"Hey, little sloth?"
"Don’t talk to me please."
"Alright, guess I’m not mentioning that some raving homeless person is running towards us."
Said the ghostly cultivator, pointing at something in the distance.
"Huh?"
Said our hero in his eternal wisdom, his eyes following the direction of the finger, landing on a raging old disheveled man in dirty green rags. Having seen that, our hero courageously faced the man and screamed:
"TAKE EVERYTHING YOU WANT FROM ME, just leave my bum alone. Here take this shitty ring, I don’t want it anyway just go away, I don’t have any leftover change!"
"Hey, some people literally tried to kill me to get their hands on this ring you ignorant peasant."
And so the homeless bum wanted to take his equally homeless bum.
"Wait, little creature of the forest, I am but a humble druid, you do not need to fear me."
"Oh, so you don’t want to take me by force and steal my shoes?"
"You don’t even have any shoes..."
"Wait, what? No matter, child of the forest, please hear me out, the fate of this forest lies in it and whether it will burn or live."
"Ah, I get it old homeless man, pretty hard to start a fire without any equipment, but give me, like, day or two and the whole forest will be ashes. Just make sure you stay away from the flames, old crazy person."
…
"Now is not the time to joke around, my furry little friend, every second now some vile
necromancers will come this way, trying to kill me and turn this holy land into a graveyard."
"Kay."
"Here take this and hide it."
The Holy Druid gave our hero a little piece of flimsy yellow paper, drawn on it, with what seems to be crimson ink, unknown runes.
"Now, once they come this way, they will try to ask you about my whereabouts.
They won’t bother checking whether its true or not, they have quite the faith in the lie detection ability of their scout. But, unknown to them, this talisman shall be enough to deceive his ability without alarming them.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
"Do your mission well, little sloth, and the forest shall bless you like it blessed me."
Sound like a kinda shit mission to be honest...but I think I have a great idea.
And so our hero tried to seduce the druid.
Fuck off, I have something to do right now you shit. Thankfully the old man is apparently deaf and didn't hear your mad ramblings.
Now, time to start my master plan.
It was not, in fact, a master plan.
"I too don’t see you getting anything from this."
Shush. See and believe, you shitty assholes.
"Eh-ehm...
WAIT A SECOND, MY FRIEND!"
Oh no.
I mean, just as the druid started to run away, he stopped at the behest of our hero.
"What is it little friend, our time is running thin."
"Lets do a blood oath, it will make sure that I shall follow your orders."
"I’m pretty sure you don’t have that ability, considering how weak you are?"
The druid merely smiled a the kind gesture of the hero, touched by his commitment.
"Oh, no need for that my friend, I trust you."
"No, no I INSIST. Wouldn’t want you to feel nervous about our agreement."
"Alright then friend, how does it work."
"I just need stab you in the finger, nothing else."
"Don’t I need to take blood from you to for it to work?"
"Nah, my blood oath is special."
"Very well."
You stabbed the finger of a High Druid, due to the level difference, you barely scratched him.
"Now go my bestest of friends, we don’t have any time!"
"Alright, l'll be sure to reward you personally once I deal with the dark mages!"
"Sure, whatever man."
"I really don’t see anything in your plan."
"Well, not my fault you can’t see my genius."
Said our hero jokingly.
Huh? Joke?
…
Half an hour later
"What a friendly and honorable sloth, thankfully there still exist some good people on this word...
...Wait a minute, wouldn’t a system message tell me if the blood oath is successful... well, whatever."
Yet, our Druid suddenly heard shouts coming from behind him.
"I found the Treehugger, your dark Highness!"
"WHAT, HOW?"
"Little druid, it seems the creatures of this forest aren’t as innocent and kind as you believed."
"No....that...that little backstabbing filthy shi-"
...
For helping killing a righteous High druid, you leveled up twice, you heartless villiain.
You are now max level, proceeding with evolution.
Nice.
"You know, slowly I’m thinking you may not be a very virtuous sloth."
"Nah, you’re only imagining it."
"Oh, okay then."
...
On a devastated battle field, four men draped in black cloth stand above a dead bum, his eyes filled with rage and betrayal.
"...You know what, I know we wanted to burn this forest down and all that, but I’m kinda
warming up to the little critters here."
"Actually so am I. Just yesterday I saw a little wolf kill his pack and eat them. It gave my quite the nostalgia. May the fires of hell comfort you, pops."
Said the man, starting to pray to some mysterious dark god about the wellbeing? of his parents.
"Yeah, we are all not so different after all, are we?"
...Gay.
"What you say boss, why don’t we to just leave this forest alone."
"...Well, considering how good of a personality our new furry friend had, let us just skip this one and
burn the elven forest to the east of here. "
"Oh, you mean the one ravaged by the great wise orcs of the great ting tang wala walla bing bang clan?"
"Yes, I am sure the Wise orcs of the clan will appreciate every burning hand helping…"