So after our Hero fled climbed the opposite direction the goblins where going, he found a nice little place to take a nap…

And yet, while our Hero is taking his hard earned break, in the very same forest a squad of adventurers are walking a downtrodden path in the forest.

One is obviously a kind of paladin, as he wears  a golden adorned, white plate armor and looks as if he has a stick permanently stuck up his arse.

Then there is the girl which looks like the typical spoiled noble brat with a staff and completely overdressed for a hike in a forest, more at place at a festival than in a forest.

And another guy completely clad in brown leather with a pair of daggers and a bow, looking like the type to steal handbags from old lady's and sell fake weed to kids.

"Where the fuck is that asshole now, I told him to stay in formation but no, he "want's to be a hero" and doesn’t need help against "weak goblins". I hope that cunt is dead."

Said the paladin, obviously concerned for his friend.

"Who cares what happened to kevin, but being a hero is so out nowadays anyway, I mean, they have to fight the most dangerous beings on the world, just to not be paid at the end, because a “real” hero doesn’t need pay, not that I’m complaining that these idiots throw themselves to death before some shitty king decides to conscript us."

"If we find his corpse, I call dibs on his sword, there is always some idiot brat out there who pays extra for a big sword."

And so, as they fear for the well being of their friend they continued to search for their lost comrade in the forest.

After searching the forest for hours the thief ranger had found the gruesome crime scene a few meter away from the path of the party.

"Hey guys I found his sword and some bloody goblin tracks, wanna hear something funny? He probably got downed by a goblin throwing a fruit at him, isn’t that fucking hilarious."

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

And so, instead of crying for his death, the ranger laughed in memory of his friend.

"Well, shit...they probably already dragged that cunt to their hideout, by the look of the dried blood I say the cunt’s dead."

"So will we bother to go to their hideout? I’d honesty rather not, this dress is new and I don’t want it to stink of goblin..."

"Nah we are paid to kill some goblin runts, not to clean out what is essentially a miniature goblin-themed dungeon and rescue some overconfident twat."

"Kay, so who’s gonna tell his sister he’s dead?"

"Why bother, she's just an orphan, not like she matters... hey...you guys remember kevin talking about them having some kind of special family heirloom? Wanna “convince” her to give it to us for "safekeeping"?"

The ranger said, obviously concerned that some evil people would steal it from the poor girl, now that she was all alone in the world with no one left to protect her.

"If it looks nice, I want it"

Interjected the Missy, willing to protect the heirloom herself out of the goodness in her heart

"Great so we have a plan, today we kill goblins, then sell the shitty sword and tomorrow we steal an heirloom, everyone agrees?"

Suggested the paladin to his friends.

"Sure whatever, but tomorrow I’m going to be out shopping, so you guys have to steal it without me."

"Hey, you guys are horrible people and should be ashamed of yourselves-

Spoken like a true hero concerned about the well being of his money pouch fellow man.

"It was MY idea to sell the sword so I should at least get fift- no, sixty percent of the money, not like Missy here needs any more money anyway, she can always just go suck off her sugar daddy for more, I don’t have that privilege."

"Go fuck yourself, dave."

"Whoever said I wouldn't?"

"By the way, now that that cunt isn’t here and bitching about keeping it on, can we finally mute that sarcastic asshole?"

Mute Narrator?

""For the love of God-/ Fucking finally-""

But then our heroes decided to go suck off a few ogres inste-

"""YES!"""

Narrator muted.

"Thank god we have premium membership..."