The briefest flash of cold encased my body, and then I was through. The world didn’t go black. I didn’t wake up to a burnt corpse of a body. And I was still in the fucking game.
A small blessing, I guess.
In front of me was a path that passed through a small village. The village was in a dilapidated state, the walls crumbling, the roofs mostly missing, and thick cobwebs stringing in all the spaces between. Packs of skeletons and lich were meandering about. The sky was clouded, and there was a shadowed forest at the far end of the ruined village. I pulled up my region map and noted the path led directly to a small town that was marked with a symbol that said Safe Zone. Since I wasn’t going to stay in the dungeon, I figured I might as well hit the nearest outpost and get the lay of the land. Hopefully, I’d be able to find transport or directions to meet up with Jeremy in a bit.
I started down the path, avoiding the mobs when I could. The adrenaline spike from pushing MoonCrawler had me a bit on edge, and I didn’t feel like blowing through skeletons right now. I picked up my pace to a run, and realized that my stamina bar wasn’t full, and was decreasing slightly as I moved. At this rate, though, I could run for hours before it emptied.
I was out of the creepy skeleton village and into the even creepier forest in moments. From the road, I noted a variety of mobs patrolling the forest edge - giant spiders, skeletons, zombies, and the suggestion of even larger mobs that I couldn’t quite see through the trees. They didn’t seem to patrol within range of the road, though, so I was able to safely sprint past them.
The small outpost I had noticed on the map was nearby, and I made the trek in only a few minutes. I stopped just outside the village and observed from a distance.
The first thing I noticed was a handful of players in the town center, coming and going from the central tavern, talking to the NPCs and to each other, or just generally milling about. Their nameplates weren’t visible from this distance, but I suspected that this was a level-appropriate zone for the dungeon I had just left. So most likely, they were all within the level 20 to 25 range. If my interactions with BigSword were any indication, they wouldn’t be much of a challenge for me if they attacked.
I didn’t know why that was my first thought. There was no reason for them to be hostile to me. But I was on edge - the news of my death, the killing of BigSword, and the shoving match with MoonCrawler all serving to put me on the brink of a panic attack. Just thinking about a panic attack had me panicking. I thought I had worked through this!
My breathing started to come faster, louder - and the mere sound of it intensified my anxiety. I immediately got off the road, pushing into the forest where no one could see me from the village. Putting my back to a tree, I slide down into a crouch, my lungs struggling to fill.
Oh, God! I’m suffocating!
I tried to bring up the breathing exercises that had helped me before, but my mind was racing. I’m going to die…again!
A light flashed in the corner of my interface, one of the menu buttons pulsating like a heartbeat. The distraction helped calm me for the briefest moment, and I clung to it like a man hanging over the side of a cliff. I clicked the button, a chat box filling a portion of my view.
***
New Friend Request
SnotPuppy has requested to be your friend. Accept?
Yes / No
***
I spammed the Yes button, relief filling me almost instantly. As soon as I hit yes, a new prompt flashed, followed by a chat group opening between Jeremy and I.
SnotPuppy: I’m in! Penetration of Swords & Shit has commenced!
(Error): Dude! You have no idea how happy I am to see you. I was about to have a panic attack.
I hit enter, then noticed the name attached to my character.
(Error): Wait, why the hell am I listed as error?
SnotPuppy: W/e, who cares! Where r you? I cant get out of this starting zone til I kill like a hundred stupid goblins! This game suckssss…come save me.
(Error): Um, let me see if I can party with you. Wait, how’d you send me a friend request if I don’t have a name?
SnotPuppy: It just asked for ur phone number, and it worked. Idk man
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
I pulled up the Friends menu and clicked on his name. A prompt popped up that let me chat, invite to party, and invite to guild - though that option was grayed out. I hit invite to party, and moments later, a mini character plate popped up beneath my own nameplate.
Party Member #1
Name Snotpuppy Class Rogue Race Shadow Cat (F) Level 1 HP 96/100 MP 12/36 Stamina 17/50
(Error): Cool, at least that works!
SnotPuppy: Ur like a million miles away! I thought u said u were close to the shadow kitty things?!
(Error): Well, ya! It’ll only take me like thirty minutes to get to you.
SnotPuppy: Wait wtf! Ur lvl 100!?
(Error): Yeah…that’s weird, huh?
SnotPuppy: weird!? The GD tutorial just told me the max is 60! And a damsel? I no u said that but still
(Error): Idk, you know as much as me. Just come to me and we can talk in person.
A new pulsing light flashed in my chat window, and a separate tab was created. The title of the tab said: Senior Counsel. What the hell?
I clicked on the tab and there was a series of messages already waiting in the chat window.
Senior Counsel: Hello, Mr. Davis. I represent Swords & Sorcery and their holding company, Latimer Ltd. It has been brought to our attention that there are some irregularities with your in-game character that appear to be in violation of your employee contract.
Senior Counsel: I would like to arrange a meeting with you to get your side of the situation and to discuss renumeration of the contract violation referenced above.
Senior Counsel: Failure to respond will be considered non-compliance and will result in immediate legal action.
Jesus, this was the day that just kept on giving. First, BigSword, then Sandeep, then MoonCrawler, then I find out I’m dead, then MoonCrawler again.
And now this?
What the hell was I supposed to do?
(Error): Hey, listen, I have no idea what the hell is happening. I can’t log out, and the news say I’m dead!!! Tell me what to do and I’ll fucking do it!
Then, a moment later, I added:
(Error): Sorry for cursing, I’m a little stressed.
While I was waiting for a reply, my chat window with Jeremy was flashing, so I swapped over.
SnotPuppy: no way dude, u come to me! I aint running for 30 minutes as a lvl 1! My stamina drains in like 10 seconds!
SnotPuppy: Hello!?
SnotPuppy: Ray, goddammit?
SnotPuppy: Fine, I’m just gonna kill some goblin thingys
(Error): Relax Germy! I’m talking with some corpo lawyer right now! And it seems fuckin serious!
SnotPuppy: Oh…wel no duh it’s serious! Ur dead!
SnotPuppy: And don;t call me Germy!
(Error): I’ll message you after, okay? Just level up as fast as you can.
SnotPuppy: Ya, ya
I flipped back over to the lawyer’s chat, but there was still no response.
(Error): Hello?
Senior Counsel: Please standby. I am consulting with my team.
I lay against the tree, my breathing finally back to normal. Despite all of Jeremy’s flaws, he was a comfort - a familiar presence in this fucked up situation.
Man, I needed more friends. I knew my life was screwed up when a dysfunctional mess like Jeremy was my freakin’ security blanket.
A new message pinged from the lawyer:
Senior Counsel: We understand a meeting outside the game isn’t feasible. We would like to meet in game to discuss your options, but are not currently able to pinpoint your location. Please provide the nearest town and we will rendezvous there with the assistance of an S&S employee.
I wondered about that. They couldn’t pinpoint my location? So, technically, I was off grid? That was a nice little tidbit to remember.
(Error): Ya, sure. I’m near a small outpost called Shadow Vale. Can you get there?
There was a slight pause as they presumably conferred with their people, then:
Senior Counsel: Yes, that is acceptable. We will be there in five minutes.
(Error): See you then