New achievement!

Awkward virgin

You managed to avoid sex while under the effects of Adora’s Boon. Clearly you need some help. You are now 5x more appealing to people already attracted to you. whomever is the first to engage in sex with you will receive the First achievement and a perk from Adora. Don’t worry. Everyone moves at their own pace!

You received 2,000 experience points

Level Up!

Name:

Doug

Race:

Titan Spawn

Class

Left Hand of The Titan

Level:

3

HP:

180

Power:

12

Mobility:

12

Body:

12

Mind:

12

Face:

12

Magic:

12

Please Select Perk

* Boon of the Titan

* ^Boon of the Titan

I selected a). it seemed the right answer.

Boon of the Titan

Warning

This power will be labeled as “Empowered Critical”.

All beings, including Narrators will see this power labeled as such.

Your critical hits will deal 2 points more damage.

The actual effects of this power are for 1 hour a day block the effects of Narrators within all current plot threads you are involved in.

Note 1: this power is extremely dangerous, and will remove as many protections as it does obstacles. Never use this in spite.

Note 2: No one else in existence has this power. Never speak of it. Never abuse it.

That was a strange way to wake up.

Then I realized I was cosplaying Hercules in his dick out phase, while a woman wearing next to nothing was pressed up against me. Somehow, over the course of several hours of sleeping, Angelica had gone from grappling me like I was a caber, she was about to toss, to being inside the cloak with me. She was also hogging the cloak.

I spent a solid two minutes just contemplating this scenario. Yep, there was no good way to extract myself from this situation. There are few things more freeing than having no good option. I am one of those people that when I know something bad is about to happen, I get calmer. It was all but guaranteed that things were going to get uncomfortable when she woke up, so that became a later problem. I looked at her face because other options were likely to be perverted and just not cool. She looked to be in her late twenties or maybe early thirties. She really was pretty with her short black hair.

It took some doing but I found the prompt for going back to sleep.

A split second before I selected yes, a woman said, “Ah, it’s sweet that he still wants to give her privacy.”

My eyes popped back open. Not one but two women stood over us. The first was a gorgeous woman wearing the hell out of a green dress. She was voluptuous and despite being flawless gave off an air of maturity. Her eyes were glinting as she gave me a cat that ate the canary smile. She twirled one of her curly black locks in her left hand as if thinking. She tilted her head and said in a sensuous voice, “I still can’t believe they didn’t just fuck. Talk about letting spite get in the way of a good time?”

Angelica’s eyes snapped open. “Oh shi…” she froze like a statue.

“None of that.” The woman turned to me, “I’m Adora. I am tickled to meet you. Clearly, you’re happy to see me.”

With a flash of white light Celeste sat up, “Adora, Aella, what sick game is this?”

“I just bet Adora here, that my newest sibling would be so twisted up from being born that he would pass up a sure thing with a woman perfect for him.” The second woman said. She, like Nadia and Zach before her, was a shadow. Unlike them she seemed to either be wearing almost nothing, but some see through clothing or was possibly wrapped in a small cloud of mist.

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“That was cruel,” Celeste said.

“Careful, angel, you are still in my domain. I will not be insulted for trying to be nice,” Adora said something dangerous in her sultry voice.

“Let’s all calm down,” I started.

“Ha!” Aella cut in. “Says the guy sporting wood.”

I continued as Adora eyed me with a look that said ‘eh not bad’. “No one wants to fight. We are just trying to ride out the storm. Do either of you know if the Wendigo is still out there?”

“Yeah, she IS still out there, and she IS going to keep prowling around until I get some entertainment.” Adora said.

“Bitch that’s cheating,” Aella shouted. She turned to me and spoke each word with some strange force behind them, “You are incapable of arousal.”

You are immune to all mental effects from titan spawn.

Upon seeing that her words had no effect on me she proceeded to stare at it. That went from awkward to someone-kill-me territory immediately. It was a lot like having to show it to your parents. You know that situation when something is wrong and you need input from someone you trust. Except, I didn’t trust Aella in any way.

Eventually Celeste stopped bogarting my cape, and tossed it over me, “Can we all focus for two minutes?”

Adora gave Celeste the most condescending smile I have ever seen, “Yeah, because I have just been all over the place on what I want. Please, Celeste of Truth, tell me what I should do in my own domain.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but Aella put her shadow hand on my shoulder, “Don’t get between them. The goddesses are fighting.” She whispered into my ear.

As Celeste and Adora began a complicated back and forth that seemed to be an ever-escalating way of politely telling the other to get fucked.

Aella, despite being made of shadow and having no distinguishable features, was able to convey extremely complex expressions that became a sort of communication all its own. She gave me a look that said, “Testing! Testing! Do you read me! Oh, sweet! Okay, so this is not telepathy. That shit gets hacked and intercepted all the time. If you do not have it you are going to want to pick a perk or trait that lets you block people reading your mind without consent. I just have enough face ability that I can convey my intentions to people at will, or what I want them to think my intentions are. Also, you are welcome.”

I raised my eyebrows conveying the obvious question of “What?”

A slight smile from Aella conveyed, “Trolling Adora, duh! Before I got involved, she was just going to half ass things, and when that didn’t work smite you with fire hot genital lesions. I turned it into a game, and had her pulling out all the stops. She is now going to do literally anything to get you laid. Hell, if you can hold out long enough Adora might even put out, but I wouldn’t try for that. Adora is clingy as fuck!”

My next thought was ‘Why?’

Aella gave a roll of her eyes that said “I was bored. Plus, I am not going to play kid games, so I am going to toss you a bone to help you power level. If you can bed someone at divine tier you will get an achievement, and if it is your ‘first’ time you will get an even better one. That will probably get you something like 50,000 experience points. So, I would bang the angel. She is definitely the plain on the streets, freak in the sheets type.”

When she saw the look on my face, she shook her head. This gesture tossed this set of ideas at me, “Don’t tell me you are going on a Paragon playthrough. That is a huge waste of time and it just begs narrators to fuck with you. You need to learn this lesson quick. Get what you can from people, because they are just going to take what they can from you.”

When I gave her a cold look that said, “What does that mean about you? What are you getting out of this?”

She took a small step back and that slight motion told me, “Calm down. I am looking to try and set things up like Nadia. Just be left alone to my own devices. In order to do that I am going to need someone to fill the void in the audience’s attention. So, I am going to set up some options to get you big and strong and let you grab attention. Then I am going to fuck off back to the desert and do my own thing. Maybe go see South America.”

“What?” I said out loud.

Adora and Celeste looked over to us.

“I said I am not going to remove the conditions. You both came here of your own free will. You entered my domain, took my food, and slept in my bed. If you are not going to engage in any rituals of appeasement, then that is your decision also.”

“Rituals of appeasement?” I asked

Adora’s expression softened, “Oh sweet moose, I keep forgetting you’re new here. I am Adora. The goddess of love, that means both the emotion and the act. So, what do you think people do to appease me?”

“Engage in chaste hand holding while talking about baseball?” I guessed.

Adora handed Aella’s shadow a shining coin. “It’s like he is allergic to vagina. Do you mean to tell me you started out like this?”

“Ten times worse,” Aella admitted.

Adora thought about that, “Okay, I am going to adjust my expectations.” She turned to Celeste, “You can either help the hapless boy out, or not. That said if you do, there is a divine perk in it for you. The meat suit you got on will get one too. I’m feeling generous.” She paused for a moment and when she realized Celeste was going to argue further, Adora cut in, “Let’s let the mortal wake up.” She snapped her fingers.

The light faded from Angelica’s eyes. She blinked and took in the situation. Celeste had carried herself with all the modesty of the elderly in the gym locker room. Their nudity was everyone else’s problem. Angelica was clearly not okay with being topless in front of people or potentially hostile deities. That said this was a high stakes situation and she was not going to show weakness.

“Goddess Adora,” She said in a stilted, polite voice.

“Why is everybody acknowledging you first?” Aella demanded stomping a foot. Which shook the entire house.

Adora gave Aella a bit of the side eye, “if you can’t behave, I am going to ask you to leave.” She then preened slightly, “Also mortal eyes are drawn to quality.

I’ll admit my eyes were indeed drawn. It even told me I had failed a willpower test. …damn, she was a good looking woman.

Adora’s smile faded, and she turned to Angelica and me, “Okay I am done, playing games. The Wendigo is going to be wandering around this area for the next few days. You two are welcome to stay here, but there will be a rent for anything passed tonight.” She turned to Angelica. “The reason you have the frustrated condition is exactly the reason you think it is. You have been running around alone for way too long.” Adora shook her head. “You all would be lost without my help.”

“So, our options are, do what you tell us, or go fight a boss that will probably kill us?” I clarified.

“You can’t expect to just push your way into a goddess’s sacred places, and then just leave without saying thank you. Considering how invasive you were, I feel I am being more than reasonable. Besides, you did just cause me to lose a bet with a titan spawn, so the least you two could do for me is put on a show.”

“Could you at least take off the smooth glide condition so we can go fight this monster with our gear?” Angelica asked.

“Hah!” Aella said. “Pay up, bitch!”

Adora threw another glowing coin to Aella, “Only because you two are costing me money at this point.”

Then they were gone. Angelica immediately equipped her gear again. It was like she clipped from the world for a microsecond and snapped back into existence fully clothed. She had a slightly glazed look in her eyes. It looked like she was reading prompts. After a moment her eyes sharpened and she gazed at me, “how the hell do these boxers have armor fifteen?”

“It’s a guy thing. We are profoundly protective of our nuts,” I answered partly out of instinct. I immediately realized that was deflecting bullshit, and since we were about to go fight a high lethality encounter, I decided to level more with Angelica, “I also have a perk that lets me temporarily boost the effectiveness of armor I equip. it is going to drop to five in a few days.”

Angelica turned to look at me, realized I was still only wearing the cape, and turned away again, “Could you please fully equip?”

I quickly pulled my pants on and took the cape off to pull my shirt over my head. I also slide into my coat, and pulled my boot on. Each piece of clothing sort of ‘snapped’ into place. “I’m decent,” I said, putting the gloves back on.

“Are you spec.ing into being a tank?” Angelica asked. The look on her face implied that if that was the case, I was a dumbass.

“I like to think of it as a maximum survivability build,” I explained. “Being out here on my own made that a high priority.”

Angelica nodded. “You cool with making a suicide run on a demigod Scale event boss?”