Chapter 37: Golden Honey for Rainy Days

Once again, the Construction was enough. All I had to do was click on the recipe, watch the recipe icon box gray out, move a ghostly outline of the invention on top of a side table in the cellar sitting room, then watch Leylines twist and tangle like one of those newfangled 3D printers the kids go crazy about. That was it from me on my end for it to assemble itself in the background. Easier than a dishwasher.

I had no idea how Gamblecraft would affect the recipe, but I wasn’t too worried about it. This wasn’t a monster or even an organic item that could grow rapidly. In fact, it was probably safer than the other Construction I had built in the hearth. The phonograph was invented a good two hundred years after wood stoves were.

Speaking of which–while I waited on the fancy phonograph record player to finish–I checked back on the Neverwatch Pot.

I Soul Strolled back upstairs, receiving not just one, but two pleasant surprises. The first, being a well earned Skill increase.

The second, being that my golden nuggets were done Simmering!

Oh goody!

The lid popped off. Glittery steam rose from the cauldron. The air filled with the sweet, sweet smell of metallic wealth.

Mmm… Don’t that smell good!

During the night when mostly everyone was sleeping or resting, I had tried to Gardencraft some gold. Which was surprisingly more Mana Expensive than I expected. I wasn’t able to Craft gold coins, let alone gold bars. I had to settle on a bit the size of a dime. Or else risk blacking out from the exertion. Even that was difficult. Eventually I succeeded in wrangling the proper amount of Mana, then created a small bit of gold into Jellybee’s quarters. His first paycheck. All snug as a bug, a teeny ore vein visible on his bedroom wall, amidst the mushroom decor.

Since that experiment didn’t work like I had hoped, I instead turned to automating the process by using my Pyreplace Simmer Power and passively Crafting a whole Pot of gold. This was certainly cheaper, but once again, the System didn’t give me much leeway on the amount I could make. I wasn't looking to make fool's gold here. I wanted the real deal.

Part of me had hoped that I could have used Gamblecraft during the Crafting process to increase the quantity or quality, but no dice. Sadly there would be no mother-lode for me today. The recipe was too far along by the time I had leveled up and received that Skill. As they say, a watched Pot never boils.

Best of luck next time.

I half believed the System was conspiring against me. Did it recognize that gold had value in this world? I doubted that. Business is business, no matter the place. I could earn gold well enough on my own by Gardencrafting up some heavy lumber. Processing a big tree doesn't come cheap, even with magical wood cutting axes. After that, all I would have to do is find a buyer and a way to transport it, then sell the products for a steady cash flow. At the end of the business day, the only difference between selling lumber to merchants and directly Crafting gold was that I was cutting out all the middlemen.

I wondered if it was because gold wasn’t related to my specific Affinity for Connection. Which also didn’t make sense to me. Even if the Element didn’t make much sense to me to begin with. You literally can’t make money without other people involved. No matter the job. Even if you somehow could, the money would have no value.

After all, money connects us all.

Perhaps the itty bitty quantity of gold mass I Dusted off the mirror was not enough?

I was kicking myself for not asking Bonny to run some errands for me while she was out. I would have to remind myself next time to have her pick up some random objects for me to play with. I could experiment with how mass and quantity affected the cost of creating things within the Dungeon.

Once again, I had the feeling I wouldn’t be having all these questions if the flight attendant lady hadn’t been so rude during character creation. Zero out of ten star review: terrible customer service and I want a refund.

Regardless, I didn’t ultimately care why the System wanted to overcharge me for this subscription they had so generously provided. The Pyreplace Simmer let me conjure up a little bit of gold. And that was good enough for me.

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The glittering steam dissipated into the air. The churning liquid came to a standstill.

I stared into the Pot to see how much gold I had made. I had avoided peeking so far because I didn’t want to count my golden nuggets before they hatched. Despite my reservations, I was still disappointed. There wasn’t a lot. A few nuggets here and there, but it was mostly flakes of gold that settled onto the bottom. There was also a bit of dirt and other minerals, which I found interesting. I had not put those materials into the receipt. Had the Pot tried to emulate natural landmass formations and running rivers to create the gold, as a shortcut?

Impossible. Absurd.

That would have meant that I had condensed centuries and eons of geologic activity into a short few hours. I supposed that this world was full of magic. Just like a cellphone or TV remote, whatever witchcraft happened in the Pyreplace was beyond my mortal understanding.

Still. This was a mighty fine prospect, if I do say so myself. The Neverwatch Pot had done the heavy lifting on the Mana investment, so I had basically created money from thin air. If I kept Simmering gold every night I could have a decently pretty pile to hide under the mattress for a rainy day.

The only issue was… I couldn’t physically use it. If I reached into the Pot with my Soul Stroll avatar I couldn’t grab any of the nuggets. Nor could I pan for the gold and sift out the impurities.

In the end, I needed help.

“What do you think, Tiptap? Time to earn your keep?” I looked at both of her, each in turn. .

Both looked away.

I scoffed. “Freeloader. You’re worse than the others! You bring nothing to the table except for two mouths to feed.”

As if trying to apologize, the black shadow Tiptap stood up to stretch, then tumbled off the brick hearth shelf. She quickly righted herself without skipping a beat and rubbed against my leg, purring.

I placed my hands on my hips and stared down at her. “You can’t cute your way out of this. There’s still a savage rooster on the loose that you’ve done nothing about.”

Her other white copy joined her. They purred against both my legs. My faux sternness melted and I could no longer keep up the facade. “Fine! I forgive you. But only because you’re a cute klutz and would be hopeless without me.”

That left my other Minions. Or Bonny.

Jellybee, bless his soul, couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.

Asking Jimbo-no for help was a laughable idea. He’d pocket anything he sifted, then complain that he had to work for his own reward. No, I wanted to slide those written checks over in a normal, steady manner. Ideally so that I could bounce the checks if need be.

The witch was out. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, but also, yeah, I didn’t trust her. It wasn’t like I wanted to keep another secret from her, honest. The young woman was sweet, but we had a working relationship. Workers exist to make money for their employers. If she found out I could make literal money for her, she might decide to work me like a dog. No thank you, I already served my time. I had no desire to go back to stamping my time card every shift. This Dungeon job was merely to keep me sane during my afterlife retirement.

That left Spinemess. And considering they had managed to keep quiet about everything so far, I figured they were a safe bet.

So. How to have them help me hide this big ol’ Pot of gold without the others noticing? This lucky leprechaun had been out of rainbows for a long time. We sadly can't hide it under one of those.

I loosened my focus on my avatar and spread my consciousness through the Dungeon, looking for ideas.

It was a nice day again. Robins chirped, insects buzzed, and leaves rustled in the breeze. A few butterflies danced amongst the thistles. The blue crested cock periodically strutted in and out of my Dungeon intermittently, while keeping a keen eye on Bedknob, who was also prowling along the perimeter. Jellybee was finishing up with Bonny’s laundry on the clothesline, letting them dry in the sun.

I breathed deep. I absentmindedly leaned down to give Tiptap and her negative photocopy headpats.

For the moment, I could enjoy this. Especially since I picked up on barely perceptible telltale signs that told me these sunny days wouldn’t last. Autumn was encroaching. I didn’t know how seasons in this world worked, but I had a hunch that they would be similar to back home. Just the same as rain would probably work the same way. I perceived a slight drop in pressure. The breeze had a distant taste of petrichor. And less sunlight reached my cottage roof than normal. While I couldn’t see the sun or sky exactly, I had a feeling that it was cloudier than yesterday.

Along with that forecast, other shadows cast themselves upon the Dungeon.

Even within the pleasant countryside, nature did what nature did best. Ants marched through the underbrush, pheromones mobilizing them for war with a slug. The rooster, finding a tasty treat, snapped at a passing beetle. And I watched with keen interest as another eusocial group of insects readied for battle. Within the old oak tree, a queen bee emerged from her candied honey bottle and into a golden honey arena filled with competition. In the background, my consciousness sat next to spectating workers, front row seats to the royal duel to the death.

Truly all good weather comes to an end. Yet I now had an idea on how to go about saving for rainy days ahead.

“Looks like a storm’s a brewin’ tonight,” I muttered to the Tiptap twins. “Might as well take advantage of the nice weather while you can.”

Taking the hint, the original yawned, then trotted out into the garden, side by side with her copy, black and white tails curled around each other.

I followed them out with my Soul Stroll. They immediately went up to the skeletal walking laundromat and began harassing him by jumping at the swaying clothes. While he was trying to shoo the cats away I asked him, “Jellybee, dear, when you’re done can you place the wash bin next to the hearth? And after that, would you kindly stick your head in that big oak tree? I think you should check up on your queen. She’s woken up from her slumber and may be in need of a brave knight to come to her aid.”