The air was cool as it blew across his skin. There was an unusual sense of calm, a stillness that rivaled anything he had known. Gersius stood motionless, his eyes closed as he seemed to almost wake from a dream.
When he opened them, he was standing on a grassy hill. All around him as far as the eye could see was rolling hills broken by rocky outcroppings. In many ways, it resembled the hills just outside the temple, but there was a strange emptiness to it all. There was a sort of isolation that made him feel lonely and insignificant. The land was barren of any sign of life save the grass that waved in the gentle breeze. In the far distance, he thought he could see some trees. But they were so far away they appeared to be little more than a green wall.
The sky was cloudy, but not dark. The suns rays bathed the land in an almost even luminescence that defied the formation of shadows. Try as he might, he couldn't tell where the sun was above the clouds. Occasionally a golden beam of light would split the sky and touch the ground as the clouds parted. But as he watched, he noticed there was no pattern to where they appeared. It was as if the sun was all around him, radiating at him from every direction.
He realized as he stood there, he could no longer feel his wives. He felt a strange sense of loss to be severed from them, and it made him nervous.
“Lilly?” he said in a weak voice. “Thayle!” he called out much louder. His voice echoed in the distance and quickly faded.
He listened for an answer but only vaguely heard the wind in the grass. Nodding his head, he began to smile as he understood where he was.
“So this is what your heaven looks like,” he said to himself. “Empty as your promises.”
“Astikar!” he called out in as loud a voice as he could muster. His shout echoed as if in a vast canyon rolling back at him many times as it faded away.
“Where is your golden palace?” he cried. “Where are the gates of virtue? Where are you when I need you!”
All he heard was the wind in the grass.
“I did everything for you!” he shouted. “I put all I desired aside to honor you! I wanted a family years ago, but I chose to put you first. I never failed to answer your call!” He turned around as his anger poured out searching for some sign. “Where in oblivion are you?”
He shouted every word and listened to the echo.
“Silence,” he said with a nod. “That seems to be the only answer you know how to give.”
He sighed and took a deep breath as the wind continues to blow through the grass.
In the distance, he heard a noise. It was a deep thoom. Thoom. Thoom.
In the sky above the clouds, a red light passed overhead and then faded away.
Gersius watched the sky searching for more movement more color. He began to wonder if he had imagined it when he heard it again.
“Thoom! Thoom! Thoom! The sound returned, and the light appeared again growing in intensity this time.
Somewhere he heard a woman’s voice broken and distant. “Gersius!” it screamed echoing faintly across the open expanse.
“Lilly?”
“There was a terrible screeching sound, and he turned to look in the direction he had heard it. The clouds in the distance turned bright red and began to roll and boil as a huge red bird with blazing eyes descended through them.
It flew across the sky, coming directly at him. Its mighty wings beat the air producing the noise he had heard. Its very body radiated a bright red light that shone off it like the sun rays in the clouds. Its beak was jet black and large enough to swallow him whole. Its eyes glowed white, and it screeched a second loud piercing wail.
The deafening sound made him cover his ears and sent panic through his heart. The bird raised its clawed feet as if it was going to pluck him from the ground and carry him off. The closer it got, the more massive it became. He could see now that it was more than twice the size of Lilly, and could easily crush him underfoot.
Fear implored him to run as the great beast locked its eyes on him like a hawk diving at a mouse. In the last moments, he raised his hand over his face, unable to bare the death that descended on him. A long moment passed before he lowered his arm to see the great bird standing on the ground before him towering overhead looking at him with impassive eyes.
“The gates of virtue that lead into my golden palace are a sight reserved for those who honor me in their hearts. You have no right to see such things.” He heard the words but the birds beak never moved. He heard the words in his head as if speaking over the bind.
Gersius stood silent unable to speak as the words swam in his mind.
“Why have you summoned me, man of anger?”
Gersius stood in awe as the bird spoke with a high and strong voice.
“You? You are Astikar?” Gersius said trembling.
“You know who I am,” the bird replied, dipping its head down to speak at him. “You have come a long way to vent your anger with me.”
Gersius felt a new sensation crawl through him as weeks of pain and anger overwhelmed the sense of awe the bird inspired. He felt that anger surge up as he thought of Lilly, and remembered what had happened to her wings.
“I have a right to be angry!” he shouted to up to the red bird.
“What right do you have to be angry with me, oh man?” the bird questioned.
“What right?” Gersius stammered. “Where were you!” he roared. “Where were you when I called for guidance? Where were you when my men, your followers, were slaughtered on the road? Where were you when I begged you to heal Lilly’s wings? Where were you when your own servants showed her mercy by butchering her? Why do you bless those who use your power for torture and cruelty? Did you not see what they did to me!”
The great bird didn't move; it only continued to glare down.
“Well?” Gersius demanded.
“Do you not know how the prayers of guidance work fallen priest? Do you not know that I can only tell you if a path will be dangerous or not. I can not give you guidance when all the choices you offer me are bad!”
“What?” Gersius asked. “How could every path have been bad? I prayed to you about going to find Lilly! You told me that path was good! But that path led to terrible pain for me and most importantly for her! Not to mention the thirty men who died trying to honor your name! If you had spared but five of my men I could have healed her!”
“Would it have been merciful if by protecting your men, you would have fully healed your dragon's wings only for both of you to die flying to Calathen?”
Gersius stood motionless as he considered what Astikar had just said. “I do not understand?”
“If you had been able to heal your dragon's wings you would have gone straight to Calathen. Your death and your dragons torment were waiting for you there. I could not allow you to walk into the trap. I did try to warn you when you prayed about taking your Lilly to Calathen.”
Gersius shook his head. “Why did you allow them to butcher her at Whiteford? They used your power to trap her and then did the most unspeakably cruel thing.”
“Would it have served mercy to keep your dragons wings crippled and useless so that she would not be able to escape the city of Whiteford with you? Or was the removal of her broken wings what enabled her to free you and escape?”
“You meant for that to happen?” he stammered.
“Would you be here to vent your rage if those who twist my purpose did not have the strength to heal you? Or would you rather have died in pain and torment? Your mission a failure, and your dragon lost to a lifetime of suffering?”
“So you let them use your power in perverse ways because it serves your purpose?” Gersius asked with a disgusted tone.
The bird ruffled its feathers and shifted its feet.
“Do not accuse me of wrongdoing man!” it said the first hint of anger it had shown. “You think I have turned a blind eye to how they use my power? What do you know of divine power? What do you know of the rules that even the Gods must obey? Do you not know that there are Gods above us, and yet above them? Do you not know that power can be gotten in other ways? Those who you claim to use my power in perverse ways do not use my power at all. Yes, I do answer them when it serves my purpose. When they healed my champion to prevent his death though I knew they would only beat him again. There was no other way to bring you where you needed to be.”
“What are you telling me?” Gersius said, unable to link it together.
“What has come to pass oh man full of anger needed to pass in order to make you and your dragon more than what you were. I knew the path you walked was a fine line, and I knew the death that waited for you in Calathen. I acted to keep you on the course I knew would lead you here.”
“You allowed all this to me to bring me here?” he growled. “Lilly and I suffered all that as part of some plan of yours?”
The bird remained silent.
“Why have you not simply removed the Father Abbot?” he yelled.
The bird glared down at him with brilliant eyes and bent lower.
“Because the one who would replace him would be worse! And his will is strong enough to break your path! You believe you know the face of your enemy. You know nothing man of anger.
“My path?” Gersius said.
“Yes, your path. The path I chose to give you because you are the greatest of my champions. You held strong to your faith in every test; your heart never faltered. Not when your sister was lost. Not when your army was mauled. Not when your men were butchered in the forest. Not when your dragon was crippled. Not when your heart was to go to Calathen, and you were ordered to Whiteford instead. Not even when they broke your body and healed you with my power. The bird shifted ruffling its feathers and lifting its feet. “No, your faith failed when you saw your dragon chained and broken. At that moment, your heart fled from me. The very hour of your triumph, when you had been tested to your limit and been found worthy, that is when you turned from me.”
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“I swore an oath to protect her! I promised her she would never be dragged into a city a prisoner to be put on display or sold, and there I was watching her dragged out before a city and put on display.”
“Yes, you swore your oath, and you earned great rewards in the pain you suffered to keep it. Would that I could brag to the other divines of your faith, but my prize was stolen from me by her.”
“What prize?” he mocked.
“You were my great prize. A mighty jewel, unblemished and faultless, but you were snatched away like great treasures often are by a dragon. I had intended to give you several great rewards, but sadly, your heart is no longer mine. I cannot give you what I wished to give.”
“So because I grew angry at you for letting Lilly and I suffer you will no longer give me these rewards?”
“I intend to give one more, but it is not yet ready. Soon it will come to you but you will not recognize it and will reject it out of hand. It is the reward I intended for you. The one I thought would be first. I hadn’t counted on how quickly Balisha’s champion would win your heart.”
“So I lose everything else?” he asked.
“All the other rewards are lost. You will get nothing.”
“What justice is there in suffering for nothing? What mercy have you shown me for believing in you?”
“Are you not here? Was your path not dangerous? Did your blessings ever falter? Did your strength ever wain? Despite your heart and your anger for me, I would have given you anything you called on. When you called for the fire to smite the trolls, you should have died, but I protected you. When you went to heal the dragon who stole you from me, I granted you the power.”
“Do not claim to have called me here. I didn't come here for you. I came here for Lilly. I had no idea this nexus was here. I was looking for a dragon temple.”
“I know why you have come here, man of anger. I know you have only spoken to me out of your rage, but I knew this would happen. I have not forgotten how you have suffered, and I have not forgotten your pain. Though I could turn my back on you, I remember who you are. It pains me to say what I am about to say, but I will grant you the gift of your heart.
“So you will give me this one gift?” Gersius retorted.
“Yes, but know this, the day will come when you regret it.”
The bird seemed to grow larger, its eyes burning at him with hypnotic intensity. Gersius felt a pulling inside as if his very soul was being torn out.
“I remove my spirit from you and set your heart free.”
Gersius felt a tearing sensation as his skin became hot. He fell to his knees as a red mist boiled out of his skin and quickly swirled to Astikar.
“You are no longer mine. You can walk the path your heart will soon call you to follow. Go now with my blessing and know this, I called you here, not her. She does not have the strength to reach out to you. All that has happened was to get you here so you could help her. I called you both here for her.”
Gersius lay on his hands and knees panting as his body felt weak. “What are you talking about?”
“You will know soon.”
“So this is all I get? You tell me we suffered for your plan, and it ends with you stripping me of my power and casting me out? This is what my faith earned me?”
“Your words are meant to harm,” Astikar said. “But know this, I just blessed you. You will know very soon what I mean. I am giving you as a gift to the one who needs you more. I am committing an act of love of my own and suffering the pain of loss in return. You will understand one day how important this blessing was. When you do, remember who I am.”
“So there is nothing more?” Gersius said, coming to his knees and looking up at the bird defiantly.
The bird dipped its head and glared at the man before it. “Gersius my fallen son, there is something ahead of you on your road, something I have worked very hard to keep safe for you. When you find it, remember it was I who kept it safe. It is the one blessing I refuse to take away from you. Remember it was always meant to be yours. It will magnify the blessings of the others and bring balance to your home.”
Gersius felt his rage dissipating, and he looked up at the great bird. “What about Lilly's wings?”
“Had I known that you would blame yourself so deeply over the loss of the dragon's wings, I would never have sent you to find her. I would have chosen another. I never wanted you to hate me.”
The bird looked away from him and ruffled its wings. “Go, you do not belong in my realm any longer. Go and find your hearts new path.”
The world around Gersius suddenly swirled, and he felt sick. With an almost jarring shock, the world around him was suddenly the round chamber of the temple, and he fell to the floor dizzy and weak.
“Gersius!” Lilly wailed, and suddenly he felt a pressure on his shoulders.
He struggled to look up, but his head felt like he was falling.
“Thayle!” Lilly screamed.
Thayle turned to see Lilly leaning over the form of Gersius who appeared to be crawling along the floor. She was trying to lift him with one of her clawed hands carefully.
He had been gone for what seemed like an hour as they frantically called his name. Thayle even tried praying to Astikar and following him through the light, but nothing had worked.
She ran to him now and lifted his head. He felt clammy, and his face was flushed.
“Gersius, are you injured?” she asked him desperately trying to find a way to help him.
“I am fine,” he answered. “Please my wives; I just need a moment to settle my stomach.”
“Why would you do such a thing, Gersius?” Thayle cried as she wrapped him up in a hug.
“It needed to be done. I got my answers.”
Thayle looked shocked, and she pulled away from him to lift his head.
“It worked then?” she asked in a whisper. “You... you saw Astikar?”
“I did. He told me he allowed all this to happen because the alternatives were worse. He said he was trying to get us here for a purpose. He also told me he intended to reward me for my pain and suffering but that I forfeited my rewards.”
“Forfeited them, how?” Thayle asked.
“By falling in love with Lilly,” he replied. “He apparently meant for me to find my dragon and complete the prophecy. He did not intend for me to fall so deeply in love with Lilly. He said he did not realize I would be so wounded over the loss of her wings.”
“You have taken that strongly to heart,” Thayle said, trying to hold him steady. “You blame yourself for it, but you only did what was right.”
Gersius shook his head. “He told me if he had known I was going to be so upset over it, he would have chosen another champion to find her. After all the years of dedication and faith, I failed at the last step of the race.”
Thayle leaned over and hugged him. “I am so sorry.”
Gersius took a deep breath and cleared his head. “He also told me that he is the one who has been calling. He has been manipulating events to get us here.”
“He has been the one calling?” Thayle said.
“That is what he told me. He wanted us to get here so badly he allowed me to use his power even though I would not pray to him. He said he did it for us.”
“So, so what now? Is your faith restored? We can continue with your plan to go to Calathen?” Thayle asked.
“No Thayle,” he said with a shake of his head. “My faith is gone. He took his spirit from me. I am severed from him and his power. He will not answer my call again.”
Thayle's eyes immediately became wet with tears, and she threw her arms around him again.
“I am so sorry, Gersius! I will teach you about Ulustrah! I promise she will embrace you! You are a man of such strong devotion. It won't take long, you will see.”
Gersius held her with one arm and reached out for Lilly with the other. Lilly lowered her head down so he could wrap an arm under her jaw and pull her in.
“I love you both very much,” he said. “But I do not regret parting with Astikar. He told me that removing his spirit from me was a gift. he said it would make my heart ready for my new path.”
“Yes, your path with Ulustrah. I will teach you everything you need to know. I will petition the prime to give you special privilege and-.”
“Thayle,” he called to her breaking her rambling. He reached up a hand and touched the black tear on her cheek. “I will never worship the Goddess that did this to you. I am sorry, Thayle, but my heart burns with anger for Ulustrah every bit as brightly as it did for Astikar. He took his spirit from me. I doubt Ulustrah is going to grant me hers.”
Thayle reached up and touched the black stain under her eye, and her tears began anew. “Gersius, please forgive Ulustrah. please open your heart and let me teach you.”
Gersius looked into her shattered face and tried to be strong. “I do not know if I can. You did not deserve this no matter what you did. I hurt every time I see it on your face.”
Thayle lowered her head as her tears began to fall.
“Then I will go next,” she said, fighting to control herself. “I will go and speak to Ulustrah, and I will ask her why she marked me.”
“You do not have to do that, Thayle. I went because I had to. You love your Goddess, and your heart bears no pain.”
“What about the pain I feel for you, my husband? You are one of the greatest priests in all the land, and now you're powerless! You have no divine blessing of any kind!” She shook her head as she struggled not to cry. “I can't bear to see you like this, Gersius. You are gifted spiritually; you can't live the life of a faithless man.”
Gersius took her hand and smiled at her. “I am very blessed. I have you and Lilly. If it means so much to you, go and speak to your Goddess. Tell her it is I who is burdening your heart. Tell her I cannot accept that mark on your face. If she wishes to hear my prayers, I need her to reconsider.”
“I will try, for you and Lilly,” Thayle said, standing and walking to the statue of her Goddess. She bowed her head reverently and spoke a soft prayer praising Ulustrah for her love. With a trembling step, she walked to the light in the center of the room. She paused to look at Gersius and Lilly one last time before walking in and vanishing.
“Why are we doing this, Gersius?” Lilly asked, tears rimming her eyes. “Why did we come here?”
“We came here for you, Lilly. We came here to find help for you and your wings.”
“Then why are you even worse off than before? Why is Thayle now going to challenge her Goddess over her mark?”
“She isn’t going to challenge her. She is going to ask her Goddess why.”
“And then what?”
He sighed and looked up into her eyes. “Then it will be your turn.”
Lilly frowned at him and stepped back. “Why would I want to meet this divine, this so-called queen of dragons? Why would I invite a Goddess to mark my face or ignore my pleas for aid?”
“I can understand how you feel, Lilly, but if you were called to be here, then there must be a higher purpose.”
“You just said Astikar is the one who called, and you have lost your power because of it! I do not thrust these divines; they hurt the ones I love!”
“Lilly, Astikar said he called us for her,” Gersius replied.
“Her? What her?”
“I think he meant Balisha. He said she didn't have the power to call us herself. He used me to get us here. He meant for this to happen; the only thing he didn't mean to happen was me falling away from him.”
“Why would your God mean for us to suffer so?”
“He said the alternatives were worse, and that this was the only way to ensure you and I ended up here together.”
“Gersius, this path we have walked nearly tore us apart! I wanted to leave you that day I found out about my wings. No, I did leave you! It was Thayle who saved us and carried us on.”
“Astikar brought us together and started us on the path. Maybe when my heart fell away, he lost control. I honestly do not know.” He struggled to stand up and found his legs were stable again; the weakness and sickness had passed.
“I still don’t see why we are here,” she said.
Gersius reached out a hand, and she lowered her head so he could stroke the side of her jaw.
“I hoped that there might be some blessing for you here. That there might be some chance to heal you. I had no idea what this place was and that I could go before Astikar himself. But now that I know I am even more grateful we are here.”
“Gersius, how much more can you lose for these divines?”
“I still have the two things that are most important to me, you and Thayle.”
Lilly looked into his eyes with deep sadness, and he felt her uncertainty and pain over the bind.
“Why do you love me so much?” she asked with a cracking voice. “I am a crippled dragon. I have no hoard. I can’t fly. I can’t have your children. I can’t offer you anything but what you see here.”
He smiled and tipped his head down to rest it on her snout. “What I see here is more than I ever wanted, and for a crippled dragon, you have great skill at saving my life.”
She smiled at him. “You need me; you would be dead without me.”
“I do need you. Will you stay with me forever, and keep me safe?” he asked.
Her smile widened, and she rubbed her head on his chest.
“Only if you promise never to release me from your bind again,” she said and gently as she could she pressed her lips to the side of his face in a kiss.
He smiled as he felt the scaly lips and curled his arm around her head to cradle her.
“I already made you that promise. I will keep it no matter what I have to suffer.”
She started to cry as they held on to one another. Across the bind they shared the feelings of love they had for one another, and also their worries over Thayle.