ALEKS

Things were going well in almost every aspect of our lives in Abattohn. The kids had never been happier and they had effortlessly fit into their new life and family with a joy and grace that astounded me. They loved their new school, their new friends, and especially their new family, mostly their dad. They'd grown so close to him now that even Adrian who had been determined to call Leukas by his name had dropped it and began using ‘dad'. Leukas had never made an effort to hide his joy when he heard those words from both his children. They also loved the frequent parties and pack activities that happened in Abattohn, and would participate in most of the events with unbridled excitement and joy. I constantly worried about how I’d even drag them out of Abattohn as soon as everything pending for their coronation was finalized.

I was happy too, for the most part. For one, I missed Lander dearly and it was a hard adjustment not having him in my life, and the time differences made it difficult to have meaningful conversations with him. I wanted to tell him about the life I found myself living in, my fears over losing it, how beautiful everything in the city was and how much I’d learnt since I got there, but I couldn't because of the NDAs I’d signed and because of the confusion in my heart.

I knew I loved Leukas, I was almost sure of it but I also didn't know how to go from there. Leukas had granted me more than I’d ever let myself expected; his forgiveness and his friendship, I had even stopped walking on eggshells around him and we could talk freely, and it wasn't right to be so greedy for more. It wasn’t right that I dreamt of us being a perfect family, a family not unlike the one Jason and Lanthe had made together. It wasn’t right that I daydreamed about him looking at me the very same way Jason looked at Lanthe; like she was everything to him and it wasn't okay that I envied Fletcher because she was so much better than me and would get all these things I wanted with Luk while all I got was stolen glances when he came to collect our children for his turn with them and friendly texts that would dwindle to nothing over time when he and Fletcher had a family of their own.

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I was starting the new job in two weeks and I had signed all the paperwork and prepared myself for all my duties. Those other thoughts had no place in my mind and I resolved to be satisfied with all I could get, accept that Leukas would only ever be my baby daddy, settle myself into work, focus on the friends I’d made and maybe start seeing someone for as long as I was in Abattohn. Everyone knew that Leukas and I weren't together and never would be so I would have no problem getting to know some other man. It wouldn't be a hardship, Leukas was obviously the most stunning of the men in Abattohn, but he wasn't the only gorgeous one, far from it. Maybe I would finally take Mikka up on her offer to go out and get laid.

In the meantime, though, the kids had gone out with their grandparents for the day and I baked away my stress and troubles in the million-dollar kitchen. When I was done, I looked through the impressive array of pastries, mentally cataloging whom I would give what and I began packing the goods into different containers. I knew Lanthe would love the red velvet cupcakes the most and Jason would eat the ones which were mixed with chocolate. Atlas was more of a cookie guy, just like all the kids while Kim and Luk loved brownies the most. The rest of the muffins and the shortcakes would go to Mikka and some of the staff.

Kim was visiting her older sister in Vegas for the week so I didn't factor her in, but everyone else wasn't available for one reason or the other. Except....I remembered Leukas telling me he would be working from home and I decided to go over with some brownies and hang out with him if he wasn't busy. It would be a perfectly friendly thing to do.

Since his and Atlas' bungalow was only a few minutes from ours, I was knocking on his door with a tin of fresh rocky road brownies in my hands in but a minute. My knock went un answered and I frowned wondering if he decided to leave and go to work somehow. There were some sounds going on in in the living room and I wondered if he'd left the television on so I made my way towards the side of the house that had the window that peeked into the living room. The windows were low enough that I could see into the house without having to stand on my tiptoes so I could see clearly into the pristine, almost clinical living room that Atlas and Leukas barely used, and I dropped the tin in shock as I tried to process what I was seeing.