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Battle Damsels Vol 2: When Damsels Fight Back [LITRPG][No Harem]
Chapter 9 - A Lawyer, a Cat-Boy, and a Damsel Walk into a Bar

Chapter 9 - A Lawyer, a Cat-Boy, and a Damsel Walk into a Bar

I stood up from my crouch and went back to the main road. There were no players visible this time, but I felt the panic attack had passed. What did I have to worry about from a couple of level 20-somethings?

Following the main road in, I passed the outskirts of the town. There was a blacksmith’s shop, a general store, and a couple other buildings that seemed to be there just to flesh out the village. Near the center of town was a tavern, so I went in through the front. As I crossed the threshold, a notification filled my vision:

Entering Safe Zone (PvP-Free Zone)

Well, that was a relief. As I entered the common room, I noticed two players sitting at a table, chatting over a couple of mugs. One of them briefly glanced at me, then did a double take, his eyes wide. He slapped his friend on the arm, then pointed at me. They both watched me with mouth’s hanging wide open as I went to the barkeep actor. His mouth was also hanging wide open, but he quickly shut it as I approached. A barkeep actor was above my pay grade, and he had the training not to gawk for more than a moment.

“Ahem,” he coughed into his fist. “What can I get for you…um, Error,” he added with a confused look. “Uh, sorry, I haven’t seen that before.”

That was something I needed to explore more once I had talked with the lawyers - but then I realized…why? There was no way I was going to stay here. If the lawyers didn’t figure out how to get me out of here, the Game Masters would.

Right?

I thought about ordering something, but I really needed to stop being so cavalier with BigSword’s money. For all I knew, I’d be on the hook for every piece of gold. I had heard from others that the taste in game was decent, but the alcohol effects were not worth it. Think fuzzy vision and loss of balance, with none of the enjoyable parts. This was a 13+ game, so I guess it wouldn’t do to have realistic alcohol effects. But then a thought occurred to me which really pissed me off. You could grope actors, other players, and generally sexually harass others, but a fake buzz was off limits? Not to mention the amount of realistic gore. I mean, BigSword’s corpse had been like a horror movie. But god forbid we allow teenagers to lose a little inhibition.

I felt the heat rising to my face, and I didn’t know why. What about this was making me so pissed? Maybe it was the fact that us actors were put into the game in order to be exploited, abused, an outlet for the player’s desire to control and hurt others. It hadn’t really bothered me before…Or, at least, I hadn’t let myself feel the indignation I was feeling now.

I probably should just chalk it up to the day I’d had.

The barkeep was examining me discretely, careful to hide his expression. I suddenly felt uncomfortable under his gaze, and wanted to be alone. “Nothing for me,” I said. “But I am meeting some people here in a few minutes. Is there a room or something where we can be alone?”

“Well, not strictly speaking. There are a couple rooms upstairs,” he said, pointing at a set of stairs in the corner, “but they’re open doors and can’t be locked.”

I shrugged. “Okay, better than nothing. Thanks,” I said with a wave.

I started towards the stairs, then stopped. “Oh, if some corporate looking folks show up, could you direct them upstairs?” I asked.

His brow furrowed, his head tilting slightly in confusion. “Yeah…sure.”

I nodded in thanks, then started up the stairs.

At the top of the stairs was a hallway with four doors on the right-hand side. I went down and glanced into each room. They were fairly large rooms, each with a bed, a table, and five chairs. I confirmed they were all empty, then went to sit in the first room.

I laid on the bed, and noted it was actually pretty comfortable. But I started feeling self conscious almost immediately. What kind of tone would it set if the lawyers walked in while I was sprawled out? I got up and went over to the table. It was pushed a little tight against the wall, so that one of the chairs was almost inaccessible. I grabbed the chairs and started moving them out so I could drag the table. As I dragged the table, it made a horrible screeching sound on the floor, so I fully picked it up to move it the rest of the way.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

I was in the middle of the room, the table held awkwardly in my hands, when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I dropped the table and went to the doorway just as a man came into view.

He was a level 1 human, dressed in starter gear, his features bland and basic - like he had picked one of the templates rather than customize his look. Behind him, the stairway was crowded with level 1’s, all chatting together in low tones.

“Mr. Davis?” the man in front asked. He did a quick pass over me with his eyes, and I noticed a distinct lingering around my character’s cleavage. Man, that was annoying - virtual or not.

I ignored the look, nodding in reply. “Senior Counsel?”

“Alan Goldman, representing Latimer Limited for Goldman & Shumer. This is my team behind me,” he said with a wave. “Also with me is the CTO of Swords & Sorcery, Jeffrey Holt, as well as a GM that claims to have been in contact with you already.”

Great…

“Well, um…I thought we might want a little privacy, so I started to setup one of the rooms…” I looked at the line of almost a dozen people behind Mr. Goldman. “I’m not sure we can fit everyone though.”

“I see. Let’s head in and see what we can manage, then.”

He stepped into the first room that I had been trying to setup, and took one of the chairs for himself. A series of musical chairs shenanigans went on until someone decided to grab some chairs from the other rooms. We quickly learned that the chairs and tables had programming in place so that they were anchored to a specific room. Ultimately, Mr. Goldman and two of his associates took chairs, while the CTO of S&S and I took the last two. Four more men stood against the wall, while three more were out in the hallway listening. I noticed MoonCrawler out in the hall as well, and we briefly locked eyes. One of his eyes was twitching, and the barely contained fury looked to be boiling just beneath the surface. Something about the man - the way he had dismissed me, talked down to me - gave rise to an unusual feeling of irreverence that was reminiscent of Jeremy. I filled my smirk with as much condescension as I could muster, and followed it with a wink. It didn’t come naturally, and most people might have felt embarrassed at the display. But MoonCrawler took it like a junkyard dog pulling at the end of his chain. I had the distinct impression that the only thing that kept him from trying to physically batter me then and there were the ten corporate lawyers and the CTO himself in the room.

We all settled into our chairs, me at one end of the table against the back wall, while the lawyers and exec were on the other side. It was reminiscent of when a perp gets questioned by detectives, and I immediately felt uncomfortable.

“So, Mr. Davis, let’s jump right in shall we?” Goldman said. “Again, I’m Alan Goldman, representing Latimer Limited. To my right is Jeffrey Holt, CTO of S&S. He’s here to address any technical questions that might arise.”

I hadn’t looked at Holt yet - none of them, really. Other than giving MoonCrawler a bit of shit, I was completely out of my element, and felt like I could crawl out of my skin any moment. Suddenly, I realized that I hadn’t properly greeted anyone, and reached out to shake Goldman’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” I said.

His eyebrows rose in surprise, perhaps at my awkward timing. He reached out and gave me what felt like a limp shake, but I realized he was operating a level 1 character, and I would be massively stronger than him, or anyone in the room for that matter. That filled me with a small amount of confidence, but it was fleeting. I went to shake hands with the CTO - Holt. He gave my hand a disdainful look, then said, “I don’t shake hands with hackers.”

“I didn’t hack anyth-” I started to protest, but Goldman stopped me with an upraised hand.

“Mr. Holt, we haven’t received the facts yet, so please remain professional.” Holt seemed cowed, and I realized suddenly that he wasn’t the man in this room right now. Goldman was running the show, and he, at least, seemed willing to hear my side of things.

As if reading my mind, Goldman turned back to me and said, “We’d like to hear your side of things, Mr. Davis. But first, we will need you to sign this waiver.” He pulled up a browser window and flipped it towards me. “Here’s a copy for your perusal. I’ve sent a copy to your employee email to sign.” He sat back, his fingers intertwined on the table. “Once that’s done, we can discuss next steps, and how to fix this mess,” he said with a calming smile.

Finally, someone willing to listen, to help. I skimmed the window in front of me, but honestly, I was just too relieved for a close read. I knew that wasn’t what you were supposed to do, but I was an employee of S&S. It should be in their best interest to help me out of this mess.

“Honestly, guys, I’m just over this whole thing. Tell me what to do to end this nightmare, and I’ll do it,” I said.

Goldman gave me a reassuring smile and an understanding nod. “Of course, Mr. Davis. And we do appreciate your cooperation. If you pull up the email, there will be three places to sign that have been highlighted.” He leaned over and showed me on the window exactly where I would need to sign. “Once we’ve verified that, we can proceed.”

I nodded, pulling up my own browser and logging into my email. The top email was from Goldman & Shumer, so I opened it and immediately scrolled to the bottom. I clicked on the signature box and leaned in to sign when a voice yelled from the stairs, “Don’t you dare sign anything!”