Chapter 48: Sharing Experience, Making Friends
There were a whole lot of notifications I had missed during the chaos. I couldn’t wait to dive right in. But I had to do some damage control first.
I Strolled into the living room. “Bless your soul, Miss Kettleflar!” I said. “I thought I was a goner!”
Bonny glared daggers at my avatar.
“Look! I didn’t know my Aura went farther than the Dungeon boundaries! I swear!”
Jimbo-no wobbled to his feet. “That’s what Auras do. Ow…” He rubbed his hip bone. “They’re like calling cards. That’s how they scare off weaklings.”
“Not the Aura,” Bonny clarified. “The monsters. Who’s idea was it to go hunting for orphworms last night?”
“Nobody! They attacked us. Honest!” I said defensively.
Bonny folded her arms.
“It’s true, mistress! We were knitting all night!” Jellybee said. He was being princess carried up the stairs by Spinemess.
She sighed. “Whatever. Is that the last one?”
“Yes. Well. No. Um… Hold that thought. Be right back.”
I Soul Strolled away.
“Wait? What did you say?” Bonny asked the undead. “You were knitting?”
****
Tiptap's shadow clone emerged from her hiding spot after the explosions stopped and the falling rocks settled. Every white hair on her ethereal body stood on end.
She cautiously crept out from underneath Jimbo-no's ramshackle pillow fort and poked her head into the hallway. Nothing moved. The hall seemed safe enough, but her way back to the upstairs was blocked.
Why had the nice ghost woman put a door here?
She clambered onto the pile of rocks and meowed.
Nothing.
Not even the sound of approaching footsteps. The only thing she could hear through the rubble was that noise machine playing soft music.
She meowed louder.
Still nothing.
She yowled.
The door refused to open.
Distraught by the lack of attention, the copycat hopped off the rubble and padded down the hallway. She saw no point in waiting around. She would just have to find someone to let her out.
She poked her head into each of the other rooms, trilling in greeting.
Still nothing.
Where were all the people? Both the skinny ones were gone.
Even the tree was gone. Had somebody moved it?
She didn't like the tree. It gave her too much attention.
Down the new stairwell she heard a creature making noise.
She prowled forward to the top step and peeked over the step.
It wasn’t a person. Or a tree.
It was a bug. A big, long bug dangling from the wall, flopping about like a fish nailed to the wall.
She was captivated by the tantalizing movement.
How could she resist?
She entered hunt mode. Slicker than moonshine, she slowly approached. Every time the worm wriggled, she would pause, then continue as soon as it stopped moving.
Soon she was within range.
She shimmied into a pouncing stance. Her whiskers twitched. She instinctively calculated her trajectory.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“Leave it alone, Tiptap,” a voice said.
The copycat jumped at the woman’s sudden appearance, leaping backwards. Her hair spiked in fear.
“Ha! Caught you, mischief maker!”
The shadow clone relaxed. She greeted the lady with a happy trill, then went right back to cat calculations.
"Tiptap! Don't do it!” the old woman said sternly.
The copycat ignored her. She was Tiptap. And she also was not Tiptap. She felt no need to answer to that name.
She leapt onto the creature’s body.
“Get down from there! It’s dangerous!”
The worm was lumpy and covered in rocks? She prodded one of the hard parts with a paw. The creature didn’t respond. Which wasn’t very fun.
"Don't you dare!"
But that had been an effective way of getting the ghost woman’s attention.
She unsheathed her claws and playfully batted at the softer parts of the worm. She held on as the creature struggled. Muddy ichor dripped from pierced needle wounds.
That was fun.
She swiped at it. Four small blades of shadow left the tips of her claws, darkness made real. Four separate gashes tore through the rocky hide.
The worm screeched and made a horrible grinding noise from within. It flailed about. More muddy ichor poured from the cuts.
“Tiptap, stop! I need it alive! You can have your fun after I’m done with it.”
Unfortunately, she was already bored with the creature.
She held on tight and chomped down on its head.
“No!”
A projection of shadowy fangs sprung from her tiny mouth.
The worm’s head crunched inward, clamping its open maw shut. The grinding noises stopped as sharp crystal erupted from the creature’s skin.
The copycat yelped in surprise and jumped off the creature.
The worm continued to feebly flop around for a bit. Then it slowly went limp.
Disappointed that the fun was already over, she sat back on her haunches and groomed her ichor soaked paw.
****
I returned upstairs.
"...And that's how Granny taught us how to be hookers," Jellybee was saying. "Oh, hey, Granny. I gained another level while you were gone!"
“Yeah,” I huffed. “That’s the last one."
Jellybee counted on his fingers. “That's...two, no, three levels!" Jellybee cheered.
“Same,” Spinemess replied. “Except I gained two. Rinafen gained the other one.”
“What the fuck?” Jimbo-no asked. “I got nothin’!”
I was vaguely aware that I had probably leveled up, just based off the sheer amount of messages I had received, but I wanted to celebrate my Minions first. I opened up my Minion tab:
LUCILLE SQUALL, DEMONIC PLUSH GOLEM (LVL 4)
SPINEMESS, UNDEAD BONE MAGE (LVL 4)
JELLYBEE, UNDEAD SKELETON SAPPER (LVL 5)
TIPTAP, UNDEAD SHADOW CAT (LVL 5)
JIMBO-NO, UNDEAD SKELETON BRIGAND (LVL 6)
RINAFEN, DRYAD SPIRIT (LVL 8)
“Damn cat,” I whispered. “I can’t believe it. Tiptap also gained three levels?”
“Da fuck?” Jimbo-no sputtered. “The fuckin' cat leveled up AND I DIDN’T?”
"Anyways," I coughed. "Regardless of received levels, you all did amazing. I'm proud of you all."
Bonny yawned. “That’s nice. I’m going back to bed.” She turned to leave.
“Before you go, Miss, what do we do with the corpses?" I asked.
I had a feeling I wouldn’t get the answer I wanted.
"What? Oh, yeah. Uh... Have your Minions bring them down to the new floor,” Bonny replied. “We can sell them later for materials. Crafters can make use of the monster parts."
Figures. My experiments would have to wait.
Spinemess and Jellybee saluted, then grabbed the big orphworm by the arms to haul it away.
"Actually… Don't." Bonny winced. “That’s a bad idea.”
Or maybe?
"I forgot your Minions are undead. We don't want to risk the bodies turning into zombies in a few days. Just…” She pinched her brow. “Fuck, it's too early… Just Trash them.”
“Trash them?” I asked.
“Eat them. Delete? Whatever it is that Dungeons do? Just get rid of them. I don’t care. I'm going back to bed."
“Got it,” I said. “You can count on me.”
“Wake me up in a couple hours." Bonny gingerly climbed up the shattered steps, muttering, “Stupid monsters. Stupid rain. Stupid stairs…”
"How?" Jimbo-no asked. “The Dungeon doesn’t go that far up. I couldn’t even knock on your door!”
"With coffee. Obviously," Bonny said. She slammed the door to her room.
A thought crossed my mind: Just how strong was Bonny?
She killed a level 10 orphworm in a bathrobe. Did she even level up from that?
“Ya heard the lady, chop chop,” Jimbo-no said. “Ah! there ya are, ya mangy freeloader! I’ve got a bone to pick with ya!” A fuzzy white Tiptap had been wrapping around his feet. He reached down to pick her up. “Oof. I see ya already put your levels to use, ya big loaf!”
Odd.
That one had just killed the orphworm below. I hadn't had a chance to clear the rubble yet. She should still be downstairs...
I glanced over to the kitchen. The original was hiding under the table. Her undead eyes flickered in the darkness.
“Uh, Jimbo-no?” Jellybee pointed. “I don’t think Tiptap is supposed to stretch like that.”
“Whaddya mean? She’s fine!” Jimbo-no held her aloft, under the arms, face to face. He glanced down. “OH. That can’t be good.”
Her hind legs were still touching the floor. Her ghostly white belly had stretched out, as long as a slinky.
He looked back at her face. His eye flame squinted. “Yup. This one’s different. Looks like the damn cat made herself another friend.”
The long, long cat meowed happily.