Cassandra Pendragon

“Huh?” I replied eloquently.

“Lucifer, even in the small span of time I’ve spent with you, you’ve saved, spared and protected more people than I can count. Admittedly, you also expedited a decent chunk to the seven hells in the blink of an eye, but how did you put it? The consequences of one’s action always catch up. They should have died a long time ago and you simply helped speed up the process. I’m not saying you’re a saint, far from it, but you’ve made friends. Use them, use us and stop that self sacrificing, lonesome ranger nonsense. So you’re hunted by immortals… welcome to the club. Even I managed to pull through and live my life. I don’t think I’ll be asking too much if I expect you to do the same. So stop your whining and tell me, what exactly you want to do and why.”

Damn it, talking to that freak was like looking into a mirror, every small piece of wisdom I had shared reflected back at me, without mercy. But then again, that was probably why I had come here. I needed someone to tell me to pull my shit together, otherwise I’d just keep on limping forwards, a plaything for those who actually had decided to act.

“That’s the problem, I don’t know for sure. Look, all I know is that my brother has gone off the rocker and that he has found support among angels and demons, either weak souls tempted by an illusion to rule and finally be recognised for the superior beings they think themselves to be, or mangled spirits, warped by the years they have lived. My first impulse was to seek them out and burn the living shit out of them, or at least die trying, but my chances wouldn’t be great. Additionally, even if I managed to succeed, I think it would only serve to make everything worse, much worse. Michael would turn into a martyr, the seeds he sowed would bloom even within those that have resisted until now and… we would all be lost. Unfortunately allowing him to continue will most likely lead to the same outcome. If they were mortal… I’d try to kill them all and maybe cry for the innocent later, but I can’t do that, I don’t have the strength. All I could come up with was trying to seal them away, bury them deep enough that they’ll need aeons to dig their way back out. Maybe they’ll change by then, or the cosmos will. Either way, life would have a chance to run its course freely.”

“What makes you even think that so many of your brothers have fallen from grace, at all?”

“I’ve seen it. Even if we leave out Michael and that he has practically told me as much, I’ve seen a demon, or at least a part of one, who was slowly being rebuild in the twisted image of my own power. And trust me, I know what it does. Why do you think spells, even the strongest ones, don’t work on me? My energy… it’s immutable, eternal. Whoever tries to host a piece of it, believing in the illusion it could be controlled, will be subjugated, sooner or later.”

“But you aren’t?”

“Like I said, how in hell should I know? I don’t think so but as for why… your guess is as good as mine. But whatever else, I’m not the one who is trying to change the order of creation, I’m trying to protect it. Isn’t that something you can relate to? So tell me this: do you think you, everyone within your order, even your flabby founder, are they all just as deluded as I am?”

“Of course not, but that’s the crux of the matter, we’ve all been influenced by you, some personally like Gautama and me, others more indirectly but we all see the world in a way you showed us…. Every fibre of my being wants to act, to put those in their place who assume that they can play god, immortal or not. I’ve spent most of my life doing just that. I’m not going to stop, now. But I’ve got to wonder… you know all this, so why are you suddenly full of doubts?”

“I… I’ve lost someone I care about, all right? Someone I trust, more than anyone else, has chosen Michael’s side. How can I not doubt myself? Either I have misjudged her completely, or I’m the one in the wrong. Whichever it is, I’ve already fucked up, royally.”

“Or maybe she’s been manipulated, just as you have been? Don’t look at me like this, of course you have. You were forced into a situation you would either escape as the villain or… dead. Either way, you lose. So could you finally tell me what exactly happened?” And I did.

I told him about Airu and how I had confronted Michael only to fight my way out. How I had tried to convince Aurora, who she was, and how miserably I had failed. Desperate and angry I had decided to try to lure angels and demons, all of them, into the void and slam the door shut behind their crowned and feathery asses. To do so I had wanted to steal the only thing I knew, the demons would go to war for. And that had been when I had met Chaleb who had opened my eyes to what might actually be going on. I spoke in length about the strange manifestation of my power he had shown me and how it had physically corrupted the demoness who had come in touch with it. And I told him about the grudging truce Chaleb and I had reached. What was going on with our people was simply too important to keep our animosity alive.

By then I had finished my tea and and could even smile at the absurdity of it all. My own power, the one thing I had always thought was truly mine, wasn’t as unique as I had believed. And now I was, in a very roundabout way, plotting against a dark twin, a consuming force, the embodiment of everything I never wanted to become, but yet, so very similar. The other side of a coin… Damn it, I had seen it too many times already, there would be no way out for me. In the end, everyone died, fighting against the ignoble side of their very nature, the only question was if we ultimately became old enough to succumb.

When I was done, one of the few people I still considered a friend, looked at me pensively with a mixture of exasperation, compassion and no small amount of sadness.

“What?” I demanded.

“You already know. And I think that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You won’t survive, not like you are, you’re right on that account. But I don’t think you’ve reached the end of the road, just yet. You’ll fly in the light again, you just won’t be the same.”

“Are you moonstruck? If I fail or get stuck with them, my family will make damned sure that I won’t be reborn. It’s not easy but it can be done.”

“Then… plan accordingly. I, none of us, can help you with what you’re trying to do, we’re just too… weak. But what we can do, what I guess you came here to do, is pave the way for what comes after. This is a time Lucifer, where you have to use your very nature as a weapon. Don’t expect to succeed, but make sure that your failure is something you’re counting on.”

“I repeat, are you moonstruck? What’s that even supposed to mean?”

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“Don’t be daft. I don’t know much about your family but I can tell you two things for certain: one: she may lie to herself and justify it by other means, but Aurora won’t let you die a permanent death, I’ve learned that much about love. And she still loves you, otherwise she wouldn’t be hurting so badly. Two: you’re not as alone as you think. Heavens, I have more than enough reasons to mistrust a knight of hell, but if even one of those cruel bastards is prepared to work with you, how many others do you think can ultimately be persuade. True, for as long as you are what you are, or rather what you’ve been made out to be, you’re bound to fail, you’ve already made too many mistakes. But you can change that, much more easily than anyone else I know.”

“So what? You want me to kill myself, start over and pray that I’ll find a way in another skin? There’s one problem: there’s no one I could pray to. I don’t know if there’s a god, but everything I’ve met in my countless millennia was about as divine as me. Besides, why do you think it’ll be any better afterwards? I’ll still be hunted, shunned and out of options.” His voice changed, his inflection the one of a patient teacher who tries to explain the concept of rebirth to a dim witted student.

“I’m saying: do what you have to and make sure you have all the tools you need, when you wake up afterwards. Use that noggin of yours to think further ahead… use your imagination. What is most likely going to happen? Unless you’re killed for good, of course, but… you can find out if you’ve got a future, can’t you? Why don’t you take a look? And if there’s somebody down the line who carries your mantle, then we can plan, then we can prepare.”

Maybe that was what had been bugging me. I wouldn’t have to search for answers in the past if I could just take a peek at the future. He was right, if I was still around, I could not only try to solve my problems here and now, but I could also prepare for when I’d be reborn. Even his strange insinuations made sense now, this was the place I had always gone to, when I had wanted to create one thing or the other… here, I had everything I needed to make my own legacy. This way, I wouldn’t even be risking anything aside from my own backside. If I’d be travelling along my own timeline, I could only destroy that particular branch. There were even artefacts that would practically nullify the risk, but I didn’t have one. Consequentially, I could still deep fry my future and probably incinerate myself on the spot, but at least I didn’t endanger anyone else. And… I was already screwed, so there wasn’t that much of a downside, all things considered.

With a grateful nod I vanished, leaving behind nothing but sparks of silvery light. Within the blink of an eye, I was far away from the temple, hundreds of kilometres above the blue planet and much closer to its moon. What I wanted to do wouldn’t happen quietly, the time stream didn’t take kindly to invaders, after all. I concentrate and even in the absence of an atmosphere, I heard my wings hum behind me, an oppressive and destructive sound which needed neither air nor another medium to reach me. I closed my eyes and pulled more energy from my core than I had even used in my fight against Michael and his cronies. Lightning began to crackle behind me and still I pulled, the torrents of energy that raged across my skin and sprang into existence between my wings would have turned everything around me to dust if there had been anything close by.

With a mighty heave I sliced through space and allowed my power to infect the cut, to tear it open wider until I could see the shimmer of creation in its depth, laid bare by my onslaught. Another explosion of light and power and even that disappeared, burned to nothingness in less time than it’d take to blow out a candle. Ripples of annihilation, a greyish cancer on the face of reality, spread from the cut, atoms, radiation, energy, even reality itself crumbled, transformed into pure force that was drawn toward the wound and turned into nourishment for the walls of the universe so they wouldn’t brake, while I mutilated one of its most fundamental laws. I felt the weight of a world come crashing down on me and I hadn’t even done anything, yet. Should I ever try to interact with my future in any meaningful way, there would be hell to pay. But for now, I only wanted to see, and that much pressure I could handle. Hopefully.

I ignored the storm of decay around me with a smile and cast my consciousness forwards. If I had been anyone else, even another immortal, I would have withered away in an instant but thanks to my immunities… or maybe the spark of Corruption within me, I remained unscathed while a dizzying cacophony of scenes passed before my inner eye. Time raced by, weeks, months, years… and still there was light, still there was hope. I would have gone even further if I hadn’t felt the walls of reality shaking, while more and more cracks appeared around my body. The same, greyish, insatiable force bled through them, taking in more and more of existence to desperately shove it into the gap I had created.

Grudgingly I stopped my advance and the maelstrom of colours slowed down until I saw a clear image in front of me. Frankly, I took quite a lot of courage to focus on it, my fear that I’d only see a hollowed out husk of who I was, broken and still desperately fighting a war he couldn’t win, a constricting band of ice around my heart. It instantly melted when I realised what I was looking at. Despite my perilous situation and the less than favourable odds I was confronted with, I had to laugh before I quickly pulled back and allowed the wounds I had torn into reality to heal.

I had seen a girl, young, beautiful and stubborn, with a set of fluffy tails behind her back. And while I felt very much like complaining that I’d turn into a beast kin of some sort, I didn’t, for I had seen something else. She wasn’t going to be alone. Around her, I had seen the glowing presence of several immortals, a net that slowly tightened around her neck like a hangman’s noose but at her side, I had seen red flames and felt the echo of Aurora’s presence, and that was all I needed to know. Not only was I going to have a future, I’d have one I was looking forward to.

With a thought I dispersed enough energy from my core to help reality heal itself, a pulse of silver and blue that closed the salivating chasms in a flash of light. A few seconds after I had left, I reappeared in the middle of the underground vault. Not enough time had passed for the wrinkly old man to refill our cups but I still felt like I had just run a marathon. The simile was quite fitting, because I also couldn’t stop grinning, what I had seen had reignited my passion to do what I could, not only because it was right, but also because I wanted to see where it would take me.

“That was quick,” he greeted me. “And except for a short moment when I felt a rupture in the weave, nothing bad happened, either. So… what did you find?”

“Hope, my friend, hope. Like you said, it’s not going to be the end. I don’t know how, nor do I know why, but somehow I’m going to be reborn. And not in the worst shape imaginable, if I do say so myself.” I clapped my hands. “Alright, a handful of years form now, don’t ask me how many, though, I’ll be young, stupid and still the target for a bunch of immortals. But I won’t be alone. Aurora will be with me again and for me, that is enough. Which leaves us with a far more practical problem. The woes and worries of my little war aren’t that important for now… I have to make sure they… we can survive. Tell me, if you were young again, clueless and out of your depth with only a few people you trust by your side, what would you want?”

“Knowledge and strength, but I guess the latter is obsolete. There isn’t much we can do for you in that regard from here. So, I guess I’d want to know as much as I could about what’s happening to me and why.” I brushed his remarks away with a gesture.

“That’s already being taken care of. As I’ll grow, my memories will return, bit by bit. Adding another chunk wouldn’t change much, but I could maybe make sure that I remember the right things at the right time. This for instance… there won’t be much use if I can’t control my magic but once I can, I’ll be able to activate spells I’ve cast before. Summoning spells for instance. My question was much more literal: what thing would you choose to take with you on a deserted island to fight demons?”

“A weapon, or a set of armour. Probably the armour, come to think of it, a few books and ingredients wouldn’t hurt either. And if I had the chance, I’d take a hole ship full of artefacts. Anything can be useful,” he added with a shrug. “A golem, maybe?”

“You’re right, but I don’t think I can do that much… yanking a ton of magical auras across creation will leave a trail even a mortal could follow. No, but a thing or two, well hidden and veiled…”