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B-But I don't WANT to be a protagonist!
Arc 1 Chapter 5 : It’s raining men, hallelujah

Arc 1 Chapter 5 : It’s raining men, hallelujah

Chapter 5 : Yuri-chan finds love ! EEEEHHHHH?!

(One other month later.)

Umu! It’s been a while since I’ve arrived in the forest, and I finally managed to find where I was, using the map I bought and some real life orientation tricks.

Feet  in the water.

Very refreshing.

Yup, I found the sea, the fresh, salty air is definitely the best!

It’s pretty cold, but since I’ve got [leatherworking] and[tailoring] I made myself a leather armor with white fur inside and outside. It’s a terribly efficient camouflage in the snow!

Along the sea, there were several NPC villages, so I traded, mostly game I caught, in exchange for some products, like an upgrade from pot to cooking station, lots of salt for cooking, but the best was that I found somebody to reinforce my backpack! Now the items weight 80% less weight! Cost me 10 gold, but it was worth it! Besides, rabbits can always respawn…

I’ve killed a whole lot of bunnies and stocked up on ingredients.

Besides, now I have enough skill with the spear that I can confidently take on a giant bear!

Furthermore, I didn’t die once, so I’ve been left alone!

My other skills have increased steadily, so the food and clothes I made started to give out buffs.

My regular appearance will attract too much attention, so I devised a plan!

A messy braid with some hair gathered into a bun to make it shorter, a white fur hat and cape, and those glasses. Should somebody question me, I’ll make Yaoi!Yuri give them her magnificent fujoshi impression !

Lately, I’m always in disguise, it’s easier for me.

My stats are climbing steadily, and I got new skills! Botany and first aid!  Those wolves are pests!

I might have to start moving soon, my bag is starting to get heavy. I re-check its contents to make sure nothing’s missing.

Reinforced Feather Backpack : 20 slotsWaterskinMoney pouch : 6 Gold 90 Silver 73 CopperGood quality cooking knivesCooking stationTailoring kitRegion MapTourist bookBotanic BookHare meat ( assorted meats + organs) x 100White hare pelts x 100Arctic boar x1 (75 kgs)Northern ocean Salt (10 kgs)Herbal bandages x20

The boar weights the heaviest, but I still keep it. Boar meat is delicious. This one I’ll keep for myself. I’ll sell the hares though, I’m tired of rabbits.

I have high hopes for the meat and organs too, because I took it off the bones, which most people find annoying, so it should fetch a pretty coin.

FISH!

There’s a fish in the river! Charge!

Uoh ?!

That shiny scale, that white fat, that pretty, orange flesh!

Salmon! That’s a delicious looking salmon!

Change of plans, I’m staying there!

Aaaah, it smells so fresh and slightly salty, I’m pretty close to the sea after all.

Okay, Martha! (Her favorite cooking knife) let’s do some delicious sashimi!

Look at how easily the knife cuts through the skin…

Well then, Itadakimasu !

It’s so fresh it’s practically melting in my mouth!

*crash*

Huh?

OW !

What was that ?

Ah ?!

A catboy bishounen landed on me?!

Didn’t his mother tell him that it’s rude to land on people?

Wait, What’s a beastkin doing here in the first place?!

Hm, he is pretty good looking, in the aesthetic sense.

Black hair, ears and tail, willful violet eyes, a delicate looking face and a slender body. More of a pretty girl than a boy, but I’m currently bandaging his torso, so I can confirm that’s a boy.

I would let him die if he was a regular male, but considering how feminine he is (even to his backside), he’d probably get involved in some genderbender or Yaoi shenanigans, so not really my problem. Cause I’m a girl, so yeah.

“Uuuuhn.”

Yup, he’s pretty rapeable, totally a sub!

Back down Yuri-oi ! Bad Yuri-oi! He looks like he’s fifteen!

The boy looked embarrassed by his moan of pain and blushed like a ripe tomato before avoiding my gaze. Weird.

I put back my glasses before finishing to tie up his bandages.

Those bandages are herbal bandages, which means that there’s a layer of healing herbs between two layers of gauze, to help with regeneration. It’s a mixed craft, which means it uses several skills at the same time, in this case, first aid and Botanic.

They’re pretty helpful, they act like a supplementary reserve of hitpoints, when you lose some by being hurt, the bandages lose durability to give you health back.

At my level, this gives back 150 hp, which is pretty neat. I have some on me too, just in case.

“So, I know it’s been raining cats and dogs lately, but it’s the first time it’s been that literal.”

*growl*

Ah, we’re both hungry.

Well, he did interrupt my dinner after all.

I give him half my sashimi (considering the fish was more than 10 kgs, so I couldn't eat it all by myself anyways, I guess…

My fiiiiish….

His tail is whipping the hair and he munches enthusiastically, he kinda reminds me of my little brother that I left home with my parents for a really good reason, before he became a creepy weirdo. ( Farewell , my adorable little brother, you will be forever missed.)

I guess catboys like their fish.

Aaah, I want to play catch fingers with him ~

Wow, he really did finish it.

“I’m so full …”

And he looks really satisfied now.

Ahh, I wanna pet his ears ….

Hm, I might have to learn taming and get myself a cat before leaving, like the big Norwegian like cats that I sometimes see in the trees, it wouldn’t do to assault every cat person I meet.

“Inclined to answer, now that you’ve eaten enough to lose the ability to walk?”

He pouted, and I seriously wondered if he was a girl in real life.

“I don’t really know, there was that creep that ran after me and I tried losing him in the forest, but I found a wolf tribe and had to run away from them too…”

“By ‘creep’, you mean…?”

The boy sighed and confirmed.

“Yeah, that guy wanted to bang me.”

“Th-That’s a bit…”

“That’s the truth. He’s been following me for a while now, not the first, and probably not the last.”

He smiled self deprecatingly.

Hwe ?

Is that possible?

Is he trying to avoid a protagonist flag too?!

“Um, it might sound a bit rude, but are you…”

“My name in game is Cheshire, lvl 12, I’m 15 IRL, and I’m straight, thank you very much. “

He is!

Uwawa!

It’s the first time I meet someone like me!

What should I do…?

Wait, let’s think.

Yuri council in session!

He looks like an okay guy, I guess?

H-He’s kinda c-cute, in a cuddly way. B-Besides, he’s too young for us.

Uhuhuhuhuhu, he’s an Uke, you’ll see!

Safe?

Ya

I th-think so?

Wait until the seme arrives, then take pictures.

Go away, nobody likes you anyways, you pervert!

Uhuhu, cruel as always Yuri-en…

Council dismissed!

I pulled up my glasses, which were starting to fall down, before giving up and putting them on the ground.

“I think I can understand the feeling.”

The boy threw me a sideways glance, before looking in front of him.

“Yeah, I figured.”

Eeeh, isn’t he a bit young to speak cryptically ? This oneesan is a bit lost…

We watched silently fishes gallivanting along the water.

“ So, neechan, what’re you gonna do ?”

Neechan ?! Dangerous! But I am Yuri the celibate!

I won’t let you raise my pedo flag, you little imp!

“ Umu, first I was going to do the starting quest…”

Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.

He looked at me, a bit shocked.

“You’re level one? But all the monsters here are level 20!”

“hehe, well,  you see, during the launching…”

I explained the redacted information: my build choice, mostly grinding, then during a commotion in the marketplace, I fell in a barrel and found myself here.

“… And that’s how I am still level one. I was about to set off to the beginner’s city to get the quest to activate my experience gauge, but it started raining catboys in distress~”

His ears flattened and tailed puffed. Apparently he was irritated at my teasing him, before his ear twitched and he hid behind a tree.

Eh?

There was a stomping noise and I looked behind me.

A biiig wolf man appeared, and he looked pretty deranged.

Dark skin, grey hair, fur and eyes, bulging muscles and a scar across the eye. Definitely not the guy you want to cross in an alley. He sniffed the air and spoke in a deep tone of voice.

“Cheshire, come out, you know what will happen if you don’t.”

Uwaaa, there’s a domestic abuse flag here!

The boy showed himself, eyes full of disdain, but his tail showed he was clearly panicking.

“Fang. I thought I was clear : you’re a man, I like girls, it’s physically impossible between us.”

“Heh, you’re young, you’ll learn.”

Uwawa… That’s a yaoi hentai flag!

What should I do, leave the boy to his rape end? No, I’m a law abiding citizen ! But that would put me dangerously close to a shounen scenario….

The wolf finally saw me and visibly recognized me.

“Ah, Freyja, goddess of love and war. You’re pretty well known, I didn’t know my newest toy was desperate to this point.”

He purred.

I feel dirty.

Go’way you creep.

“But as the goddess of love, I trust you won’t try anything stupid, woman.”

And a woman hater to boot, with his tone when he said the word.

He swatted the catboy away, that guy seems pretty strong. I counted mentally the different escapes I could make but as a true rapist, he already anticipated this.

Okay, time to run.

I knew not shooing the boy away was a stupid idea!

He cheated!

That’s because cats are adorable!

Now the gay pedowolf man wants me!

I’ve never been affected by yaoi before! Where are the nice guys huh?!

And why do I have to deal with that huh?! That guy is the worst!

“Who knows, I could even give you what you crave if you beg well enough.”

What. did he just say?

You know, the funny thing, when you corner a mouse, the mouse tends to fight back.

And due to previous experiences, involving several male teachers , bus drivers, and every job a deviant could get, Yuri-chan is incredibly touchy about certain ends affecting her. Namely, anything having to do with sex.

“Ara, all I hear is a dog barking.”

I am very, very angry right now.

If I was less pissed, I would just log out, but what he said is just unforgivable.

So so so so so angry.

Even when that bear bit my butt I wasn’t that pissed.

The wolf looks surprised, before trying to grab me, visibly angry.

I am so, so pissed.

That is why…

Please…

Become my punching bag, you slowpoke.

I catch his arm and judo flip him into a nearby tree.

I passed every day since the launching in the wilds hunting monsters ( in beast form, but monsters nonetheless) ; it would have been surprising if I didn’t get some stat points, even without using the level up bonus from my perks.

I twirl my lance in my hand and walk leisurely towards the growling beast.

“You bitch.”

“Watch your mouth in presence of your betters, you filthy mongrel.”

Uwaaaa, something that was supposed to sleep forever came out!

Th-This is !

Shut up minions, I am punishing that peasant!

S-scaryyy….

I dodged a slashing attack. How unrefined, he uses his claws, truly a beast in the literal sense.  I trip him and he rolls away.

Hmmm, he’s already bringing out the big guns, impatient are we?

Energy rolls in waves around him and his muscled bulge out, ripping his clothes. I huff. Leave it to me that my first  pvp fight in this game is one of the most cliché ever.

“This is my [Iron skin] enhancement, with your pathetic weapon, you can’t hope to hurt me! When I’m done with you everyone will know better than to cross me!”

And then he charges.

And then he trips.

What bad luck…

I dodge again and twirl my spear again.

You know, there is an old Irish legend that speaks of the same theme. You know how the ‘invulnerable guy”s opponent did to get rid of it? Well that’s very simple.

I activate a basic spear skill, [Thrust] and while he’s still in the air from his lack of luck…

I do to him exactly what he wanted to do with the cat. With my spear.

His agonized screams are very relaxing.

Like hell I’ll let that kind of flag go unpunished, shrivel and die at my feet, you worm.

E-erm, Y-Your Highness, Yuri-joou ?

What?!

Eeeeep! E-Eto you might want to read the notification…

WarningFor injuring a player outside of a duel, you receive the player killer mark. (Duration : 23.59.59)

Arara, it looks like the mongrel has more to pay for now. It’s okay, I know first aid, so he won’t die.

*Squelch*

I’m back!

Umu.

It seems that I accidentally opened the Pandora’s box.

Gomenasai ?

The catboy looks green, but not that bothered with what I did. You little scamp you…

Eeeh ? he’s kicking the red thing ? Looks like he has a real grudge here.

This world is not that different from the real one if you let it go to your head. Not good.

“I think he’s gonna leave us alone for a while now.”

Beg you perdon? ‘Us’ ?

As in ‘me and another person’ ?

Nuh-huh, I’m not taking a sidekick.

There is a vivid red mark on his forehead. Apparently his kick killed the dog.

“ So, what we do neechan ?”

For now ? I think I’m gonna sleep.

Intense mental fatigue detected, logging out...

I open my eyes and see my room. I think that for this night, I’ll prefer the visions.

Good night everyone.

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Well, that escalated quickly ?

ERm, yeah, pretty heavy content here, but frankly, it needed to happen sooner or later. I mean, 90% realism, and some people who think that’s the real world.

So, enters the yaoi catboy trap, he’s going to appear frequently as Freyja sama’s fanboy *sarcasm*

Because everybody knows torturing and killing creeps is a bonding experience.

His entrance was supposed to be more humoristic, but yeah…

Now, you re read the chapter title, and realize it’s a very tasteless joke. Sorry, I never was the life of the party.  The bit about the Irish warrior I read somewhere, don’t remember exactly where though.

I suck so much at fighting scenes from 1st pov…

And the next chapter will be the usual upbeat silly thing, promise! With catboy trap added!

On that note, should I put the GB tag because of Cheshire or not ?

Thanks for reading, don’t bring too much rotten tomatoes, and a special thanks to a special mango for its comment! I like feeling appreciated.

On another note, 2.1k words, they’re definitely getting longer @_@ !

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Ah, yeah, I forgot/

Before being possessed by the atrocious demon called seriousness !

I made a quick drawing of Glasses!MC-chan !

http%3a%2f%2fimg110.xooimage.com%2ffiles%2fb%2f8%2ff%2fs...c8f427.png [http://img110.xooimage.com/files/b/8/f/slobyuri-4c8f427.png]

...

Shaddup, never said it was good !

the background was supposed to be transparent.