Pyro POV

I wonder what legend would be made with all this stuff, probably it would be interesting if it be later called the wrath of nature, or goddess of nature, divine retribution, arrogant humans kicked bucket or 'Hello Garden', but no one would know what really happened to this city of... I think I never learned the name of this city. Oh well. Right, so the current destruction before my eyes is the work of one and only mascottess mascot, Mr Peanuts! Now thinking about it, I probably took the name from boxxiest box, or chestiest chest or whatever, but it doesn't matter, right?

“TIME'S UP, MAGGOTS!!!” oh time's up. Wonder what's this voice coming from? Well it's my portable cooking stove, magic powered with voiced timer. I call this voice 'Angry Staff Sergent', or 'A.S.S.' for short.

“Fifth of the agreed amount is ready. Can't believe he managed to lay his paws on this jar.” let me tell you, this cookie jar is enormous. I thought it would be some english cottage two stories tall, but actually it's more of a football field, than a cottage, just with two floors. I will never again agree on his cooking jars again! “Anyway let's ready the next portion of cookies before... Oohhhh! Bunny!” not far from me, at the edge of the forest, bunny hopped carelessly. Well it was more like two clicks away, two kilometers in case you're wondering. The cookies should be ready in ten minutes, so let's capture a bunny and pet it to death! Mwuaha-ha-ha-ha!

*

Few hours later I was bored of playing with this bunny. After they cease struggles I get bored in a few minutes, so I started injecting mana into it, altering the bone structure, as well as muscle tissues and fur, and at the same time I baked cookies, well more like I created a factory by using a bit of earth and flame magic, as I got annoyed baking them in 'Grandma Style'. Oh and my cooking leveled to [Master]. Seems like this amount of cookies only amount to this much. Well, doesn't matter. I don't cook a lot anyway.

By the way, while I played with bunny, and baked cookies, Mr Peanuts made magical array, created army of something bright and white, probably light spirits, and played a role of crazy hatter, dancer and singer, all that was accompanied by flashes, explosions and in some cases rain. If there was a Godzilla somewhere there I would think that he decided to make some movie about a giant monster attacking a city, fortunately he only got a bone dragon, don't know where he got a corpse of a dragon though.

Looking at all that scene I decided to barge in, along with my new friend, Super Mutant Killer Bunny. Casting [Flight] on both of us, as well as [Domination] on bunny, as this cowardly creature would try to run away given the chance, but now he had the courage of a zealot, brain-dead zealot. Oh right, I should get Linda out of the forest... nah, she'll be fine, probably.

Anyway here I am, in the skies above the city, already, looking down on those fertilizer bags, running around on the meaningless... Ahem. Somehow I got distracted. Right so blazing in this city, I wanted to scream at those idiots, but... is it so much fun? I mean of course it's cool acting like a villain, but that's only if you are retarded, crazy or some other stuff. I am crazy, probably, but even I don't want to act like that, it spells trouble most of the time. So instead of me I produced the illusion of me, which has around 5% of my stats, so it's a lie about the clones with 10% of the original power, or I didn't get the proper trait, mastery, affinity, whatever. So I saw off my clone, with pathetic stats, masteries as well as affinities, and watched him get... oh wait, he actually managed to fight few guards. Cool, but then some sort of paladin emerged screaming something about justice, light and magic sword. And that bastard broke through the block of my clone, cleaving him in half. And clone dissipated into light particles, to much bewilderment from the paladin. Guess it's my turn... oh wait I can order my SMKB to attack it. Shitty abbreviation, but will do for now.

“Foul Creature! You shall not path!” and that idiot struck the ground with his sword, which is in shitty gold colour. Wait, I can bet that I met such a guy somewhere... he need staff, gray robes, long white beard... and hobbits. Yeah, I guess this one just a ripoff, lame parody, or whatever else it could be. “In the name of the light I-” he couldn't finish his sentence as my killer bunny, er, killed him. And as a good dog he is, he brought me a sword of this guy.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

“Um... thank you? Now what the hell should I do with it? Oh I know! I will melt it into points!” luckily I still can convert the gold to SYSTEM coins, it's the power of hero! Well actually some annoying priests, chosen ones, etc. not some assistant. But as I started the process, something unexpected happened.

Unable to convert Expcalibur to SC. Divine, and higher tier, items (even shitty ones) can't be converted into their materials or SC.

Ok... and what is this thing?

Expcalibur (Greatsword) {Spirit Gold} D-Rank [Divine]

Unbreakable

Return to owner

Heartseeker

The sword made by infamous blacksmith who always crafted something that wasn't supposed to work. This particular sword is actually oversized throwing knife, able to return to the owner at his or her will. Quite unwieldy in close combat, but strong enough to kill almost anything living if thrown.

And that blacksmith was a forger. Well fine by me, though this two-handed throwing knife is strange. Not like the proper sword could be used by me, especially if I don't really like such stuff, yes swords are cool and all, but I prefer being sniper and saboteur, not idiot with deathwish ultra-greatsword to compensate for shortcomings. And what this bunny wants from me?

“Good boy, I allow you to hunt for food.” Wait... I forgot, he's under domination... and he ran off. “Happy hunting mate!” just don't become another Mr Peanuts, I won't be able to cook so much cookies! “Oh right, it's Testing Time!” or play around with new toys. And I know just such targets, there should be enough templars, priests and other zealots somewhere in the temple or around the place with a lot of biomaterial, I mean sacrifices, fleshlings, whatever. Maybe try on those weaklings? Would be fun I guess, though in either case those would be too weak, yeah I know, arrogant pricks are the first to fall, but chances for someone strong enough to be in this place are rather low, and I mean it. Though there was saying 'if some shit might happen, it'll happen.' With such thoughts I flew towards my destination, when suddenly, well not really, but still rather unexpected, some prick threw a spear at me, made of light by the way.

“I will destroy you demon! For your transgressions against humanity and the Goddess of Light I Baltazar von-” RIP OFF!!! “- Kullingus-” pfttt... “Will deliver the justice!”

“Pft... Ha-ha-ha... dude, seriously? What a lame name... I mean family name, say who were your ancestors?” I think he has troubles with anger management, as he threw another [Light Spear]. I just used [Light Shield] against this spear, and it shattered, then threw my own at him. “Now traitor... care to explain why would I, the creature of light, be considered demon?” if it were some sort of anime or manga, he would have question marks floating around him.

“Why? You massacre innocent-”

“You humans are not innocent! You betrayed the Light! Instead of living in peace with angels, you decided to usurp the power, tainted the holy teachings, betray your allies and finish it with genocide of angels! You are monsters, and I will-” and he started running at me, throwing those spears. Seriously, can't he use something else?

“You liar! The Goddess-”

“It's just a spirit, albeit strong one. Anyway [Light Ray]” to those who curious, it's similar to laser, only white in color. And just like proper laser, it cut through his armor like hot knife through butter, severing his leg in process. “And she is just a useless ball of energy. She never even intended to show you true power of light magic. But neither would I show it.” Damn, I sound like a wannabe villain! Oh well, let's finish it up in pincushion style. After I casted few dozens light spears and embeding them into that sack of meat, I remembered that I planned on using my throwing sword! “Um... you alive dude?” seems like not. Let's behead him just in case, but here's the thing, this sword couldn't even put a scratch on him, so I took simple kitchen knife and punctured his neck, and what a surprise, kitchen knife is much stronger in melee, than this piece of divine shit. Well, the description said that this Expcalibur is 'unwieldy in close combat', maybe it means that damage is 0? Doesn't matter really.

“Okay, let's throw this sword at someone next.” I noticed few hidden dummies, so I threw the sword at them, to my surprise this sword punctured the wall, and human behind it, and afterwards it returned to me. “Nice! Let's check damage.” the damage was pierced heart, puncture in the wall the size of sword, and no dust whatsoever. Cool sword, but I will probably give it to Garrus, he is supposed to have fetsih for big swords, and so it should be OK if it's big throwing knife. “Oh yes, forgot about my goal. Ha-ah... Need to create garden...”

It'll be a long day...