They sat beside a low fire that burned a bundle of Ayawa's incense. It produced a fragrant smoke that drifted lazily on the wind. It was a quiet place, perfect for the task at hand, but it wasn't working out the way they had planned.
“I know how to meditate,” Ayawa grumbled as Lilly tried to instruct her on the point of light technique.
Lilly paced about the small campfire in annoyance as she struggled to understand Ayawa. For two days, she had come to the woods to teach her how she reached out for the divine. Lilly had been instructed in several methods to clear her mind and open up to the flow. She tried to teach these to Ayawa, but the woman claimed to have her own methods, one of which was listening to the wind or counting her breaths as she carefully slowed them. Lilly understood that these probably did help her focus, but it didn't result in a connection to the divine. She wanted Ayawa to try one of her methods to see if it would have better results.
“Can you please just try the point of light technique,” Lilly sighed.
“What difference does it make how I meditate?” Ayawa asked. “All that matters is my mind is clear.”
“I don't know if it makes a difference or not,” Lilly replied as she grew frustrated. “All I know is it works for me, and your methods do not work for you.”
“Maybe there is more to it?” Tavis asked from where he sat against a tree with Gedris in his arms.
“I do it the same way Lilly does,” Gedris said. “But I was always told that you needed to call out with your heart once your mind was open. The divine only answer those who call.”
“How do I call to a divine I know nothing about?” Ayawa asked.
“There must be something you can use to focus on the earth mother. Does she have another name or a symbol? Something that you can concentrate on to draw yourself to her?” Lilly insisted.
“I am sure she does, but all that knowledge was lost,” Ayawa said in frustration and went to get up.
“No, just stay where you are,” Lilly insisted. “Maybe I should teach you about the dream and how to enter it instead.”
“If Gersius can’t do this, what chance do I have of doing it?” Ayawa asked.
“Gersius and Thayle haven’t been trying to do it,” Lilly pointed out. “They are too busy with other things, but I suspect that with a little practice, anyone could master it. I know Gersius could because once he is inside the dream, he can cause it to react.”
“But you don’t know how to enter the dream intentionally?” Gedris asked.
“Sarah keeps meaning to teach me, but things have been so rough for her lately,” Lilly admitted. “Still, my mother went over it, and I have learned a little from Sarah. I think we should be able to figure it out if we work together.”
Ayawa looked skeptical, but she held out hope that something of her people's past might be recovered. It had never occurred to her that dragons lived such long lives and might remember something of what was lost. Lilly could assume a human form and walk in the mists. If even that small bit was regained, it would be a huge step forward for her people.
Lilly sat down to describe how the dream was a mirror of the waking world, but for the most part, it was the world from thousands of years ago, and many human changes didn't exist. The only places that showed change were where great emotion was expended. So they could find a lonely stretch of road in the middle of nowhere or a single house where a village stood. Some places were created by dragons and men long ago that stood, but Sarah had warned these were dangerous to go near now. Creatures of emotion and shadow haunted these places now, and Lilly wasn't sure how to keep them away.
For now, their only goal was to enter the dream intentionally and find each other. Lilly explained how the dream was unique to each dreamer as if they were in their own special world. However, those worlds touched. There were places where the dream was shared by all, and it was in these places where the ancient structures haunted by wraiths stood. They would have to use a technique where they agreed on a place to meet that they both could visualize clearly. Ayawa talked about places from her past, but Lilly explained it had to be someplace she also knew.
“What about Thayle’s temple where we met?” Tavis asked.
“I don’t know that I remember that so well,” Lilly admitted with a shake of her head.
“I think I know a place we might both remember clearly,” Ayawa said as she looked uncomfortable. “The ledge at the temple in Eastgate where I gave you the crown.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Lilly said enthusiastically. “I can remember that moment clearly. I bet our emotions are deeply tied to that place as well.”
“Why can’t you both focus on that place from the start?” Gedris asked.
“I suppose we could try that,” Lilly agreed. “Since the place is special to us both, it might work.”
“So all you have to do is fall asleep on demand?” Tavis asked.
“For dragons, that's easy,” Lilly said. “We find sleeping as easy to do as closing our eyes, but I meant for us to practice this tonight when you sleep naturally. We can keep trying every night, and if we don't make progress, I will see if I can get some help from Sarah.”
“I suppose that is the best we can do,” Ayawa agreed. “But what can you tell me about changing shape?”
Lilly smiled and went through the whole process of looking inward to see the form hidden in the light. She then described how she pulled on that form, thinking of herself as trading places with it. It was a simple technique that required the being to believe that they were the form in the light. Ayawa immediately had trouble with this as she had no idea what image she was supposed to see. Lilly explained that the image was a reflection of her solus, and Ayawa should intuitively know what it looked like.
Ayawa tried to follow her instructions, but after an hour, she was done. She tried to say it must be a dragon thing, but Lilly was sure she was wrong. She insisted Ayawa keep practicing looking inward until she saw something. She was also quick to remind her that once she changed, all she had to do was look inward and focus on her human form to change back.
“I am not sure your dragon methods will work for us,” Ayawa said as she moved to join Tavis and Gedris.
“I don't see why not,” Lilly replied. “We all seem to use the same power, and you humans have a solus just as we do. It must be very similar if only we knew more.” She sat across the fire and looked into the smoke, wondering what they were doing wrong. Her mind began to wander, and she thought about Rose. She couldn't help but feel pain for Sarah, and all dragons caught up in a conflict they didn't understand. They were dying for a difference of opinion and fear over what might happen if dragons learned how to love.
“Lilly?” Gedris called, drawing her out of the thought. “Why is your aura filled with sadness?”
“I can’t help but think of how terrible life is for most dragons,” Lilly replied. “We live so long, but those years amount to nothing. We never build or create anything, and we scorn the humans that do. We think that laying in a hole asleep for fifty years is the only proper life, but what kind of life is that?”
“It must be the life you were meant to live,” Ayawa replied. “It is how your kind has been for thousands of years, even long before you had a human form.”
“I suppose,” Lilly agreed and took a deep inhale of the smoke. “But now that I see what life could be like, I wonder why we never grew beyond that? How did we watch humans and not feel some urge to build something?”
“What for?” Gedris asked. “Much of what humans build is because we have survival needs. It sounds like you dragons don't have that. You won't freeze in the cold or swelter in the desert heat. You can feed on a mound of metals, and when you sleep, you live another life in the dream. So I don't blame you for not feeling motivated to create.”
“I guess I can understand that point of view, but it still feels wrong,” Lilly agreed. “Humans have so much they could teach us if only we could wipe away the curse and see it.”
“But there is no way to remove the curse without binding a dragon to a human,” Tavis said.
“I know,” Lilly sighed. “But I would do anything to find another way.” She paused in her thoughts as she considered rose again. If she could at least end the war, then maybe the dragons would stop dying, and they would have more time to find an answer. The Doan seemed to be the key, but she knew very little about them. They were called the wild men of the west, along with words like pillager, raiders, and barbarians. Gersius said they were a strong and proud people, much like Ayawa's people, giving her an idea.
“Ayawa, do you know anything about the Doan?” Lilly asked.
“The Doan?” she replied. “I know you don't want to meet one. They don't welcome outsiders, often killing men and taking women as slaves.”
“But they must have a culture,” Lilly insisted. “Some methods that they live by. Surely they have families, and social structures like other humans do.”
“I am sure they do,” Ayawa agreed. “But I have yet to meet a Doan I didn’t kill or lead Gersius to kill. Tavis and I have only seen them while scouting Gersius’s military campaigns.”
“The order of Ulustrah forbids us from going west,” Gedris added. “We consider the Doan too dangerous to preach to. Any woman of our order who goes to their lands is never heard from again.”
“So nobody knows what their motivations are?” Lilly asked.
“Didn’t we hear that Rose said they were doing what the dragons told them?” Ayawa corrected. “It certainly explains why they are so organized and using advanced tactics.”
“Nor have they ever come in such large numbers before,” Tavis said. “They fight among themselves as much as they fight the eastern lands. It would take a force like a powerful dragon to unite so many tribes.”
“See, they have tribes like Ayawa’s people do,” Lilly pointed out as she felt this was important. “What makes up a tribe?”
“I can't say that the Doan are the same, but in my people's lands, a tribe is often the descendants of the same blood. Usually, most people in a tribe are related by blood in some way. The only ones who aren't are usually women, who married into the family from other tribes,” Ayawa explained.
“They are expected to adopt the culture and methods of the tribe they marry into,” Gedris added to flesh out the information.
“So the woman leaves her tribe to join the man's?” Lilly asked.
“Didn’t you leave your kind to join Gersius?” Ayawa asked.
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“That's not the same,” Lilly insisted. “Dragons don't form families like that. We consider ourselves one large family, and we don't pair up.”
“Still, you left your ways behind to pursue those of your husband,” Ayawa pointed out. “Just as I left many of mine behind to live as Tavis did. We both have parts of our previous way of life we cling to, but in many ways, we have chosen a new path.”
“I hadn't thought of it like that,” Lilly replied and looked to the sky. “But I love the new way of life, and I wish I could share it with other dragons. I know that if they just tried it for a little bit, they would love it too.”
“None of them are going to even consider it so long as the curse has a hold of them,” Tavis said.
“Why are you going down this line of thought?” Ayawa asked. “What has you thinking about the Doan’s culture?
“I have been thinking about poor Sarah and rose,” Lilly replied. “Sarah is terrified that we will meet rose on the battlefield later, and I can't bare the thought of her suffering another loss. I was thinking that maybe if we could end the war with the Doan peacefully.”
“You can forget that,” Ayawa cut in. “They don’t negotiate.”
“You haven’t even heard my idea,” Lilly insisted.
“Whatever your idea is, if it involves trying to deal with the Doan diplomatically, it is already doomed to fail,” Ayawa said.
“I am afraid Ayawa is right,” Tavis added. “They don't march to war for political reasons. It's all about spoils and conquest. They want to drag back whatever they can loot from the lands they invade. They don't even keep the land, just carry off its wealth.”
Lilly understood what they were saying, but there had to be some way to reach them. Maybe other means of talking to them had failed because of their beliefs, but Lilly had another idea. Rose said they revered dragons, so what if a dragon went out to meet with them? What she really needed was a way to learn more about them, but Gersius only knew them as foes on the battlefield. If only they could capture one and talk to him, maybe that would shed more light.
Lilly tried to express her belief that without the Doan, the dragons could continue to attack. Tavis argued that they were already indoctrinated into the beliefs of the other dragons and would not likely change sides. He also felt that anyone who came representing the empire would be seen as an enemy and not trusted. However, Lilly wasn't prepared to give up and would continue trying to think of some way to understand her enemy. It was the only way she could think of to avoid Rose being killed in future fighting.
She eventually had to return to camp but reminded Ayawa to try the dream walking that night. With a wave, she walked back to the army forming on the plains, her mind desperate for a distraction. She made her way into the tents set aside as a temple for the order of Balisha. Here she was greeted with warm smiles and praises to the high priestess. Still, it wasn't their smiles or praises she wanted; it was the man she knew would be praying at the alter. She could feel him as she got closer and wasn't surprised to find him in mediation alone at the end of the tent.
She hadn't shared any of her thoughts about the Doan with him for fear of what he might say. To him, they were an enemy to be defeated, and thoughts of negotiation would get the same response from Ayawa. She wanted to forget all about it, so she silently sat beside him and gently held out a hand. He took it a moment later, and their fingers began to caress one another. It wasn't long before Lilly leaned into him for support and his arm went around her back.
Lilly sighed as his lips found her neck, and his hand began to wander her back. This was what she needed, a reason to forget the turmoil of the war and be reminded of better things. She turned her head, and their lips met as she closed her eyes and surrendered to him. They made love right before the alter, with Lilly struggling to contain her voice lest somebody hear. She was lost to the passion; her mind focused on pleasing her lover. She never noticed Thayle at the far end of the tent peeking in the doorway to watch everything.
Thayle smiled to see the two engaged in such passion and felt Lilly’s pleasure over the bind. She was close enough that her body was responding, so she retreated and went about her business. An hour later, Lilly was back at the meeting tent, pouring a glass of wine as she smiled in satisfaction.
“You seem happy,” Thayle said as she came in and joined her a the table.
“Hello, my love,” Lilly replied and set her glass aside to pull Thayle into a hug. “I missed you today.”
“Oh, is that so?” Thayle laughed. “You naughty dragon, I saw you two making love in the tent used for Balisha.”
“You saw us?” Lilly asked with a blush.
“I saw everything,” Thayle said with a wink and a wry smile. “But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”
Lilly shrugged and took up her wine, taking a sip as Thayle poured herself one. She knew it was risky to make love in a public space, but she needed the moment to clear her mind. She was glad it was only Thayle who caught them as she wondered how she would explain it to members of her order.
“So you are spending a lot of time with Tavis and his family,” Thayle said before taking a sip. “How is your mother?”
“She is fine,” Lilly replied and took Thayle's hand, guiding her to a chair so they could sit. “But she is hard to talk to about her past. She still has some reservations about dragons and humans mixing.”
“Of course she does,” Thayle said. “Her people went from a civilization that rivaled the dragon empire to a bunch of nomadic tribes because of dragons.”
“And they lost most of their history,” Lilly added as she felt bad for Ayawa.
“Yes, they suffered a great catastrophe and have never recovered,” Thayle agreed. “I doubt they ever will.”
Lilly wanted to say she wasn't so sure about that, but after two days of trying to teach Ayawa, she had doubts. She was careful to keep those thoughts out of her mind because she hadn't told her family what she was doing. All they knew was Lilly went out to talk to her wed mother and occasionally train with Gedris. They all had their hands full with the issues in the camp and the pending invasion of the Doan. If they knew what she was doing, they might tell her to stop or suggest it wait until after the war.
“Thayle,” Lilly began as she had another thought. “If you could find a way to end the war peacefully, would you do it?”
“If I could end this war without spilling another drop of blood, I would,” Thayle said. “I would do it in a heartbeat, even if it required personal sacrifice. Why are you asking such a question?”
“I feel terrible for Sarah, and I keep trying to think of ways to end the war,” Lilly replied.
“Oh, so we don't run the risk of facing Rose in battle again,” Thayle said. “That is very sweet of you to feel that way, but I don't know what you could do. If there was a peaceful way to end the fighting, Gersius would have pursued it already.”
Lilly didn't dare allow her idea to come to mind, fearing Thayle might see it. Instead, she focused her thoughts on Sarah and how she wished she could be in her arms. Thayle reacted with a smile, telling Lilly that she had indeed seen the thought. Lilly leaned over and planted a kiss on Thayle's lips, tasting the wine that flavored them. She loved Thayle and thought of her as her dragon treasure, and right now, she felt like feeding on her hoard.
“You are naughty today. Are you going to pounce on Sarah after me?” Thayle asked.
“If she lets me,” Lilly replied as her smile spread.
Thayle responded by putting her arms around Lilly's neck and taking her into a passionate kiss. The two began to pull at dresses until somebody coughed, and they looked up in a hurry to see Mingfe.
“Do not let my presence disturb you,” Mingfe said as she smiled.
“When did you sneak in?” Thayle asked as she hurriedly tightened the lacing of her dress.
“I do not think I will tell you,” Mingfe replied. “I want you to wonder just how much I saw.”
“You are a terrible friend,” Thayle laughed as she got up. “Is there some reason you interrupted Lilly's feeding?”
Lilly blushed as Mingfe laughed a the comment, then took on a more serious face. “Believe it or not, I wanted to speak with you both. I have a question about dragons and mating.”
“You have a question about how we mate?” Lilly asked.
Mingfe looked about the tent to ensure they were the only ones present, then leaned in close to whisper. She asked if Gersius or Sarah was in the side chamber, and the two nodded. Mingfe then asked if they could move the conversation to the landing ring, so Thayle took them both by the hand and dragged them away.
“Now, why all the secrecy?” Thayle asked once they were inside the ring.
“I have come to love Shadros deeply,” Mingfe said as she smiled. “My near death has made me realize that my time with him might be fleeting.”
“It will not be,” Thayle insisted, but Mingfe waved a hand.
“We march to even greater war and bloodshed,” Mingfe countered. “My time is uncertain, and Shadros has also had an awakening. He wishes me to leave and go back with him to his cave. He thinks he can tempt me with his hoard and promises to care for me.”
“In a way, that is very sweet,” Thayle said with a smile. “But where is this going? Are you thinking about leaving with him?”
“No,” Mingfe said with a shake of her head. “I was thinking about Lilly’s offer. That she could pray to Balisha to allow us a child.”
Lilly chewed her lower lip as she smiled broadly to hear Mingfe was considering having a baby. Thayle liked the idea as well, but she was more concerned with the logistics of it. If Mingfe were to become pregnant, how would she lead her company?
“That is part of what I wanted to talk to you about,” Mingfe said. “We know how reproduction works when the male is human, and the female is a dragon. But how does it work in reverse? Will I have a baby the human way, or will it be an egg like Lilly's?”
Thayle paused to consider the idea and turned to Lilly for help. Lilly could only shrug as she wasn't sure what the answer was. She explained that she had to take her dragon form in order to lay the egg, and since Mingfe couldn't do that, it was likely her child would be the human way. However, she also pointed out that Mingfe should have a dragon form by now and that maybe she needed to try taking it.
“I am afraid to do that,” Mingfe replied. “I feel as if a part of my humanity will be gone if I do.”
“Nonsense,” Thayle said. “I was frightened by it the first time I took mine, but I quickly learned that it was fun to have. I have even used it in battle a few times.”
Lilly thought of how funny this situation was. She was trying to teach Ayawa this very thing, and now Mingfe needed to be taught. They debated the issue for several minutes, gaining no ground. It was only when Lilly assured her she could change right back that Mingfe agreed to try.
Lilly explained the process for the second time that day. First, going over how to look inward and see the image in the light, then call on it to switch places. She warned her about every step and how it would feel so she wouldn't be surprised. She then suggested that Mingfe undress before she tried it and smiled as the woman's nude body was exposed.
Thayle smacked her rear when she read Lilly's thoughts but smiled herself when Mingfe stood in the center of the ring. Lilly and Thayle stood to the side as Lilly walked Mingfe through the process again. Mingfe closed her eyes and looked inward, citing that she could see a beautiful light.
The two women gasped as white smoke began to pour from Mingfe's skin, and in a moment, she was shrouded in a swirling cloud. A light flashed, and the cloud began to dissipate, leaving behind a new creature.
“Oh, she's so pretty!” Lilly exclaimed as they looked at the tall, sleek woman with black scales for skin. She was nearly a foot taller than she was before, with clawed hands and dragon-like feet. Her blue eyes blazed with fire, and her black wings looked like a patch of midnight.
“It has happened?” Mingfe cried as she held up her arms. “How in the name of the goddess?”
“You share a solus with a dragon,” Lilly explained. “That makes you a dragon as much as him. His power slowly overwhelms you, and his love empowers you with his gifts.”
“I cannot believe this is possible,” Mingfe replied, turning her head to see the wings. “Does this mean I can fly?”
“You sure can,” Thayle said. “Just like you saw us doing that day, you rode Shadros up to scold us.”
Mingfe turned circles as she realized she had a tail with three small spikes near the end. She picked it up and played with the end, still not accepting that this was her body. She eventually turned back to the others with a quizzical look on her face.
“Why do I feel an intense desire to have Shadros now?” she asked.
“Ha,” Thayle laughed. “I feel the same way about Gersius when we are in our dragon forms. I honestly think we feel something of the dragons calling.”
“You think you feel the calling in your dragon form?” Lilly asked.
“Sweetheart,” Thayle said and put an arm on Lilly's shoulder. “When I see Gersius in his dragon form, I want him. When I am in my dragon form with him, I feel a hunger that has to be fed. I don't know how else to explain it. I just need him, then and there.”
“Maybe it is the calling,” Lilly agreed as she couldn't deny what Thayle was saying. It must be another of the dragon's gifts, the intense desire to mate when the time was right. Still, Thayle was far too young to feel the calling unless it worked differently for humans.
The three debated the possibility until Mingfe announced she could deny it no longer. She focused on changing back and, in a cloud of white smoke, became herself again. Despite the change, she still wanted her husband's affections and bid them to keep the dragon form between them for now.
“Go and enjoy your husband,” Thayle laughed. “We girls know how to keep a secret, don’t we?” Thayle added and winked at Lilly.
Lilly nodded as Mingfe hurriedly dressed and ran off, eager to satiate her desires. It left Lilly wondering if Ayawa was right. Perhaps the change was something only dragons could do. She let the thought linger in the back of her mind as she and Thayle returned to their kiss. They shared an intimate moment that wasn't interrupted this time, and the two made love under an open sky.
That night Lilly lay awake, waiting until the others were fast asleep. Sarah was still wrapped in Gersius's arms, her beautiful red hair carpeting her back. Thayle was asleep at Lilly's chest, dreaming of walking through a forest. Lilly closed her eyes and tried to focus on the image of the west wing in the temple of the east gate. She tried to recapture some of the feelings of that place, but it was all in a jumble. So many things had gone through her mind in those days, and much of it was spent in anger. She tried to focus on when Ayawa braided the flowers into her hair, but that too didn't come clearly. She was about to give up when she had a sudden inspiration. She slowed her breathing and felt the shock and turmoil as she walked into Gersius's room and undressed before him. She remembered that moment as if it had happened yesterday, the feeling of uncertainty mixed with need. She could easily recall the touch of his hands as he swept her up and announced she would be sleeping in his bed from now on.
Lilly focused on the smallest part of that moment, the way her heart melted as he leaned in and said.
“I love you, my wife.”
Lilly opened her eyes to see she was standing in a small room with two simple beds. It was the same room she remembered from Eastgate to the smallest detail. She turned about to see who had spoken but was alone in the room, the words part of the memory. It was the first time he had ever addressed her as his wife, and she cherished it as one of her greatest treasures. She longed to relive that moment and be in his arms, but unfortunately, he wasn't there.
“Ayawa?” Lilly called as she went to the door and pulled it open, stepping onto the balcony that acted as a hall to the west wing. “Ayawa, are you here?”
All she heard was the sound of wind in the canyon and the drip of water. Lilly was disappointed she was alone but excited that she had managed to do it. She had entered the dream by desire and found a magic way to do it. It was the strong emotion attached to the moment that made it possible and rendered the image in her mind crystal clear. She became so excited by her accomplishment that she lost control, and her eyes came open in the waking world.
With a growl, she shut them again and repeated the process, returning to that moment and filling her heart with how it felt. Once again, she was in the room, and this time she tried to remain calm, avoiding the temptation of excitement. She went back into the hall and looked around, wondering if this moment held any magic for Ayawa.
Lilly began to pace, hoping Ayawa would appear, but she started to feel strained. It was a chore to hold on to the image of where she was, and she felt her connection thinning. A few minutes later, she was awake again, staring at the ceiling in frustration. She was making the connection but didn't have the discipline to hold it. Sarah had years of practice, and proper training, not to mention her age, gave her greater power. She could not only hold the dream but take people with her. Lilly wondered why taking Rose to the garden was so easy. It was Sarah who was holding the dream, but Lilly's emotions had overwhelmed them.
She lay still and focused on the image again, this time allowing herself to feel great love for that place. It was where she married her husband, and Ayawa became her wed mother. It was also where she and Gersius realized their shared love for Thayle and agreed to pursue her. She let all these feelings wash over her while thinking of the room. Once again, she was in the room, but this time the door was already open. She walked outside and nearly jumped when she saw a vision of Thayle leaning on the railing. The image didn't appear to be solid, and as Lilly approached, it faded away. Lilly realized that thinking about Thayle had created an echo of the woman in the dream. She wondered if she could pull Thayle in with her as the woman was currently asleep on her chest. Just as she was about to try, she heard a voice and looked up to see the stern eyes of Ayawa.
“Is this it?” Ayawa asked as she looked around, her image flickering as her clothing and braid kept changing.
“Ayawa?” Lilly asked. “Is that the real you?”
“I –,” the woman began, but she vanished before she could say another word.
Lilly was so excited that she vanished too, returning to the real world even more frustrated. She tried several times, but her excitement to see Ayawa weakened her connection. She never saw Ayawa again and eventually gave up, deciding to speak to Ayawa in the morning to be sure it was the real one she saw. Finally, Lilly settled in for some proper sleep, allowing her mind to drift away. It was so much easier to wander the dream when you weren't trying to control it, and for the rest of the night, she dreamed of being in the arms of her lovers.