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Free Food

In a dark room, seemingly build in a tree, one can see a waking furry creature in a wooden cage, this creature, of course, is a dick.

“Groan...”

Shit… I will never drink again…where the fuck am I?

Our Hero, waking up from his concussion, asked himself.

Huh, who-

Ah..yeah, I was reincarnated as a sloth wasn't I…

“Sigh...”

Great. Well what now?

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But then our handsome Hero decided to check if he can go out of the cage.

Fuck yo-Wait, did you just for the first time ever give me helpful advice? And did you just call me handsome? I mean, not that you're wrong, but-

But then our hero, the one and only Dick, heard some panicked screams from the outside.

"Orcs are invading, stick to forma-

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU ASSHOLE? THAT’S DIRECTLY INSULTING ME! THAT’S EVEN A NEW LOW FOR YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!"

Dick-

*snicker*

cannot do that.

"YOU TOO? OH YOU’RE SO FUCKED ONCE I GET TO THE MANAGER YOU LITTLE-"

Hosts name has been changed to Dick according to the wishes of the elf girl.

"Oh god we are losing, is there no hero who would aid us elven here-

"I’M GONNA STRANGLE THAT FUCKING BITCH AND GENOCIDE THESE TREE FUCKING ELVES!"

But our Hero, ignoring for a moment that the evil dastardly elf, and that elf alone, decided to give him such a grea- childish name, found a green hideous man barging into the room, equipped with an axe, as he immediatly noticed our Hero in the cage screaming the words-

“Free Food!”

Shit.