I looked around the battlefield, doing the gruesome work of mangling the bodies of the knights with monster appendages and dropping monster bodies here and there. I had to build a relatively believable narrative.

That narrative went like this: "The caravan was ambushed by a pack of roving monsters, remnants from the Dungeon stampede that took another exit". I would carve another soon. The Dungeon was immense and stretched far beyond the capital. Heck, a shallow delve took weeks of walking around. And the dark elves entered from another Dungeon in the deeper levels. So the whole underground was a swiss cheese labyrinth of tunnels and monsters. Lots of monsters.

I looked at the two mangled, bruised, bloodied, but still alive knights. They were fanatically staring at me and it made me uncomfortable. The caravan was ambushed and everyone died, but I needed to survive. Worse, I needed someone to vouch for me. Enter the stooges.

These two were the cruelest and meanest knights. Their loyalty was to the power the King granted them to commit their wicked acts, no to some lofty ideal of justice, valor, or other knightly bullshit. No. Once I showed them the heads from King, Queen, and archmagister, they were inclined to listen to me. Then I dropped the still searing hot red dragon's head on their laps and spoke in no uncertain terms that they either helped me or died. They hailed me as the deliverer of death.

What hollow promises I laid upon their feet. Women, riches, power, glory. Gore. Carnage. The wounds they sported were inflicted by their own comrades. Their pockets were lined with gold I gave them. Gold I'd soon retrieve once their usefulness was over.

To allow them to live sickened me. But I needed them and the two simpletons wouldn't betray me.

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We reached the next town limping. I wasn't spotlessly clean. My body had lots of gashes and bruises from the monsters' claws and fangs. Hurt like hell even with a 91% reduction on the pain perception.

"Hail the gate!" one of the knights shouted. "Royal Knight here! Send aid! We need a healer!"

We walked for four days on the road. Nobody came behind us, the travelers behind too busy either running away or looting the battlefield. The two with me were on their last leg. Their wounds were infected and festering. They would need amputations but so long the promise of a whore laid on the horizon, they moved on.

The gate opened. I sensed the souls of the newcomers. Not a mage around us. Then I triggered my illusion spell. Monsters growled and jumped out of the treeline. They ran toward us.

"RUN!" I shouted at the town guards. "I'll hold them back!"

The {Geas} forced the two wicked knights to aid with my deception. They drew their swords and danced with the illusionary monsters. The last stand. The gate guards fled back to the safety of their wall, glad to let the highly esteemed Royal knights to their glory.

They defeated a monster and I dropped an invisible corpse, making the death throes of the critter match the position of the fallen carcass. It was all synchronized. Like a puppeteer, I had the materialized ghost of a monster kill the first knight. Then the next. I dropped more monster corpses, replaced the two knights' bodies with others, and ran to the gate. I wouldn't let the gold die with them.

The assholes dropped the portcullis. Archers shot at the illusions. I had to make them react to dodge or suffer the shot. The horde grew as more monsters came.

"OPEN THE GATE!" I shouted in desperation. {Master Social Tact} included {Acting}.

"No can do, milady!" The garrison commander yelled from above. "We can't risk the city!"

I turned around and faced the snarling phantoms. My chant was boosted by my wind magic and bardic Skills. The whole city would listen. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

Thunder erupted from the sky and the ground blew into smithereens. The spells I cast in rapid succession, unlike the illusions, were real. A twister of wind and fire came from above and touched down. A gust of wind blew the debris and smoke away, revealing a tired [Sorceress] straining to hold a barrier to protect the town wall and the ramparts. I screamed like kung-fu monkey-aliens that become blonde when enraged.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The fire died down. A smoldering crater a hundred meters across and half as deep decorated the front of the gate. Debris rained for several football fields lengths away from the crater. It stopped two meters in front of me where the barrier was. The grass on my side of the barrier was untouched. This little farce used up a bit less than three million MP.

The gate guards cheered. The portcullis lifted. I fell on a knee, blew the smoke away with a gust of wind, and used Nenandil's help to drop a drizzle of snow on the crater. Finally, I dropped the wall.

"It is done," I shouted.

The cheering reached a crescendo. The guards came and helped me back on my feet. One of them was a fellow Eleon. I threw an arm over his shoulder and limped to the guard station.

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The worst part of this ploy was to heal naturally. I refused the priests' help - that could only go bad - and used my own magic to fix my wounds. Two days later, the mayor fined me for fifteen gold coins - I'd destroyed the main road. I grumbled and paid.

Petty me thought about paying a lot of silver to some gossips to ruin his reputation as one that ripped off the apprentice of the court archmage that saved the city from a nasty monster stampede. I didn't. Gaining notoriety was the least important thing in my to-do list.

I went back to the capital via {Tree Stride} and ordered Kazuyran to keep an eye on the trio of adventurers I befriended. I also swapped my house for another that looked exactly like it but shoddier. We needed to keep the appearances or they would think I fled with the King and the archmagister. Rumors of war were on the horizon. I looted a third of the Royal treasury. The infighting for the regency was reaching the point where armies would march to secure the capital for their faction.

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I might have saved the city from the stampede but not from being destroyed by their own inhabitants' greed and ambition. Fate had these whims. I went back to the inn I was staying in. I spent a couple days in the city, shopping and gauging the reaction of the people. I sent a fast courier to the capital with the news of the monster ambush and the demise of the knights.

Having a sixty-three hitting the mind of whoever used {Appraise} on me opened a lot of doors (No, there weren't floating level-and-name-tags over anyone). Splurging the mayor's secret treasure stash in his own town's economy even more. I stocked up on tools, pastries, foodstuff, sundries, cloth, haberdashery, good, enchantable stock metal, wooden logs, the like. I filled my infinite storage with all sorts of goods.

Three days later, I was on the road back home. The travelers on the wagon, mostly Eleons like me were happy to have the helpful "lady sorceress" to keep them safe from monsters and bandits on the road. We met none. Finally, after three months away, I was back home. Wearing my magician's robes, a hooded cloak hiding my face, and using a magical staff as a cane, I walked the packed dirt streets of my birth village.

It was just a few months but it felt like years. I seldomly returned to the places I left behind, Fulgen being an honorable exception.

The color of my hair changed, the hood and the high level did not make anyone suspicious about my identity. I recognized some of the villager's voices as they greeted the wandering "master [Mage]" that arrived with the regional passenger wagon. Not a stagecoach. A Conestoga-like wagon with two long wooden benches that were filled with people on both sides.

I was divided between going straight home or the local inn. Standing still in the middle of the village, the scent of freshly baked bread incited an eruption of nostalgia. It was the smell that greeted me every morning of my infancy. On firm legs but quivering knees, I made my way to the bakery.

"Good morning, would you want some bread-- Whoa. I'm sorry, master [Mage]. I meant no disrespect!" Daddy.

I lowered my head and shed a tear. I went away with him frightened by my powers. Fearing his daughter was a [Witch]. Nothing against the Class but the perk shop could direct a group of practitioners into what they believed was the easier path to power. And let me tell you. Sacrificing a life yields A FUCKING LOT of power. Yes, the caps were necessary. Maybe a boldface font too. 'Exempli gratia', by sacrificing Queen Alloralla's life, I was able to shave a rank off of one of Loki's curses.

I felt like one of those hidden camera shows. I hit the bread basket with my staff. I dared not speak.

"You want some bread? Please, have one master [Mage]! On the house, haha!" He tittered. Daddy was clearly nervous. "You know, my daughter has some magic too."

I shifted my vocal cords to use Apricot's voice. "Splendid. Master [Baker], I wish your daughter's success in life. The path of magic is a difficult one to thread, especially with all the prejudice and fear. I suffered a lot when starting out."

"Oh, mistress!" He gasped when he noticed my gender. With the a-cups Rosewise's genetics blessed me with, it was easy to pass as an androgynous male with all these layers of clothing. "I'm sorry!"

"Fear not, master [Baker]!" I said with a chipper voice. Then I took a bite of the bread and moaned with a foodgasm. "So good!"

"I'm delighted the mistress liked my bread."

"It's divine. Master [Baker], here's a silver for this loaf."

He gasped, surprised as I placed the coin on the counter. "That's too much, mistress! A big loaf of bread is two coppers!"

"Keep the change for the conversation then. This daughter of yours, how is she?"

He made a proud sub-vocalization. "She went to the capital! To become an adventurer and an [Enchanter]! Can you believe it? My wife wanted her to be a [Weaver]! She writes to us every now and then. She even sent us some enchanted rings from the first batch she made. They're copper, but I can see the love she put in them!"

I felt he waving his hand in front of me and got a glimpse of it when he came close.

"Are you wearing the ring she made for you?"

"Of course! She's our pride! The pride of the whole village! She delved the Dungeon, made friends, set up her shop, killed monsters. And this ring helps me bake bread, can you believe it!"

I fought to keep a sob contained. But the tears rolled down my cheeks. I only hoped my hood masked them.

"Master [Baker], one last thing. How much bread can you sell me without bothering your other customers? I would buy them all but I don't want to cause you trouble."

"Oh, mistress! Not many, people usually buy all the bread, don't you know? Can you imagine? Last week, I was all sold out and a human girl, tall and lanky came running from far away desperate to buy a loaf of bread! I had none! She dismayed, telling that she would never find bread! It was her legendary quest or some other bullshit like that."

His vocabulary was a bit crude, but I'd love to know the story of that girl. Looked like something interesting. If only there was a link to read it somewhere...

Maybe there is one somewhere. I stopped wondering because I heard the sound of some invisible wall breaking. Back to the bread. There was plenty.

"How many loaves then, master [Baker]?"

"I can sell you three, milady. I don't know if elder Molly will pass by today to buy it, she's rather sick lately."

"I'll buy two then. Give me the third, I'll take elder Molly her bread."

There was no paper bag. People carried their bread on their hands. "Beat the dust and chomp away!" as my father used to say. He's right there in front of me. I produced a messenger bag and placed the long loaves of bread in it.

"If the mistress is going to stay here for a while, I can make an extra batch of bread this afternoon."

I smiled under my hood. "Really? Then please, make the biggest and tastier batch you can. If you can put wild berries or honey in the bread, I'd love to."

He chuckled. "Aye. My daughter also loved these! Yes! I'll make you a batch of bread that will delight you, milady!"

I placed a gold coin on the counter and left.

"Thank you, master [Baker]!"

"Milady! A gold is too much!"

I ran, wishing the wind would blow my tears away.

I visited the elder Molly and healed her. She had a broken hip because of a nasty fall. She loved the bread and couldn't go buy it. After operating her, I went to the bakery in the late afternoon to pick up my bread. I made the basket vanish before my surprised father, left him another gold coin, and went to book a room at the inn. Tomorrow morning, I'll show up at home.

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Temus Honorcoin arrived home late. Tired and overjoyed, he found his wife in the main room of their cottage. "Eirana! You won't believe it!"

"Temus! Did you hear we have an illustrious visitor? A wandering [Mage] and [Healer]. She visited elder Molly and healed her hips!" Eirana beat him back with the latest gossip.

"Ha! I know, she went to my bakery and I told her about the elder. I didn't expect her to heal her, but the old lady deserved it! Can you believe it! I'm tired and the mage, level sixty-three, laid praise on my bread and even commissioned a whole batch of fruit and honey bread! She paid me two gold! Two gold Eirana!"

"I'm very proud, Temus!" Eirana came and hugged her husband. "I wonder how our little Rose is doing at the capital. Some travelers told there are wandering monsters around. There was a fight in Bernford a few days ago. A court mage and some knights defended the gates against a horde of monsters!"

Temus fiddled with his enchanted ring. It might be copper but to him, it was worth more than gold. "I am sure she's fine. Hey, do you think that visiting [Mage] is the same that fought at Bernford's gates?"

"I hope not, Temus. If they came here, it is because trouble will soon follow."

The couple hugged again, exchanged a kiss, and ate their dinner talking again and again about the visitng magician and their daughter. They went to bed early. Such was a [Baker]'s life.