Thayle paced outside the meeting tent tossing her thoughts as she tried to think of a solution. The day's events had been catastrophic, emotionally, and physically. Sarah broke and confessed her feelings, but then Gersius refused to pursue them. They arrived to check on the progress of the second half of the army to find it under siege by bandersooks and a dragon.
The attack sent Gersius into a fit of planning and organization that occupied his mind. All that mattered to him now was getting his half of the army to the keep. He promised Lilly he would spend whatever time he could with Sarah to form a relationship, but Thayle knew the truth. There would be no time, not now that the enemy knew where his meeting place was. If Gersius had his way, the army would march through the night and get there early the next day. It took some arguing to get him to relent and agree to an early start instead. Now he was in the meeting tent where she should be, planning a rapid advance to get his two armies together before the enemy could attack again.
Lilly was alone in their room, sitting on the bed, feeling sorry for Sarah. She felt a deep connection to the pain of other dragons. Lilly understood how empty their lives were, and desperately wanted to save Sarah from it. It wounded her to know Sarah was seeking to learn about love, but there was no one to love her. Lilly wanted to love her, but wouldn't do so without Gersius's permission, and he needed more time. He did agree to accept her now provided there was some proof that it was the right decision, but what proof could any of them offer?
Thayle paused in her pacing as two guards walked by, nodding in acknowledgment of her presence and moving on. The whole camp was on edge now that word of the attack was spreading. That the enemy used bandersooks caused a bit of terror to seep over the camp. Enemy soldiers were one thing, but bandersooks were wild animals, fearless, random, and savage. The guard was tripled to ease the camp's worries, and five hundred volunteers were sleeping in their armor. If the alarm was raised, they would be the ones to hold a line while the rest got ready. Gersius commented on how he should have done the same in the forest outside Lilly's cave. The pain that came to his eyes to remember the slaughter of his men was almost too much to bear. She had to look away from his aura for fear of what she might see but silently noted that this was another pain he was holding on to. She would find a way to root it out later and free him from its grasp.
Her big concern now was Sarah. After her emotional breakthrough, his response would be devastating. It was possible this would set her back, and cause her to fear trying again. Gersius might come to build a relationship only to find her closed off.
If only he could see how much Sarah was hurting, but then he didn't love her. That was the truth that made Thayle think twice about pursuing this. He admitted she was a woman worth loving, but he didn't love her. In fact, he was intentionally trying to avoid developing feelings for her at all. Of course, he was doing it to honor her and Lilly, as if he needed to prove his loyalty. None of that would matter now, Sarah would see any explanation as a rejection, and the pain would start.
She paused to look at Sarah's tent, attached to the changing ring so she could easily come and go as a dragon. Somewhere inside, Sarah was undoubtedly thinking the day's events over. She would be replaying every word and action looking for meaning she might have missed as the uncertainty plagued her mind. Thayle knew it was better to get this over with, but somehow didn't have the heart to tell Sarah he said no.
“Here you are,” Mingfe said, disturbing her from the painful thoughts.
“Oh, you startled me,” Thayle replied, grateful for the distraction.
“Why are you out here glowing with worry when you should be in the planning meeting?” Mingfe asked with folded arms.
Thayle let out a sigh and looked about to make sure nobody would hear before explaining Sarah. Mingfe smiled to hear Sarah admit her love then soured when she heard of Gersius's rejection. When Thayle told her how he admitted he didn't love her and his aura confirmed it, she changed again.
“Better to let it be then,” Mingfe suggested. “She needs him, but if he has no heart for her, then he will wound her, and she will be worse off.”
“I know,” Thayle said, pacing a few steps. “But she insisted that she wanted to learn from us. She doesn't trust anybody else.”
Mingfe silently considered the point and then looked at her with firm eyes. “Then, he has chosen wisely to try and built that relationship first.”
“But she will be devastated,” Thayle said.
“He had time with Lilly and you to build a strong connection,” Mingfe pointed out. “He needs time with her. Even more, do I think you should have let her be his dragon.”
“Stop reminding me,” Thayle said as she silently scolded herself for wasting such a golden opportunity. “I can’t believe I let that slip through my fingers. Still, she agreed to share her name and be bound, shouldn’t that have meant more to him?”
“Did you tell him?”
Thayle went to reply and then realized she hadn't. It slipped her mind and never came up, now she felt foolish for making two mistakes. Being willing to share her true name and accept being bound changed his mind about her. True he was pursuing her through Lilly, but he was ready to give up for fear of hurting their friendship. Maybe if he knew Sarah wanted him to bind her, it would change his mind? The thought hung in her mind for but a second before she realized the answer was no. Sarah wanted to be bound so she could learn about love. Whereas Thayle realized she did it so Gersius and Lilly could have children. It was all about them, not her, yes she loved them both, especially Lilly, but she wanted to bring them happiness. Sarah wanted that happiness for herself.
“You are lost in a deep thought,” Mingfe said, bringing her out of the spiraling contemplation.
“I was just thinking that Sarah and I have very different reasons for wanting to be bound,” Thayle said and looked back to Mingfe.
“But did you tell him?” she pressed.
Thayle admitted she had not and explained the different motivations. Mingfe was in full agreement that his knowing would likely not change his opinion. He didn't crave power over his wives. He craved a desire on their part to love him and any others that were part of their family. Sarah's desire to grow was not enough motivation to invite her in and potentially damage their relationship.
“How do I tell her?” Thayle asked.
Mingfe was calm and glanced at Sarah's tent with a calculating look in her eyes. “You tell her that he said he wanted to spend more time with her so they could have a relationship first. Then he will take her as a wife. It isn't a no; it is a path to her goal.”
“She isn’t going to see it that way, and neither is Lilly,” Thayle pointed out.
“He hasn’t said no,” Mingfe pointed out. “He said now was a bad time, and asked you to give him more. She will be a wife when the time is right.”
Thayle smiled and shook her head. “You can’t admit an emotional pain like that and then go back to waiting. She let her feelings out, and will not be able to interact with him normally now. She will feel rejected and embarrassed that he knows about her desire and didn’t act on it.”
“Then you lie to her, and you tell her you haven't had a chance to talk to him,” Mingfe said. “Your only other option is to sit all four of you down and discuss a plan to make her a wife later.”
“And what if they don't come together?” Thayle asked, not at all certain they will.
Mingfe shook her head. “You do realize he is right? Now is a terrible time to be dealing with this. Your being out here is exactly why he doesn't want this now. There are important tasks you must do, and you do not have time to play with this. She will have to wait until there is time for her to become a wife properly.”
“You're right,” Thayle relented. “This is already causing us problems. It happened too quickly, and I lost sight of what was important right now.”
Mingfe smiled and gestured to the tent. “Let us go back to the meeting; I am sure there is much you could add that is important.”
Thayle agreed and returned to the tent, joining the meeting as Gersius pushed his captains for more speed. He looked up to smile for just an instant before going over a plan to secure the first major city on the border. It was a war campaign, moving from key location to key location, drawing ever closer to Calathen. When asked about what was waiting for them at the keep, Gersius repeated what Gams had told him then turned to her. She spent only a few minutes with Chiune, but long enough to learn, she had over a thousand well-trained infantry, and another thousand untrained women rescued from camps. There were many men of Astikar in their formation, but her numbers were only a guess at around three hundred. There was nearly another five hundred militia drawn from camp guards and volunteers they collected along the way and a small group of southern warriors. Tavis and Ayawa were apparently present, but she hadn't seen them during the battle or the brief moment after.
As the meeting continued, they began to plan how Gams would become their second in command, and general of the overall army of Astikar with Thayle leading the forces of Ulustrah. Once the units were combined, he would sit with Gams and decided how to divide the army into formations. He was hoping for five infantry divisions and one cavalry.
It was the mention of cavalry that set Thayle to thinking. In the brief moments with Chiune, she mentioned that the first and second companies were ordered to join her army. That meant Alayse and her cavalry should be on the move, or even ahead since they can travel faster. However, Chiune claimed that Alayse was sitting put, refusing to abandon the holy city even though temple guards were sent to replace her. Even more troubling was the mention of a prime in her army. Prime Yarvine of Calathen was safe, having narrowly escaped the devastation of the old empire and was now traveling with Chiune’s army. There was a strong flare of anger in her aura when Chiune mentioned that part. She was not happy Yarvine was there.
Gersius rolled out maps as men began to discuss the advance. One of the captains was from Brackenwall and knew of a ford to cross the river when the waters were low. This time of year, they would be at their lowest, and Gersius could cross the entire army unseen. The wagons would need assistance over the stony riverbed, but the passage was wide and could easily accommodate them. Gersius set that as a location for his scouts to confirm was usable and moved on to planning the advance.
The question was raised about splitting the army in two and striking at multiple locations at once. Gersius laid out his fears that the Father Abbot would press the local armies into a defense. If he did, they could be marching into three or four times their number. Dividing the army in two would allow them to cover more ground, but at the risk of being destroyed should they hit a superior force. What he really wanted was information about the disposition of local kings, the strength of their armies, and their willingness to fight. Many hoped the local lords would show up and surrender without a drop of blood being spilled. Gersius was hopeful for that as well, but his aura showed he didn't believe it.
Thayle was asked to create two formations out of her women, each with three squads. This would make them large formations that could easily be broken into smaller units. When they reached the keep, she would form a third veteran formation with Chiunes forces and spread the untrained women into special shield units. The militia was to be rolled into one formation with the pikemen acting as a squad and the militia forming four smaller units that could be rotated in and out.
When the meeting was over, he felt like a storm about to break. He bid the leaders good night and headed for the isolation of their private space. Thayle, on the other hand, turned and looked to the hall that led to the changing ring and Sarah, there was no point in putting it off any longer.
Gersius returned to the tent to find Lilly sitting on the edge of the bed, looking unhappy. She felt sad over the bind and glanced up with wet eyes. He took a moment to take his shirt off then sat beside her with his arm around her waist.
“I am sorry,” he whispered. “I only want to protect our family and honor her. I do not have the time or luxury to pursue her now.”
“I know,” Lilly replied with a sniff. “I am upset that she is ready to experience love but can’t find it.”
Gersius nodded and rubbed her back. “I know one thing about our lives, and that is all this was meant to be. If Sarah is meant to be our wife, she will be. The divines will find a way to make sure we know it.” Lilly smiled a little, and he pulled her in tight. “I love you, Azurastra. I love you with all my heart and soul. I just want to be able to say the same about her first.”
Lilly laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “The war is about to get worse, isn't it?”
“I am afraid so, though there is still hope we can avoid serious bloodshed until we're deep in the empire. It will depend entirely on the local kings, but many of them were friends and allies of my family. I may be able to sway some to our side without a battle.”
“I hope so,” Lilly replied in a whisper.
He struggled to hold his true worries in check lest she read them in his thoughts. It was possible there would be no significant battles until the city, or it was possible the kings would meet him in mass. If that happened, the battlefield would thick with bodies from both sides, and his army would be seriously weakened for its assault on Calathen. Of course, there was a need for some of them to resist. After all, they would be critical to his successful assault on the city.
Someplace nearby, Thayle felt equally in turmoil. He knew she was going to talk to Sarah and was afraid of her response. He didn't want to hurt Sarah but needed to be sure. He would pray soon and ask Balisha for guidance to show him the path.
He decided to avoid sleep, instead waiting for Thayle to return. He was grateful she joined the meeting and reported the forces of Ulustrah present in the keep. Many were interested in the first company, and it's highly trained soldiers. There was a remark that the second company was also joining them, but Thayle stressed there might be an issue. She didn't elaborate, but it had her upset. One of the first things she did when they returned was to use her scryers to send a message to Eastgate. She wanted confirmation on the current orders of the first and second companies. So far, no reply was received, but it was apparent Thayle was eager to get it.
It was a concern he would have to ask her about privately. When Lengwin asked who was in command of the second company, Thayle had soured. Speaking the name Alayse made Mingfe frown as well, indicating that both women were not pleased to know she was involved. It was another problem that needed to be solved, but not now.
He let it go and decided to pick Lilly up and carry her to the small rug in the middle of their space. There he sat in meditation with her in his lap clinging to him. She rested her head to his and joined his thoughts, praying as one to Balisha. She smiled to hear his prayer echo as he asked the goddess what role Sarah was to play in their lives. It was to both their shock when a vision came swift and fast.
He saw the walls of Calathen soaring up from the plains; the great metal-clad golden gate barred to his entrance. His vision rose to the top of the walls, where thousands of men waited with siege engines and bows. Behind the walls was the city itself, but a curtain of fire rose up obscuring his sight. Two glaring eyes of red bore down on him from the fire, as if looking back at him from the vision. A book flew out of the flames, opening to a page on its own to float before him. There on the page, he and Lilly read the words that sent a deep chill down his spine.
“All lies in the choice of nature or the heart. Is the price worth paying, or will the land weep for its loss, for the dragon knight has fallen.”
This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
Gersius snapped awake with a jump, just as Lilly sat upright with wide eyes.
“What did that mean?” Lilly asked in shock.
Gersius shook his head and pulled her to his chest tightly, afraid to answer the question. He closed his eyes and tried to will the vision away, but the words were clear. A dragon knight would die in the assault on Calathen.
“No,” Lilly said, reading his thoughts and pushing away. “No, that can't be what it means.”
He let out a sigh and looked into her panicked eyes. “Remember what the passage said. It relied on a choice to be made. That means we can avoid that outcome just as we have avoided so many others in the past.”
Lilly nodded, but he could feel and see her pain and fear. She struggled to get up and paced a few steps away, shaking her head. “I saw that wall before, and the curtain of fire. It was the first vision I had weeks ago.”
“Then you were looking at Calathen,” Gersius said.
Lilly turned about. “You are the one that is meant to be the dragon knight. The book has to mean you.”
“It probably does,” Gersius replied. “But even if I did fall, Thayle would carry on, and restore the land. You and she would be empress’s of the Dragon Empire.”
Lilly stepped back, shaking her head. “No, I won't do it without you. The divines hear me now. If you take my husband from me, I will abandon you all!”
“Lilly, do not say such things,” he implored, rising to his feet.
She shook her head again. “No, I need you, I can't do this without you. I love Thayle, but you are the one who gives Thayle, and I purpose, and a reason to fight. Without you, there is no point to any of it. I will take Thayle and go back to the valley, and never help them again.” Gersius stepped up to take her hands as she leaned into his chest. “They can't take you from me. I need you!”
He folded his arms around her and added one more worry to his list of concerns. He prayed about Sarah's role and was warned about his own death. The vision did say that a choice had to be made, nature or the heart, but what did that mean? As he silently pondered it, the tent flap came open, and Thayle came hurrying in.
“Why does Lilly feel like you just died?” she demanded to know.
Gersius picked Lilly up again as she started to cry and carried her to the bed. There he sat with her in his arms and told Thayle about the vision. Thayle was troubled as well but took it in much better stride.
“Maybe they mean me,” she offered.
“It's Gersius,” Lilly sobbed. “I don't want him to die.” She then looked up with wet eyes and stared into Thayle's face. “I don't want you to die either. I need you both; I can't live without you.”
Thayle felt in terrible pain over the bind, and Gersius held out an arm to pull her in as well. He firmly held the two women and reiterated that the vision said a choice had to be made first. Nature or the heart, and the outcome would decide if anyone dies or not.
“What a terrible day this had been,” Thayle sighed. “The enemy knows about both armies and has launched a massive attack with bandersooks. Sarah finally opens up at the worst possible time, and now a vision that one of us will die in the attack on Calathen if we don't make the right choice.”
“Let's run,” Lilly said in a panic. “We can go back to my valley and seal the cave. We can be alone and happy for a change while the world goes on without us.”
Gersius shook his head. “Lilly, it is the events of the world that made us three husband and wives. We cannot run from the very process that brought us together. We have to face the walls of Calathen and trust that our hearts will know the right path when the choice comes.” Lilly sniffed and buried her face in his shoulder to sob while Thayle stroked her arm.
“I suppose this makes pursuing Sarah even more of a problem. How horrible would it be to join her as a wife and have you or I die a week later,” Thayle said.
“All I wanted to do was ask Balisha for guidance about Sarah. Maybe this was her way of saying wait.”
“Yes, wait because one of you will die soon.” Thayle looked down before glancing back up at him. “If you die before I hand you a baby, I will never forgive you,” she scolded.
“I do not have control over that,” he argued.
“Gersius, I made a vow to have children for you and Lilly. I will fulfill that vow if I have to take a blessing of fertility tonight and stall your advance for nine months.”
“In nine months, the Doan will be in the common lands,” he countered.
“I will make Lilly carry you off to the valley to wait for your child,” Thayle snapped.
He smiled at her anger and desire to provide the happiness she promised. He couldn't help but kiss the top of her head and hold her close as his wives worried over the future. “We have survived every challenge so far. We will survive this one. Never forget the vision said there was a choice to be made.” He held them to his chest as the time slipped away until finally, Thayle spoke again.
“I told Sarah,” she said.
“And how did she respond?” he asked.
“She is hurt, but said she understood.”
“What did her aura say,” he pressed but wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Thayle was quiet a moment as she collected her thoughts, telling him it wasn’t good.
“She is devastated,” Thayle said honestly. “She wants to know what love is badly, but is afraid to seek it out. She feels like you rejected her because she wasn't good enough, and that has wounded her deeply.”
He nodded his head in understanding and looked into the dark room. With all the pending problems, what right did he have to pursue another woman?
“I am sorry, Gersius,” Thayle said. “You asked Lilly and I to find out how she felt about us, but we pushed too hard, and her feelings came rushing out. If we had restrained ourselves, she wouldn't have broken down like this now, but I wasn't thinking about the whole picture. You and I will be buried in the war effort soon, and finding time to love each other will be hard. I should have waited and not pushed this, but I can't help myself. I saw the pain, and I wanted to help.”
Gersius rubbed her arm and let out a soft sigh. “You did what your heart desires. You didn't join the order of Ulustrah to lead armies and fight wars. You joined it to heal the pain in people's hearts. I do not blame you for wanting to help Sarah when her need is so dire. I would expect nothing less of you, and if you had turned your back, I would worry your heart was changing.”
“But now I have wounded her, and put a burden on your shoulders,” Thayle cried. “I just want to run away with you and Lilly and start our family.”
“Hey,” he said softly. “I want that too, but remember what I said a few minutes ago. All this had to happen to bring us together. For all we know, Sarah is meant to be a part of us, but we need more time to find out. If you think it will help, I will go talk to her.”
“No,” Thayle said in a rush. “You need to stay away from her. If she comes to you, that's fine, but going to her might put her on edge. She is feeling exposed and vulnerable right now and is too proud of her strength. She needs a little time to settle her heart on the matter.”
“I wish she was here,” Lilly said.
Gersius shook Lilly gently and smiled. “How did you fall in love with her?”
Lilly shrugged and ran a hand across his leg. “I wasn't at first, but when I started to catch glimpses of her heart, I started to wonder. Then she brought you into the dream to save me, and then to the valley. It touched me that she did those things for us. It's a lot like how Thayle worked to save us from ourselves. If she hadn't been here I would be suffering in my calling right now, and who knows what I would be doing.”
“She did something wonderful for us, didn't she?” he asked. Lilly nodded as he considered how quickly Sarah came to the rescue of their relationship. Despite not understanding why they had such a strong relationship, she acted to save Lilly from its repercussions. He rubbed them both as they clung to him and wondered how he was going to find time to deal with Sarah.
The morning came despite his desire for a long night, and the camp rapidly came down. All early activities were canceled, and the army was marching even before the sun was fully over the horizon. Gersius walked with Lilly and Thayle near the front of the column, talking with various commanders about how he wanted the camp setup when they reached the keep. He intended to walk late into the night to reach the walls that very day. The constant questions and planning kept them busy for most of the morning, but it was clear Sarah was missing. Numidel arrived near noon with a look of concern on his face and asked if he could pull them aside. Gersius excused himself and his wives from the discussions to walk to the side with Numidel so they could talk.
“I assume this is about Sarah,” Gersius said.
“She is in a foul mood,” Numidel replied. “But she will not tell me why. However, I have managed to deduce it involves you somehow.”
Gersius let Thayle explain it all to his understanding nods. She even defended Gersius's decision to want more time to develop a proper relationship first. Numidel agreed that this was all very sudden, especially for a dragon of Sarah's age. Gersius explained how little time he would have to spend with her, but then Numidel pointed something out he hadn't considered.
“Why could she not be at your side as you plan your battles?” he asked. “She would love to join for such things. Honestly, she would love to share this burden you carry, taking some of it from your shoulders. She is a master of organization and planning, and loves to solve problems.”
Gersius was confused for a moment as he considered all the things he did alone. Lilly and Thayle were not very interested in logistics and maneuvers, often leaving those matters to him. Would Sarah prefer to be there to help him manage these affairs? If that was the case, he would likely be spending more time with her than Lilly and Thayle. “I hadn’t considered that,” Gersius admitted.
“Do you think Sarah would be good for us?” Lilly asked, causing a drastic change in the topic.
Numidel smiled and looked ahead. “I would never have dreamed she would change. She was so certain that mixing with humans was a foolish endeavor. It caused many problems that ended poorly, but some of us were happy. I know I was happy about my time with my human love. Sarah must have seen something in your relationship that made her change her mind. I hope you will reconsider her.”
Gersius nodded. “You do understand my concerns. I have to think of the family I have now and add to it carefully. I would hate for her to be unhappy with us, and we with her.”
“I am aware of your point of view, and to be honest, I would worry too. She has changed a great deal in a very short time. She will bring much of her dragon point of view into your relationship. I would worry that such a point of view would lead to conflict, especially between your wives.”
“All that can be mended with time,” Thayle said. “She needs a chance to experience love so she can grow like Lilly did.”
Numidel didn’t argue the matter but pointed out that Lilly grew because she was bound. Sarah had no such connection to feel the emotions flowing from the other side. It was going to be much harder for her.
Gersius agreed and even reconsidered his decision. It would be a gamble to take her and deal with any struggles that arise even as his armies march to war. However, having the link might be just what she needed to grow rapidly in understanding. With Thayle to help and guide her, she might change quickly and overcome those challenges.
“I will give this more thought when we reach the keep,” Gersius said. “I will pray again, as well. If I can find some proof that this is the right course of action, I will waste no time in seeking her hand. I want to be honest with you all here and now. Sarah is a beautiful woman with a strong heart and faith. I am grateful for her aid with Lilly, and that she is teaching both her and Shadros dragon history. I find her strength of character and will to be her best qualities, and I am very impressed with her smithing and sword fighting skills. She is a noble woman who deserves honor and respect. Were I single, I would have already considered her hand, but I held back only to honor my wives.”
“Why are you saying this?” Thayle asked.
“I do not want any of you to think I don't like her. I have simply chosen not to think of her that way out of respect to you two. Now that I know, I will look at her differently, but the timing could not be worse. I wish I could talk to her about my concerns and how I worry, I won't be there for her.”
“If she wanted to share your burdens, she would be there for you,” Lilly said.
“As I said, I hadn’t considered that before,” he repeated.
“Maybe one of us should go talk to her,” Thayle suggested. “Where is she?”
“In the back,” Numidel said. “Walking in her human form alone.”
“I’m going,” Lilly replied. “I don’t want her to be alone.”
Gersius nodded and sent her off as he turned to Numidel and looked him firmly in the eyes. “Have I done the wrong thing?”
Numidel shook his head. “No, you chose caution over recklessness. Even Sarah understands that I am sure. It is unfortunate that this happened now, but I don’t blame you for wanting to be sure, both for your sake and hers.”
Gersius nodded and looked back over his shoulder, hoping he was right.
Lilly ran down the line waiving to people who called out greetings and smiling at a few faces. When she reached the end of the line, she found Shadros stomping along, looking over his shoulder to the lone figure walking far to the rear.
“Why is she back there?” Shadros asked. “She belongs at the front.”
Lilly looked up at him and was touched that he showed a hint of concern. “Sarah is troubled by something,”
“What could trouble her so?” he asked.
Lilly looked to the woman who had her hair loose and her head down. She felt a swell of pity and wondered how to explain it when the answer suddenly came to her. “You know those words your mother said to you that you don't understand?”
He nodded as he glanced down at her silently.
Lilly sighed. “Sarah has learned what they mean.” She left him alone to ponder that thought as she headed out to meet the lonely woman in the road. Sarah never looked up or even spoke as Lilly fell in beside her and walked along.
“Sarah, can I talk with you, please?”
There was a low exhale, and Sarah nodded her head.
“I love you,” Lilly said. “And one day soon, I am going to show you how much.”
“He said no,” Sarah replied. “I was a fool to think it would go otherwise.”
Lilly shook her head in frustration but kept her voice down. “He didn’t say no, he said not now. He is worried that the war will occupy all his time.”
“He made a sound judgment, I am sure it will,” Sarah agreed.
Lilly could hear the pain in her voice and avoided looking at her aura for fear of what she would see. Instead, she stepped a little closer and reached out her hand.
“I am not one of your wives,” Sarah replied. “It isn’t proper for you to hold my hand. It isn’t proper to display such affection openly even if I was.”
“Why not?” Lilly asked. “If we love one another, why can’t we show it?”
“I can’t love you, and you cannot love me.”
Lilly smiled and shook her head. “I have permission to seek your hand from him. He gave it to me days ago and told Thayle and I to find out how you truly felt.”
“Why would he give such permission when he had no intention of acting on it?” Sarah asked.
“Because he just wanted to know how you felt so he could begin planning how best to build a relationship with you. He wants one, but the war is the most pressing matter.”
“I could help him with that,” Sarah said. “But he won’t let me.”
“He is thinking about that too,” Lilly pressed. “This morning he prayed to Balisha about you and asked her what role you were to play in our relationship.”
“Did Balisha answer you?”
Lilly nodded but had to recount the vision that was given. Sarah looked up with wet eyes and gazed into Lilly’s face as the line about the dragon knight falling was recounted.
“So he dies,” Sarah said in shock.
Lilly struggled not to cry again and shook her head. “Only if we fail the choice.”
“But which choice is the right one?” Sarah asked. “And is his rejection of me meant to protect me from his impending death?”
“No!” Lilly shouted and then got control of herself. “He only wants to have the time to honor you properly.”
“He prays to his goddess to ask about my role in his life, and she shows him his death. Are you not concerned that you were given a very clear answer? I have no role in his life because his life is coming to an end.”
Lilly looked away now as a tear rolled down her cheek. She didn’t want to admit that such a fear lurked in her heart. She shook and started to sniffle when something warm touched her hand.
“I did not mean to wound you,” Sarah said as she took her hand. “I was trying to justify my own pain. I don’t know how you live with such feelings tearing you up inside.”
Lilly wrapped her fingers around Sarah’s and nodded gently. “He told us how beautiful and wonderful you are, but wants to be sure this is both your paths.”
“He is a wise man,” Sarah conceded. “I suppose he is only trying to make sure I will be happy in his relationship.”
“Our relationship,” Lilly corrected. “Thayle and I bow our heads to him, but he never excludes us. We are a family equal to one another, and you belong in it, I am sure of it. I will find the proof you both need to make you sure of this.”
Sarah smiled and glanced at Lilly's tear, streaked face. “I have wounded you. I am very sorry. You don't have to go to such extremes to make me feel better.”
Lilly leaned into her and let out a sigh. Sarah was clearly not accustomed to love and forgiveness, so she opted to change the topic. “Why did you save me from the calling?”
“You are a dragon. I could not stand by and let you suffer such a thing when I knew how to stop it.”
“Now, why did you really do it?” Lilly pressed.
Sarah was silent as she looked over the hills to the right. “I wanted to know,” she replied. “How did he feel about you? Would he risk anything to save you? Could he fight even the phantoms of your dream?”
“Is that why you walked away that night?” Lilly asked as Sarah closed her eyes and squeezed Lilly’s hand.
“I needed time to think. I expected him to fight, but not to change the dream. He doesn't just care for you; he is inseparable of you. Seeing you in that kind of danger drove him to emotions, I didn't know men possessed. As a dragon, I can't fully understand why he feels this way about you, but I want to find out. I want to know why a human cares so much about a dragon.”
“He loves me,” Lilly replied.
“I know he does, and seeing that display gave me context for the word. Love breaks barriers, moves mountains, and shatters chains. I just hoped maybe he could feel the same way about me. I worry, though, that you and he are not my path. Perhaps I am too old for this world and love.”
Lilly nodded and rubbed her thumb up the back of Sarah's hand. “You are not too old. I will find a way to convince him and you that this is the path you're meant to walk. You both need a little proof to settle your hearts. I will never rest until I find it.”
“Child, why are you struggling so hard for me?” Sarah asked.
Lilly looked up and smiled. “Because I love you, and just as Gersius battled the dream to save me, I will battle the world to save you.”
Sarah nodded and let out a sigh. “Thayle said I should strive to spend more time with him.”
“I agree,” Lilly said. “He needs to build a relationship with you.”
“I thought we had one,” Sarah said with a shake of her head. “I was trying to share with him when I asked for his help with the sword, then we danced and dueled.”
“I know, but he was in the wrong frame of mind and heart when you tried. He is such a good man; he locked away any notion of building that kind of relationship with you.”
“So I was basically talking to a stone,” Sarah laughed.
“He was trying to honor Thayle and I, and you, I suppose. He wants your relationship to form properly and not in haste because of the war.”
“I should be grateful then,” Sarah said. “But, I feel so rejected.”
“Please don’t feel that way. He only said now was a terrible time. Thayle and I agree it is horrible timing. I wish we had met you weeks ago and been able to spend time with you.”
Sarah tossed her head, shaking her long red hair with a smile. “I was supposed to be first. He should have met me even before you. We should be a team by now, knowing how to complement each other on and off the battlefield.”
“You should,” Lilly agreed. “I think you are a perfect match for him, certainly better than I am.”
“How can you say that?” Sarah asked.
Lilly smiled. “Gersius loves Thayle and me, but you can challenge him in ways we can't.”
“I still don’t understand?” Sarah replied.
Lilly swung their joined hands and started to think of a good answer. “Well, Thayle and I can give him affection, but he craves somebody who can match his strength just like you do. He needs a partner who is as disciplined and skilled in combat as he is. Somebody who can stand at his side and radiate the same kind of power he does.” Sarah smiled a little and looked up at her comments, so Lilly went on. “You even understand the faith that made him who he is. Astikar still means a lot to him, and I catch him offering prayers of thanks from time to time. He misses his god, even though he belongs to Balisha now. Thayle and I will never be able to share that kind of connection with him. Only you can do that.”
“So I offer him something neither of you can?” Sarah asked.
“You offer him lots of things we can't. I am terrified about getting to Calathen and having to take the title of Empress. I wish you were there to stand at his side when he addresses the people so Thayle and I can hide in the back.”
“Don't be foolish, you will stand up front where you belong,” Sarah said. “Even if I was at his side, I would not allow you to go unrecognized. I will make sure the whole empire knows who you are and that you are my wife.” Sarah froze in the road as Lilly smiled wide. “I didn't mean to say it like that.”
“Why not?” Lilly asked. “I loved hearing it.”
“I am not your wife.”
“Not yet,” Lilly replied. “But I promise you will be.”