CONT

I was lying on top of the bed, Fletcher’s small body tucked against me as we tuned the whole world out, doing nothing, both of us lost in our thoughts. It was just like the olden days when she and I were on the same direction in life. When things were simple and I knew where I was going and where I was going included me and her and perhaps little pups who looked like her and would grow up to be as pretty and sweet as she was, and perhaps get a few of my good qualities too. How it had all went so off course and so out of plan was a grim ad sad tale. My feelings on the disruption of those plans were becoming confusing.

During our primary and secondary school, Fletch and I weren’t exactly outcasts, but we did tend to drift off on our own little world of curiosity and desire to bring Abattohn into a country that exists beyond the walls that had long separated mortals from transcendental beings beyond some shady dealings involving some government officials. It had always been something that was important to us and we were naïve enough to believe that we could make it happen. We were always making all these plans on how we would bring all the preternatural race, even the ones beyond our lycan world, to see how much more liberal it was not to hide, not to keep ourselves so separate. I especially had written all these arguments down, convinced that I could be the one to show them, no matter what my dad said, to show everyone what could be. Now the thought brought a lump of dread down my throat as I remembered the hatred and the fear I had seen in the eyes of the humans who were part of Marhtina’s cult, whose sole being was to rid the world of us. And it was all my fault that all those lycans and vampires and elves had died; every single one of their faces were etched on my face. Because of my stupid quest and dreams to make some kind of difference, I had led hundreds of people to their death, and I had to live with that forever.

Beyond my business endeavors, I tended to stay away from social media, but I had come across some people who described me as cold and aloof and sometimes a sociopath. Sometimes I wished I was all that, that I didn’t battle all these demons and work so hard not to feel lest I feel something that may spell the end of my world as I knew it. I wished that it wasn’t simply an armor that I wore so well. I wish I was that guy. But I wasn’t, and I had accepted it. Mostly. Maybe it was why I had accepted Fletcher’s proposal for marriage. It wasn’t like I had had any prospects anyway, but a chance to be with Fletcher was a chance to have a smidgen of my life back. A chance to have a little association with the world I had left in disgrace. A chance to not be so alone. But just as I had been getting comfortable with the idea of starting a life with a woman I had once had so many feelings for but now only felt nostalgic and regretful in her presence, Aleks came along with a few bombshells attached. Despite the anger and the regret that I felt, I was truly looking forward to this new path that had been thrown my way, a path I had thought wasn’t in the cards for me anymore. The path of fatherhood. Being a parent to two beautiful individuals who would grow to depend on me as much as on their mother. It was humbling. I just wasn’t sure how to reconcile the new path my life seemed to be taking with the old path that I had forged.

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I also worried about my pending talk with Aleksander. I was scared of what she’d reveal. I was scared of how I would take whatever she revealed. And I was scared of both my options; to stay angry at her or not to. On one hand, staying angry at her put her at a distance I had learnt to live with. It separated our lives and it kept me safe from facing some other crashing disappointment as her hand. But I also missed her so much I was almost sick with it. I missed our banter, our camaraderie, our flirting and just existing in a world with her in it. Aleks had showed me that I could have some semblance of happiness without Pack, and I wanted it once again. I wanted it so much it scared me. A vision of myself feeling the intense zap the moment she touched me last night tried to break through my mind but I pushed it back. I simply couldn’t begin to worry about that as well. Not right now.

“She’s very beautiful.” Fletcher said, her voice pulling me out of my reverie. Her words were soft and cautious. Waiting. I didn’t have to ask who we were talking about.

“She is.” I responded. Because she really was.

“Her hair…it’s not…she’s not a mere mortal.” She said firmly, as if reassuring herself of something. I sighed. I could see why she would think that, but I was sure that Aleks was mostly human and if she had any celestial DNA, which was pretty usual for the common man since there were quite a few supernatural beings dispersed all over the world, whatever else she was very dormant and it was likely Aleks knew nothing of it. I wouldn’t be the one to ever bring it up with her or anyone else. The less I had to do with anything supernatural, the quicker I moved on with my new mortal life. Something must have showed in my expression because Fletcher smiled at me weakly and dropped the particular subject after reaching for and clutching my hand firmly.

“So…how did…uhmm…where did you guys meet?” She asked hesitantly as she pulled away from my arms and put some distance between us so that we were staring at each other, our faces level.

“Fletcher, I don’t want to talk about that. Not right now.” I sighed, willing myself not to think about where we met. How the hell would I even explain that meeting?

“Aright. That’s fine.” We were both silent for a while and my thoughts drifted to my kids. Atlas had left soon after Aleks, not before telling me that Elena and Adrian were having a blast and that Elena had promised to come see me afterwards. I assumed and hoped Adrian would be coming too and the thought of having both of them in my arms again made me warm and happy inside. I had drifted off to making plans and arrangements to accommodate the twin when Fletcher spoke again.

“Do you still have feelings for her? Truthfully.” She asked looking me straight in the eyes. I met her stare head on when I responded.

“I don’t know. Regardless, nothing has changed and I’m still marrying you and that’s all that matters.” Her breath of relief was audible and when she crawled on top of me, hesitantly kissing m on the lips, I kissed her back steadily.