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Hero? I'm assassin, but that's the same right?
Chapter 13. Bandits, Nobles, Monsters and Pyro.

Chapter 13. Bandits, Nobles, Monsters and Pyro.

Pyro POV

So... I am going on the hunt. Oh and I ate some Orc ribs... let's say the taste is similar to pork, but... let's say that there was a long-pork, and it also tasted like pork, with slight beef notes... I am talking about humans... Read some history books will you? Wait who do I talk to anyway? Oh right so I am going on a hunt. Bandits, Monsters... That sort of stuff... Oh and the current quest is bandit subjugation, with quite good rewards.

Hey dude... care to talk about what happened?

What happened?

I mean the time you were in the academy. Why did you tell them about the incident?

Hey if they think I told them that, so now they think I am not good with restricting myself, so no one will ask me to protect something... besides it's not that bad... I mean they don't care about citizens anyway.

Oh brother... You must understand that telling them that means you become a suspect.

Nope, it means that I'm an airhead. They would think that I do whatever I want, so better to ignore me.

… Why am I worrying about you anyway?

Dunno, so don't worry. BEE HAPPY, STING THEM IN DA FACE!!!

So... I am going to the bandit lair...

Narrator POV

Blood throats. The group of quite notorious bandits in the kingdom. They are known for their cruelty and hunting for adventurers. Usually they post some quests for bandit subjugation as some farmers, that found some place where bandits located, it got verified by crown and then some adventurers will be assigned for the mission. Most of the time the Blood Throats will kill adventurers and steal their gear, or sell them into slavery. Usually they are operating far from capital, but this time they got a curious information.

Bandit Leader: “Listen here lads! We got info on the heroes. There are eleven of them. Three females and eight males they will surely come when we kill the adventurers, and then we will capture them and sell them on black market. They should fetch quite a price. Anyway the informant told us that the quest was taken, so be ready to fight some B-rankers.” Such speech was accompanied by cheers from the rest of the bandits. Little did they know about the one who comes to them.

Twenty kilometers from their location one particular creature moved to the bandit lair singing some cheerful song.

Pyro: “Once upon an olden times, humans were strong. Once upon an olden times, bandits were born. Once those bandits moved on times, mafia was born. Now I'm stalking humankind in case some more will come. Not that bad, but... I need a bard... I need to learn some cute songs about slaughter...” This is Pyro. Being as eager as ever for the slaughter he planned his game with the bandits, when he comes to them. “Okay, so... I need to infiltrate the compound, block exits, and kill them... maybe just cover everything in ice? Hmm... yes... will do... and act as... ku-ku-ku... Will be fun...” as usual his plans considered of slaughtering everything he can... and stealing stuff. Not necessary in that order. “Huh? I can sense something... Yep! It's a bear! I will hunt it down before the bandits!” and so he started his hunt on the bear.

Meanwhile in the castle King learned about the Pyro, or Kuro considering that Pyro never told anyone his real name. The thing he learned gave him goosebumps.

King: “You mean... he fought some robbers... and couldn't control his magic?”

Ozelot: “Yes. But in two days he learned to control it. It means he's a genius! He could make so much advancements in magic!” Ozelot was as usual ecstatic about the possibilities of magical research. He was always not right in the head when it came to magic and magic theory.

King: “Let me get it right... he... the hero... couldn't care less about his mistake?”

Ozelot: “Hey! He's new to this world, and no offense old friend, but you are not that easy to talk. And being a hero has some strain on his mind.”

King: “Why do you protect him? Not that I would punish him anyway... and he came with an idea to improve the life of citizens... and prevent the fires...”

Ozelot: “He did? Wait you mean that 'plumbing' the heroes talk about?”

King: “Yes...”

Ozelot: “Anyway I want him to be taught every magic spell we know, even the ones you have.”

King: “We will need to teach them all. Not like we can win against demons without the heroes. And they are still quite weak. And the time is short.”

As the king and director of academy talked, the Pyro was hunting the bear. It was quite simple hunt. Bow, arrows and blinking through treetops. But soon he noticed some more creatures.

Pyro: “Huh? Wolves? Gah! Bastards! I want to hunt a bear... oh well I will hunt you later big guy.” And so the Pyro had gone to hunt the wolves. He could have fought bear, but if he did it, then the wolves would run away. If something can kill the bear, then wolves would surely be more wary, not like the bear who is alone. Who in his right mind would attack old man of the forest? Pyro doesn't count.

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And so the hunt on wolves started. At first the wolves thought of some stupid human who got himself stranded in the forest, so they decided to move around him, as he was on their territory, but once they saw him... their instincts kicked in. No human can wander the forest with such carefree attitude, and the human reeked of death. Well wolves were mostly terrified of his smell than anything. So after they saw it the wolves ran.

Pyro: “Stupid mutts! And why would you run away? Here is human! Stranded in the forest! And you morons decided to ignore me! Screw the hunt!” with such words the shadows of the wolves came to life, and restrained them. Wolves were terrified, they growled and howled, but to no awail. Other wolves were in the same position as themselves. And soon the wolves were killed... and stored into the inventory.

Pyro: “Fuck you! You spoiled my hunt! Anyway let's go for the bear!” and so getting back his bow and quiver, Pyro moved to the bear location. The bear was peacefully drinking water from nearby creek. And Pyro was quite careful to not disturb it. Getting the shot ready he executed it to the bear's neck. Unfortunately the shot was not that good. True, it punctured the neck, and blood flush out of it, but it wasn't an insta kill. Bear started running, but was shot in the rear paw, before being killed by the sword to his neck.

Pyro: “Hm... no clean kills today... need to upgrade my equipment...” was the thoughts of assassin, before he moved on to the mission.

Bandit fort. Well it was considered as such, because the Pyro (Just like the author) was lazy and didn't want to name it. Besides not like it would be standing for long anyway.

First Pyro scouted the place with [Sonar] and found quite a lot of bandits scattered around the fort, so he decided to wait till night, and use his Darkness and Shadow magic for the infiltration.

Meanwhile... the bandits were agitated. They were waiting for the adventurers to arrive any minute now, but... there were none. Not like all of them were agitated in the first place, but not being able to drink or play cards was annoying to say the least.

Bandit 1: “Hey do you think they will be here soon?”

Bandit 2: “They better be or I will kill them slowly.”

Bandit 3: “Not like you would be fast either way”

All bandits: “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Bandits... the sentient creatures that chose the way of pillaging, stealing, raping etc. Either because of being bored or the life style. Bandits were actively hunted by the kingdom, but they were not always successful capturing them. Usually bandits had some agreements with nobles. Nobles don't actively pressure them, for it bandits will be sending them some protection money, some captured slaves and in some cases act as mercenaries or attack lands of some other noble. But in case of the bandits growing arrogant nobles would kill them, or at least try to. Difference between noble and a bandit can be explained quite simply. Bandits steal, pillage and so on, while nobles only take whatever they want, while bandits do it 'illegally' nobles do it 'legally'. So actually not so much difference between them.

While the bandits laughed, the air temperature slowly become cooler.

Bandit 6: “Hey, is it me, or it's getting colder?”

Bandit 9: “Ah it's the night coming. Add some logs to fire will ya?”

As the bandits lazily moved around, the shadow quickly came into the lair.

After an hour of scouting shadow, or Pyro, moved back to the forest to complete his plan.

Pyro: 'So... there are almost a hundred of those pricks, and judging by their equipment they are quite good at it... not like they can survive my game...'

Pyro was thinking on a way to kill them all, and while he thought about it... he decided to go with the original plan, albeit slightly modified.

Bandit leader was woken up by some unnatural cold. The fire was burning, but the cold was there. So he gone to add some logs there, that's when some strange voices started coming from the entrance.

“Itsy-bitsy spider stalks you in the night.-”

Bandit Leader: “Who's there? Hey lads we got company! Arm your lazy asses and meet the bastards! Let us give them some 'warm' welcome!”

Bandits: “Aye!”

“It doesn't got a friend, but you'll be one, right?”

BL: “Aye! We'll be your 'friends'! Ha-ha-ha!”

“Itsy-bitsy spider knifes you in the back.” and one of the bandits was consumed by darkness, before leaving only headless corpse.

“For no one ever talks, 'bout him behind his back.”

Bandit 23: “Fuck! He got Jerry!” and he soon screamed before dying.

“Itsy-bitsy spider eats your innards fresh.” And soon more bandits started dropping dead.

Bandit 44: “Boss! He strikes from the shadows! We must go to the fire-” and he was dropped dead.

“He could have had them cooked, though he prefers raw flesh.” and the fire was extinguished. That caused even more panic among the remained bandits.

Bandit 99: “BOSS!!! I CAN'T SEE A SHIT!!!” and only few more bandits remained

“Itsy-bitsy spider scarier than death.”

BL: “FUCK!!! SHOW YOURSELF!!!” all other bandits were already dead, and only the bandit leader remained. Soon the voice was coming closer and it lit up in the blue glow.

“For you will be still breathing, while he eats your flesh.”

Last thing the bandit leader knew was the figure of four-legged creature with sharp claws, skinning him alive before he passed out.

“-Easygoing spider, of untimely death-”

Soon the bandit leader was awake.

“So little bandit, do you want to talk?”

BL: “WHAT THE FUCK ARE- WAAGH!!!” and he felt like the skin was skewered from his arm.

“Little bandit talks, though wrong the things he talks.”

BL: “What do you want?” it was a wise choice, considering the situation he was in.

“I just want to eat, the one who call you friend.”

BL: “What do you- ARGHHH!!!” he was now left with only one eye.

“He's the one, who given me the quest.”

BL: “FUCK!!! YOU'RE NO B-RANK! FUUUCK!!!” now the leg was skinned.

“Listen here human, I want to eat your friend.”

BL: “FUCK I DON'T KNOW!!! HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE SLUMS!!!”

“Good little bandit, you will tell me more.”

BL: “HE- HE CALLS HIMSELF RAT!”

“But someone else, did tell you something, no?”

BL: “YES! WE WERE CONTACTED BY NOBLE!!! I DON'T KNOW WHO! IT WAS JUST THE SERVANT!”

“Don't worry little bandit, I will kill him too.” and with such words the last bandit was killed.

Pyro: “Heh... it was actually quite fun... need to repeat it again some time...”

And so the bandit menace walked back to the city, while singing

“Itsy-bitsy spider stalks you in the night.

It doesn't got a friend, but you'll be one, right?

Itsy-bitsy spider knifes you in the back.

For no one ever talks, 'bout him behind his back.

Itsy-bitsy spider eats your innards fresh.

He could have had them cooked, though he prefers raw flesh.

Itsy-bitsy spider scarier than death.

For you will be still breathing, while he eats your flesh.

-Easygoing spider, of untimely death-”