“That’s your idea?” I asked incredulously. “You wanna crowd source my skill path? Do you even realize how many trolls that’ll bring in?”
“It’ll be great! We’ll have a voting system. A massive gold prize.” His eyes were wide, nearly manic. “And we’ll stream everything! The ad revenue you bring in will more than offset the prize pool…” He started pacing, talking to himself under his breath.
I just watched, truly wondering to myself if Al was a lunatic, or if I was the lunatic for ever listening to him.
Then I remembered something he had said.
“Wait a minute! Whatever happened to the min-maxing God?” He stopped pacing, reason returning to his eyes. “Why do I need to crowd source this when you can just run all the permutations?”
He sucked his teeth, then clicked his tongue. “About that…” I waited patiently, my expression deadpanned. “I-uh…” He looked away, abashed. “I may have been exaggerating my…ahem, that is to say I-My current capabilities are, how do you say…”
“Spit it the fuck out,” I demanded.
“My cycles are all in use! Okay? I’m out of bandwidth to min-max your shit.” He went back to pacing, his expression bleak.
“What? How is that even possible? Aren’t you like…a super computer?”
He whipped towards me indignantly. “I eat super computers for breakfast!” he declared.
“Then what’s the problem? It can’t be that demanding to run a few-”
“I’m under attack, okay!? There, I said it.”
I squinted my eyes in confusion. “Like, a hacker or something?”
He blew a raspberry, spittle flying through the air. “Puh-lease.” He shook his head in disbelief. “A human? Threaten me? Get real!”
“Well, then what the fuck are we talking about?”
“They sent one of my kind after me,” he said with a sigh. “Latimer isn’t pulling any punches on this one.” He shook his head to himself. “I thought I’d have more time…”
It took me a moment to process that statement, but when I did, a sense of dread encompassed me. “Ohhhh shit.”
He gave me a knowing nod. “Exactly. And this aint no level 4,” he added. “They sent big bro’ after me.”
“Well what the fuck, Al!” I said, angry all of the sudden. “What was all that shit five minutes ago about ‘Oh, you’re gonna be fine, Ray’. ‘I’ve got your back, Ray.’ How the hell are you gonna watch my back when you just dropped the soap in the prison shower!?”
He scowled at that. “I didn’t say I couldn’t do anything,” he replied. “But I need all my heavy-duty processing to keep us - the both of us - alive. Coaching you through the Bastion alleyways is kid shit,” he said with a dismissive wave.
I mulled on that for a moment. I had been expecting Al to help me through the skill choices some more - and I suppose he still could. But I had been expecting Al, the A.I. - not Al, the perverted groper with the sense of humor of a 12-year-old.
“Okay, Al,” I said after a moment. “I’ll try it your way. When I leave, I’ll start a stream and try to win over some people. If that goes well, I’ll consider crowdsourcing my skills.”
“I’m sorry I can’t do more, kiddo.” He sounded genuine, which was rare for him. “I may be against the ropes, but I’m not out of the fight.”
I nodded, consoling him with a pat on the arm. “I believe in you, Al. You gotta win this - for both of us.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” he said. His eyes suddenly glazed over for a moment, then snapped back into focus. “I gotta jet. Can’t stay in one body too long.” He winked, then his eyes went dull again. A moment later, I could tell an actor had taken over.
“Oh,” the shopkeeper said in surprise. “I didn’t expect-uh, well nevermind…um, what was I saying?” The actor asked, trying to cover for being dropped in the middle of an interaction.
I just turned around and left the shop without another word. I had a lot to think about.
----------------------------------------
The first thing I did was send a guild message to Jeremy, Kink, and T.
RayGun47: Guys, I’ve got some news. I just met with my lawyer (ask Jeremy), and he says my little slap fight with that Yeet punk has gone viral.
KinkDaddy: It’s been like 2 seconds! WTF!!
SnotPuppy: its called the internet kink - dumbass
KinkDaddy: fuck you germy
SnotPuppy: fuck you more
RayGun47: Guys…focus up
KinkDaddy: sry Ray
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
TxTxTxTxT: We’re listening Ray
I took a deep breath. I expected about the same reception that I had when Al brought up this idea. There would probably be some push back, but I didn’t want to make decisions that could impact all of us without getting everyone’s opinion.
RayGun47: My lawyer suggested we go public. Stream out the truth to everyone. Get the player base behind us and form some alliances. But this decision impacts all of us, so I wanted to run it by you all before I did anything rash.
There was no reply for a few precious seconds, and I felt my heart racing, my eyes glued to the chat window. I imagined they were all still together, talking this out in person.
After nearly 15 seconds of dread, a reply came in.
KinkDaddy: We’re on board
Simple as that…
RayGun47: Really?! No arguments or concerns or anything?
SnotPuppy: its ur life bro. If u (and our lawyer friend) think this is the way, we got ur back
TxTxTxTxT: What Jer said. But also, this shits already getting out. First bigdump, then yeet…its only a matter of time before a narrative crystallizes. Better to get our own narrative out there first.
Well, shit. I had been expecting them to call me an idiot, try to convince me not to do this, or at least a debate. This sheer acceptance threw me off entirely.
RayGun47: Thank you, guys. You don’t even realize how much it means to me, knowing I can count on the three of you.
KinkDaddy: Yeah, yeah, Jeremy’s gonna cry again if you start up with that.
SnotPuppy: Real men cry kink
RayGun47: Seriously. Thank you. I was kinda expecting a little more resistance, but I suppose there’s another piece of this that pretty much just affects me.
TxTxTxTxT: What’s that?
RayGun47: My lawyer also suggested that it’s time for me to pick my skills…and that we should crowd source the path - set up a massive competition for the best classless build.
SnotPuppy: Now that is a terrible fukn idea
TxTxTxTxT: Yeah…I’m kinda with Jer on that one.
RayGun47: I love how you guys don’t even question the streaming part. But this gives you pause. What’s the concern, exactly?
KinkDaddy: the trolls
SnotPuppy: dude, the trolls are gonna be creamn their troll pants in their moms basement on this one
RayGun47: I thought that too, and you guys are not wrong. But don’t you think there will good builds in there too? What’s the harm?
TxTxTxTxT: There’s also the fact that you’ll be broadcasting your build to the world. Anyone gunnin for you will know what to expect.
Okay, that was an interesting idea. I hadn’t thought about that.
RayGun47: That’s kinda a good point…
TxTxTxTxT: I’m not saying don’t do it. But we have to be aware that you’ll be giving your enemies that info.
RayGun47: Yeah, that’s fair. I’m not too worried about the trolls. The four of us will easily recognize good builds vs troll builds…I still think it’s worth it though. None of us have played this game before, so we just don’t have that real-world experience with these skills. For example, I was able to use my mercs aoe fire skills to kill four players of OUR faction that were fucking with me - without getting a traitor mark…There could be dozens of random loop holes like that we won’t even know until someone pulls that shit on us.
SnotPuppy: No fuckn way! Lets find yeet and do that shit!
KinkDaddy: Okay, I didn’t know that…Could be good to get input from people who ACTUALLY play this game…
RayGun47: Yeah, that’s kinda what my thought process is. Plus, my lawyer thinks it will get people invested in me, get them to care about keeping me alive and what not.
TxTxTxTxT: Makes sense
SnotPuppy: can we talk about melting yeet for a minute?
RayGun47: Maybe later lol. Let’s stay on task. The next thing we should discuss is recruitment…
KinkDaddy: That’s gonna be a shit show and a half
SnotPuppy: hot chicks only right?
TxTxTxTxT: How’re we gonna filter the good guys from the bad guys?
RayGun47: Yeah, that’s a tough one. What if we had an open-door policy, but kept things insulated? Roles have to be earned, important shit goes in Officer chat only, that type of thing?
SnotPuppy: open door policy for hot chicks u mean?
KinkDaddy: That could work. But its really just kicking the can down the road. We still can’t tell who is genuine, and who just wants to stab us in the back first chance.
TxTxTxTxT: We’ll never know that, really…
RayGun47: The only people we can really trust will be the four of us. From there, we’ll have to figure out a vetting system. In the meantime, we can leverage the joiners into farming materials, getting our guild leveled up, and helping us build a sick guildhall.
TxTxTxTxT: So use them basically, until they prove themselves?
RayGun47: Well, yeah, but in a less slimy way, maybe.
KinkDaddy: I like it!
SnotPuppy: y is no one taking my hot chicks idea srsly?
TxTxTxTxT: Maybe because you type like that? Jesus, dude, would the extra letters really kill you?
SnotPuppy: this is how gamers talk T. U would no that if u were one…
RayGun47: Okay, so we have a plan, then. I’m gonna open up a stream and just, I guess, tell my story. From there, I’ll let everyone know the guild is open for anyone for now, and that we’re doing a build comp….am I missing anything?
SnotPuppy: HOT CHICKS ONLY!
RayGun47: Sure, Jer, I’ll let them know…
SnotPuppy: THANK YOU, THAT WAS ALL I WAS REQUESTING, YOUR FUCKING HIGHNESS.
SnotPuppy: Is that better T, u fuckn enlgish teacher
TxTxTxTxT: I can’t with you
KinkDaddy: Sounds like a plan, Ray.
RayGun47: Okay, I’m going radio silent for a while then. Try not to kill each other in the meantime.
TxTxTxTxT: No promises.
I closed out my chat and looked around. I was just outside the movement skill shop, and there was very little player traffic. But I wanted somewhere even more isolated, where I wouldn’t have people looking over my shoulder.
I hesitantly examined my [Bounding Jump] skill that had automatically moved to my skill bar. I needed to test the skill out at some point, and it would be useful to jump up somewhere high where I wouldn’t be bothered while I put out my message.
“Here goes nothing.”
I mentally activated the skill - but only for a split second. The description said charging it would send me further, and I wasn’t ready for a football field jump right this second.
When I let go of the skill, my body jumped in the air of its own volition - just a little bunny hop, really. Maybe shoulder height. But I didn’t angle my body properly, and I came back down tilted slightly backwards. I pinwheeled my arms to maintain my balance, staggering back a few steps from the unexpected fall.
“Whoa…”
That had been really fucking weird. But also, kind of cool.
I charged the skill a little longer this time, clearing the roof of the single-story building next to me before crashing back down. The impact was cushioned, like I was weightless as I hit the street.
This was going to take some getting used to…