In a dark room, seemingly build in a tree, one can see a waking furry creature in a wooden cage, this creature, of course, is a dick.
“Groan...”
Shit… I will never drink again…where the fuck am I?
Our Hero, waking up from his concussion, asked himself.
Huh, who-
Ah..yeah, I was reincarnated as a sloth wasn't I…
“Sigh...”
Great. Well what now?
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But then our handsome Hero decided to check if he can go out of the cage.
Fuck yo-Wait, did you just for the first time ever give me helpful advice? And did you just call me handsome? I mean, not that you're wrong, but-
But then our hero, the one and only Dick, heard some panicked screams from the outside.
"Orcs are invading, stick to forma-
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME YOU ASSHOLE? THAT’S DIRECTLY INSULTING ME! THAT’S EVEN A NEW LOW FOR YOU, YOU ASSHOLE, I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!"
Dick-
*snicker*
cannot do that.
"YOU TOO? OH YOU’RE SO FUCKED ONCE I GET TO THE MANAGER YOU LITTLE-"
Hosts name has been changed to Dick according to the wishes of the elf girl.
"Oh god we are losing, is there no hero who would aid us elven here-
"I’M GONNA STRANGLE THAT FUCKING BITCH AND GENOCIDE THESE TREE FUCKING ELVES!"
…
But our Hero, ignoring for a moment that the evil dastardly elf, and that elf alone, decided to give him such a grea- childish name, found a green hideous man barging into the room, equipped with an axe, as he immediatly noticed our Hero in the cage screaming the words-
“Free Food!”
Shit.