I cleared my eyes and mouth of gore as much as I could. I could see, at least. But the taste of blood lingered, and it was uncomfortably realistic.

“Why the fuck did Al code in the taste of blood?” I asked Jeremy as we marched deeper into the jungle.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, man. I, for one, appreciate the attention to detail.”

“That’s because you don’t have gorilla guts choking you right now!” I said, trying not to gag. “Dude, I gotta get this off of me.”

“Alright, I think I hear running water. Sounds like it’s coming from that way,” he said, pointing west. Now that he mentioned it, I heard it too. We headed towards the sound, and after a few moments, I realized it was the sound of a waterfall.

“Oh, thank god!” I started jogging, and burst through the jungle line to see one of the most beautiful things I could have imagined - nature’s shower.

The waterfall was fine, I guess. I was more excited about the prospect of getting the taste out of my mouth and the chunks of gorilla out of my hair and eyes. The waterfall fell from over a hundred feet above, directly into a lagoon. The water was dark, and the visibility wasn’t helped by the churning water where the waterfall met the surface, but I didn’t care. I rushed to the edge and dove in. The relief was instant, as I felt the layer of sticky blood and matted fur wash away. I broke the surface and gargled some of the water, before spitting it out. I swam over to where the waterfall crashed against the lagoon, and let the pressure hit my head. I had the impression that a waterfall this strong in the real world would have hit me like a hammer, but my body was incredibly strong. I let the water crash over me for a full minute, only pulling away when the need to breathe became overpowering. A breath timer had appeared, which surprised me - sometimes the game felt so real, I forgot where I was.

As I cleared the waterfall, I saw Jeremy waving his hands frantically, pointing at me. It looked like he was shouting, but I couldn’t hear him over the crash of the waterfall. I put my hand to my ear to let him know I couldn’t hear what he was yelling. He started jumping up and down, pointing down into the water with a wild look in his eyes.

What the…I looked down into the lagoon, and saw a dozen pair of eyes looking back at me. “Holy shi-” Multiple pairs of hands suddenly latched around my ankles, yanking me under the surface before I could even get a breath. I kicked frantically, but there were dozens of them reaching out to pull me deeper. I wildly struck out, catching more than one with my fists. The water sapped a lot of the force from my blows, but I still noticed my fists crunching into bone, and the bone giving way. I kept swinging and kicking, but my lungs were burning now. A red warning notification appeared in my vision:

Breath timer: 15 seconds

It was counting down, and I really started to panic. With a wild burst of energy, I cleared the grips off my wrists, and reached down to my ankles. I gripped around slimy, webbed fingers, and twisted. I felt the bones in the fingers snap and let go. More of the creatures attached to me, trying to pull me down with their body weight, but with my legs free, I was finally able to kick to the surface. I broke through the water, my breath timer down to 4 seconds. I desperately pulled in a quick breath, knowing the fight wasn’t over. My breath timer filled back up to a full minute, and I started flailing my fists around, catching the creatures with every swing. My health bar was still full, and when I realized they couldn’t actually hurt me, only drown me, I really started laying into them. In moments, a dozen bodies were floating on the lagoon’s surface, and the remaining creatures had retreated into the depths of the lagoon. I swam with everything I had to the edge, terror crystallizing as I imagined more hands gripping my ankles, back for round two.

I crawled out of the water on hands and knees, my breathing ragged. “Holy…fucking…shit,” I said between breaths. Jeremy was a good fifteen feet from the water’s edge, his eyes wide.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“Dude…” was all he said.

I nodded in agreement. “That was way too fucking close.”

After a moment, he approached, though I could see he was watching the water warily. “You good?” he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, taking another deep breath before answering. “It felt-” I shook my head again. “I felt like I was actually drowning…” That was probably top 3 fears for me, right next to spiders, and burning alive. “How-Why…what the fuck was he thinking, coding in the ability to drown like that? That was wayyyy too realistic.”

Jeremy shrugged. “Maybe it’s just you? Like this is your real body now? I mean, I can try later and see what I feel.” He shuddered. “But not here.”

“Yeah, fuck this lagoon,” I said, getting to my feet shakily. I turned back to the water and flipped the bird at the creatures I assumed were watching us from below.

Jeremy and I went back into the jungle, both of us keeping one eye on the water until it was well out of sight.

I noticed a flashing on my UI, over the quest icon, and I mentally clicked it.

Update!

(System Quest)

Survive

It’s been ten minutes, Ray! Ten minutes! If you die to a bunch of level 40’s, I swear to god, I’m gonna reach into hell and pull you out just to bitch slap you and throw you back in.

Also, Iteration 66 bet me you wouldn’t survive the day, and goddammit if I’ll let 66 get one over me!

Get your head outta your ass!

Reward: You DON’T find out what drowning feels like. Trust me, you really don’t wanna play test this game’s realism level.

I forced myself to take in a deep breath. When the building rage didn’t dissipate, I took another. But it wasn’t helping. So I looked up at the sky, raised my middle finger, and shouted, “Fuck you, Al!”

I was breathing wildly now, but that had been cathartic, and I felt my heart begin to slow. When I had my breath back, I turned to Jeremy who was watching me with a concerned look. After a moment, I just shook my head. “Remember what he said?” I asked Jeremy. “‘You’ll be fine, Ray,’ he said. Practically pushed us out the door. Now he has the balls to chew me out like it's my fault everything in this game wants to murder me!”

Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah, he’s an asshole.”

I nodded vigorously. “Right? He really is an asshole.”

“But,” Jeremy added, holding up his finger as if to give a counterpoint. “He does have a sick-nasty man cave that he promised we could visit at some point…And, not to take his side too much, but he did save your life, so there’s that.”

I sighed, then nodded. “You’re right, I am being a little ungrateful, huh?”

“I didn’t say that…” Jeremy hedged.

“Naw, you’re right. But fuck me if he has to be snarky alllll the time. Look at this,” I said, pressing the share button on the quest so that it populated in Jeremy’s log.

His eyes scanned the air, presumably reading the series of updates for the Survive quest. His eyes got increasingly wider as he read. When he was done, he turned to me. “Goddamn, he really is an asshole.”

I snorted in amusement, shaking my head to clear it. “Oh,” I said suddenly, “we never checked to see if that gorilla kill gave you any XP.”

“Oh, yeah, lemme check.” His eyes unfocused as he presumably checked his character sheet. After a moment, he shook his head. “Nope, didn’t get shit.”

“Damn,” I said. “That would have made things so much easier…” I trailed off, afraid to ask the question on my mind.

“Guess I better get back to the starting zone, then. Toon aint gonna level itself.”

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “You’re okay to keep playing, then? Even if you have to level up legit and all that?”

He gave me a look that said ‘What the fuck are you talking about?’ Then he said, “Ray, what the fuck are you talking about? You think I’m gonna just logout and leave you alone in this murder world?” Now his expression turned angry. “What kinda friend do you think I am?” he asked indignantly.

A huge weight felt like it lifted from my shoulders, and the knot that had been forming around my stomach loosened. “I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I forced you to play in S&S just for my sake? I know you aren’t in to these types of games, and S&S is expensive as shit…”

“Fuck you, Ray,” Jeremy said, though there was no heat behind the words. “You think I’m gonna go back to plasma bolting people while you’re fighting for your actual life? Fuck that. Plus,” he added, looking around the jungle, “this game isn’t so bad - once you get past the murder lagoons and the cheesy fantasy setting. Could even have fun once we get me to max level and you figure out your build.”

I looked at Jeremy for a moment, that quiet feeling of despair that had been lingering over me all day dissipating. I wrapped him in a hug, taking him a little by surprise. “Thanks, Jer,” I said.

“No problem,” he said. “Um, dude…our boobs are touching again.”

I immediately pulled away with a shake of my head.

There’s the Jeremy I know.