LEUKAS

My kids smelled like my wolf, at least how I remembered it, and their mother, a smell that I was so strange and new but somehow so familiar and right. Somehow it got realer for me when I scented myself on them; how I was a father. I had kids I could spend all the money I had made on. I had lives which may come to depend on my opinion; I had people who would have some expectations and hopes laying on me. It was bittersweet.

On one hand, I was excited. I had never really thought about having kids, not when everything regarding my personal and family life was basically in an awkward state. Carrying lycan children was also not something that was exactly easy to do, especially not for a non-lycan, so it had always been at the back of my mind and I had gone through my life thinking there was only one percent chance that I would ever be able to impregnate anyone, especially considering the fact that I was far away from Abattohn. But here I was, a father, and it felt like there was nothing in my life, my life that had been filled with awards and recognition and achievements, that could rival my pride and joy and sense of achievement that I felt when I looked at my two children.

All those warm feelings were accompanied by a small sense of…fear. I was man enough to realize and accept my weaknesses, and I acknowledged that I had always been afraid of failure. It was why I left home. Because it reminded me of my biggest failures. When I failed to protect myself and the land that I was meant to lead and protect. When I lost the right and the ability to be Alpha, ruining my brother’s future and dreams in the process.

The thought that I could disappoint and let down my kids in that way scared me immensely. It had been such an experience putting my daughter to sleep. She was so beautiful, and amazing, and everything, and mine in a way that nothing had ever been. Her level of sweetness and kindness and understanding was so foreign to me especially in someone so young. I couldn’t help but begrudgingly respect and appreciate Aleks for raising such a wonderful child. It constantly surprised me that despite being so innocent and playful, my daughter was also as much a genius as every single Hyades is. Hearing her talk, and I had learnt even during the few times we had met that she could talk for ages, was so magical and it was amazing how she saw the world; in an imaginative but brilliant view. There was absolutely nothing in the world I looked forward to more than being in her life and being her dad forever.

Adrian had come back accompanied by one of the house guards with Harp nowhere to be seen, looking a bit flustered from, I assumed, Lanthe’s attention and dropped by Elena’s room to mumble out that Lanthe had thought it best Harp let them settle in for a while without sleepovers. I had been prepared for him to leave to his room without further acknowledging me and the slight awkwardness between us after he kissed his sister’s forehead and said goodnight but I was very pleased and surprised when he turned at the door and tentatively asked if I could read him a story too when I was done with Harpah. He was slightly less enthusiastic in his reaction to the story but I could tell that like me, my son had no imagination at all. Although he did not outright complain about my story of choice, I could tell that he did not did not appreciate the flying horses and the eternal friendships and the sliding on rainbows as much as Elena had. And by the little snide comments he threw in, I was starting to believe Harpah’s observation about my son being a smart alec. I couldn’t stop smiling even as he rolled his eyes at the ending and closed his eyes as I gave his forehead a tentative kiss. It was magnificent how two people could come from the same womb, could come from me, and be so different, but also both mean the world to me.

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The smile I carried from my first experience putting my kids to bed dimmed when I went back downstairs and found a freshly showered Aleks looking stunning seated on the couch with her hair in a messy bun, wearing short sleeping shorts and a well-worn, soft-looking t-shirt, her feet bare. She looked breathtaking but also soft and…sweet. She tensed briefly when she sensed my presence before visibly relaxing and turning to me, giving me a hesitant smile that inexplicably killed the slight tension that seemed to appear when we were within each other’s proximity. She stood and extended a hand towards the open kitchen.

“Tea?” she asked motioning towards the kitchen. I nodded trying to ignore the fact that even after all this time she seemed to remember that the severity of my sweet tooth refused to have anything to do with anything as naturally bitter as coffee.

I watched her as she boiled the water in the kettle before pouring it into the already laid out cups, adding some lemon juiced, two teaspoons of sugar and a dash of a honey before motioning me towards the couch and laying the cup in the saucer on the table as I sat down. We were silent while I took my first sips of what I weirdly felt like was the best tea I had had in a while.

The light that had previously flooded the whole house in a bright but not overwhelming orange had been dimmed down to a darker light. It made the room cozier than I would have liked. And the silence between us as Aleks sipped her own cup of coffee was too intimate for my liking.

“You’ll have to stay here for a while.” I blurted out before I sipped my drink trying to hide my immense annoyance. Even as a child I had never been one to blurt. Her shaky voice brought me out of my annoyance.

“Me too? Not just the kids? Because I don’t care where we have to stay. As long as I get to be…I get to be in their lives.” I could not deny the absolute sincerity and the slight pleading in her voice. There was no denying her love and devotion to our kids and I admired her for it.

I sighed as I placed the delicate china cup on top of the saucer. “No one here wants to take your…our kids away from you Aleks. I am not really pleased with you and how you handled all of this but I have no desire to separate a mother and her kids. There are a few decisions and technicalities to be completed by the council here before we can all move on. However, I would prefer that we work out the shared custody of the kids and everything that will legally tie me to them as much as you are. My lawyer is preparing all of my demands, reasonable demands, and she will get in contact with your lawyer, I believe that’s Lander?” at her hesitant nod I went on, “And when you go through them together and you’re ready to sign, we can discuss how we’ll make it work. Together.” I clarified, my voice firm and truthful. I might have felt betrayed and generally …angry and maybe upset by our whole situation but I did not hate Aleks. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I did.