For two days, Sarah grieved as Gersius did his best to comfort her and soothe away the pain. Thayle and Lilly were on hand as much as they could be while Sarah struggled with feelings she's never known before. They all shared it across the bind, and thankfully that gave Thayle enough insight to offer some help. She encouraged Sarah to speak about her feelings and try to articulate how she felt.
Sarah was reeling over the idea that Numidel, her friend from an age long passed, was gone. Until that moment, she hadn't realized how much he meant to her and how dear a friend he had become. She questioned why she would feel this now when it had never felt like this before.
Thayle explained that it was because of the bind and how she had embraced a wide range of emotions that it hurt so badly. Until her recent joining of the bind, she couldn't have understood or experienced the notion of friendship as profoundly.
Sarah was understanding but pointed out once again how she wished she could have told him. She recounted how many times Numidel tried to explain what she was missing. He spoke about his previous relationship and how deeply it had touched his heart. It all seemed like foolishness to Sarah at the time, but now that she felt love, it was all too real.
In the end, it was Gersius who she needed most, and he spent nearly a whole night holding her in his arms as she cried. It was a painful moment to see his wife so torn by remorse, but eventually, she calmed and fell asleep, giving him a moment to think.
Sarah no longer wanted to go east and help fight the invading army. For the first time in her life, she was afraid to be away from her family. She wanted to stay and protect them from the dangers that lurked beyond their borders. When Gersius insisted she was needed in the east, she implored them to come with her so she could keep them close. He deeply desired to go and stand by her side, but his presence on the battlefield would hinder Alayse. She was given command and needed the freedom to act. The sub-commanders would look to him for direction and slow response if he were there. He was also needed more urgently in the west, where the last of his armies was forming. Now that situations had changed, he had a plan to take the fighting to the enemy.
Now he stood on the garden terrace outside their bed chambers and looked over the city of Calathen under a blanket of stars. Thayle came to stand beside him as Lilly tucked Sarah away in bed after spending hours cuddling with her.
“She’s finally asleep,” Thayle sighed as she leaned against the rail.
“She has taken this wound very personally,” Gersius replied with a nod.
“I have never seen somebody so crippled by their grief,” Thayle said. “All these emotions are so new and raw to her. She has no defenses in place to fight something like grief and remorse.”
“She has known grief before,” Gersius corrected and reminded Thayle of how Sarah killed one of her daughters.
“Oh, that is true,” Thayle said with a nod. “But I still think she didn't have the emotional capacity to truly experience that. Now that she is bound to us, it has come on her like a mountain falling from the sky.”
Gersius nodded as Lilly came out of the room and, with a tired expression, came up behind Thayle to wrap her in a hug.
“I want Sarah to stop hurting,” Lilly said sadly.
“We all do, Sweetheart,” Thayle replied and held Lilly’s hands over her stomach.
“Why would somebody do this?” Lilly asked as she began to sway with Thayle.
“I have a theory about that,” Gersius said as his heart became heavy. Ever since the attack, he had been trying to figure out what it meant. One possibility was that Numidel stumbled on the northern army, but they had dragons of their own, and those dragons killed him to keep their location secret. This seemed the most logical explanation but for one odd fact. Ayawa’s report was very clear that the wounds were massive, much larger than even his own claws could make. A group of smaller dragons would have left dozens of small wounds, not a couple of massive ones.
“Do you plan to share your theory?” Thayle asked. “From what you're thinking about, you don't believe this was the result of the northern army.”
“No, I do not, Gersius agreed and turned to face his wives. “First, we have seen this before,” he said as he began to pace. “If you will recall, Alayse was attacked by a blue dragon who flew into the clouds and came out a moment later.”
“Oh right,” Thayle said as she remembered the report. “It fell from the skies trailing blood and already dead.”
“And it started snowing,” Gersius reminded and looked back to the room where Sarah lay sleeping. “Just like it did when Sarah and Numidel went into the dream.”
“Alright, but how is this related?” Thayle asked.
Gersius ran a hand through his wild hair as he turned to face his wives and explain what he thought was happening.
“I believe our enemy has an ancient and powerful dragon in his midst. This dragon was what killed the one flying over Alayse and very likely is the one who attacked Sarah and Numidel in the dream. Now, this dragon has killed Numidel not because he found the army, but to send us a message,” he said with a dire look to his eyes.
“What makes you think that?” Thayle asked as Lilly hugged tighter.
“Because we have humiliated our foes and cost them dearly. Our enemy believed they could rescue Lilly and took a great risk to accomplish it. Three of their members died for their efforts, and Lilly made them look like fools.” He paused to face Lilly directly and asked her to recount how she felt the warning sense once the enemy realized she would never join them.
“I felt very threatened,” Lilly agreed. “I know they won’t hesitate to kill me next time.”
“This is why I believe his death is a warning,” Gersius said and looked Sarah’s way with pity. “Our enemy was holding back while they worked obscure plans to undermine us. With their failure to turn Lilly, and the loss of three of their members, I believe they wanted to strike back. This was to show us that even our mightiest dragons are not safe.”
“They are trying to scare us,” Thayle agreed. “They probably know we are scouting the north and chose Numidel because he was an easy target being all alone.”
“Yes,” Gersius said and went on. “For this reason, I am calling off the scouting in the north. We will rely on the warning posts along the border instead. The Doan will likely make it into the empire, and we will have to deal with them then. However, I will not wait for them to get into position. I have drafted orders for Gams, and tomorrow at dawn, he attacks at three locations along the border.”
“What good will that do?” Thayle asked. “He doesn't have the strength to breakthrough.”
“No, but he can start bleeding them,” Gersius replied as he paced in anger. “He has the advantage of being able to charge out and retreat to the safety of his walls. The Doan will not be expecting a sudden offensive, and I am considering moving our central army west to make a proper push.”
“But who will defend the north when that missing army finally shows up?” Lilly asked in confusion.
“I am not worried about that just yet,” Gersius replied. “Ayawa's report shows they are not in the mountains or anywhere near its base. That means they must be much farther north, and given the difficulty of the terrain, I estimate they will need five weeks or more to reach our borders. In that time, I can crush one of the western armies and throw their plan into chaos.”
“But the army isn’t ready,” Thayle protested. “You stripped off the units that were to give them to Alayse. All you have left are a bunch of mixed units comprised of poorly trained and under-equipped soldiers.”
“I am aware of that, and I believe these constant threats from the south and east are part of their plan. They want me to spread my armies across all the borders, so I have no strength to mount an attack. Fortunately, we ended the wars in the south, and Sarah will help defeat the east,” he said and returned to looking over the city.
“Which doesn't change the fact that you don't have an army to go on the offensive with,” Thayle reminded.
Gersius looked up and let out a deep sigh. “I do have an army in place and ready to march. All I need to do is use those untrained soldiers to pull a ruse. I will march them west and use them to replace the veterans at the border keeps. Then I can use the veterans to form a powerful army to begin a major offensive.”
“But then the keeps will be easy to break,” Thayle pointed out.
“Yes, but we will be on the offensive,” Gersius corrected as he turned back to them. “The enemy shouldn't realize anything has changed and will believe they are still fully garrisoned. Any spies they use will see the walls bristling with men and regular patrols in the countryside. Meanwhile, they will be more worried about our army rampaging through their lines. I doubt they will even consider testing our defenses. So long as we keep them under pressure, they won't be able to go on the offensive.”
“This is all a big gamble,” Thayle said with apprehension in her voice. “Sarah is deeply wounded and about to leave for the east. She is terrified of not being at our side especially considering all three of us were recently abducted. How do you think she will react when she finds out you plan to attack west while she is gone?”
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“I have no choice,” Gersius replied. “I suspect our enemies do not plan to hold back any longer, and our opportunity to strike first is dwindling.”
“I think she’s right,” Lilly said as she released Thayle. She came to Gersius and laid her head on his shoulder while letting out a deep sigh. “I don't understand these things as well as you and Thayle, but I know our strength is in the bind. We are at our most powerful when we are together, and I hate the idea of Sarah being alone when she needs us so badly.”
“I hate it as well, but the enemy will not wait for us,” Gersius replied.
“And I am sure you are right about now being the time to attack. I bet you will surprise them by coming so soon and cause them devastating harm,” Lilly replied as she rubbed at his back. “But what happens when that third army shows up? Will you be able to disengage fast enough and travel halfway across the empire in time?
“I won't have to,” Gersius replied. “The battle against Whiteford will be over before then, and they can take up position as our northern army. Then, when the enemy does appear, they will find Alayse waiting for them.”
“You plan to move two armies across the breadth of the empire to fight two separate wars in just three weeks?” Thayle asked to be sure he understood just how little time he had. When he nodded, she also reminded him that Sarah's logistics program was barely started. The wood to make the wagons was still being cut, and it would be weeks before the first ones were ready.
“I know,” Gersius sighed. “We will have to rely on what the women of Ulustrah can grow in the field again.”
“You know that didn’t work well,” Thayle pointed out. “We need several days to grow that much food, and you won’t sit in one place that long. I am sure you will be even worse when you’re trying to keep up the momentum of your attack.”
“We will manage, and Sarah's labor teams will supplement us with wagons and fresh supplies as soon as they can,” Gersius insisted.
“There is no talking you out of this?” Thayle asked.
He knew that waiting any longer was playing into the hands of his enemies. He had the means to take the fight west and do significant damage to the enemy. When the third army did appear, it would be too late to change the outcome. He went to explain his point when Thayle looked away and held her stomach, complaining of pain.
“Let me heal you,” Lilly insisted and ran to Thayle's aid. She placed her hand over her wife's stomach and began to sing, but the golden glow didn't come.
“It’s like the headaches,” Lilly said and looked confused. “I don’t detect anything wrong.”
“It’s already passed,” Thayle said and looked up. “The pain only lasted a moment.”
“Maybe it is stress from the current situation,” Gersius offered as Thayle took a deep breath.
“Probably,” Thayle agreed. “The war has wounded our wife, cost us a dear friend, and now we plan to march in two directions into massive confrontations. Who could blame me for feeling a little discomfort.”
Gersius agreed that the next few days were going to be trying, and his attention would be divided among many tasks. He wished he could hold Sarah every night until her fears abated, but time would not allow it. Thayle read his thoughts and joined Lilly in providing comfort while assuring him he was a good man.
“This isn't what I wanted for us,” Gersius said as he stared out over the city.
“Please,” Thayle said and rubbed his arm. “I was there when you fell apart and thought about running away. I saw the pain in your aura when you admitted that all you wanted was to end the war so you could step down and start a family. We know you didn't desire to rule or be trapped by a duty to the people. But always remember, it was Lilly and I who encouraged you to go on and promised we would follow. We knew what following you meant for our lives,” Thayle said.
“And we are committed to following you to the end,” Lilly added and hugged tighter but began to wonder about the idea of duty and honor.
“Why are you thinking about that?” Gersius asked as he listened to her thoughts.
“I don’t know that I understand what they mean,” Lilly replied. “Like when you told me you would hand me over to another champion if your order demanded it. You and Ayawa told me that you had a duty to obey, but I loved you, and I don't understand why your duty would matter.”
Gersius nodded as Lilly looked at the problem from a very simplistic point of view. She was here because she loved them, not out of any sense of obligation to a greater cause. In truth, he was here for the same reasons, and it was to preserve this love he reunited the empire. Now she needed to understand what those things truly meant, so he tried his best to explain.
“Duty is something you are expected to do because of promises or commitments you have made. For example, you have a duty to your family as a wife and to Balisha as your goddess. In addition, you have a duty to the empire as an empress and to the members of your faith as its leader. In order to conduct yourself with honor, you must never neglect your duties.”
“So you brought me to Whiteford because you were bound by duty to do what the Father Abbot said,” Lilly surmised.
“That is a perfect example,” Gersius agreed.
“Then what is honor?” Lilly asked.
“Honor is more like a measure of your value both for yourself and how others see you. If you are honorable, that is another way to say you are trustworthy and will do what you say. If you make a promise, you will strive to keep it even under harsh circumstances. Your word and your oath are your law, and to break either brings dishonor on you. A dishonorable person is a scoundrel who cannot be trusted and whose life is often filled with deceit,” he replied.
“So if I make a promise, I should do everything I can to keep it?” Lilly asked.
“Everything you can,” Gersius agreed. “Remember how I promised I would never reveal your name. Though they tortured me for hours, I could not break that promise.”
“But what happens if one promise conflicts with another?” Lilly pressed.
“This is why you need to be careful about who you make a promise to and what you make it about,” Gersius replied. “When you find yourself in a situation where one promise has to trample another, you must decide which one is for the greater good. Sometimes you can find a way to work around the other promise, but you must never break it if you can avoid it.”
“What if one promise causes me to hurt another by breaking theirs?” Lilly asked.
Gersius nodded and looked over his shoulder to see Lilly's beautiful blue eyes. She was waiting anxiously for the answer, so he did not keep her waiting.
“Then you ask for forgiveness and do what you can to make amends,” Gersius said. “No matter how hard you try, there will always come a time where you are torn between two paths. Choosing one will hurt the other, but you must ask yourself which one is most important. When that moment comes, you do what you have to do, then try to make amends to anyone you let down later. Sometimes you can, and sometimes you can not. It is often the scars we carry from old wrongs we can not fix that haunt us the most.”
“This still seems confusing,” Lilly admitted.
“Sweetheart, think of it like this,” Thayle said as she put her arm around Lilly's back. “Let your heart guide your steps, and you will never falter. When you have to choose between two paths, ask yourself which one will lead to the loving outcome you want most. Most people will understand when you are forced into a position where you have to choose one or another. So long as you made your choice for selfless reasons, people will not hold you to blame.”
Gersius could see her thoughts as she tried to understand what they had just said. For Lilly, everything was about love, and she looked to her family for answers to any questions she didn't understand. He knew she would figure it out eventually, and Thayle was right. So long as Lilly approached the hard decisions with love, she would always make the right choice.
He spent that night at Sarah's side, waking her just briefly so she could come to his chest. Lilly and Thayle stayed awake, cuddling together on the terrace as they talked and watched the stars. It was a moment of peace before the turmoil of the day to come, and he relished what little sleep he got.
When the morning finally came, Sarah clung to him out of need. He let her sleep an hour longer than usual but eventually, they had to begin the day. He started it by explaining his plan to Sarah, and to say she was upset was an understatement. They argued for over an hour as Sarah pleaded with him to reconsider. Eventually, she admitted that she understood but hated the idea that they were riding into danger without her being present.
Gersius was sympathetic to her concern, especially when she pointed out that whatever killed Numidel could very well show up on the western battle lines. He'd already thought of that possibility and hoped that thousands of battle priests would be enough to turn the tide. It was only when Sarah reminded him that he had a day of execution planned for the forge master of Vellis that he paused to reconsider.
“I did set that in motion,” Gersius admitted as he tried to work out another solution.
“You can't be leading the armies in the west and be in Calathen to oversee his condemnation and subsequent execution,” Sarah pointed out.
“Sarah, please,” Gersius sighed. “You understand the need to act now?”
“Of course I do,” Sarah growled as she paced the room. “I just wish I could be at your side for it all.”
“The enemy in the east will seek one massive engagement,” Gersius pressed as he came to her side and took her hands. “You will be able to crush them in a day and send what's left fleeing for its lives. Alayse can be left to clean up what is left while you come immediately to our side.”
“I have a better plan,” Sarah said as she looked at him smugly. “You send our central army west and then come with me. We crush the eastern army, and then I fly us west at great speed. We can be in Calathen for the execution and fly for the border keeps the next day. We will probably arrive before the army does and be able to organize the offensive.”
Gersius took a moment to consider her plan and had to admit it had merit. The army would be traveling on foot and would likely take nearly two weeks to reach the keeps. Sarah could fly that distance in two days or less, meaning they could achieve their goals together. It all relied on the eastern army arriving according to schedule and rushing into a fight so they could crush it quickly. Of course, there was no guarantee they would have such an easy victory.
“Yes, we will,” Sarah quipped as she read his thoughts. “Jessivels spies have told us that these fools expect to face Lilly. They have heard of me, but none of them seem to think I will take the field.”
“I can not believe our enemies would not expect us to use all our dragons,” Gersius replied. “Considering the size of the army, they must have something planned in case you show up.”
“Again, Jessivel’s spies say they are relying on weavers to protect the skies,” Sarah argued. “Whiteford has a prestigious college of weaving and a very productive shapers guild.”
“Likely, they were the ones who forged Lilly's chains,” Gersius said with a nod. “It must be why the Father Abbot chose it for his trap.”
“Those days are long passed, and that terrible moment led you to all your wives,” Sarah said and then looked away. “I just wish it had led to something for Numidel.”
Gersius rubbed her hands and gave her a moment before looking her in the eyes.
“I believe Numideal accomplished what he set his heart to do. He wanted you to break through and come to understand love so that you could have the happiness he knew you deserved,” Gersius said. “I will mourn his loss as well, but I have no doubt in my heart that he felt rewarded to know you were loved.”
“You are a wonderful man,” Sarah said and leaned into him for a hug. “I can't bear the thought of losing you too.”
“Then we will go with your plan,” Gersius agreed to make her happy. “I will send the army ahead, and then we will all go east. I will explain to Alayse that she is still in charge of the overall strategy. Lilly and I will lead a small contingent of the forces of Balisha.”
“Thank you,” Sarah replied as a tear ran down her cheek. She nestled into his embrace, her pain momentarily flaring before feeling relieved that they would be nearby.
Gersius was surprised by how deeply moved she was, as Sarah was always a rock of strength. Lilly and Thayle looked up to them both for stability and guidance, and Sarah never let that strength slip even for a moment. Now she was reeling in emotion and in need of support as she clung to him and begged him to keep her safe. He held her until she started to calm them suggested she pray to Astikar. He would hold her through the prayer and chant with her, offering his thanks for the gift of his wife.
Sarah was delighted by the idea, and together they went into the gardens, and she sat in his lap as Lilly liked to do. With his arms around her waist, she fell into a deep meditation. With her focus achieved, Sarah cleared her mind and opened her heart to the god of mercy. Together they began to chant, his deep voice carrying a powerful rhythm as Sarah's strong but higher voice lifted it higher. The sound carried across the gardens and was heard across the palace yards, even reaching the streets where some people looked up in curiosity. It was a moment of power where together, he praised the god while Sarah asked him for guidance.
Gersius opened his heart to Astikar for the first time since Whiteford. He had sung praises before, but this time he wanted to ensure his gratitude was felt. In the end, Astikar had brought him to this point, delivering his three wives and aiding in restoring Balisha. Much to his surprise, the connection came, and Gersius felt the power of the long-abandoned divine. It was like returning home after a long journey, but a sudden jolt from Sarah broke the connection.
She burst out of his lap and shook her head, as her aura filled with confusion. Gersius got up after her and went to her side to find out what was wrong.
“I prayed about our path and asked for guidance,” Sarah said as she trembled.
“And what did he say?” Gersius asked.
Sarah looked at him with shock as she explained the dread and apprehension that was the answer. Astikar was warning her that the battle in the east was not going to be easy. There was a danger in the east, and what it meant, they could not know, but she had a vision with it that made little sense. First, she saw a man hidden in shadows hammering at an exceptionally long spear whose shaft was composed of metal. The weapon was red hot as if just taken from a fire, but purple marks were etched in the surface, dancing with the terrible heat. Then, the vision changed, and she saw Gersius standing alone under a sky with only three stars. One by one, they went out until darkness fell on him, and he was gone. This was what woke her up and drove her from the connection. She turned to Gerisus and asked him what it meant, but he couldn't explain it.
Gersius held her tight as he tried to understand the vision. Clearly, there was more danger in the east than expected, and he now suspected a weapon was involved. Their enemies had created a sword specifically to kill him. What was to prevent them from making a spear to kill a dragon? With that thought, he focused on the other part of her vision, wondering why he was alone as the stars went out.