The day started badly and only got worse. Gersius waited until morning to tell Lilly about Thayle. He told her that they had pushed her too far and that they needed to let the matter drop. She took the news terribly and begged him to reconsider. He held fast to his opinion that to press on would only wound Thayle more.
The pain and anguish he felt from Lilly over the binding link made his heart break. It took nearly an hour to calm her down before he finally got her dressed in her green and brown traveling dress. She went to Thayle’s room to see if Thayle would brush her hair only to find Thayle was already out.
This only made Lilly more miserable as they went to breakfast without Thayle. He tried to distract her with food, but it didn't work, and Lilly sniffed now and then in sadness. He realized then that the binding link had its drawbacks. Feeling her deep sorrow weighed on him, and he struggled to find some way to cheer her up.
When all efforts failed, he resigned himself to getting on with the days chores. Now they walked down the street in search of a shop that sold dried foods.
Lilly walked beside him, radiating feelings of pain over the bind. He had to put such thoughts out of his mind, however. The road ahead of them would be long, and if they hoped to find this temple, they would need supplies for the journey.
After several hours of hunting for a shop, he found one that sold dried goods and salted meats. He picked through baskets and barrels as Lilly tried to smell everything. He was grateful for the distraction as she poked around the shop but had to ask her to stop when the shop keepers began to show concern. She sulked and stood by the door, no longer interested in the shop or what it contained. He bought enough foodstuffs to last three weeks and arranged to pick it up later.
They then scoured the city for a map maker so he could inquire about maps of the northern forest lands. Then he hunted for some good blankets, and several sturdy leather packs to add to the saddle to pack things in. As the day wore on, they walked through the city slowly acquiring the things they would need.
Lilly was bored for most of it, and he could feel her worry over Thayle. He tried to keep his mind focused on their task, but he too was worried. Thayle was important to them both, and he hoped they hadn't damaged that relationship. He began to wonder where the woman had gone and why she had said nothing about it. As his mind wandered to that question, a hand came to his and Lilly for the first time that day took hold of his arm and leaned into him.
“I wonder that too,” she whispered. “I didn’t realize how much I miss her when she isn’t around.”
“She just needs some time to think,” Gersius said. “She probably had an errand to run, or wanted to pray someplace in the country to clear her mind.”
Lilly nodded, but they could both see into each other's minds, and they both knew the other didn't really believe that.
As they walked on, they agreed that all they could do was hope Thayle would forgive them.
Thayle was out of the Inn just as the mornings light crept over the horizon. She had tossed in her sleep all night with images of Lilly in her mind and surprisingly, the strong arms of Gersius around her waist.
She went into one of the cities parks and sat in a clear spot to greet the morning sun and meditate to her Goddess. She filled her silver bowl with water from a fountain and placed it in her lap to stare into the water's surface while she opened her heart. In moments she made the connection, and the power of her Goddess flowed through her. She let her heart speak and ask the questions that weighed on her mind and then waited for a reply. She saw an image of a dragon in her mind, tall and sleek with scales as black as midnight. It loomed over her from above, and she could feel hatred.
She snapped out of her meditation with a jump that made the water slosh in her bowl. What had such an image meant? How was it related to what she had asked her Goddess? She was at a loss to explain what it meant or why she had even seen it. She thought about trying again but shook her head. There was a chore to get done, one she wished to do privately. She got up, emptied her bowl, and tucked it into her pack. She then made her way back into the city and headed for the temple of Ulustrah.
She wore her green robes embroidered with the golden vines of her rank. She wanted to make her visit quick, and she didn't want to have to answer questions about who she was. The robe would speak for itself and open the doors quickly.
When she found the small temple by the wall of the city, she walked right in and approached the first priestess she found. The woman snapped into a bow and greeted her with Ulustrahs love the moment she saw the robe.
“I need to speak with your scryer. I am expecting a message, Thayle said.
“I will inform our high priestess immediately,” the woman replied.
“I don’t need to speak to your high priestess,” Thayle corrected. “I just want to speak to your scryer.”
The breach in protocol caused the woman to pause, but she relented and led Thayle to a small courtyard where a thin wizened man sat with a bowl in his lap.
Introductions were made, and the man smiled.
“So you are Thayle,” he said in a soft voice. “I was told you were coming. I received a message for you two days ago.”
“I would very much like to read the message now,” Thayle said.
The man set his bowl aside and went to a small table tucked into the corner of the yard. There was a shelf with rolls of parchment, and he drew one out marked with her name on it. He handed it to her, and she trembled to have it finally.
Thayle walked across the yard as she unrolled the paper and read it. It was a short message, and she went over it word by word. Her frustration grew, and she wanted to tear the paper to shreds and make the man eat it.
“Your aura looks troubled priestess,” the man said.
Thayle realized they were still watching her, and she took a moment to collect her thoughts. She needed to be away from the temple where she could be alone.
“I thank you for delivering the message,” she said calmly. “Good day.”
With that, she practically ran from the temple and made her way back to the Inn. Her mind was lost as to what to do now. Not only had her morning prayers given her a vision that made no sense of what she prayed for, but now her hopes for Lilly were burned away. She opened the letter and reread it as if maybe the words had changed.
I have exhausted all our resources to answer your question, I am sorry, but I have no solution for you, you may have to consider the blessing we spoke about.
-Arlin.
She crumpled the note in her hand and went back to her room at the Inn. She threw the crumpled note on her desk and hurriedly took off her clothes. One way or another, she was going to get an answer about the vision and Lilly. She sat down on a thick woven rug and crossed her legs. She placed the silver bowl in her lap again and poured a little water into it. With closed eyes, she began to commune with her Goddess once more.
The connection was made, and her heart opened once again. This time there were two concerns on her heart, and she laid them at the feet of the divine and waited.
She let hours pass by as she waited, but the Goddess had nothing more to say. When at last she gave up it was past midday, and she wondered where Lilly and Gersius were. She went downstairs and waited in the common room. She hoped it would be a better end to the day than the start.
Gersius nearly thanked Astikar when they arrived at the Inn to find Thayle waiting. He felt Lilly surge to life and squeeze his arm when they saw her. They greeted her, and she quickly invited them to sit down. He left Lilly with her and took the packs and blankets to their room.
His mind was heavy as he dropped the items off. He was grateful Thayle was there, but she looked upset. There was a coldness to her, and she avoided eye contact. He resigned himself to focusing on getting through the night and letting this matter drop.
When he rejoined them down below, Lilly was trying to talk to her, but Thayle was distant, and Lilly noticed. He felt her disappointment over the bind as he got closer, and his heart sank to see Lilly upset.
“She won't talk to me!” Lilly sent him over the bind.
“She has something on her mind,” he replied silently.
“Is she upset at us?”
“Lilly, I do not know,” he sent back. “We pushed her too far. All we can do is wait and see now. If she gives me a chance, I will apologize for what we did.”
He sat beside Lilly and took a hand, allowing her to see into his mind. He tried to visualize kissing her, and for a brief moment she smiled, but her joy was tainted with concern for Thayle.
“So where did you run off to today?” he asked desperate to get her to talk.
“I went to my temple to pray,” she replied, not even bothering to look at them.
“I hope you got what you were looking for,” he added.
Thayle sighed and glanced up at him just briefly.
“Do we ever get the answers were looking for?” she said.
It was a very negative response from a woman who had a strong heart for her Goddess. It dripped of anger and disappointment and made him even more concerned. Lilly felt that concern and reacted to it herself with a sense of dread.
The rest of the night was the same with Thayle only picking at her food and replying with short answers. Lilly didn’t eat at all and hung her head most of the night glancing at Thayle with sad eyes. It was almost a relief when Thayle finally said she was going to sleep and left them at the table.
“She hates us!” Lilly whispered as Thayle walked up the stairs.
“She does not hate us,” he replied. “She has something terrible on her mind.”
“What?” Lilly asked.
He shook his head. “I cannot read her mind as I can yours. Whatever it is, she is in turmoil over it.”
“Is it what we did to her?”
“Lilly, I do not know,” he said louder than he intended. His frustration was getting the better of him, and he took a moment to calm down. “Lilly, ever since we started testing her, she has grown more and more upset. Something is deeply bothering her, and it is tied to us somehow. I don't think she minds the flirting. She is a woman who is no stranger to those games. It is something more, something deeply rooted in her being.”
“Do you really think she doesn’t want a man?” Lilly asked.
He sighed as he considered it. He had, of course, told Lilly that Thayle preferred women and that she might not want him. He wasn't sure that was it though, something like that was simple to deal with, and Thayle would have told him plainly. No, it was something more, something she didn't want to share.
“She said she didn’t hate men, only that she felt safer with a woman,” he replied.
Lilly threw her head back in frustration.
“This must be why we dragons don’t form relationships. They are so hard to make!” she snapped.
He smiled at that concept. He had to admit there was a great deal of truth to it.
“She sat down to a meal with us, she can’t be that upset,” he said trying to sound confident.
“I can see into your mind, I know you’re just as worried,” Lilly said.
“All we can do is stop pressuring her and give her space. We need to show her we value her friendship above all other considerations. She will come around in time.”
Lilly sighed and nodded, but her eyes went back to the stairs as if she hoped Thayle would be coming back down them.
“Why don’t we go to our room and I will take your mind off this for a little bit,” he suggested.
She nodded silently, and he read her thoughts to see she was thinking about having her hair brushed by Thayle.
He took her hand and led her to bed. There he finally managed to make her think of something else. He swept her away with love and carried her gently into the night.
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Thayle sat in meditation once again. Her mind was clear, and her heart opened to her Goddess. She was desperate for an answer as she implored Ulustrah for guidance. While she basked in the warmth of the divine power that flowed through her, no guidance came. She as about to give up when at last an image flashed in her mind. She saw herself curled up on the ground with Gersius holding her whispering in her ear. She was about to press what the image meant when there was a firm knock on her door.
She quickly threw on her green robe and went to her door, opening it enough to see Lilly's tear-streaked face.
“Lilly sweetheart, what is the matter?” she asked, opening the door wide.
Lilly stood in the hall, wrapped in nothing but a blanket.
“Can I come in, Thayle. I need to talk to you.”
“Lilly if this is about last night it’s alright. I was just emotional, and I needed time to think. Gersius and I talked about it, and everything is fine now. I will see you both for breakfast.”
“Gersius is dreaming about having a baby again!” Lilly said her eyes starting to water.
Thayle saw her aura rage with the lights of emotional pain. She thought of the letter that lay crumpled on her desk and wondered how this day could get any worse.
“Oh, dear Lilly, come in,” Thayle said as she took Lilly’s hand pulling her in. “Come, Lilly, sit here,” Thayle said, patting the edge of the bed. Once Lilly was seated, Thayle sat next to her and took her hand. “So he dreamed of it again?” Thayle asked her.
“Thayle, he is dreaming of it right now!” Lilly said, hanging her head. “I can feel the deep desire he has for children. I can feel him in my head and my heart, this is so important to him!”
“I am sorry, Lilly,” Thayle said, sounding dejected.
“Thayle, are there any other options?” Lilly asked her.
Thayle felt her heartbreak as she considered the options, and her eyes glanced at the letter again.
“Lilly,” Thayle said, taking a long pause. “There are two options.”
“What are they?” Lilly asked.
“You could do what is called adoption. There are many children whose parents are dead from disease, accidents, and other tragedy. Some couples will take in a child or two to raise as their own.”
“I don't know. I see the logic of that, but it wouldn't be of his blood. I feel that he wants a child that is of him,” Lilly said. “I have looked at his dreams of this. He is so joyful to have a baby.”
“I understand Lilly,” Thayle said.
“What is the second option?” Lilly asked, squeezing her hand.
Thayle stood up, breaking Lilly's grip, and closed her eyes. She knew exactly what was going to happen when she told Lilly the second option. She silently prayed to Ulustrah for strength.
“You could use a surrogate, another woman to have a child with Gersius. Then it would be of his blood, but not yours.”
“He would have his child, but I would have to...” Lilly's words trailed off.
“Bring another woman into your bed.” Thayle finished for her. “Not many women can do such a thing, and it will change your relationship with him. You would have to find somebody you both deeply trust, somebody you are willing to share your husband with.” She had her back to Lilly, and she stood there rigid as a board waiting for the inevitable.
The room was silent for a long moment.
“You could do it, Thayle!” Lilly said her voice strengthening. “I trust you.”
Thayle felt the blood drain out of her face and sink to her feet. It was exactly what she feared. How could this night get any worse?
“Lilly, no I can't,” Thayle said, turning to face her.
“Gersius trusts you too. He told me how grateful he was to you. You could help us have a baby.”
“Lilly please, I,..”
“You could do it tonight! I will go tell him and explain it to him.”
“No! Lilly, you can't do that!”
“But why?” Lilly asked. “You are the perfect choice. I love you, and you love me, you are already in my relationship, You even know your true name!”
“Why does knowing my true name matter?” Thayle asked her heart, stuttering.
“So we can bind you and make you a part of us. You said so yourself that you wished you could be a part of it, this is perfect!”
Thayle froze for a moment then started to tremble.
“Have I upset you?” Lilly asked, seeing the shocked look on Thayle's face.
Thayle struggled to take hold of herself. She was a priestess of Ulustrah she told herself; she could handle this.
“No, Lilly. I just don't think you understand what you are asking me to do. You are right. I am your friend. I have been helping both you and Gersius grow your love, so I am already in many ways a part of your lives, it does make perfect sense to ask me.”
Thayle paused to gather more strength.
“I am also honored that you want me to join your binding. That is a truly special thing you both share, but only one of you could bind me. The rules of the binding magic say a being can only be bound to one master.”
“Then Gersius will do it, you and I can both submit to him.”
Thayle nodded her head, unable to comprehend what Lilly had just said.
“Why are you so nervous?” Lilly asked.
“Lilly, I can honestly say I love you, as much as a woman can love another woman, but I don't know that I can join your family with Gersius. Could you honestly share your bed with me?”
“Our bed is the same as yours, there is plenty of room.”
“That isn't what I meant,” Thayle said. “I mean, can you invite me into your bed to share your husband's love?
“Yes,” she said innocently, and Thayle saw the truth in her aura.
“Lilly, I can't do this,” Thayle stated.
Lilly looked up at her with pleading eyes.
“I told you that many times about many things. Always you showed me I could, even when I was sure I could not.” Lilly said. “I love you, Thayle. You and Gersius are the most important people in my life.”
It was Thayles turn to blush, “Why do you love me so much, Lilly?”
Lilly stood up and smiled at her. “How could I not love you? You saved Gersius's life. You have always helped me. You have guided me through all my confusion and helped me find my love for him, and then you gave me the strength to act on it. All the love I have now is because of you. I owe you everything.”
“Lilly, you don't know what you are asking me to do,” Thayle whispered with a shake of her head.
Lilly squeezed her hand and looked into her eyes. Thayle saw the deep blue of Lilly’s glistening orbs and felt a compulsion to end that sadness and pain.
“When I told you the first time about Gersius's desire to have a baby, you told me that you would do everything in your power to help me have a child. Is this not within your power?”
Lilly's words hit her like a thunderbolt.
“Lilly, please! You can make me do this, but I am begging you, don't!” Thayle begged.
Lilly began to see Thayles reluctance, and her expression changed.
“Thayle, answer me, honestly. I can't see your aura, but I trust you to tell me the truth. If Gersius agrees to take you into our bed, will you come?”
“Lilly, please don't make me answer that,” Thayle whispered her whole body beginning to tremble.
“Is this another I am avoiding the question because the answer is a yes?” Lilly asked, sounding hopeful as she leaned in close and squeezed Thayles hand.
“Lilly, please! Don't do this to me,” Thayle pleaded.
Lilly looked away from her a second and then looked back a hopeful look in her eyes.
“Would you tell me your true name if I asked you to?” she asked.
Thayles eyes went wide with panic.
“Thayle, would you tell me?” Lilly asked again
“Yes... Yes, I would,” Thayle said slowly.
“Would you be willing to let Gersius bind you and take you as a wife alongside me so we can have a family together?”
Thayle shook from head to toe, and her mouth just worked silently, unable to speak.
“You are the only one I trust to do this, Thayle,” Lilly said, “I would love you as much as I love Gersius.”
“Lilly, please,” Thayle begged in a whisper.
The hopeful look on Lilly’s face faded to be replaced by a creasing brown and fresh tears. She let go of Thayle’s hand and looked away.
“I’m sorry, Thayle. I didn't mean to. I should never have asked this of you. I, I understand.”
Thayle closed her eyes and focused her thoughts. First Gersius pry's at her heart and now Lilly. Her mind was confused, and she felt a tight knot in her stomach. She had worked so hard to deny Gersius his offers to allow her to have a relationship with Lilly, and here Lilly was now begging her to have a relationship with him. She knew what it would mean and how her life would change. She wanted desperately to deny Lilly, but in her heart, she felt her resistance failing.
“Lilly,” Thayle said, trying to gain control of her voice.
“No, Thayle, I’m sorry I asked this of you. I just, I just wanted to make him happy, and I thought you and I loved each other enough.”
“Lilly, You need to be quiet and listen to me now,” Thayle demanded.
Lilly leaned away from her but turned to regard her with her undivided attention.
“In my order, there is a blessing. It is called the blessing of service. It is when a woman is completely barren but wants a baby, and no rite of fertility has worked. A priestess will offer up her own womb to carry a child for them.”
“How does that work?” Lilly asked, wiping an eye.
“It works as you would imagine it. The priestess takes a rite of fertility herself so that she will be fertile, and then she lays with the husband.”
“So this is something a priestess in your order can do?” Lilly asked.
“Yes, but it is extremely rare, I have only ever heard of it happening twice in my time with Ulustrah. It is asking a great deal from the priestess, to carry a child for another woman.”
“So I have to ask another priestess if she will help?” Lilly said a tear running from her eye.
Thayle felt her heart twisting to see the desperation in Lilly's face.
“But I don't want another priestess! I want you! I want you to join our binding! I love you!” Lilly said, tears starting to pour from her eyes.
Thayle watched Lilly as she collapsed in a sobbing ball; she couldn't bear it anymore. She stood up and faced the woman sobbing on the bed.
“Lilly stop! If it's what you both want, I will share my name and join your bed, but Gersius must agree to it! You have to talk to him about it and tell him you want him to have a child by me. If he wants one that badly, and you are both agreed on it, I will have it for you both.”
Thayle was sure she had just felt her heart stop as she spoke. What had she just done?
“Thank you!” Lilly cried as she jumped up and threw herself into Thayles arms her blanket crashing to the floor.
Thayle held her naked form and started to cry herself as fear flooded her. She knew she truly loved Lilly, and wanted her to be happy, but did she have the strength to lay with Gersius? Did she have the courage to be silent?
Lilly sobbed on her shoulder for a few more minutes before she got control of herself. She lifted her head and took a few good breaths and then looked at Thayle
“I appreciate what you are willing to do for me,” Lilly said, struggling to breathe normally.
“I would do anything for you,” Thayle replied even as she questioned her sanity. She had agreed to do something that terrified her, and she wondered if she had the strength to follow through with it. She let her eyes wander the room for a few moments when suddenly Lilly’s hands were on her shoulders.
“Thayle, I have teased you many times about being my lover. While I do enjoy teasing you, I want you to know I do love you, and I did not mean to hurt you last night.”
Thayle struggled to clear her thoughts and hear Lilly’s words.
“I love you too,” Thayle said.
“Do we love each other enough?” Lilly asked her struggling to wipe an eye.
“What do you mean?” Thayle replied in confusion.
“I mean, do we love each other enough for this?” Lilly said as one of her hands rolled over Thayle’s shoulder, pulling her robe down with it.
Thayles heart burst into a panicked beat as Lilly's fingers rolled down her arm. She looked up into those red-rimmed eyes of ice blue to see Lilly smiling down at her.
“Lilly, I have just had the hardest conversation and made the hardest decision of my life,” Thayle began to say as Lilly pulled the robe off her other shoulder.
The garment dropped down and hung from the tie at her waist. She started to breathe rapidly as she stood half naked before the dragon that was hunting her.
“Gersius made me feel love, and he taught me the basics of human interaction, but you taught me what those feelings meant. You enabled me to know what love really is and to have it with Gersius.”
Thayle looked into her blue eyes as Lilly's hands went to the tie at her waist.
“You have agreed to do something for me that I know terrifies you. I can see it in your face, but you still chose to do it for me.”
The ties moved, she felt the robe slipping, but just as it nearly fell Lilly grabbed the robe with both hands.
“I tire of teasing you about being my lover. You have done so much for me, and I know you want more, but you have been keeping yourself away.
“Lilly, what do you want me to do here?” Thayle said as she stood before Lilly naked from the waist up.
“You will do anything for me?” Lilly asked.
Thayle just nodded her head. She didn't have the strength to respond.
“And you love me? I mean you love me like Gersius loves me?”
Again she just nodded.
“What is your true name, my lover?” Lilly asked her.
“Jillisephoney,” Thayle said without hesitation.
The robe dropped and landed at her feet.
“I love you, Jillisephoney,” Lilly said her hands coming to Thayle’s waist.
Thayles skin came alive with goosebumps as Lilly’s fingertips gently pressed into her waist as she took a firm hold.
“Lilly, what are we doing?” Thayle pleaded.
“Shhh,” Lilly said quietly, “My name is Azurastra.”
“Your name is beautiful,” Thayle said.
“So is yours,” Lilly replied, leaning in for a kiss.
“Lilly, if we open this door we won’t be able to close it,” Thayle begged.
“Thayle,” Lilly said, looking into her eyes. “Is there room enough in your bed for me?”
Thayle looked at her with pleading eyes and a crumbling resolve.
“There is always room for you,” she said.
The last stone of her resolve crumbled away at the touch of Lilly’s kiss.