LEUKAS

I could feel it when Aleks came back from the shower she'd insisted on taking as soon as she'd gotten up from the couch and I gave Elena and Harpah, both of whom had been asleep in Harpah’s bed in the main house where Kim had been babysitting them for the night. The girls were cuddled together on the big bed, looking extraordinarily like twins as they slept the night away peacefully. I had reached a point where I couldn't imagine ever sleeping without making sure my children were okay and kissing them so after making sure Aleks could stand on her own in the shower, I had made my way through the quite house in search of them. Adrian was asleep in the room next door and I had already given him a kiss too before making my way to the girls.

After a final quite goodnight, I rose from my chair and looked at Aleks who was leaning at the door, exhaustedly watching the kids and smiling softly. Her inky hair fell loosely across her back in wet rivulets while the rest of her body was covered in a thick, short gown with some slippers on her feet. Her complexion was pasty and there were bags on her eyes that spoke of an exhaustion that hadn't been there before tonight and I immediately walked to her and helped her out of the room with my arm around her waist.

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly as she leaned into me, her eyes closing briefly as I led her towards the guest rooms. There was no point in taking her to the bungalow since the kids were in the main house and there were many spare rooms she could use.

“I’m fine. Just a bit exhausted and ….shaken. It’s not every day you get trapped inside a room with a feral…creature.” She said with a weak laugh, surprising me with honesty even though I was sure it was because she was too tired to filter her words.

I led her into the room she'd taken her shower in; the one next to the one Adrian was sleeping in and began leading her to the bed when she weakly stopped me.

“Hair…. Need to comb and tie…tangles…” She murmured even as she clung harder onto me. I detoured to the dressing table, grabbed a brush and led her to a chair in front of the mirror. Her back was leaning onto my front as I gently ran the brush through the long, moist locks, humming sounds emerging from within her. The action was comforting to me to and I couldn't help but speak.

“It's not what you think.” I said to her, watching through the mirror as her eyes met mine.

“Hmmm?”

I sighed as ran my hands through her hair which looked so strange in black but also right, my mind recalling the guilt and the horror on her expression right after we’d had sex. At that point I hadn’t been thinking clearly enough because I had crushed hard after the sex. All the feelings I’d had; the insane lust, the cravings, the manic happiness and the connection to my inner beast had crushed and burned as soon as I’d sunken into her. All of a sudden everything was quite and calm within me. It hadn’t been that way in years because no matter how much control I had, the shadohs constantly buzzed within me, their presence and noise filling my head to the point that I didn’t notice how quite it used to be. And then when my cock had entered Aleks, all the shadohs had scattered as if scared; had retreated from their constant spot in my mind, leaving me to deal with the all encompassing feeling of being surrounded by Aleks' heat on my on. It hadn't been that way when we'd had sex all those years ago.

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It had been scary, and exhilarating, and confusing, and wonderful and wrong and so fucking beautiful that as soon as I emptied inside of her, I’d barely strung together two words before fleeing from her and the insane experience of being with her. It was two days before I felt the noise in my head return and I was almost relieved to feel it again.

Shaking my head to dispel my thoughts, I focused on the task on hand and worked to free her from her guilt. “ Lycans can sometimes view marriage in a way that's different from humans. When they grow up, their animal instincts tend to overpower the human ones and the original familial tethers that hold the younger lycans at bay don't work as well anymore. Mating with someone else forms a bond which strengthens the tether to humanity. Sometimes some lycans can fall in love and form a love bond with their spouse; a bond that is unbreakable and eternal, but for some people who aren't interested in such bonds and long term relationships; there’s a commitment bond. It tethers the lycans together but more flexibly and casually. It's just like a marriage of convenience between two people, no feelings involved just a satisfaction of a similar need. That's the only thing between Fletcher and I. I didn't…can't cheat on her because our relationship is open and definitely not romantic.” I explained. Aleksander’s eyes were closed when I finished talking but I knew from her breathing that she wasn't.

I had put the brush down and began braiding her hair when she spoke. “What if you think it’s casual but Fletcher’s feelings go deeper? What if you'll be actually hurting her throughout the relationship?” she asked, her eyes still closed but her voice sounding stronger and more awake.

“For this particular bond to form, there has to be an absence of romantic feelings. We went through the bond taking a while back and it wouldn't have formed if Fletcher and I weren't in the same page.”

“So you've already …bonded with her?” She asked after another brief contemplative silence.

“Partly. The bond completes when we….when we get married.”

“So what if…what if either of you falls in love? What if you fall in love with someone else?” she asked quietly, her eyes meeting mine on the mirror, their green a dim but still lovely shade that took hold of me even through the glass. I looked away from her eyes and finished her braid.

“I can't.....it's....I won't ever let myself.” I finally responded, reaching a hand out towards her in an offer to help her up. I was relieved when she took it and gave me a smile. Aleks and I would be okay, and only as friends.