Pyro POV.

Well, I have good new and bad news. Good news are that traveling by horse was faster by almost three days. Bad news are... I wasn't paid for quest. Well for the bloodroot one, not for the wolves, as wolves are numerous and are in need of thinning their numbers to more manageable. Well not like I had bloodroot on me anyway. Oh and Linda was registered as adventurer, and we were now going shopping, equipment mostly though.

“Where are we going Arthur?” oh and my name in this form is Arthur. Arthur Pendragon to be precise.

“Shopping! Well sort of. We need to get you proper equipment, spare clothes and some stuff for health salves.” well I got all the ingredients for them, but she doesn't need to know about it, right?

“By proper you mean?”

“You will be an archer, so that means bows, armor, daggers and a spear.” unlike me who has every type of weapon in [Inventory] she has to be more or less prepared for everything. Also I changed armor from leather one to plated leather, and now I look like one old vampire hunter, only thing I need to complete the set is a hat, but I dislike them, prefer hoods and masks, or full helmets. However some hats go good with pistols...

“You're spacing out. Again.” (Linda)

“Nah, it's just I remembered something good, or not, that depends.” And so we've started our shopping. Which was quite annoying.

First it was some armor shop, where Linda was putting on different kinds of armor. That was for almost four hours! Four hours of walking around shops to get her an armor! Even I choose armor after an hour at most. By the way I got myself nice shoulder pads, not like I need them though. Next was weapons, unfortunately here Linda spent even more time, so we decided to continue shopping spree next day. Now we were walking to the 'Bloated Horse' inn, don't bother with naming sense.

Now it was night and I decided to check the quest I accidentally got when I unleashed plague on the previous settlement.

Chaotic Retribution. (Chaos)

The heretics from church of light can't fathom the glory of randomness. They banned gambling, beergolf and toasts for the winning. Show them the glory of Random!

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Randomly spread disease, famine, fire and whatnot throughout the Holy Kingdom of Millis.

Reward 1 Unique and 1 Epic Token.

(Note that I liked your idea about renaming this country in Milfs, but it was banned on our little meeting.)

And

Unholy Kingdom.

(Quest given by current handler of Light Spirit)

The Partriarch Michael is a moron, racist, torturer, rapist, pedo and whatnot. Kill and convert him to simpleminded skeleton.

Reward 1 Epic token. Gain one minor favor from System. Gain one set of Heavy Defensive armor of uncommon quality.

(Psst. She banned it.)

Well about previous settlement... it was an accident. Who knew that blobbrass, that's fish by the way, was poisonous if killed? Well now I know it, so this time I'm going to change the water supply of this city to that of fire water. Not now though, not now.

***

Next day was no better. More shopping, more annoying shopping. Who picks weapon by color? No really, I understand if you want some sweet paintjob on your tank, but pink spear? Seriously? And don't get me started on the arrows. In any case it was almost eight more hours of shopping, only to find 'right colour~' thingie. Bah! Some of you would ask me why haven't I killed her, well reason is simple, it's actually my fault, one small harmless phrase 'take whatever you like' followed by other 'take your time' can bring the hell on your doorstep or heels.

Anyway with the necessary shopping over, we got our first job, which is just some hunting. Annoying wolf subjugation, annoying questions about 'how to wield your bow' as well as 'why do we have to kill puppies'. If not for intriguing job I would just kill her and be done with it. Would it be possible to recreate life... somehow I have the urge to experiment on it.

“-And why can't I have-” (Linda)

“ENOUGH!!!” I am now really pissed off...

*

Linda POV

Looking at this idiot I wondered when would he finally snap. It should have been long ago, considering his attitude, but can't say it was welcome, though it must've been done, or he would snap in the most unfortunate time.

As usual I acted like a spoiled child, good thing that I was like that, until I became a prey for some slavers, fucking human vermin, can't live along with nature, they always need to corrupt, exterminate, enslave. I am ashamed of being half human, but from what I heard from Arthur he hates them even more.

“Hey Arthur-” that's bad, really bad.

“OH JUST SHUT UP FLESHLING!!!” fleshling? What the-

That moron sprouted his wings and flew in the air. I can't believe it! He can actually fly! Well considering he has wings he should be able to fly, but it's still surprising. But “It's not polite to leave maiden in the middle of a forest!” moron.