Pyro POV
Hey kids Pyro's here at last!
Right... who are you talking to anyway? There are only two more 'creatures' that hear you.
Seriously? And what about Mr Doodleshmirtz?
Who?
You know that strange fella who's always singing?
You need to see a psychiatrist.
You think they have them in this world? It's not some Los Santos dude, or Hollywood nor it's frigging America! They don't have dreams! No maybe they might, but you won't see people coming here to live their dream, only some war refugees, but even then I suppose they would be moving somewhere else.
Hey don't disrespect those crazies! They made McDonald's, though the dude legally stole it from some other dude.
Hey he was a human, so no surprise here... wait a minute. Why am I talking to you about that?
Dunno. Maybe it's cause you are now bored and don't wanna listen to that fatty over there while we traveling?
Oh yeah, but can you elaborate on where are we going? I forgot about that stuff...
City, or more like town, of Krustomp. There is supposed to be some sort of monster subjugation. King told you about it, don't you remember?
Seriously? Now that you mention it, I think I heard something, but he has such annoying voice, so I ignore him most of the time.
Anyway the monster is supposed to be demonic wolf, and it's pack, but it could be something else.
Yeah, right. Anyway seeing as we will be going there I will-
Ken: “Hello Kuro.”
Pyro: “Ken? Hello? What do you want?”
Ken: “I thought that maybe you can tell me about your world with those robots and-”
Pyro: “Nah, later. After the mission, OK? I already have a lot of stuff to do, namely don't freak out from the idiocy of the morons who gathered intel on the monster we will face.”
BDL: “They say it's just wolf, no? Demonic wolf, but still a wolf. It may be corrupted by miasma, but surely it's not that strong, seeing as the mission is supposed to be only an A rank.”
Pyro: “Yeah, and why would they ask for US? Not like I don't appreciate good exercise once in a while, but fighting something like that only after a few weeks... wait I guess it's already months... anyway fighting something like that now is bound to have some sort of problems.” and of course the old JJ is here too.
JJ: “We are HEROES! We are unstoppable! The gods are surely-” and he was smacked by BDL... if she would be his childhood friend I would call it cliché, but them being from different timelines and dimensions this shouldn't be the case. No really that is too similar to 'childhood friend gone romantic' route.
BDL: “ Shut up idiot. You always talk about what's it supposed to be, we are undefeatable, or some other idiocy. It's always 'you' who is supposed to be 'great hero', but you got your ass handled by Kuro, and he's not acting cocky like you!” and another rounds of fan smacking...*sigh*
Ken: “So how goes the experiment with ice-cream?”
Pyro: “Fine. I finally don't freeze the entire room while trying to make ice.” yep they are staring at me. “What?”
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Girl 2: “You froze the room while trying to make ice-cream?” I didn't say that.
Pyro: “Ice. I tried to make ICE! Ice-cream is for later. I still need to get the recipe right. I haven't made it in a while.” Um actually I only made it once, but the dude that tasted it died. My target was some sort of gourmand and liked only natural stuff. He died from the poison in my ice-cream. It was a slow acting one, but besides it I added some poppy extract there. It's tasteless, but in high doses it makes person sleepy. He never saw it coming. Actually he died of infarct. Good stuff I cooked at that time. Need to start the production once again. Oh and join some assassin group.
Girl 2: “Still you know how to do it, so you better start making the-”
Pyro: “Yeah, got it. You could try yourself you know? Being a girl and all tha-” here comes the fan, which I dodged of course. “-that. Hey why do you try to hit me?” and again. “Seriously? Most of the time it's women who supposed to make sweets for men, not the other-” again, but now the other one joined the fray. “- way around. Come on!” and so my game of 'dodge the fan' started, or continued.
Girls 1&2: “STAND STILL!!!”
Pyro: “What's the fun in that?” at least it's not that boring. Oh and other guys look at this like a lover's quarrel. Yep it's fun and all, but why do you have such envious looks?
Ken: “Oh... tsundere twins route?” and he was smacked by the tiger-kin woman. “Kleo? What was that for?” hu-hu-hu... 'onee-sama' claims YOU!
Kleo: “Don't you ever think of it.” poor Ken. No little sister route for you. Not like you were trying for it though.
Pyro: “Ow, lovey-dovey couple. Could you mate later please?” and that's what caused both of them to blush. Wish Souris would be more... wait a minute. I don't have any-
Relax. It's just some idiot making a-
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*Annoying Elevator Music*
We will be back after we fix fourth wall
*Annoying Elevator Music*
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Well... that was strange. Anyway we are finally near the Krustomp town, city or whatever it's called. First thing is to get settled and-
Ken: “What do you mean the slaves must stay in stables?” yep. Fucking racists. No I don't say that it's bad, you can complain all you want and all that, but never use your power, if you have any, to make the lives of others miserable. If you don't like someone just kill that moron and be done with it.
Receptionist or something: “No demi-humans allowed in this place, if you-” um... let's play angry customer... with FLAMING personality.
Pyro: “Listen here, it's either you do your job, or you lose it.”
RoS: “And? Some stupid punk-” … did she just called me punk?
Pyro: “Punk? PUNK?!” let's burn this shithole! First let's burn the face of this bitch, then burn the rest of her body, start throwing flames wherever I want and start yelling “FUCKING BASTARDS!!!” and “PIGS!!!” accompanying by burning and dissecting the morons. Hey they are like free experience. Oh and I am training the fire manipulation and affinity.
Ken: “Kuro! What are you doing?”
Pyro: “Uh... Ken?” let's look around like we don't understand what's going on. “Um... why is this place burning?” I think I see question marks on everyone's faces. “What?”
JJ: “The innkeeper called you punk-” and punch him in the face.
Pyro: “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALLED ME?!”
BDL: “Hey! Easy there Kuro! He didn't call you anything, it was that lady, now I think corpse of a lady, there.”
Pyro: “WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH?!” yep. Fun.
Ken: “She's dead. You killed her.”
Pyro: “... wait... who did I kill?”
Ken: “Innkeeper. She called you-” and he was silenced by Kleo.
Kleo: “Innkeeper disrespected you, and you became quite angry.” YES! That's the reason.
Pyro: “OK. I guess she used one of the few forbidden words, while addressing me.”
JJ: “Like pu-” and he was also smacked, but this time by all girls.
Girl group: “SHUT UP!”
Pyro: “Yeah, well. I think my anger management is lacking. Too bad my psychiatrist is not here.” I haven't had one in the first place anyway.
Ken: “Say, is it an issue?”
Pyro: “No, not really. I think it started after mauling some officer which, decided that mixing soldiers with dirt will make them more determined to overcame obstacles. He wasn't completely wrong though, but disrespecting me was bad idea.”
BDL: “Yes, I see.” You don't see anything! “I think that your anger issues became less controllable after contact with magic.”
Pyro: “I guess?”
Ken: “Maybe your fire affinity influences your thoughts?” Nope!
Pyro: “Dunno. Maybe we should ask Ozelot about it.”
JJ: “*Groans* Why did you hit me so hard?”
Girl group: “Shut up moron.”
Pyro: “To the matters at hand... where would we stay? It seems that this place is not working.” Oh come on! I already said it's my anger issues. Blame the innkeeper!
BDL: “It's better if you leave the talking to me. I don't want to sleep outside.”
Pyro: “What about this place by the way?”
Guard: “Mayor will take care of it.”
Pyro: “Cool... hey why don't we drop at mayor's?”
Girl Group: “HE'S OLD PERVERT!!!” oh right... forgot about that.