"Alright enough thinking about my own genius, let’s see if I can evolve into a not emo sloth now."
For helping in killing the druid you’ve fallen out of favor of the forest. All those home to it are more antagonistic towards you.
Oh. Well, shit, who cares. I hate this forest anyway.
Finally, our sloth has to face the consequences of his actions for the first time. The lessons learned from it will surely develop our hero into a better, more likeable per-
For inadvertently saving the forest by your genius plan of befriending the necromancers, leading them to spare this young forest, the forest grants you, out of respect of the rules it must follow, it’s blessing. All inhabits of the forest are more likely to trust you.
"Huh, well, it seems you spoke the truth of your genius plan to save the forest. I salute you, for I truly could only see the earth where you saw the mountain."
...
"Huh? What mountain?… Ah… I mean, yes, my… genius plan “to save the forest” saved everyone once again. I would tell you to praise me more, but I have to choose my evolution now. Of course, you can still praise me afterwards, I grant you this honor."
"Now you’re just reminding me of those rich young family masters from where I come from. You remind me quite a bit of these trash actually."
"Whatever, you aren’t the genius planner here, are you, mister “drinking poison for days because he’s a moron”?"
"...I really should not have told you how and why I died."
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
"Well, that’s what you get for trying to be sociable with some psychopath raving homeless guy."
"But...but you are that raving homeless-
"Well now that that conversation is done-"
"And right back to ignoring me. Of course. Not like I have feelings too or something..."
"Let's evolve me into a god you shitty system!"
…
"Please?"
…
Please select Evolution:
1. Thorn sloth (C+)
Monsters, blessed by Forest and Mountain spirits for their contributions to the well-being of the forest, sometimes gain the opportunity of a rare evolution, much stronger that the common ones. A thorn sloth is such an evolution. While still, as expected of a sloth, slow compared to other monsters of similar rank, what it lacks in speed it makes up in greater magic power and the inborn spell "thorn field". While useless against most flying enemies, not needing to learn the inner functions of magic to cast it, few monsters of similar rank are able to withstand it. Yet power from the forest brings you responsibility as well, for if the forest withers, dies or burns to ashes, so do you.
2. Giant Sloth (Chaos variant) (C-)
A Giant Sloth, mostly but an all around bigger and better version of the common "Greater Sloth".
Yet this one is a special variant, imbued by the forces of chaos from a former evolution, this kind of sloth is, quite unlike the passive and mostly harmless common variant, aggressive and dangerous, even going hunting for other creatures, even if it still is unable to stomach flesh, not that this fact prevents it from trying. As a chaos variant with a talent for magic, so small it may be, it gets, as much as one would expect from chaos, a random ability.
(SIDE-EFFECTS OF POSSIBLE ABILITIES INCLUDE, BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO: Genocidal thoughts, magic cancer, not magic cancer, sudden combustion, not so sudden combustion, hyper death, normal death and reincarnation as a chair the size of a squirrel)
3. Stalker Sloth (C)
Stalkers, monster variants skilled in the arts of assassination. Fast, dangerous, deadly.
Sloths...slow, harmless and easily killed by toddlers above the age of 4.
Combine both and you get the most mediocre threat one can imagine. Spooky.
Beyond the mediocrity of this beast lie passive abilities to help you hide, back stab, and, naturally, stalk your prey.
4. Menace to society Sloth (C+)
The nightmare of all who desire a peaceful life. The only goal of this sloth is to make everybody’s
life more miserable, only so it can feel better of it's own miserable, lonely, friendless, loveless, existence it calls life. Proficient in the art of psychological manipulation and taking advantage of lower creatures, bringing them to their doom. They may hide from your menace, but you will find them and annoy them. They may also try to run from you and they will succeed, for you are still a sloth. And you will never be more than that.
Well, I hate all of those options.
What now... if only someone more...willing and with more time to waste on this very hard decision could choose for me instead...wait a minute.... someone with time to waste, probably procrastinating something important right now, willingly making the hard choices for me so I don't have to think as hard and sleep a bit more instead...
*Slowly turn head to look at what is apparently the fourth wall*