"So I died in an accident and ended up here?" I ask the person before me, who looks nothing like you would expect. I mean, shinigami weren't supposed to be cute, were they? Soon enough, the cute Goddess before me answered my question wrongly.

"Yup, according to your record, you died instantly when you crashed into a truck," The Goddess says, but from what I remember, my death wasn't so usual or unforeseen as they claimed to be; I mean, for starters, I didn't even own a car I could drive.

Should I let the Goddess know of their mistake? Since it looks like they've got the wrong files in their hand, the person on those documents looks nothing like I did. "Just to be precise, you know who I am, right?" I ask the Goddess, who seems annoyed by my question.

"Hey! Just because you did many good things while alive doesn't entitle you to brag about it, okay? Of course, I know who you are. You are 'Oda Eiichirō.'" Just like I suspected, this Goddess had no damn clue of who I was; the hell? Me, the author of One Piece? Give me a break, man!

"Honestly, since you wrote such an amazing adventure world, I'm tempted to give you an offer I don't give many others. Would you like to reincarnate instead of going to heaven?" Suddenly, the Goddess offered me a tempting offer that would beat living with the guilt of taking Master Oda's place in heaven for eternity.

"Sure, I assume this reincarnation will not be on Earth?" I respond to the Goddess while trying to keep my happiness together or whatever ghosts do when they try not to giggle. After all, I'm just a white cloud fart right now; I lack any sort of human body.

"Yeah, it would be kind of unfair to other authors to have you reincarnate with all your previous knowledge of writing great shonen." So this was it. I was about to trick the Goddess into reincarnating me into another world! Yet something felt odd.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask the Goddess, who looks at me suspiciously for a second before she looks down at her documents and then up at me again. Crap! Did she notice her mistake? I thought.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

"I still don't understand why you didn't keep your human shape and face when you became a ghost. Usually, it's the people going to hell, the ones that turn into a cloud-like you; that's strange." What the? Was I supposed to end up in hell, then? Oh man, oh man, please don't notice your mistake now! Please! I don't want to end up in hell!

"Whatever. I'm sure you did some naughty stuff in your lifetime, but to me, the weight of your good is enough to grant you heaven or reincarnation, so what do you choose?" The Goddess asks me as she lays down the papers, and that's when I notice my File under Master Oda's.

[Name: Natsume Suzuki

Age: 39

Cause of death: Heart Attack from wanking their meat too much.

Profession: None

Good deeds: None

Evil deeds: Masturbation, parasite living, bad behavior, negative attitude, Lolicon, Shotacon, Hentai addicted, Bum, Manipulator, Emotional train wreck, broke girl's heart in school, Never stood up for anyone in need, etc...

Sentence: Eternity in the deepest places of hell, right down to the boiler room.

Oh fuck! So that's how I really died? Oh man, I was such a loser, no way! Please don't stare down, Miss Goddess! Please just hurry the hell up and reincarnate me. I don't want you to notice your stupid mistake! Please! "I would like to try my luck with the new world!"

The Goddess looks somewhat surprised at my sharp response and sudden change of tone, as I've suddenly been struck with a harsh reality, suddenly not sounding even mildly convincing anymore. "Are you alright? You seem a little too excited. Is it because you can finally be the protagonist in a fantasy world?"

"Yes!" I immediately answered as I started profusely sweating inside my mind. I kept staring at the files repeatedly just to confirm the document under Oda's was mine, and there was no mistake in that it was my file! I was bound to end up in hell!

"Alright then, I shall reincarnate you into a new world. By the way, did you mind what gender you might have?" The Goddess asks as I slowly start floating, thanks to her hands moving in weird ways like she is about to send me to another body right now.

"Not really, as long as it's fun!" Moments later, I was sent down from the heavens and into another yet-to-be-born body, ending up as a tiny baby who, for some reason, was conscious from the very moment I was born.