Cassandra Pendragon
Despite playing coy with Ahri I didn’t slink away in the middle of the… midday and waited dutifully until Pete had found his courage and approached me, head hanging. I was sorely tempted to let him stew for a while but when he stumbled clumsily through an apology I cut him off. Seeing him grovel wasn’t nearly as gratifying as I had thought it’d be and, in all fairness, my help had never really been on the line. Just if they even wanted it. Unfortunately the next small problem was whether or not I could actually provide any.
Short answer, yes, but probably not in the way they expected me to. I couldn’t snap my fingers and make it all go away. If the conjecture was right, Brianna harboured more than a single entity within her and while I was pretty sure that awakening my own spark, provided it was actually there, would burn away the traces of whatever entity had chosen her as its host, her actual self would most likely also fall victim to the flames. My powers were there to protect Kana, or rather whatever aspects of herself she had dumped on the girl, and that was what they’d do. They wouldn’t differentiate between the spark of a goddess and her original soul. They would rage and burn until nothing was left but the hollowed out husk of expelled power Kana had been forced to let go.
Which left me with only two choices, really. Walk away and pray to whomever might listen that Brianna could find a way on her own to balance the maelstrom of different destinies, warring in her chest, or take back what I had given, ages ago. On one hand that would probably ease her suffocating burden, loosen her shackles considerably, but on the other… if a sibling of the Broken Wheel had chosen her as a vessel, my powers might very well be what kept that spark at bay, prevented it from turning into a wildfire that’d consume everything in its path until another deity could finally walk the earth again. Shit, I was so fed up with the intricacies and pitfalls I had to deal with that I was practically longing for a straight up fight by now, someone to rip to shreds to solve my problems, but alas, the world very seldomly cared for what we needed, never mind what we wanted, and I’d have to find my own damned way, hard as it might be.
“It’s neither the time nor the place. We don’t know enough to make a decision and I won’t play along with some half assed scheme we can cobble together right now,” I explained to a very eager audience. Unsurprising really, since it was their friend’s behind on the line.
“Am I supposed to simply forget what I’ve heard,” Brianna asked mulishly. “Be a good girl and wait patiently until you return?”
“Honestly? It wouldn’t be too much to ask, would it? But no, that’s not what I had in mind. If you’re in any way similar to how Kana was, and I think you are, you won’t be able to simply let go. Neither would I. There are quite a few steps between giving up and breaking head first through a wall though. Believe me, I know. Get to know your own history, learn as much as you can about that divine spark you presumably carry. You don’t need me for that, do you?”
“No, she doesn’t,” Kana interjected, “but she needs me. Do you expect me to remain behind?” Her question sounded innocent enough but there was an edge to her voice that didn’t forebode sunshine and rainbows.
“That’s up to you. I told you I’d take you along and I’m not going back on my word, but I think it might be better for her and you as well, if you remained here.”
“Doing what? Telling stories? Remembering what I once was, regretting what I’ve become?”
“Figuring out who you are? You’re just as divided, as fractured as Brianna. Coming with me would be nothing but another excuse to run, one I willingly handed to you on a silver platter. Now it’s up to you to decided if you want to take it.”
“You’re an ass, you know that, right?” I smiled crookedly.
“Guilty as charged, but not without reason. So, what’s it going to be?”
“As if you don’t know. I’m not…” She paused, frowning in surprise when the little girl, Vi, pulled on her trousers. Kana dropped to her knees and inclined her head, allowing the squirt to whisper in her ear. I felt my own ears twitch towards them but with a conscious effort I refrained from listening in. A second later she straightened again, still frowning.
“Fine. Under one condition. Talk to the Brightblaze sisters before you leave, they know as much about deities as any person I know and…” again she was interrupted when the large raven, settled on the lowest branch of a cherry tree nearby, cawed indignantly.
“I can tell you everything you need to know,” he complained. “There’s no need to involve…”
“There is,” Kana shot him down. “With Cassy gone I’m not sure how far we can trust you and I want someone around who can call you out on your bullshit. And trust me when I say, I will tattle.”
The raven puffed himself up but before he could voice his perceived grievances I quickly said: “I wanted to talk to them anyways. Well, Emilia at least. But under these circumstances you’ll probably want Serena with you. And as for you,” I added while I narrowed my eyes at the bundle of feathers: “you’ll do everything you can to help, won’t you?”
“And if I don’t,” he mumbled, almost petulantly. A silvery spark traveled the distance between us lazily and singed his claws. He took to the air in a flurry of feathers and complaints.
“Fine,” was everything I was able to understand in between his spluttering, “I’ll do it, I’ll do it!”
“Thought so.” I squinted my eyes against the bright sunlight and scrutinised the sky. Damn it! There was no way in hell by now I’d be able to make myself scarce before someone spotted the ship, it was close enough that the dragons, at least, would be able to see it, if they concentrated. “I better run,” I added, “it’s getting late. I’m….” Distractedly I produced another crystal from my stamp and rolled it between my fingers, my gaze travelling over the assembled group. Their expressions were ranging from confusion to anxiety, a bit of excitement sprinkled in here and there. With a sigh I extended my hand towards Kana and explained:
“Take this. You can use it to communicate with me. Simply hold it and concentrate. I meant to leave it with Pete, but…” a crooked smile formed on her face when her fingertips brushed over my palm as she took the glowing gem.
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“Is that a reward or a way to keep an eye on me,” she asked.
“A bit of both, I guess,” I chuckled. “I thought I’d have you with me. Since that’s not going to happen… I’d like to keep in touch. Regularly. I’d still like to hear your story and we don’t want even more millennia to pass unnoticed, do we?”
“Guess not.” Instead of letting go her fingers wrapped around my wrist with surprising force and she pulled me into her. “I was right,” she whispered, while her arms snaked around my shoulders. “You haven’t changed. You’ve simply grown up.” Smiling I returned the hug.
“I wouldn’t be so sure but I’m trying. Believe it or not I’m going to miss you.”
“Same here, Lightbringer. And don’t worry, I’ll call, if only to complain. But more likely than not I’m going to need a shoulder to cry on.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way. Do you remember what I told you, when the sun rose after our first night out together?”
“Sure. You said you might not always be there when I wanted you to, but you’d always be around when I needed you to.”
“And I was, wasn’t I? That’s not going to change.”
“Does that mean all I have to do is wish upon a star and the heavens will be torn asunder?”
“Nothing quite as dramatic. Like you said, I’ve grown up. But… why did you turn me into a storm god?”
“Because that’s what you are, isn’t it? Capricious and dangerous, but yet, once the clouds have passed, the world is clean and invigorated. You just have to pray that the lightning doesn’t get you before it’s all over. Why do you ask?”
“Because I’ve only recently called myself the same thing. Look, what I’m trying to say is this… storms are needed to wipe the slate clean, but now you can actually build something lasting. I think you’re doing the right thing, trying to help Brianna and I do believe that you won’t need me anymore to even the score. You’re not as… hollow as you think you are.” The admission stung, since I was practically iterating my mother’s words. Kana had needed me to put her past to rest but her path to the future was something she had to find without me.
She pushed me to arm’s length and scrutinised my face. “Why do you look sad, then?”
“Not sad, melancholic, maybe. It doesn’t matter, it’s not important.” In the depth of my mind I felt Ahri’s presence stir as if she was on the verge of butting in, but she didn’t. Kana held my gaze a moment longer before she let go.
“If you say so. Just… you know, this,” she gesticulated vaguely, “goes both ways. You don’t have to deal with your problems all on your own. I’m not conceited enough to think I’d be able to help but I would love to listen. Who knows, maybe I can even come up with something you haven’t thought of yourself, despite your experience.”
“I’ll keep it in mind. Also… you haven’t changed that much either. Before I go… would you like to share an apple?”
“I’d love to. Now?”
“Don’t know if I’ll have the time later on and as soon as they have the chance Brianna and her friends are going to descend on you like vultures. You’re the one with all the answers, at least that’s what they must think. Something to look forward to, isn’t it,” I added with a grin while she nervously glanced around, paling as soon as she realised that the assembled group was staring at her with curiosity and barely veiled expectations.
“Ah well, at least you can give me some pointers on how to appear wise and knowledgable without having a clue,” she stated bravely.
“I can try, but I’ve always failed spectacularly, haven’t I,” I smirked. “How long did it take you back then to figure out that I was simply making things up on the fly? A week?”
“Honestly? Pretty much the first night. But I never regretted it. Not even once, not even when…”
“My family came calling. I appreciate that. Come on then. Let’s have a few minutes to ourselves and reminisce like the old women we deserve to be.”
Since we both had wings it wasn’t too difficult to find a quiet place somewhere among the branches of the smaller trees. A few hasty explanations and we were off, the colourful complaints of a complete stranger, whom I had stolen a single apple from, still ringing in our ears. The next few minutes were… as pompous as it might sound, they were balm for my soul. We didn’t even talk about anything important but simply sharing a few treasured memories from a time that usually provided me with nothing but headaches and remorse felt indescribably precious and it also served to soothe my worries, to loosen the tightening knot I felt in the pit of my stomach every time I imagined leaving Kana alone with her baggage, mere days after I had finally met her again.
Alas, it didn’t last long. I still had to talk to the Brightblaze sisters and from where we were sitting I could already see my mom ushering the members of my family towards the entrance of the Great Tree. A handful of minutes and they’d be waiting for me. Not to mention that the ship in the sky was by now large enough that someone was bound to notice any minute. Hence we hugged one last time and glided down from our perch, her towards a band of unruly street rats, who might yet turn out to become more of a family to her than she had ever experienced and me… well, I’d love to say towards another adventure but in reality it would probably turn out to be much less romantic and much more demanding, exhausting and probably bloody. Still, procrastinating wouldn’t do me any good. It never does.
I climbed higher into the sky, more out of a fleeting sense of longing than necessity, and following an impulse I focused on the raging rivers of energy, thundering through my limbs. With a shift of my awareness I forced them into patterns, mimicking the flow in the air and watched in silent amazement as my wings flickered out of existence, followed by my whole body. I wasn’t entirely invisible, but the patterns were hardly distinguishable from my surroundings anymore. Damn it, that had been so easy that I could only curse myself for not trying it sooner. This particular trick would have come in handy so many times that I could barely count them.
With a gentle thud and a broad grin I landed on the soft, verdant grass while I used most of my concentration to adjust to the changing environment. Relishing in my newfound anonymity, a much more thorough concealment than anything my cloak could provide, I wandered unseen among the crowd, trusting in my nose to lead me to Serena and Emilia. Unnoticed I passed by throngs of people, who would have jumped immediately, had they been able to see me, I snaked through groups of dancers, moving to the engaging rhythm of a few plain instruments and pushed past the maze of fires and succulent smells, without causing so much as a stir in my wake. On the way I became sorely tempted to listen in here and there, especially when I spotted someone I already knew, my curiosity to hear what they had to say when I wasn’t around nearly overwhelming, but I didn’t intend to turn into Gollum 2.0, hiding in the shadows and sneaking through the dark, as useful as it might have been. I just had a tad too much respect for my friends.
The sisters, though, were another matter. Not that I disrespected them in any way, but since I had to seek them out I didn’t see any harm in snooping, just a tiny bit. Chances were they wouldn’t be talking about anything interesting anyways, so where was the harm?
After a while their scent became stronger and when I had disentangled myself form a particularly boisterous group without stepping on anyone’s toes I finally saw them, huddled together, whispering beneath the canopy of a cherry tree. Some of their soldiers were close by, still clad in their regular armour, but the pair had apparently ordered their men to give them some privacy. Which put me in a tough spot. On one hand it was clear as they that they didn’t want to be overheard, on the other my curiosity was burning ever more brightly. If it was politics they were talking about it wouldn’t matter too much, but if it was something personal… I decided on the spot to have a quick peek. I could still reveal myself instantly if I was feeling uncomfortable. Carefully I walked closer, my agility more than enough to hide the traces of my approach, while a trickle of energy reached my ears.
“Are you sure,” Serena asked anxiously, her green eyes glowing uneasily. “I told you I’d accept your decisions and I’ll abide by my word, but you have to realise how risky your plan is.”
“Risky,” Emilia scoffed. “They don’t care for alliances. If we can’t tie them to us I don’t think we’ll see the end of the year. Or did you forget how powerless we were? Because I haven’t.” Fuck.