Everyone in the room whipped their heads to the doorway where a commotion was forming among those relegated to the hallway. A powerful-looking man in an elegant suit brushed aside the hallway folk. He had violet eyes that shone in the light, a single upside-down cross earring in his left ear, and small fangs like a vampire. The name over his head read:

[SuckOnThis]

(Level 54)

MoonCrawler put a hand on his shoulder like he was about to pull him back, but the man whipped around lightning quick. “Get your paws off me, cat boy!”

MoonCrawler recoiled like he had been physically slapped, then a hard anger crossed his face, and his hair started going Super-Saiyan again.

“And who the hell are you?” Goldman asked, his friendly tone replaced with hot steel.

The man turned back to Goldman, his face filled with disdain. “I’m Mr. Davis’ legal counsel, SuckOnThis. You can call me Suck, Mr. Suck, Mr. SuckOnThis-” He waved his hand through the air with a casual arrogance. “-or any variation hitherto, etcetera, etcetera.”

Goldman turned back to me, accusation in his tone. “You brought in outside counsel?”

“I-no-I, umm,” I spluttered. Who the hell was this guy?

“And good thing, too,” the man at the door said. “Let me see what kind of bullshit you were trying to get my client to sign.” He tried to enter the room, but MoonCrawler forced his way past to bar his entry. The man looked over MoonCrawler’s shoulder and raised his eyebrows at Goldman. “Any attempt to bar me from my client will result in legal action that will beggar S&S.”

Goldman waved MoonCrawler away, and the GM reluctantly stepped aside.

The man - Mr. Suck, I guess - sauntered into the room and came around the table, co-opting Goldman’s browser window. He scanned it briefly, then scoffed, a smirk on his face. “Ray, you sweet summer child. You have any idea what you almost signed?” He looked at one of Goldman’s associates sitting at the table. “Go stand against the wall.”

The man - who hadn’t said anything until this point - looked at Goldman. “What?” he asked, confusion on his face.

“Give me your chair,” Mr. Suck said. “You’re a fifth wheel here anyway.” He snapped his fingers to hurry the man along.

The lawyer looked to Goldman for help, but Goldman beckoned him to get up. The man stood and went over with his fellows against the wall, a hurt look on his face. Mr. Suck picked up the chair and brought it over next to me. He put the chair down, then looked at Goldman with a furrowed brow.

“This is the part where you all step out.”

The blood rushed to Holt’s face, but Goldman seemed to be made of sturdier stuff. “Excuse me?” he asked, his jaw clenched.

“I can’t exactly have a strategy meeting with my client when the opposition is in the room, can I?” Mr. Suck asked. He smiled, and tiny fangs crested his lips - a predator’s smile.

Goldman pursed his lips in thought, then after a moment, nodded and stood. “Everyone out,” he said.

“You can’t be serious,” Holt whined, bursting to his feet. “This-” He snarled, looking at me. “-actor, has called the integrity of the game into question. Cheapened the entire experience for our legitimate player base-”

Goldman turned to Holt and cut him off with a sharp slash of his hand through the air. “Enough, Holt. The man is entitled to-” Goldman turned to Mr. Suck. “-two minutes with his lawyer.”

Mr. Suck inclined his head in agreement. Goldman ushered Holt out with a firm hand on his back and leaned in to whisper something in the man’s ear. Holt seemed to relax, consoled by whatever Goldman had said to him.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

All the lawyers and the single CTO streamed out of the room. Goldman was the last to go, and pointedly held up two fingers to Mr. Suck. Mr. Suck smiled, his fangs bared, and mirrored Goldman’s gesture, holding up his own two fingers in agreement. When Goldman turned and left the room, Mr. Suck turned his gesture into a middle finger towards Goldman’s back.

Once everyone was down the stairs, Mr. Suck turned to me, grabbing my arm none too gently. “We have about thirty seconds before they pull up a feed of this room,” he whispered. “Don’t interrupt.” His fangs were uncomfortably close to my neck, and an involuntary shiver took me. “Now, I’m going to give you a way to determine when they’re watching, and you are not to take it off under any circumstances. Is that clear?” he asked, his grip tightening briefly.

I nodded quickly. My mouth was uncomfortably dry. I tried - and failed - to swallow.

“Good,” he said with a nod. A notification flashed in my vision, and I clicked on it. It was a party request from the man. I accepted the invite, and his party plate appeared beneath Jeremy’s.

SuckOnThis has joined the party.

Party Member #2

Name SuckOnThis Class Rock God

Race Human - Vampire (M) Level 54 HP 770/770 MP 360/360 Blood 100/100

Mr. Suck reached up and pulled his upside-down cross earring from his ear, then reached up to grab my own ear. I pulled away instinctively, his cold, dead hands shocking on my skin. He gave me an annoyed look, then pulled my head back, jabbing the earring through my own lobe.

“Ow, fuck,” I complained.

“Baby,” he said under his breath.

I wanted to protest, explain how I was feeling everything like it was real, that my pain reducers were going haywire. But then I remembered his warning not to interrupt, and unlike with MoonCrawler, the thought of standing up to this imposing man had no appeal.

“Cold or hot?” he asked.

I just stared at him, my mind blank.

He raised his eyebrows in question. “Colllldddd or hoottttt?” He drew the words out slowly, like I was an idiot.

Maybe I was. “What are you asking me? Am I cold or hot?”

He closed his eyes with a pained expression, a slow, deep breath filtering through his nose. “Ray, I really hope this is just the stress of the day getting to you, and you’re not just a moron,” he said, opening his eyes to look at me intensely. A protest started to leave my lips, but I chickened out under his shocking violet stare. “Is the earring cold…or is it hot?”

My mouth opened as I let out a silent ‘Ohhhh.’ “It’s cold,” I replied, feeling the heat rush to my face in embarrassment.

He clapped his hands suddenly, a smile back on his face. “Great! We’ve probably got about fifteen seconds. Let me know if it starts to heat up.”

I nodded quickly. “Yeah, sure, sure. I’ve never heard of this item before. Where’d you get it?”

He shook his head like a disappointed parent. “You worry about all the wrong things. Now, listen. They’ll do their damnedest to get to you when I’m not around. If anyone approaches you from Latimer, Swords & Sorcery, or Goldman & Shumer, you are to say: ‘I cannot discuss the details of my situation without my lawyer, Mr. Suck, present.’” He raised his eyebrows in question. “Can you manage that, or do I need to babysit you 24/7?”

The thought of having Mr. Suck around to play defense was definitely appealing, but it was too pathetic to ask for. “Sure, yeah, I can manage that.”

He squinted his eyes, a skeptical look on his face. “Repeat it back to me.”

Um, shit, okay, what was it? I closed my eyes as I recited what he had said from memory. “I...um, I cannot discuss the details of my…-”

“Situation.”

“-Oh, right. I cannot discuss the details of my situation without my lawyer, Mr.-Do I really have to call you Mr. Suck?”

He groaned in annoyance. “Ray…”

“Okay, okay. I cannot discuss the details of my situation without my lawyer, Mr. Suck, present. Happy?”

“It just barely passes the basic competency levels of a five-year-old, Ray. Congratulations. Now, when this kicks off, I’m gonna play a little hardball. Follow my lead, say nothing unless I give you the nod-” He gave me that fangs-out smile. “-and enjoy the show.”