Cassandra Pendragon

I blinked, forcefully extracting myself from a world of mists and memories, until deep, shimmering ponds of azure, crimson, silver and green captivated me more thoroughly than the larger than life visions had. I had seen more than I had bargained for and while her doubts were something we had to address, what really made me squirm with guilt was her burning desire to see her family again, to hold her sister once more. She had never complained, never insisted, but what she wanted, more than anything else, was for us to visit them, for a chance to mend two different lives into a whole. But first, she had to let go of the ridiculously high expectations, she held herself to.

“You really are an idiot,” I mumbled, still caught somewhere between what was and what had been. “I’m not even going to bother pointing out how many times you’ve saved my hide, but let me ask you this: if you think you’re weak, then what the hell am I doing? You must take me for a complete and utter failure.”

Surprised, she gasped. “Never. Why would I…”

“Then why, in god’s name, do you expect so much of yourself? If you held everyone to the same standards, you apply to yourself, you’d soon be very lonely, because no one would be able to meet your expectations, least of all me.” I kissed her tenderly and added: “do you not see? Even last night, you were the one… you called me a heroine, once. Believe me, that’s not who I am. I only act when there’s no other choice, but you… you’re more. You always have and you always will be. If that’s not enough… I fear, despite your name, perfection isn’t something achievable, only something to strive for. Don’t you think that’s more than enough?”

“I… I don’t…” she seemed lost, confused, which was admittedly my fault. It really was hard, though, to find the right words for what I was trying to convey. But I didn’t really have to. Instead, I simply allowed her to see, to feel, what I couldn’t say. Power and strength were passing, a fleeting, feeble description which didn’t touch on what truly mattered. In comparison to mortals, we both were unbelievably strong, while we couldn’t hope to hold a candle to our siblings, not yet, at any rate. But yet, despite or maybe because of our shortcomings, we had prevailed.

To me, her determination, her faith, her love and her courage were much more precious, much more valuable than the unbound might, we would one day call our own. I didn’t admire her fire or her prowess, I respected what she was, what we both were, but it was her unwavering will I was drawn to, like a moth to the flame. And last night, when she had put her life on the line, without knowing how it’d turn out, without any reassurance, she had done something remarkable. It hadn’t been her weakness, that had allowed the Emperor to succeed, but her strength, hers and everyone else’s who had refused to give in, that had allowed them to see another sunrise.

If anything, I should have been the one to feel guilty. In the end, it had been my carelessness that had put them in that position and to add insult to injury, he had escaped from right under my wings. All I had accomplished was to convince the embodiment of a very peculiar idea to side with us. Admittedly, considering how utterly messy Free Land had become, its support might yet become invaluable, but in comparison to how much stock Ahri put in my abilities, it was a rather bleak outcome. To tell the truth, I was decently sure, she’d have done better, if our roles had been reversed. I knew her, she would have pushed through and returned much sooner, without losing half a day to exhaustion. She might have hurt herself in the process, but she wouldn’t have collapsed, until she’d have made sure, all of us were safe.

“You’re just as much of a moron,” she quipped hoarsely, her eyes sparkling with tears and the first hints of pride. “You’re doing the exact same thing, you just chided me for.”

“I know, but I’m also telling you, before I’m taking it out on the first asshole, asking for it. I’ve shown you, I’ve even kept my cool, when I was confronted by Brightblaze and her band of merry racists. For me, that’s actually quite the step forward. A few weeks ago, I’d probably have thrown a tantrum. Which, sweetheart, you’ve done just now. I’m not saying they didn’t have it coming, but we should refrain from killing my brother’s soldiers, if at all possible.”

“Didn’t you say, you’d have done even more, if you had been in my shoes?” I nodded.

“I probably would have, but then again, I would also have counted on you to stop me, before I’d have gone overboard. I’m glad I could return the favour, though.”

“Well, actually, your sister and mother were the ones to protect the soldiers while Viyara caught the one I sent flying. What exactly did you do, again,” she added with a smile.

“I brought you here and talked some sense into you,” I pouted. “If you’re back to teasing me, I assume you don’t want me to keep hugging you?”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she quickly amended. “Maybe in another minute or two.”

“I guess I can wait that long,” I replied wistfully. “But for as long as you’re in my arms, you’re not allowed to make fun of me. Not today, at least.” In a more serious tone I asked: “are you feeling better?” Instead of answering, she nibbled on my ear and breathed:

“Thank you.” Our closeness, the tantalising jolt of heat and the emotional ups and downs of the last minutes made it really difficult to keep my thoughts out of the gutter, but I managed, barely. I cleared my throat and pecked her forehead.

“I actually quite enjoyed being the levelheaded one, it’s a nice change.” We were hovering closer to heaven than earth, by now, the horizon a perfect line, far away, the islands nothing more than small specks of colour. “Look,” I whispered, “from up here, it seems like a perfect world. Everything is small and tiny… negligible. Once in a while, I enjoy towering above it all, but when it comes down to it, I much prefer the view from up close, where everything’s huge, complex and ever moving. Our life is the same. It doesn’t take much, a simple shift in perspective, and our troubles are nothing more than footsteps in the sand, before the flood wipes it clean. But then again, there’s nothing more important, is there? I’m glad I have the chance to fear and hate, love and cherish and that’s all thanks to you. Alone, I’d never have had the courage to change. So… thank you, I’m only able to understand what you’re going through, because you never gave up on me.” She trembled and her grip tightened around me, as more tears steamed from her eyes.

“I did, once. I never should have. I learned my lesson. You’re my world, Cassandra, and I’ll never doubt you again.” Smiling crookedly, I replied:

“Oh, you will. And that’s completely fine, I’m a far cry from perfect and I need you to set me straight, once in a while, but I’d very much appreciate it, if you didn’t again drive your point home with the tip of a sword. I know I can be a pain in the ass, but that was a tad much.”

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“It didn’t stick, though, did it,” she chuckled hoarsely, her head still resting on my shoulder. For a few minutes, we remained silent, marvelling at the vastness of our world. If it had been up to me, I would have remained there for hours. A moment of peace, my love in my arms… I could hardly imagine descending into the madness of our reality again, never mind actually going through with it, but of course, my conscience wouldn’t let me.

“We have got to go back, sometime,” she sighed regretfully.

“We do… let’s not wait forever, before we escape for a short while again, though. I want to see the sunrise from up here… just the two of us.”

“I’d like that. Maybe you’d even find it in you to prepare breakfast?” I chuckled.

“Sure, but you’d have to find a kitchen for me, first. I’ve been banned from the galley… something about the chaos I created rubbed Xorlosh the wrong way. I wonder why.”

“Was it that bad?”

“You have no idea. My glorious battle against butter and eggs will be remembered for ages, especially since someone down there is probably still trying to clean up the mess and cursing my name while he’s at it.” I became serious and added: “I guess it’s time to ease the panic of your new acquaintances. I bet their fretting over whether or not you’re going to smite them like the wrath of heaven. You make for a pretty convincing avenging deity, if I say so myself.”

She squeezed me one last time before we disentangled our tails and wings. “I’ve learned from the best. Should I apologise?”

“No, you were in the right, even though you might have overreacted. It’s not a bad thing, that they’ve realised what we are. I mean, the whole let’s pretend we aren’t dangerous idea was pretty much in shambles, the very moment they tried to lay a finger on you. It’s just… if anything, I’m toying with the idea of demanding punishment. Technically, I’m still their princess and they’ve dared to attack my sister and my future wife. Back home, their lives would have been forfeited, but I think the least we could ask for is a flogging. I’m seriously considering it.” We were slowly circling lower, hand in hand, like a gargantuan, strangely shaped bird.

“Don’t. That’d only cause strife in the long run. Let Sylvia decide how to deal with her people. That’s her prerogative.”

“Hers or my brother’s. I’m wondering if he’s awake. The power we both used might have disturbed the spells, keeping him under. If he is… well, the last time I saw him, he would have been frothing at the mouth, if anyone had dared lay a finger on his family. I can’t imagine he’s changed that much. Who knows, maybe it’s already decided, once we make it back. Anyways… your memories from back then weren’t very cohesive. Do you know why they did it?” She hesitantly shook her head.

“Not really. I truly believed what I told you, but that might have been born from my imagination, from my fears and not facts. I still think it likely, that Sylvia has mentioned more than once, why she doesn’t want you around. They’re warriors… it wouldn’t surprise me one bit, if they acted in, what they thought, was their mistress’ best interest. Does it matter?”

“Somewhat. If you’re right, we can still salvage our relations, but if they acted out of hatred, fear or spite, I don’t think there’ll be much for us to do. It’s impossible to overcome animosity like that in a single day, even a week, or a year. If her people are already dead set on me being some kind of devil, I fear going through with Sylvia’s original plan might yet be the best alternative.”

“You mean enforcing your exile? Why in hell would that be a good idea?”

“My brother and Sylvia will have a scapegoat and consequentially far less trouble justifying whatever they might have to do in the future and uniting the different factions among their people. If they need someone to blame for the mess we’re all in, it’ll be much better if I’m the one to take the fall. They need a leader they can trust in and it won’t change much for me, either. I mean, I’m not going to live with them and if push comes to shove, I won’t give a damn about any laws.”

“Sounds just like the twisted reasoning in that movie you enjoyed so much. What was it called again? “The Dark Knight rises?” I didn’t really get it then and I don’t, now.”

“That’s only because you’ve always hated action flicks.” I laughed softly. “I just remembered. It was a good movie, wasn’t it? Damn, now I’m missing the theatres. And popcorn. If we ever find the time, maybe we could recreate something similar with the memory crystals.”

“As long as I don’t have to watch the entire library, you’ve stored somewhere in your mind, I’m all for it. But I guess it has to wait, like so much else. We’re nearly there.” While we had been talking, we had almost made it back, the ships hovering below us like wooden whales of the sky.

Reflexively, I bolsters my vision and scanned the decks. It didn’t take me long to figure out, what had changed. The culprits from before were on their knees, facing a towering figure. Despite the fluffy gown around his shoulders, there was nothing even remotely cute about my brother. He was taller than me, by at least a handspan, and about twice my size. Muscles bulged on his arms and the scowl on his face wouldn’t have been out of place in a fight to the death. His wife was whispering in his ear, while his four, silver tails were quivering with agitation. My mom had already taken her spot on his shoulder and my sister was standing on his other side, rigid and anxious. Judging from her expression, she didn’t know what to make of the whole scene. Unsurprising, really, considering she was his half sister, even though I wasn’t sure, whether he already knew.

Behind them, our friends were watching the unfolding drama with curiosity and no small amount of satisfaction, while the soldiers… well, the ones who were the target of his scorn didn’t seem particularly happy and the others were doing their best to avoid his gaze. Like a bunch of children, who had been caught by their teacher. If the cause hadn’t been as severe, I’d have giggled at the almost comical tableau. Unfortunately, the truth of the matter was slightly more serious.

With a thought, I sped up, pulling Ahri along. “Arthur,” I shouted, when I was close. I let go of Ahri’s hand and slowed down a notch. Just enough for him to catch me without being injured, as I dropped into his arms. His expression flickered though a series of emotions from surprise to anxiety and finally happiness and then, I slammed into his chest, as I had done so many times before. This time, though, I had a bit more mass behind me and just as my mom jumped to safety, spitting and hissing madly, we both went down in a tangle of silver fur and crackling energy.

When his arms snaked around my waist, his laughter reverberating through his chest, I couldn’t suppress a smile, a warm sensation of safety and home rushing through me. It had been far too long, but the very moment I was wrapped up in his bear hug, it didn’t feel like any time had passed at all. Admittedly, by now, I couldn’t expect him to cradle me in one arm, but when his scent, a mixture of leather and ivy, washed over me, I still felt protected, cared for, as if nothing in the world could touch me, just as long as he was there to keep me safe.

His slanted, grey eyes were sparkling with joy and his wide grin revealed rows of pearly white teeth, as he gently brushed a loose strand of hair from my cheek. He was panting slightly, but when he spoke, his voice was still the same soothing, deep cadence I remembered, like the whispers of the wind, when it blew through an ancient forest. “You’ve grown quite a bit, haven’t you? Let me have a closer look.” Despite my weak protests, he easily got to his feet, dragging me along. Once we stood face to face, he whirled me around like a dancer and caught me again, before I could do so much as complain. “I guess I should have expected something like this, but I can hardly fathom what you’ve become. Damn sis, tall, beautiful, winged and six tails to boot. What did they feed you, while I was away?”

I knew he had already heard about most of our exploits, one way or the other, but I still appreciated the gesture. A little bit of normality, the reunion of two siblings after years apart, without the shadow of war, looming above us. “Must have been your leftovers,” I jested. “You’re still taller than me. But first things first. Arthur, allow me to introduce you to my fiancée.” I beckoned for Ahri to come closer and took her hand again. Grinning to hide my mild embarrassment, I continued: “a few things have changed, but she’s the most important one.” I stole a kiss from her. “I bet you didn’t see that coming.” He chuckled and shook his head.