Chapter 28: Just Happy Little Trees

Within the last half hour I noticed Bonny return to the Dungeon. Along with the burly man from yesterday.

I instinctively reacted with fear, then pushed aside those concerns. The bearded man carried luggage in each arm. Even when crossing into the backyard and coming across Tiptap, no axe appeared.

I Strolled out to meet them.

“I told you I’d come back. Uh, was that mushroom there before?”

“I don’t believe it was.”

“Weird. Anyways.” Bonny introduced us. “Ethel, this is my uncle, Brill Fletcher.”

Brill stared.

Silent. Stern. Unreadable.

It made me sweat bullets.

Finally, he nodded. “Where’s her room at?”

“I, uh.”

Oh fiddlesticks.

I had thought about where my undead Minions would have rooms. But I hadn’t even thought about where the homeowner would want to sleep? “There’s a master bedroom upstairs. I never use it. Jellybee, can you show them the way?”

Jellybee saluted. Then led the two inside.

There was an awkward tension within the home. We sat within the living room. I had to Craft up another rocking chair just to make room for everyone.

The air smelled of warm milk, tea leaves, and fresh tilled mulch. An interesting combination that didn’t help much to ease the tension.

Bonny twiddled her fingers and stared at her hands like a guilty child that had taken a peek at their Christmas presents a few days early.

Jimbo-no whistled poorly in the background as he continued to sweep in place, pretending to not eavesdrop.

Brill seemed calm, but I got the impression that his defenses were raised. He sat on edge. Any movement that entered the corner of his eyes was tracked like a homing missile.

I unfairly blamed all the awkwardness on Jellybee’s ineptitude at making a proper cup of tea.

And for spilling half a cup on Brill’s pants.

That hadn’t been a great start to alleviating all our stress.

I coughed and cleared my throat.

“Well, would you look at the time!” I motioned to the Neverwatch Pot. A big flashing ‘0’ was displayed. On its own, the cauldron crane swung forward out of the fireplace. “It’s egg o’clock! Who wants to see what hatches?”

“Ethel… what did you make?” Bonny asked, a tinge of fear in her voice. “And why?”

“Don’t look at me like that. This bed rest started long before you came knocking the second time around. One of my Minions needed a little R&R. That’s all.”

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Bonny sighed. “Fine. As long as it’s not another goose.”

Brill raised an eyebrow at that.

Jimbo-no joined us in the living room. He had discarded his broom elsewhere.

Ever so slowly, the Neverwatch Pot lid slid off, then clattered to the ground.

A puff of verdant green mist, as thick as dry ice smoke, billowed from the Pot.

A dark green hand emerged.

Followed by another.

Then two more.

Four hands gripped the edge of the cauldron in four different spots.

Then a slender figure pulled itself upwards, rose from the cauldron, and stepped out.

Spinemess had been transformed completely. Where before there were only a few bones, now he was a fully developed, tall humanoid with four arms and two legs. From head to toe he was coated in vines, bark, moss, and leaves. Bits of the underlying bones showed here and there, but for the most part he was covered in plant-like material.

In the places where Spinemess didn’t have bones before, the skeletal frame was composed of branches or hardy sticks. Rugged bark covered the arms, shoulders, and knees in patches like natural armor. Vines curled through his ribcage and interlaced together to form the shape of breasts. Layers of leaves and twigs formed hair on his head.

The one major characteristic that Spinemess retained was his stoic expression. Albeit in a whole new form. His face was now a simple, wooden mask the texture of tree bark. It bore four eye holes and a thin line of a curved mouth. Each opening glowed with ghoulish green light, like a sickly jack o’lantern.

The elemental skeleton plant raised his four new hands, rotating them and inspecting them in the light..

“What is it?” Bonny asked.

“A nymph. Maybe.” Brill responded. His fingers twitched. Perfectly primed for perforating.

I glared at my other two Minions.

They took the hint.

The new Spinemess ignored the two guests. He was otherwise preoccupied.

"This is... different." Spinemess said. His voice, or perhaps her voice, was distinctly feminine. Rich and alluring, but stoic and professional. It would have fit perfectly well for a secretary or real estate agent in her early 30's. "This isn't what I had expected."

Jimbo-no burst into uproarious laughter. "This is your fix to Spinemess? By dressing him up as a cabbage and crossing him with a tree lady?” He clutched his kneecaps and wheezed. “This is priceless!"

“Ooh. He’s pretty!” Jellybee said.

Bonny and Brill looked at my two other skeleton Minions in surprise. I ignored them.

"I can try again if you don't like it?" I asked Spinemess. “There might be other forms you could take.”

"I do not find these changes to be... disagreeable.” He looked down upon himself. “My previous body was never quite to my liking. This will take some getting used to. That’s all.”

Jimbo-no was still snickering. “Hey, Jellybee, what should we call him now? Spinelass? Shemess?”

“I don’t expect you’ll listen to whatever I want to be called, Jimbo-no. ‘He and ‘Him’ are fine.” Spinemess raised two middle fingers towards the childish buffoon. ”And so is ‘She’ and ‘Her’.” Spinemess raised another two middle fingers towards him. “I will not take any offense to either.” Spinemess lowered his middle fingers. “‘They’ and ‘Them’ are accurate though. And will also suffice. There are, after all, two souls in this body.” Spinemess clutched at their chest with two of their hands. “I believe the other’s name is Rinafen. Is that right, Ethel?”

I confirmed by checking the most recent notification I had received.

“Yes, that is indeed so.”

I had noticed the presence of the wounded oak tree spirit more than six hours earlier. I had barely noticed her tugging on a Leyline. A small spark of a soul, almost on death’s door, hanging on by a thread.

She might have lasted much longer. She might not have lasted long at all. It was hard for me to say.

All I knew was that she couldn’t survive forever in the wooded grove that sheltered the cottage. It appeared that death came for all of us. Even spirits.

Rinafen was someone in need. Someone that could use a little fixer upper. She needed a place to call home and she had a teensy bit of power she was willing to spare.

I decided to bind her to Spinemess.

As a hunch.

To see what would happen.

It was an egg of an idea. One that had hatched into two happy little accidents.

And it seemed like they had turned out alright.