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In Loki's Honor
Life 30 - Chapter 12 - When Life gives you a Cheater, they make Lemonade out of you

Life 30 - Chapter 12 - When Life gives you a Cheater, they make Lemonade out of you

I was so pissed that I jumped to break the statue with a mighty roundhouse kick. I never touched the stone. I just hovered in the air, staring at the statue. I wasn’t weightless but not moving in either direction at all.

> > You are restrained.

The System gave me just that message. What the hell? How was I restrained? No idea. What the fuck wasn’t I supposed to be anti-magical? Why was I burning in this fucking garden for?

“I cannot let you destroy the statue,” The Kobold [Queen] calmly said to me.

I couldn’t even turn around to look at her. I could tension my muscles but it was as if I was pinned in a stone cast. I could feel the pressure of the restraints against my skin.

It wasn’t something physical, at least from what I could see within the range of my eyes moving. I could breathe. There was no timer and no Ability or Perk I tried to use broke this. It was absurd. An utter cheat.

Only one explanation ticked all the boxes.

“You’re a [Saintess], right?” I asked the queen, outside my field of view. It was obvious. She was Wyxnos’ [Saintess]. And this statue was the nexus of whatever assfuckery was going on in this desert.

“Indeed. I was blessed by my Lord with the power to defend his interests in this world,” The queen answered, her voice oozing fanaticism now.

Compared to her, the gnomes invoking Wyxnos’ name were just kids playing superheroes in the playground.

“What’s the name of your Lord?” I asked.

“You are not worthy of hearing that, you traitor! You broke our agreement!”

“I never said I wouldn’t break stuff. I didn’t attack anyone until now, but you were the one who broke our agreement. Know what? I’m being a Karen here and calling your manager.”

> [Administrator Hotline]

>

> CALL START

>

> > You have been renamed as “The Matriarch”. You cannot use your in-world name anymore.

>

> The Matriarch: Hey, Wyxnos. Two quick things. One, why didn’t you like my chosen name? Isn’t it gnomish enough for you? Two, do you mind if I murder your KOBOLD [Saintess], o mighty god of Gnomes?

>

> The Matriarch: Guys? Anyone?

>

> Tuisto: I believe Wyxnos is unavailable. Let me check one thing… The message went through to his interface. He doesn’t want to answer.

>

> Loki: Nice find, kid. ROFL. A kobold [Saintess]? Hey, wanna make a deal? Worship me, and I’ll make you my [Saintess].

>

> The Matriarch: Can I even use {Saintess Magic}? I’m {Anti-magical}.

>

> Loki: Yeah, because it’s a hack. The [Saint] system used the System indirectly. The bindings you are currently enveloped by are enforced by the System. The Kobold girl is just paying the maintenance cost. Wyxnos too, as use of this System, drains the deity.

>

> The Matriarch: What’s the catch?

>

> Loki: Does everything have to come with strings attached? You offed me, old friend. I’m trying to help you here.

>

> The Matriarch: Can we drop the “the” in my chatroom name?

>

> Tuisto: Done.

>

> > You have been renamed as “Matriarch”. This change is permanent and persistent.

>

> Matriarch: Okay. Loki, you are a deity of lies. Tuisto, what Loki gains from this deal that he’s not telling me.

>

> Loki: Slander! I say it’s slander! I’m not a god of Lies! I’m a god of Trickery, Change, Fire, and other things. Not lies.

>

> Matriach: You lied to Svaðilfari. The poor stallion thought you were a fine mare.

>

> Loki: I saved Freyja from marrying a Jotunn! Not to mention the Sun and Moon as well! I unraveled that scheme, can’t you understand? See what I have to deal with? All because of some lies spun about me! Everyone gets what they want, except for poor Loki. Freyja got her freedom, Odin got his horse, The Aesir got their wall, Thor got to bash a Jotunn’s skull, Svaðilfari got a good time. But poor Loki? Poor Loki gets the slander, the death threats, the butt end of the joke.

>

> Matriarch: Did you get a good time too? You also got the D, didn’t you?

>

> Loki: No comments. You are so cruel, Matriarch. But you should try it sometimes. Find yourself a stallion too, like one of the centaurs in the plains if you think your fellow gnomes aren’t rising to the challenge.

>

> Matriarch: Okay, I’ll withdraw my statement if you tell me what you’re getting.

>

> Tuisto: Enough of your idle banter! I shall mediate this. Withdraw your statement and I’ll tell you what is it that Loki desires.

>

> Matriarch: Okay. Loki, you are not a God of Lies. It’s just that Trickery sometimes involves benevolent falsehood using words.

>

> Loki: You break my heart, Matriarch.

>

> Matriarch: I apologize.

>

> Loki: Apologies Accepted! Why doesn’t this thing have emojis? Here, smile, smile, kiss, wink.

>

> Matriarch: Eww.

>

> Loki: I can shapeshift into a mare in heat for you if you want to play.

>

> Matriarch: Double eew. Hard pass, dude. Tuisto, help.

>

> Tuisto: If you chose to worship Loki, you’d have become a subordinate deity to him, and he’d receive not only a tithe of the faith you earn but also all the faith backlog you aren’t claiming since you reincarnated last time.

>

> Matriarch: Damn. Speaking of that, what happened to my familiars?

>

> Tuisto: They’re dormant. Don’t worry, the souls of your followers are safe within the domain of the System Core.

>

> Matriarch: Thanks, old man! So, Wyxnos?

>

> Tuisto: Still unavailable. It seems he does not wish to communicate with you.

>

> You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

>

> Matriarch: His loss. I’m going to break his little desert poop recycling business. Tell him that if he wants to stop me, he just needs to ring. Or come down here in person. The gnomes would love to see him.

>

> CALL END

Back to the real world. I was still bound. I tried struggling but it didn’t seem to go anywhere. Time for the nuclear option.

“{Last Stand}!” I literally shouted the Perk name. Power infused me as I set my target as the whole desert, kobolds, effigies, siphon, dead magic zone, and gnomes alike.

Did they want to play rough? They got their wishes heard. I had to test myself against one of these bullshit [Saints] anyway.

I struggled against the bindings, trying to break free of slip out of it. It couldn’t be absolute. I heard the kobold [Queen] scream as the bindings broke. I fell straight down but managed to put my feet underneath me and ended up in a three-point ninja pose. The [Queen] was bleeding from her ear holes and nostrils, staring at me with fear in her heart.

“Now, your species gets extinct. Your only fault was worshipping the wrong god,” I said and rushed forward.

She mumbled a prayer and I slammed into an invisible flat barrier. I used {Kiai Shout} as I pummeled the barrier with dozens of quick punches like it was a speed bag. Each blow drained both her and Wyxnos. The latter was inconsequential for the mortal dilemma but it was good to stick one to the man.

“Stop, please!” She cried as she ran away, dropping the wall.

Big mistake. Very few things could outrun me on foot if I didn’t have a handicap. Except, you know, for them being cheaters. I was about to deliver a flying kick backstab when golden light enveloped the kobold [Queen] as she turned around, froze me again, and shouted.

> > You are restrained.

“By my Lord’s Will, Be Gone! Die! Die!”

The restraints started to squeeze me. The damage piled up as I struggled again, but the golden glow around her just healed her wounds and probably, from the burning sensation like she was a stove, recharged her MP or whatever [Saints] used to cheat the system.

My bones creaked as they pressed against the wall, then against one another, and found that the path of least resistance was to fold on themselves. The pressure on my skull made my vision become just shining points and I couldn’t even move my lungs to scream. The pain was unbearable and I deactivated my pain resistance just to fall unconscious and stop hurting.

For a moment, I floated in the nothing, staring at a single System message.

> You Died

The war has been declared. Shots have been fired. Casualties happened. No mercy.

----------------------------------------

STATUS:

Level 64

Strength: 64+23 (87) - Dexterity*: 64+37 (101) - Endurance: 64+24 (88)

Mind: 56+36 (92) / 64 - Willpower: 56+43 (99) / 64 - Charisma: 50+34 (84) / 64

HP 202.654 (487 HP/min)

Energy 285.709 (335 E/min)

Combat

* Blades [ 315 / 361 ]

* Clubs [ 114 / 297 ]

* Combat Technique [ 341 ]

* Martial Arts [ 256 / 329 ]

* Spear [ 389 / 405 ]

* War Technique (**) [ 192 / 297 ]

* Wild Warrior [ 307 ]

Magical

* Assassination [ 281 / 297 ]

* Mental Mastery [ 639 ]

* Spellcaster (**) [ 0 ]

Physical

* Furtivity [ 681 ]

* Mobility [ 403 / 435 ]

* Physical Mastery [ 640 / 672 ]

Technical

* Alchemist (*) [ 344 ]

* Baker [ 199 / 297 ]

* Botanist [ 281 / 297 ]

* Cartographer [ 341 ]

* Diplomat [ 516 ]

* Dismantler [ 281 / 297 ]

* Enchanter [ 555 ]

* Gnome Machinist [ 97 / 172 ]

* Harvester (**) [ 102 / 297 ]

* Jeweler (*) [ 367 / 402 ]

* Leadership [ 361 ]

* Metalsmith (*) [ 348 / 388 ]

* Miner (*) [ 312 / 322 ]

* Musician [ 299 / 309 ]

* Physician (*) [ 223 / 300 ]

* Rune Scriber (**) [ 104 / 297 ]

* Silkweaver (*) [ 174 / 297 ]

Gnomish Machinist [ 97 / 172 ]

* Oiled gears: Rotating parts in your machines are subject to (Proficiency/8)% less friction if it’s beneficial.

* Maneuverability II: (Proficiency/17)% better steering and control.

* Speed I: (Proficiency/15)% faster top speed.

* Energy Storage I: (Proficiency/10)% more autonomy.

* Efficient Design I: (Proficiency/20)% lighter without any loss of strength.

* Load-Bearing I: (Proficiency/8)% greater maximum load.

Perks

* Anti-Magical (ultra-rare): You cannot use magic. The cap for all Magical and Spiritual Attributes is zero. The actual value of all Magical and Spiritual Attributes is zero. Reduce the effect, duration, and damage of all magical effects on you by 99%. This Perk cannot be turned off.

* Arcane Magic Resistance V (ultra-rare): Reduce all arcane-based damage suffered and the duration of arcane-related debuffs by 97%.

* Environmental Adaptation (combined): For every 30 minutes spent in a hostile environment, you gain an additive and cumulative 6% resistance to the environment’s ongoing effects. This resistance caps at 90% after 15 ticks. Spending 7 days outside the environment resets the benefit. If you once reached the maximum resistance for a particular environment, your interval to regain the resistance is lowered to 5 minutes.

* Sand Sense (uncommon): You can sense the direction and distance of creatures and objects obscured by dust, silt, or sand in your line of sight.

* Breathe Rocks (very rare): You don't need to breathe if there is a mass of rock heavier than your own weight within 1 meter of you.

* Tinker’s Weapons (rare): When you operate an emplacement weapon you created with [Gnomish Machinist], you can either use half your Proficiency as the weapon or add 10% to the actual Weapon Proficiency. < --Proficiency Synergies were always welcome.

* Steadfast Grip (common): Tools and weapons never naturally slip or chafe your grasping appendages.

* Blueprint Visualization (rare): After you committed to building a blueprint and have all the parts in hand, you can visualize where each part goes. You assemble and build your projects (Dexterity)% faster and may find if any part is missing or out of specifications by making a Mind test.

* Gnomish High Society (ultra rare): You are part of the gnomish elite. Shift all gnomes’ reactions two steps in your favor.

* Crafter’s Respect (ultra rare): You gain a +1 Charisma bonus to all social interactions with other craftsmen (by Class) for every 150 points in Technical Proficiencies.

* Explorer’s Sight (rare): You can see detail at distances greater than 500 meters as if it was ten times closer.

* Threat Sense (uncommon): You can detect threats as if they are twice as closer.

* Landstrider (rare): You learn the Mobility proficiency 20% faster.

* Sand Feet (rare): Moving on fine solid particulate does not make you sink or leave prints.

* Sandstrider: You do not suffer movement rate penalties moving on fine solid particulate.

* Stone Burrowing (rare): You can move through stone at a tenth of your speed, leaving a stable tunnel behind if you so wish. You tunnel twice as fast in dirt.

* Green Thumb (rare): Plants under your care have double growth and yield rates. They are twice as resistant against damage, disease, and parasites.

* Siege Engineer II (very rare): Emplacement weapons you built, oversee, or operate gain a 20% accuracy bonus.

* Assembly Line Supervisor (rare): You can coordinate and manage the work of up to twelve low-skilled helpers. Their Proficiencies gain a bonus equal to 20% of your own, up to half your score. The whole team must work on the same project. Helpers learn the Proficiency with a 25% bonus if you are willing to teach them.

* Mechanism Crafting (very rare): You add 20% of your Willpower to your Proficiency when designing or crafting intricate mechanisms.

* Clockwork Crafting (ultra-rare): You can design and build miniaturized machinery, making them two sizes smaller.

* Specialized Tools II (very rare): You can design special tools for specific tasks. These tools grant a +10 Proficiency bonus to anyone using it for the specific task and a 10% extra bonus to you.

* Journeyman’s Trial (very rare): You can dedicate a long time and effort to craft a contraption, vehicle, or mechanized stationary feature that encompasses your full skills at this stage. If you finish your project, you gain a 10x Exp multiplier from crafting until you reach the Second Rank.

* Berserker Rage (combined): During your rage, you gain: +14 to Strength, Dexterity, Endurance, Willpower, Magic, Soul, Luck, +50% movement rate, 100% damage to magical barriers or shields. The rage lasts [4*SQRT(Endurance)] minutes, [4*SQRT(Strength)] times per day. Each spell that hits you, or critical hits you deal and/or receive adds a minute to the rage timer. Attempts at mind control fail and burn 5 minutes of rage time unless you are out of time.

* Titan Skin (combined): Absolute Damage Reduction 90%. Your integument is always impeccable and can be colored at will. Add 40% to stealth if half or more of your skin is exposed. Damaged integument regrows in the time needed to regenerate 2% of your maximum HP. Add a tenth of your maximum HP to your maximum Energy. Reduce bleeding damage by 90%. You can sense with your skin, granting lightless "vision" 20 meters all around you. You are immune to integument afflictions including damage from fine particulate at normal speeds.