Chapter 45: Juvenile Behavior

“Wha-? Attack? Where?” Jimbo-no threw aside his craft project and hobbled as fast as he could over to the front window.

At the same time–displaying a surprising amount of unspoken coordination–both Spinemess and Jellybee took their own positions. Spinemess stood before my Core, pine needles unsheathed, while Jellybee rushed to the backdoor that led to the yard.

“What are ya talkin’ about, Gran? I don’t see anybody.”

“Same,” Jellybee confirmed. His eyes flared. Sickly orange patches of mycelium and mold had suddenly started to grow from the skeleton’s kneecaps and a scapula.

Good to see their military training hadn’t gone completely to waste! I briefly wondered if Spinemess had some sort of Skill related to leadership. Or if the two bozos shaped up in the presence of a potential commanding officer. Spinemess had been the one to follow through on the completion of their message delivery, after all.

“They’re inside the Dungeon. Bottom floor,” I said. “They tunneled through the basement.” I winced. “...And they’re tearing up the place.”

“What are they?” Spinemess asked. “Goblins?”

“I don’t know. Some sort of giant rocky worm… thingies. With crystal teeth. Oh Jesus…”

There was an explosive sound. The cottage trembled.

“What?” They all asked simultaneously.

“They just shot lasers from their mouths. Directed at the basement ceiling.”

Their attack had been aimed directly towards where my Core sat, located two floors up. Dirt and debris rained down upon the worms.

“Ah, shit, that’s all?” Jimbo-no relaxed. “Orphworms ain’t too bad.”

“They don’t often come up this far very often, though,” Spinemess mused. “How many are there?”

“Three. No, hold your horses. There’s five. Two more just dug through.” A pause. “Actually… make that six.”

“Okay, so that’s bad,” Jimbo-no stiffened. “Any of them got arms?”

“What? No, they’re worms.” I took another look. “Yup. That last big one has arms.”

Gross.

“Okay, so that’s really bad.” Jimbo-no opened the front door and casually saluted. “Good luck, old timer, it was nice knowing ya.” He put his worst foot forward.

“Jiminy Goddamn Cricket!” I yelled. “Cease that childish behavior and get right back here this instant!”

There was no way I was dying to a bunch of mouthy earthworms. I would survive this. I had survived worse parasites before.

Like lawyers. Or health insurance agents.

Well, come to think of it…

I did die in the hospital while waiting for my insurance claims to process.

“I need you with me, Jimbo-no. Please. Wake up Bonny. She’ll be able to get help. Throw things at her door if you have to. Then I need you to help Tiptap with protecting my Core.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

He pulled his foot back and closed the door. “Alright, fine! But only because ya taught Spinemess how to make me a cool hat.”

“Spinemess, I need you to hold them off while I work some magic. Meet my avatar downstairs.”

The tall bone dryad glanced briefly behind them, towards my Dungeon Core. Then, slowly, they nodded before jogging down the steps to the cellar.

Outwardly, I displayed a sense of control. In a previous life I had spent years working in the medical field. Without exception, in times of medical emergencies, people needed calm authority figures that had all the answers. They needed direction. This was no different. I had mentally prepared myself for this invasion the moment I started fishing around for the source of that music. As long as I had the proper training and rehearsals, I could put on any mask.

Inwardly, I was panicking.

There was no mistaking it: these were actual, real, goddamned monsters!

I honestly hadn’t expected an attack to arrive so soon. Worse, I had no idea what level these creatures were. Inferring off Jimbo-no's words, the one with arms was probably of a higher level? At least enough to be a threat. For all I knew, it could be level 100. I had no point of reference. All I knew was that my Dungeon basement was now filled with writhing laser worms.

Did I release her?

Heavens no. The lair wasn't ready yet. Only as our last hail Mary. We didn’t need another crisis on our hands!

“What about me, Granny?” Jellybee asked.

“Jellybee. Yes, of course. I need you to cast brick. A lot.”

Jellybee’s jaw cracked into a joyous smile. His frame rattled from excitement. Or was that Mana? Then the boy’s legs and shoulders positively bloomed with deadly looking mushrooms.

I didn’t await further response from my Minions. They had their orders. I had to trust them to follow.

I ended my Soul Stroll, then reactivated it immediately downstairs. Right next to the giant wriggling creatures. The Orphworms were even uglier up close. And strangely … prettier? Bits of gems and crystalline chunks encrusted their segmented armors. Like someone had taken a BeDazzler to one of those Dune book covers I sometimes saw when thrift shopping.

Their shiny, fashionable hides weren’t enough to dispel my fear. The rock plated sand worms thrashed about in the falling debris, seemingly ignoring my avatar’s presence. I hadn’t even installed adequate lighting on this floor yet, but I had a feeling that these creatures didn’t have a strong sense of vision. If any vision at all. I saw no eyes.

One of them, the biggest, did have a set of long arms near the front of its body. It scrabbled about with curved claws the size of trench shovels.

I had mistakenly lured these creatures in.

They were here for me. Even now, they intended to follow my Leylines to the source. They slithered and wriggled, heading to the next floor up.

Maybe I could continue to be the bait.

I took a step forward. “Good morning, fellas! So nice of ya’ll to drop in! Next time could you do me a big favor and use the front door?”

The creatures stilled.

Then, all at once, the worms ‘faced’ towards me. Their jagged throats spun clockwise. Mana tumbled around like a laundry machine inside each one. They let out a cacophony of crystal screeches. Crystalline blue light gathered and coalesced within their maws. Their lasers were primed.

Well, that wasn’t good.

I ended my Soul Stroll.

A barrage of laser fire tore through the solid layer of rock behind where I had just been standing. Rocks, dust, and soil went flying.

I reactivated it again, this time on the other side of the room and behind the group.

“My! What good helpers! You have no idea how much we hated that part of the wall. It gave us quite the headache.”

They turned, ‘staring’ eerily with those circular gnashing rows of teeth.

No lasers charged.

Instead, they all surged upon my avatar.

A prickly pinecone dropped into their midst. It smoldered with green smoke.

It bounced up once.

Then twice.

It landed straight into the charging mouth of a worm.

Then it exploded like a grenade.

Witchpyre erupted from within. Shrapnel made of long needles launched from the pinecone. The worm became a fiery pincushion.

It writhed in pain. It screeched in rage.

The creature turned upon the source of the projectile. Its maw began to churn with energy… Only to receive a brick against the head.

Which, naturally, after a moment, also exploded.