivious to the male gaze but he really bothered me.

"Where's your tribe, filly? Level forty-eight... We are the only centaur tribe in the valley now. Where's your tribe?"

Centaurs do not drift away from their herd. The plains are merciless on stray creatures. Galatea the priestess is no exception. The temple priesthood is her herd even though they're mixed species. I had a hunch that the chieftains knew of the legend of the Unicorn King and the [Heritor]. That was probably the reason the rancher chieftain wanted me so badly. I bet that this guy wouldn't let me go without causing trouble. But I felt like telling the truth.

"In Pekothas, enslaved to the filthy humans," I answered. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to do something about it."

I tried to move past them but he raised an arm. While a human's personal space can be defined as "stretch your arms and spin a full circle", a centaur's is more like "Spin on your front hooves and kick with the rear ones in all directions". In both cases, if you touch someone, they're in your personal space.

"How did you survive?" He asked seriously. "What's your chieftain name?"

"I wasn't with them when the humans attacked. I'd been exiled because I cannot bear children. A physical defect healing magic cannot fix. The elders told me I could be reinstated to my herd if I healed it, but the priests here at the Abode of War told me their magic wouldn't work on me."

Not a single lie.

He grabbed my chin. I scowled but didn't fight back. I really didn't want to murder him. The death of a chieftain is a sorrowful event for all the centaurs in the plains. It makes us weaker.

"I believe you. I heard tales from the tribes that escaped the peninsula years ago. A white-furred filly. You've grown, and I don't believe you."

A wrinkled arm removed his hand from my chin. I kept silently glaring at him.

"Chieftain Talysius!" Galatea scolded him. "You will behave here at the Abode of War. That includes the whole hill and valley below! Else the Lord won't bless the youngsters of your herd even if they complete the trial. And rest assured they will know it was because of your disrespect."

That put some ice on his excitement.

"I challenge you, exile," he told me. "State the terms of our challenge."

I started to count the ways I could kill him. I lost count at forty-two [1]. Quite the auspicious number. But I waited for eight years, it wasn't another few that would make the difference.

I made my choice. "An endurance test. We are going to the arena and we will nominate a second each. We will stand still ten meters apart. Our seconds will hit us with identical wooden clubs without using Perks or Skills. Our only restrictions are no healing magic or armor of any kind, no evasion abilities, not moving, and not attacking anyone until the duel ends. First one unconscious loses."

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He laughed. "Challenge accepted. Next sunrise, we start."

I tried very hard to not roll my eyes.

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News of our duel spread throughout the valley. A level 48 [Berserker] (I forgot to update my Class display) against a level 116 [Chieftain]. The betting odds were something between ten to one to fifty to one. I shapeshifted into a mix of Apricot and Alloralla to pass as a half-elf and bet a lot of coin on myself. As much as the bookmakers dared to. After collecting the carved wooden chits with the bet amount and the seal of the bookmaker, I went to the arena.

An oval wood-and-mud structure on the valley floor that could hold about two thousand people. Not a big area as far as gladiatorial colosseums went and not a steel dome, but we had to work with what we got.

I entered the arena with a mixed reaction from the audience. I activated the {Manastorm} set to damage nobody and that was all. Chieftain Talysius came from the tunnel on the other side and the crowd went wild. For the record, his entire clan was there to watch him, and the bookmakers had a lot of money running on the big guy too.

Another centaur entered behind him, his second. The ogre priest-guard came behind me. He'd offered to be my second as I was an exile and I accepted. Both held wooden clubs of the same type. In the ogre's hands, the club was a toothpick.

Galatea came last to adjucate. She wore a maille hauberk, a steel skullcap, and a tabard with Queltphion's crossed-weapons symbol. She made a speech about the duel and the rules. Then she cast a spell on both seconds that would accuse us if they used Perks to hit with the clubs and we took our places.

At her signal, the centaur lieutenant and ogre priest started to bash the challengers.

> Centaur lieutenant bashed you for 1 HP of damage (Base 21 x2 size x2.5 Strength x0.4 Skin x0.03 Eye of the Manastorm x0,69 mitigate)

Maybe I overdid it. Try as he might, he could never overcome my defenses or deal more damage than I could regenerate each second. Most of the time, it was zero damage unless he delivered a critical. Meanwhile, the ogre was giving the mother of all massages to the chieftain. He too had mitigation abilities but not as cheated as mine.

Then the lieutenant started to fight dirty. Since I could not move, he tried to push me. He had enough strength to bowl me over but not to overcome the Force wall I placed against me. Then he started to hit vital spots like the back of my head for more critical hits.

> Centaur lieutenant bashed you for 4 HP of damage (Base 33 x2.5 Strength x3 Critical x0.4 Skin x0.03 Eye of the Manastorm x0,69 mitigate).

Which were completely useless anyway. He would need to deliver four hundred such critical hits per second to beat my regeneration. The ogre priest saw what the lieutenant was doing and started to hit the chieftain head too. Several minutes of gruesome punishment later, the chieftain fell unconscious due to a critical from the ogre.

"Winner! Snowdrop!" Galatea shouted.

The lieutenant ran to see if his boss was still alive. I conjured a huge blob of ice-chill {Healing Water} over the two centaurs and let it splash over them. I turned around and walked toward the exit tunnel, making sure to enhance the volume of the sound of my hooves using my [Musician] abilities.

That's when I sensed danger and triggered {Phase} to become incorporeal. The chieftain's claymore sword passed through me. I used {Blink Step} to move to the mouth of the tunnel before dropping {Phase}.

"You cheater!" He roared, clearly out of his mind "Fight me like a true [Warrior]!"

Golden bands appeared over his neck, wrists, and shins. Galatea approached from behind. "OATHBREAKER!" Her voice rang over the entire valley, coming from above and not from her mouth. I had to learn that trick.

"You violated a sacred duel overseen by Queltphion!" She said, now from her own mouth and without the plus-nine creepiness factor. "Your transgression means exile! Let it be known, let it be engraved upon your soul! All those that see you shall know how dishonorable you are. You and your bloodline shall bear this sin for seven generations! All are banished from this valley!"

The golden bands of divine magic seared his flesh. Something very close to Celtic knots appeared on the burnt bands. I knew these would be impossible to erase without severing the limbs and neck. Good luck surviving that. The golden bands vanished and while he was reeling in pain, a searing holy symbol of Queltphion appeared in front of him and burned a square foot of his chest. I could smell the burnt flesh from here.

Some centaurs in the bleachers screamed as they to suffered the same markings. As well as the lieutenant. Since the females used to pick the males at the breeding peninsula, chieftains usually had lots of progeny. All of them were fucked now. The branded ones were immediately shunned by the rest of their clan. In Centaur culture, there's no place for cowards.

I also heard several among the audience muttering prayers to Queltphion. The Arena was a venue for spectacles and glory, and the Gods had no stage fright.

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[1]: I wrote 42 before I made the list for very well known reasons. As I know some will ask for it...

1. Shapeshift into a rabbit and bite his head off.

2. Drop a bulder on his head.

3. Warp him to the Ethereal and leave him to starve.

4. {Force Javelin} through the eye.

5. Dump Deathberry juice on his head.

6. Blow Deathberry pollen on his big nose.

7. Force shackles, then make him eat Deathberries.

8. Poison dart with deathberry extract.

9. A bomb with deathberry sap.

10. Rub deathberry leaves on his asshole.

11. use Radiation to give him cancer.

12. Use Vorpal Claws to cut off all his five legs and two arms. Let him exsanguinate

13. Burn with fire.

14. Shock with lightning.

15. Freeze with ice.

16. Make a cloth golem then golem pummels him dead.

17. 1B damage Solar Beam.

18. Stunlock then flay his skin.

19. Drop a cathedral on his head. A cathedral is way different than a boulder.

20. Drop a dragon emperor corpse on his head.

21. {Forcefire Maiden}. Worked on a deity.

22. Two moveable Force walls, crush him. Use cores and blood magic to supply the required Energy.

23. Shapeshift into a huge flying thing, grab him, drop from the sky.

24. Shapeshift into an amazonian candiru fish with claws instead of fins and burrow up his urethra. Leave through the eye socket. Wreck all in-between.

25. Shapeshift into a pinworm and kill him by prolapsing his bleeding ass.

26. Shapeshift into a wasp, fly into his mouth or nostril, sting him to death from inside.

27. Shapeshift into a wasp, fly into his mouth, then become a blue whale inside him.

28. Fly high up, shapeshift into a blue whale, get a petunia vase, see who gets more philosophycal before hitting the guy.

29. Shapeshift into a blue whale, become a cannibal and phagocitosis him.

30. Give him a taste of the Centaur King's spear. The way the lecherous old horse liked.

31. Drop one of Bit's spikes on his head.

32. Trapping him in a bubble of Force, then filling it with water.

33. Trapping him in a bubble of Force, then filling it with deathberry juice.

34. Trapping him in a bubble of Force, then filling it with acid.

35. Trapping him in a bubble of Force, then curse him to lose HP over time.

36. Planting one of Bit's spikes on the ground business end up, grabbing him, then dropping on the spike.

37. Shapeshift into a T-rex, bite head off.

38. Grapple, then drain longevity.

39. Use {Wail of the Banshee}. Too much people around me.

40. Turn into a lamia, squeeze the guy.

41. Turn into a lamia, poison fang the guy.

42. {Royal Geas} him to not breathe, watch him squirm. Use cores or blood to supply Energy.