Cassandra Pendragon

Blinking owlishly I suddenly found myself at the centre of attention once more. Kana couldn’t have chosen a less inconspicuous way to include me in her story and we didn’t have to wait long for the consequences.

“Is it true,” Brianna whispered.

“More or less,” I admitted. “She skipped the gory the heavens burned and the earth bled parts entirely, which might have painted a slightly different, less romantic picture, but she didn’t lie. What she said is true. Which makes me wonder… do you bear my mark?”

“Shouldn’t you know?”

“No… if it’s there its magic will remain dormant until I acknowledge its existence and I didn’t exactly look at your shoulder the last time we met, did I?”

“No… no, I suppose you didn’t. Do you… do you want to see it?” I sighed for the umpteenth time today.

“I do, but I’m not so sure you want me to. Remember what I said? The magic is still dormant, it won’t be once I’ve seen it.” The weight on my shoulder shifted and a faint, almost inaudible thought reached me: “coward,” the raven had said. I clenched my teeth but otherwise tried my best to ignore my feathered burden as well as the intensifying stares that made me feel like a particularly interesting exhibit at a zoo. Or a leper. Which, sadly, might have been the same thing.

“I…,” Brianna stammered, “what do you expect me to say? I don’t even know what you mean.”

Pete, as the one who knew me best, was anxiously glancing in my direction, trying to catch my gaze, but, just like the gradually rising murmurs, I paid him no heed. Instead I slowly walked closer, trying to gauge her reaction. She did tense but she didn’t flinch away and that was more than I had hoped for. Her friends, though, especially the fiery, young redhead, Vi, who had acted as her bodyguard before, weren’t as accommodating. They didn’t bar my way but neither did they move to the side, their expression stern and wary. The acidic scent of fear and rising anger clung to them like an overcoat and it took quite a bit of self control to stop myself from sending them packing with a single, thunderous command.

“It’s not that complicated. Pete must have told you what I am by now. My magic, it’s different from anything you’ve encountered before. In a way… it’s not alive but it’s still a part of me which makes the distinction academic, at best. Think of it like an animal in hibernation. Once I see it, once I feel it, it’s going to wake up.”

“And what’s going to happen then,” she asked, her voice as fragile as a newborn’s.

“I…,” closed my eyes and tried to recall what I had done, all those years ago. There wasn’t much there, a few hazy recollections but instead of any details as to what I had done, I mainly remembered why I had done it. Guilt. Guilt, pity and a healthy dose of hope. “Don’t know,” I continued quietly. “It could be nothing, but that’s unlikely. All I know for sure is that there was a time when you trusted me enough to ask for it. I guess the question is whether or not you still think the same way.” Quiet enough that I had to rely on my fox ears to puzzle out her words as she mumbled:

“Have I ever regretted my decision?”

“No,” Kana interjected solemnly before I could muster a reply. “On the contrary, there was a time when you would have given anything to tighten the bond even further.”

“And how would you know,” Brianna asked.

“Let her see the mark. I’m sure she can tell you everything you want to know afterwards. Right now, all I have is speculation and you… me and you, we both need the truth.”

“Who are you,” the girl whispered. With a sad smile Kana replied:

“A dream come true, torn from the depths of your despair. If you want something more tangible, I fear there’s only way… even though,” she turned to me but when she spoke she addressed the raven on my shoulder: “tell her. With her vision she should be able to see.” A soft caw rumbled through my body before he replied:

“You haven’t thought this through. If she looks this closely, she’ll see the mark and all of this will have been for naught. The decision isn’t yours, nor is it mine or hers. It’s Brianna’s. You know the life she’s headed for. Ask yourself, does anybody but herself have the right to make that decision for her?” I was already struggling to keep up but his next words confused me entirely: “she’s not you. If I’m right your past is nothing but an anchor that allowed something else to take hold. What I haven’t told you, yet, is that I have a very personal interest in this whole affair, for I think one of my kin has taken the chance to live and breathe again… through her.”

“Stop. Stop right there,” I interrupted, my voice barely recognisable. “What the hell is going on?” Usually an outburst like that didn’t serve any purpose, unless you were looking for a few pitiful glances, but when it came with the strength to even bend the will of a god the outcome was slightly different. My command rippled outward, like a wave in a pond, freezing everyone but the Broken Wheel and Kana in place. I hadn’t meant to subdue them but I wasn’t going to complain. This way I could at least figure out what I had done without anyone pushing my buttons.

The raven tensed and turned his head towards me apathetically while the winged hybrid began to explain, her words dull, muted: “when the Broken Wheel saw Brianna and me side by side he realised that we are more similar than two living beings should be. His domain isn’t death but to safeguard souls so they can reach the river uninterruptedly. Mine never made it there, you saw to that, but what you did when you pulled my soul from the past still falls under his purview but even he couldn’t glance past the glare of your spells.”

“I do have hundreds of lifetimes worth of experience, though,” the raven took over, “and I know the rules. You didn’t break them, otherwise we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Here’s what I think happened. What Kana accomplished in her past has made her powerful. Her soul… grew to accommodate the magics she was once confronted with, she herself took a part in. When you yanked it from the past her current vessel wasn’t strong enough to contain it. The excess was expelled, a shining ball of power in the aether. With the laws of space and time crumbling under the onslaught of your power it could go everywhere and it went to the past, it clung to the first unborn life that could hope to contain it without combusting. Brianna. As to why… I think the girl already harboured the last, dormant remnant of one of my siblings, waiting for another chance to come to life. Add an infusion of power to the mix and you have a… half god in the making, someone whose essence could be powerful enough to entice a family of depraved necromancers to risk everything on the minuscule chance that they might use it.” My mind was spinning, trying to make heads or tails of his story.

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In less pompous words he had told me that I had fucked up, royally. A stupid mistake, really, but with far reaching consequences. I still remembered how much it had taken to rip Kana’s soul from the past, enough energy that the basic laws of creation, like space and time, had… not crumbled but become far less absolute. Hence the transformation I had been force to undergo. When I had taken ahold of her soul I had jammed the thing into a container that had lacked her centuries of experience, of rituals and growth, and it hadn’t fit. To protect herself, she had expelled the part she couldn’t cope with, which had then slithered through the cracks and latched onto Brianna, before her birth, apparently because the girl had already harboured a spark of Gaya’s essence, one of the Broken Wheel’s siblings, and thus had been able to endure the additional strain. Which in turn had promoted the Ironhands to go after her and set in motion the series of events that had led me to try and help Kana in the first place. A nice little loop.

So far so… well, not good, but at least acceptable. The real conundrum had only just begun, though. The goddamned mark I had left her with. The way I saw it, Kana had her original soul, the way it had been before we even had met at that fountain. Everything else she had dumped onto Brianna and there was no telling what would happen to the girl once my own powers awakened in her, especially if she already harboured several other energies. There was her own soul, the one she had been born with, supposedly a last living part of a goddess, the excess… energy Kana had collected over her lifetime, bear in mind that it had been enough that I had been forced to end her life with my own hands, and lastly my mark.

Judging from past experience awakening the damn thing would be akin to introducing a pariah to a pond of koi fish. Surely fun to watch but the result was pretty obvious and, if you had any sympathy for the koi fish, nothing you’d ever try. And, to top it off, the whole narrative was pure speculation. It sort of fit, provided the Broken Wheel wasn’t mistaken, but to make sure I’d simply have to look at them both, truly look. Unfortunately, well, I think I’ve already explained why that might just be a really stupid idea. No wonder the Broken Wheel had been so insistent on Brianna making the choice. She was the only one who had to fear for her… maybe not life but identity, while the rest of us were mere onlookers.

“Enough,” I mumbled, absentmindedly recanting my command. A collective sigh of relief travelled along the rigid group as they struggled from their stupor. “Pete, we need to talk. Now. As for you,” I made sure to catch everyone’s eye, even though they could barely meet my gaze, “you’ll wait here. We won’t be long.” Almost mechanically the gangly man scrambled to his feet and hurried after me, while the raven shook out his wings in discomfort.

“I truly hate immortals,” he complained quietly enough that I could choose to ignore him. “Or that might just be you.”

“Trust me, should you ever meet one of my siblings, you’ll be glad to have me,” I shot back.

I didn’t walk far, just out of earshot, and waited for Pete to catch up. He was clever enough to have figured out that something important was going on, even though I would have been prepared to bet that he hadn’t understood a single word. To ensure our privacy I manifested my wings and allowed them to slither freely, effectively barring everyone from reaching us. Well, my mom and Reia would probably have been able to simply stroll past, but they weren’t close by.

Before I had even begun to formulate an explanation he grunted: “what the fuck. Spill it.” And so I did. When I had finished he asked a single question:

“Do you think it’s true?” I would have loved to laugh it off but I couldn’t with a clean conscience. Admittedly, nearly everything hinged on an observation made by a damned splinter of a hive like consciousness but the raven knew very well what was going to happen should he have lied to me and the fact that he was still sitting on my shoulder convinced me that he wasn’t trying to play any kind of game.

“The specifics? I’m not sure, but in general I don’t think they’re far off. Truth be told, I think you should know better than anyone else. You’ve watched Brianna grow up… do you think she’s just a normal girl?”

“No… she probably isn’t. You felt is as well, didn’t you? She’s… as easily as you can make people obey she can lift their spirits by simply being there. But I’d never have thought…”

“Will you keep an eye on her?”

He remained quite for a long time, his eyes cast downwards. Despite a tightening knot of nervousness in the pit of my stomach I kept my silence and when he finally raised his gaze again, I knew I had been right to. With an almost sad expression he stated:

“Of course I will. But, Cassy, I have to ask you to stay away from us from now on. I know you didn’t mean to but you put her at risk and I… I have to keep them safe and that means, as much as I don’t want it, away from you. Because shit like this… it’s going to happen again. You know it, I know it. I… I’d still like to see you, now and again, but please, stay away from the kids. If Bri decides she wants this insanity in her life, she’ll seek you out but I have to look out for the others as well.” I felt a lump rise in my throat, even though I couldn’t argue with him. He was right. I had brought enough upon my own people, I didn’t have the right to involve another… family, especially when they were still able to turn away.

“I understand,” I replied almost casually. It shouldn’t have mattered, I barely knew them after all, but it did and it stung. “I guess this means I’m not going to verify their claims either, does it?”

“If Bri seeks you out… but that’s her decision. I’ve seen what a spark of your power has done to Viyara, not to mention your mother. That’s nothing I, or you for that matter, can decide for her.”

“You’re right. Still, if she really is a… I don’t even know what to call it, she might need help you can’t provide, sooner or later. You know my door is always open to you, to you and them. Don’t hesitate to come calling, I won’t expect anything in return.”

“You never do… that’s what makes it all the more difficult. You’re not a bad person, Cassandra, but I still can’t allow a bunch of kids to toy with powers I myself can’t understand. If Brianna wants to ignore it all, I have to make sure she actually can. She’s still… herself, isn’t she,” he added insecurely.

“Of course she is. And for what it’s worth… I think you’re doing the right thing. It’s just…” to my surprise he gently touched my hand and managed a melancholic smile.

“I know. You’re not at fault, you did what you could, but that’s the problem. In what little time we’ve known each other you’ve grown by leaps and bounds and… well, you’re simply not mortal.” I reciprocated his smile bravely and asked:

“So, that’s it? The end of the line?”

“You make it sound much worse than it is, we’re still friends, aren’t we? And,” his smile turned impish when he used my own words: “for what it’s worth, I think they… well, at least Vi, Jimmy and Brianna, will come to you, sooner or later. But that’s just it. They have to come to you, knowing what they’re in for. Not the other way around.”

“You know, for a desperate, snivelling, good for nothing pirate you’re not doing too bad as a… father,” I whispered hoarsely.

“Don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold but… yes, they’re my family, ever since the day we’ve met.” He eyed me coyly before he added: “I don’t mean to sound insensitive, considering everything I know about your race, but I think you wouldn’t be doing too bad either, as a… you know, mother.” I chuckled chokingly.

“We’ll never find out.”

“Don’t be too sure. Blood isn’t what makes a family and your willingness to step away… who knows, maybe Reia will have some competition in a few months… or years, in Vi’s case. The girl is still young enough to only trust things she’s put in her mouth, at least once.”