Cassandra Pendragon

I rose from my last kill like an old woman in the midst of winter. The past hours, days, weeks, years… I didn’t even know anymore, I had spent eradicating parts of myself, memories too tainted to keep alive. When I had taken in the curse in its entirety and allowed its power to rush through my veins, the world, my mind had created, had changed, mists and memories manifesting throughout the dead, desolate landscape.

Ghosts from my past haunted, or rather hunted, me, an unending barrage of my failures, ready to tear me apart. Reflections of what I once had been lurked behind the hazy shadows of places I had cherished and every step of the way, the tormented cries of my former victims followed me like an accusing choir of doom. One moment, I was wading through the blood of my people, past the distorted face of the murdered kitsune, exchanging blows with a regal, towering figure, clad in silver and steel, the next, I was flying high above a burning planet, it’s cities torn asunder by transcendent forces, still raining down from a glowing, silvery blue star, high up in the atmosphere.

When his head finally rolled off his shoulders, his wings a burned out, twisted mesh between my own, the silvery blood, streaming from his neck, turned into a raging waterfall, that swept me away. I struggled free, only to be greeted by a crippled angel, mutilated and wounded but ready to challenge me again. I fought, I battled, long past, what I would have thought possible. My victories weren’t even real, they were pyrrhic, in the truest sense of the word. Every mirage I struck down, every mirror I shattered left behind a gaping hole in my soul, an abyss I had to fill. By now, I wasn’t only struggling against the corrupted pieces of my existence, but also against a deep set fatigue, that felt like death himself was slowly creeping closer.

“Not today and not tomorrow,” I promised myself, as I staggered to my feet, barely keeping my balance. Light exploded around me and pure silver, interspersed with translucent, blue flames consumed my surroundings. An awfully familiar sting shot through my chest and I had to bite back a scream, my already flayed insides curling up under the added pressure. “Not ever,” I whispered. And then, louder: “you hear me, never! I’ve been there before, I’ve survived and you won’t see me cower!” The last part, I screamed at the top of my lungs, while tears streamed down my cheeks, born from powerless rage and pain. I had nothing left, I was about to break apart, but so was the world around me.

Almost everywhere I looked, infinite towers of raging flames thundered to the heavens, cleansing, beautiful pillars of light, that burned my infliction to cinders for something new to sprout from the ashes. Sighing, I steeled myself and brushed away my tears. My hands came away bloody, silver spots interspersing the translucent liquid on my palm. One more, just one more memory and then… no, I wouldn’t fall into that trap. One step at a time. I raised my head defiantly and looked around, waiting for the next scene to break through the silvery mist around me.

It was a hut, a small, rundown cabin in the middle of a clearing in a dark, foreboding forest, its trees old and gnarly. Their tops were almost touching and allowed only dim, greenish light to reach the ground. My steps were silenced by the thick moss blanket, the distant, pained cries of several crows the only sounds I could hear. Slowly, I made my way across and opened the creaking door, a swath of stale air, mixed with the sweet, gut wrenching scent of decay assaulted my nose. A trickle of power cleared my vision but also sent agonising trails of white hot fire through my core, the flimsy protection around my soul almost entirely gone.

Inside, a young mother and her child laid on the floor, their faces distorted with fear and desperation. Small, cauterised holes riddled their bodies, wounds inflicted by my own wings. I gasped. This… this was something else. I wasn’t entirely sure, whom Lucifer had been, but I knew he would never have killed the child, not in an eternity. “Show yourself,” I hissed.

An ominous laugh made my fur rise and from the dark corners of the room, creeping shadows flowed, coming together to form a blurry figure, while another, glowing warrior manifested at the centre. The temperature pummelled and my breath turned to fog as they spoke in unison:

“You failed.” From the darkness, a human soldier stepped forth, clad in blackened iron. His ugly, scarred face was drawn into a menacing smile and he added: “despite your power, you were too late and they paid the price. She squirmed beautifully, before I killed her.” The faces of his victims changed to Viyara and Erya and then, to Ahri and Reia.

From beneath his silvery visor, the other thundered: “you might as well have killed them yourself. You’ve never managed to protect anything you love. Look at you. Your home incinerated, your friends dying and you’re stuck here, unable to break free. You’re pathetic and unworthy of my mantle. Why don’t you just die and give someone else a chance? Someone who might win?”

“Because I don’t need your approval,” I whispered. “Because I’ll keep trying and to hell with you.”

My wings flared, a translucent veil of power behind me, and the hut, the corpses even the very air around us ignited with silvery sparks. An inferno roared around me, its reflection ripping my soul apart, but I had gotten used to the excruciating pain, even welcomed it, by now. A delirious thought, a clear memory, untainted by the curse, surfaced: Michael, when he still had been my brother, leaning over me with a smile. “Pain is weakness, leaving your body,” he had said.

A pinched grin formed on my face as I waited and suffered, the glaring maelstrom nothing but a visible manifestation of the cleansing flames, thundering through my soul. In the beginning, I had tried to carefully remember each and every scene, afraid I might lose myself, if too much of me was consumed, but by now, I didn’t care anymore. I was barely holding on as it was and while the faces of the woman and her child charred and burned, so did the grotesque figures, my mind had constructed around the vile magic, still holding me in its vice like grip.

The flames petered out and I fell, panting heavily. “One more, just one more,” I mumbled and forced my drained, shivering limbs to obey. Straightening, I screamed: “I’m still here and you won’t get rid of me!” Colours appeared behind the silver veil, but I couldn’t see clearly.

“He will not, but maybe…” I blinked and the distorted shapes came back together. An apparition stood before me, a breathtaking woman, whose image I had held in my thoughts, ever since I had been forced to fight against myself. Flowing, almost white hair with a tinge of ruby red, translucent eyes with interchanging colours, sleek but soft curves and long, white tails, the tips of which were gradually turning red made her agonisingly beautiful. The chiselled face with lush, pink lips, I could barely pry my eyes away from, would have been intimidatingly perfect, but the pointy, fluffy fox ears made her appear cute, almost vulnerable. She smiled, a sad shimmer in her eyes.

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“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, Cassandra.” She didn’t move, she simply stood there, her gaze roaming over my body, taking me in. “You don’t deserve this, but this is the end.”

“Why,” I croaked, unable to either lift a finger or look away.

“Why this face? Mercy? Love? You were too late. Do you know who I am?”

“One… one of my promises?” She nodded solemnly.

“Yes. You can’t hurt me, you can’t break me and I can’t let you go. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I slurred, the tearing sensation in my chest gradually being drowned out by a mounting, irresistible pressure, that seemed to squeeze the life from my limbs. “Is it done?” My knees buckled and I fell to the floor, hard, cold, unforgiving stone materialising around us. It was the entrance to Shassa’s tomb, the place where I had died before.

“Apart from me? Yes. I’m the last seed, but I’m still your promise. You didn’t waste me, you did well. If you had had a little more time… it doesn’t matter. Be proud, Cassandra.”

“Proud? Of what?” Despite the overpowering lethargy, my anger stirred. “Everything I touched failed. I lost my home, I lost too many friends and now… my world will burn, won’t it?” She shrugged.

“Your friends, your family, they are strong. Maybe, they’ll find a way, but you’ll never know.”

“I’ll never know…” I’ll never see her again. Her face… had been a mistake, because she was real, not in here, but out there and every second I looked at her reminded me of why I wouldn’t die on my knees. Not now, not ever. I wouldn’t cower. I struggled to my knees, blood dripping from my nose. “I’m sorry, too. I never meant to even try to touch you, but if I’m dead, I’ll lose all of you.” Her smile didn’t waver.

“I suppose you will.” A faint glow appeared on her chest, like a beating heart of molten silver. “Here I am. We will die together. Poetic, since I am your promise to never leave me behind.”

“I won’t, but you’ll never know.” My wings flared one last time and she opened her arms, as if to welcome my embrace, but it never came. Instead, I plunged the scintillating tendrils of power deep into my own chest, just like I should have done, the very moment I had been cursed, the very moment I had woken up in this godforsaken place. Everything shattered and the last impression that reached me, before the sweet embrace of oblivion carried away my pain and exhaustion, was that of a very real cave, a cave I had died in, not a week prior, a sea of silver blood spreading around me from the deep wounds, where my wings were still buried in my chest. I was spent, I was broken, I was hurting, but I was alone, alone and free, if even for a moment. I closed my eyes with a proud smile. Even if this was the end, I had proven that I was my own person and that I didn’t have to hide. I was stronger than I had been and it gave me hope.

“Are you awake?” The melodious voice was quiet and stirred a memory, but I couldn’t focus enough to place it. It hadn’t been too long ago. Somewhere… slender fingers lifted my head and I came to rest on something warm and soft, that smelled like roses and ginger. “Here.” A spoon pushed against my lips and when I opened my mouth reflexively, a sweet taste exploded on my tongue. Wild berries, honey and a hint of mint. I was being fed. For a moment, I tensed but I was much too exhausted to even open my eyes. If, whoever was caring for me, wanted to harm me, I wouldn’t be able to stop him, anyways, and the tiny mouthful had tasted heavenly. Obediently, I swallowed, the movement sending shivers down my spine. I was still hurting and my chest felt, as if I had been flogged within an inch of my life.

“Slowly,” the voice admonished, somewhere above me. “It’s a miracle you’re still alive.” I was offered another spoonful while a small hand stroked my hair and played with the fur on my ears. “Eat and sleep. I’ll keep watch.” I tried to make some sort of sound, but all I managed was a content but strained hum. A few bites later, lethargy spread through my limbs and I fell back into a deep, dreamless slumber.

When I came to again, I was feeling better, at least in comparison. My body still ached but I didn’t have any problems interpreting the sensations and sounds reaching me and the dried blood was gone. I could even open my eyes and move my arms, a skill I immediately put to good use.

I wasn’t in a cave anymore, but in a forest, resting on a soft bed of leaves and moss, birds chirping in the distance. To my surprise, the plants weren’t dead, but seemingly grew in a shape, perfect to accommodate my body. They even had recesses for my tails. A campfire crackled merrily a couple of steps away and on a low hanging branch, the meat of a butchered animal hung to dry. A few steps to my left, a makeshift workbench held several wooden tools and the beginnings of a dress, made form cotton. The treetops above were entwined, forming a cave that kept away wind and weather and a small stream gurgled close by. Perplexed, I tried to stand, but my legs immediately gave out and I tumbled back down. Was I dreaming? How did I get here?

A speck of colour caught my attention and when I had finally managed to turn around, I saw most of the things, I had stored in my stamp, neatly stacked between the massive roots of an ash. Memory crystals, my emblem, my plush toy, even Aurora’s letter was there… Ahri! Without hesitation, I reached for the spark of magic that tethered us together, but I immediately recoiled. It felt similar to touching glowing metal, a heat so intense, it almost seemed cold like ice.

My stomach churned and I leaned to the side as I retched and spluttered, the few mouthfuls of food I had eaten leaving me much faster, than I had been able to gulp them down. My clenching muscles reignited the pain in my chest and for a while, there was nothing but the intense trails of fire below my skin. At one point, I realised that I was being moved again, but I just couldn’t get myself to care. Only when the agonising waves were slowly subsiding, did I manage to focus on anything else.

I opened my eyes blearily, but all I saw was a flood of sapphire blue hair, covering my face. A sweet voice, the same one that had called me back from the land of the dead, sang in my ear. I didn’t understand the words, but the soothing, calming cadence reminded me of Aurora, when she had tried to comfort me and I relaxed. “Thank you,” I whispered.

The music stopped and with the feel of silk, gliding over my skin, the blue veil vanished and I blinked into a beautiful face, a mischievous smile etched around its lips. My benefactor wasn’t human. The long, pointy ears at the sides of her head and the shimmering, aquamarine blue, slanted eyes belonged to an elven girl, on whose lap I was resting. “Don’t mention it,” she laughed, her hands playing with my ears. “I’m just glad you’re finally talking. Can you sit up?”

“Maybe, I’ll have to try.” She grabbed me underneath my shoulders.

“Here, let me help.” I managed to struggle into a sitting position but immediately fell back against her. “Maybe not yet,” she commented happily, as her arms circled around my waist and pulled me in closer. “Just as well. How are you feeling, Cassy? Is the pain gone, at least?” Despite my exhaustion, I still raised an eyebrow.

“You know, who I am?”

“Of course. Cassandra Pendragon, a princess of some sort, a magical creature and friends to fey and dragons. You also snore like a drunken sailor and I might or might not have become addicted to touching your ears. That’s about it. No, wait, you’re also married, are you not?”

“Not yet,” I sighed. “Who are…” my gaze roamed over the impressive collection, that had spilled from my stamp and I suddenly realised, what was missing. “You can’t be…”

“Yep, in the flesh and as good as new. Never thought I’d get out of that gem, never mind getting my body and magic back. You’re blood is really potent… I can still feel the magic thrumming in my veins, but it’s dispersing quickly, now. I couldn’t use it to heal you, though. I’m sorry. No clue why, but unless you have another idea, I fear you’re going to be like this, for a while.” I snuggled up against her unconsciously, relishing in her warmth. Somehow, I believed her every word.

“It could be worse, I didn’t even expect to open my eyes again.” A spike of fear shot through me, when my mind finally caught up. “I have to get back. How long was I asleep?”

“Not that long. A few hours, maybe? Probably a little less. But your wounds didn’t close until just now. Back where? I don’t even know where we are.” She patted my head. “Do you?”