Chapter 49: Time to Stretch and Lean

Aside from the long body, this second Tiptap copy looked the same to me as the first. She had a shadowy white aura of fur and the same overall features.

Spinemess, as if possessed by an angry spirit, tossed Jellybee aside and stormed over to Jimbo-no.

“Let me see her,” they demanded.

Jimbo-no complied, handing off the lengthy new Tiptap to the tall dryad.

Spinemess lifted the cat up to their head, bringing her higher into the air.

The cat stretched even further.

There was a long moment as Spinemess, unreadable through the mask, stared into the cat’s face.

The cat purred.

“Uh… ya okay there, Spinemess?” Jimbo-no asked.

Finally, Spinemess spoke in a quiet voice, “She looks so… stupid. I love her.”

I adjusted my glasses and squinted to see what differences my Minions had noticed. My vision wasn’t that bad, was it? Using my Dungeon sight, I got a closer view.

“Oh, I see what you mean. This one appears to be quite … simple.”

Her face had less details. Like a cartoon drawing of a cat. Or a photocopy that had been scanned one too many times.

The cat cocked her head to the side. Then she cocked her head to the bottom. Her top half continued to stretch until she was hanging upside down, forming a long arch.

Jellybee imitated the maneuver by turning around and bending into a forward fold position, his head between his legs. “Meow, Meow?” He asked, face upside down.

The droopy critter greeted him back with a hearty meow of her own.

"Simple? She's a fuckin' dumbass," Jimbo-no said.

“She’s absolutely perfect!” Spinemess exclaimed.

“She’s certainly something. That’s for sure,” I replied. “What do we call this one? They can’t all be Tiptap. It’ll get confusing.”

The three undead erupted into a clamor as they tried to all answer first.

“Butter!”

“Don’t care.”

“I like Mallow. She feels squishy.”

“Henry!”

“Rinafen votes for… ‘Napkin?’”

“What the Hells is a ‘Henry?’ That isn’t even a real word!”

“Is too!”

“I’m not sure it is.”

“Y'all suck. Call her Noodle. That’s a real name.”

I had to cut them off before they kept going. “My, what lovely suggestions! Let’s stew over these names throughout the day and call it a vote later. How’s that sound?”

Jellybee raised a bony hand.

I braced myself. “Yes, Jellybee?”

“What about the other, other Tiptap? Is she safe? What’s her na–”

“Don’t worry. Mischief is safe,” I blurted out.

I closed my eyes.

Crap. I had done it again.

I awaited the System notification.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

Nothing new popped up. I hesitantly opened up my Minion tab.

“Mischief” had not been added to my list of Minions. It was still just “Tiptap.”

Phew.

If names granted power, Tiptap certainly didn’t need more than one. I wouldn't be able to control her at all!

I didn’t understand why “Spinemess” and “Rinafen” were considered separate Minions, yet Tiptap’s copies weren’t. It had to be some sort of Skill or magical ability. Perhaps her copycats were temporary? Or perhaps cats really did have nine lives?

Jimbo-no raised an index finger, then lowered it. “That’s actually kinda cute,” he said. “I like it. Speaking of, where’s Mischief run off to?”

“Throwing a tantrum in your room,” I answered. “She’s upset that she got trapped downstairs.”

“Aww, poor scamp. Guess I’ll go rescue the little sweetie,” he began hobbling down to the cellar.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah. real sweet,” I said. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you could see what she’s doing to your room right now.”

He missed a step, but caught himself. “Which is?”

“Nothing much. Just kneading herself a cozy nest in your bed.” I casually inspected my fingernails. “Using her newfound shadow claws. They’re quite sharp.”

“Mischief, no! Not my captain’s quarters!” He slid down the stairs and skedaddled over to the collapsed tunnel trap.

To help him out, I quietly flipped the Bone Spur Gramophone record over to Work Mode. A jazzy, upbeat tune played.

Then, feeling mentally exhausted, I took a seat.

It felt nice to sit after all that running around. I closed my eyes. I breathed deep, then slumped into my rocking chair as the adrenaline finally wore off. I listened to Jellybee and Spinemess goof off as they played with the new cat. I listened to Jimbo-no desperately heave a path through the rubble.

I smiled.

By golly, I had done it! I had survived my first invasion against a pack of monsters. One of which had been twice my level! Granted, Bonny did a lot of the heavy lifting at the end… But still! Until that point we had been kicking ass!

This felt like a huge achievement. For once, my instincts and I were aligned. My Core instincts reminded me that this was what Dungeons were supposed to do. And, I had to say, it did feel good. I could finally emphathize with all those kids that were addicted to violent video games. I strangely found myself already looking forward to our next encounter.

…Which was also a cause of concern.

We hadn’t been ready for this battle. What if Bonny had been out on the town? What if we weren’t so lucky next time? Worse, what if the next encounter wasn’t with monsters, but with other humans? If Bonny and Brill were any indication, the average adventurer would be a force to be reckoned with.

I couldn’t afford to rest my laurels. I had to grow. I had to constantly seek to improve myself.

It did feel odd to not keep my hands preoccupied at all times. Break time was over.

I managed to open my eyes, then began reading my daily mail:

Just reading these messages tickled that reward center of my brain.

Oh boy, new powers and a Core upgrade? Why thank you! I had completely forgotten that I would get another Mana upgrade at this level. What other exciting new abilities awaited me?

This espresso shot of dopamine was immediately dumped down the drain when I ran into a big blue wall I couldn’t get past:

[PLEASE SELECT ONE:

MANA RENEWAL UPGRADE

MANA CAPACITY UPGRADE]

I was stuck. I had to select an option first. There was no way around it. No matter where I clicked or how I scrolled, it wouldn’t let me peruse the daily specials. This screen was going to hold my “diverse selection of new abilities” for ransom until I made a decision.

Why? This had to be a technological design flaw! A Mana Upgrade should come later, after I knew all my options. How else could I make an informed decision? What if one of my new Powers asked for over twenty Mana? I wouldn’t be able to use it for several more levels. It would add onto my growing pile of unused Powers.

Obviously I could just make a selection and be done with it, but I wanted Bonny’s input. Even if I had previously felt confident with increasing Mana Renewal Rate, I didn’t want to press my luck. It was only a matter of time until I accidentally switched my screen font to Wingdings. She would only be asleep for a few more hours.

Couldn’t I just rest? Hadn’t I earned it?

The quiet voice of my instincts urged me to stay busy. This time my instincts were in alignment with my father’s voice. Even now, I could hear my Pappy whispering in the back of my mind, “If you’ve got time, you’ve got time to clean.”

Both voices were right. There certainly was a lot of cleaning up to do after the battle. And Jimbo-no would need help. My Sweeping Skill would be more effective in person. I should make good use of my time while waiting for a professional opinion.

I straightened in my chair and braced myself to stand.

Tiptap–the original undead–interrupted my intentions by jumping onto my lap. Surprisingly, the skeletal cat’s physical bones didn’t sink through my avatar’s legs. Instead, her shadowy black fur provided a substantial cushion against my ethereal form. The silly creature aggressively rubbed the side of her head against my hand.

“Tiptap, no. I can’t,” I told her. “I have to get up. I have a lot to do.”

In answer, she yawned, took a big stretch, then curled herself into a bony croissant.

“Well, I guess you leave me no choice.” I huffed. “But only for a little while, okay?”

I scratched her under her chin. I closed my eyes. Her purrs vibrated pleasantly against my Soul.

Once again, I was stuck. And that was okay.