After getting Seth to promise that he wouldn’t do anything crazy, Spine and I made our way back to camp. Spine was revelling in his glorious victory. “Then I let the big yellow guy hit me. I didn’t want to embarrass them.”

“Then you tactfully maneuvered around him?” I asked.

Spine studied me for a long moment, he was trying to tell if I was playing along, joking with him, making fun of him, or somehow ignorant. I could see him factor in that I didn’t know how food works, “...exactly. I may have appeared to be running around screaming but it was actually using tactics to… win and junk.”

“Smooth,” I told him.

“Do you think anyone else will buy it?” he asked.

“Polish up the summary to not include ‘and junk’ and probably,” I said.

I was still stalling, and while that had worked to prevent me from struggling with my feelings in the short term, we were now entering the middle term. That meant I now had to deal with the crushing weight because my problems hadn’t magically solved themselves.

Two negative thoughts kept cycling in my mind. The first was, ‘You are going to fuck this up’. Everyone who has dated can tell you that the majority of relationships fail. That said a successful relationship ends with you watching your wife die. That led into the second negative thought. It was, ‘What about Marnie?’ It wasn’t even three days ago and the thought of her forced me to roll a Willpower Check. Now I was thinking about other women. Truly my love for Marnie was something.

You are going to fuck this up.

That wasn’t inherently true. Both Angelica and Celeste were both adults and had both directly stated they weren’t opposed to sex. Seth was right. I needed to just get out of my own way and try to be happy with the people here. Honestly, a quick discussion about ground rules and it could be a good time.

What about Marnie?

That was not a simple thing. I loved Marnie. I still do. The thing is the Titan had done something terrible but so easy to forgive. In trying to hold onto the love he had for Marnie, he had let her memory haunt him. The absence of love is an acute and physical pain. Often it can’t last. Instinctually people reach out to others in those moments of grief. What’s more all but the truly alone have others who at least try to help in those times of need. The Titan had made the mistake of preserving Marnie’s absence for fear of losing any part of her.

Marnie would forever be in my heart. She had wanted the best for the Titan. She had even said, “Don’t be afraid to find someone.” That’s what she said to her husband. She had literally never met me. Knowing her if we could somehow meet she would probably say something like , “Hey Sailor, where’s Olive Oyl?”

She wouldn’t want me to fixate on her. She would probably yell at me if I did.

You are going to fuck this up.

I had been half heartedly helping Spine workshop his account of his glorious victory. “It actually sounds more impressive if you don’t try and upsell it. Don’t sandbag or worse yet try to play it, but try to tell the story like you aren’t bragging or secretly amazed.”

“I don’t get what you mean,” Spine said.

“So if I said I’m the greatest snow lion killer who ever lived, you would think,” I prompted

“That is probably true,” Spine said slowly. Examining my clothes made almost entirely of Snow Lion pelts.

“And that I was being an asshole.” I led him to the point. “The trick is to say things like, ‘I cleared the Snow Lion Dungeon.” or “I killed 40,000 Snow Lions in twelve minutes.’”

“Is that last bit true?” Spine asked.

“Yeah, Dungeons are nuts. Stay the hell out of them,"I said as we reached the tents.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Spine said. He turned to walk away, “Welp, have fun. Get out of your way.”

I stood outside the tent. Then I kept standing there. The stew shower was still distributing food. There was a constant flow of both stew and goblins. I used to be a serious adult with real world problems like grief, and worrying about failing as a father, and alcoholism. Now I was dealing with psychotic things like feeding people by magic contraption, not inflicting the horrors of war on young adults somehow causing extinction, and being pressured into sex by a busybody goddess and a gaggle of blue narcissists.

I just need to do what I always do. Understand the situation, come up with a plan, and then do the best I can. That always worked for me in the past.

What about Marnie?

… well fuck you too intrusive thoughts.

“I hope Pappy Cohen wasn’t just talking shit,” I muttered to myself. I ducked and entered the tent.

Angelica and Brunhilda were still in the tent Angelica was painting Brunhilda nails. Bright pink, if you were wondering..

“I just never have the time for this,” Brunhilda said.

“I get that, but this is like fun for me so I make time,” Angelica said. “Besides you fixed my foot.”

“The nails should grow back fine,” Brunhilda assured.

Angelica looked at her foot again. It was covered in angry red almost sunburnt skin. The thing is each of her toes was also missing the nails. Now I am not like the goblins. Feet don’t exactly do a lot for me. For the most part Angelica’s feet looked functional and…well balanced. Cute! I am describing that as cute, like a normal person. Anyway each toe was absent the nail and that made them look off putting and weird.

“You could just paint the skin where the nail should be,” I offered.

Both women looked at me.

“I am a man, I try to solve problems to show I care,” I offered.

Brunhilda gave me a look. Then checked if Angelica was watching her. After confirming that Angelica's focus was on me she shook her head.

Angelica considered, “Doug, what color goes best with new skin?”

I shrugged, “You looked nice with the blue, but whatever color you like is fine.”

Angelica sighed. She clearly wanted an easy setup for a reason to tease me. Being denied her fun she slid the bottle of pink nail polish to Brunhilda, “hold onto this. Serious, you really saved my skin.”

Brunhilda considered for a moment. She looked between me and Angelica several times. Finally she spoke in a stilted almost pornfilm like way. “Oh no my inventory is full. I will have to make room for this.” She then pulled three bottles of wine, two red and a white, a six pack of something called Smash-Bastard Stout, and the bottle of Fire Whiskey. “That should do it. Hey Doug, buddy could you come over to this side of the tent and look at this. No need to get up, Angelica.”

I followed Brunhilda to the corner of the tent. Technically the tent was round. You know what I mean.

She immediately elbowed me, “Solving problems to show you care?” she hissed.

You are going to fuck this up.

“Fine it makes me feel smart and useful,” I whispered back.

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She elbowed me again, “Calm down. I think you might have shot with her. Take these.” She pressed her shoulder closer and pulled a box out of her inventory. She forced it into my hands,

I looked at them. The box said Zach’s Prefered Condoms. The line below it said ‘Ride the lightning without ever have to feel the clap… of thunder.; below that was ‘The only Condom Brand rated for Titanic Scale lovers*!!!’ three exclamation points seemed like a lot. That said, I didn't miss the Asterix. I found the explanation in really small text. *99.99% effective when used properly. Not rated for Boon of Adora, Dance of Dragon Union, or similar fertility rites.

I pulled them into my inventory, “Thanks.” I didn’t sound enthusiastic.

My drinking buddy shoulder checked me, “What’s wrong buddy?”

“I am trying to figure things out,” I said quietly.

She looked at me wide eyed for a long moment. “Do you mean like logistically?”

I frowned at her.

“Oh right, you are new. Don’t worry I got you buddy,” She punched my hip. It did 9 damage. She pulled a book out of inventory and handed it to me. It was titled, Practical Passion: A logistical guide for love between different sized partners. It was written by a Korean woman going by the Pen name Hee V. Ho. Out of morbid curiosity I opened the book. It had a table of contents. The first chapter was titled ‘One Size does not fit all: Understanding and Communicating boundaries and limits. The second chapter was: There is always time for lubricant. Another was: Leverage is your friend but momentum may not be. I stopped skimming after the chapter: No they aren’t that fragile but a practical guide to the effects of continuous application of weight. Before closing the book I caught a glimpse of the dedication.

‘This book is dedicated to Peggy Wood and my husband. I love you both and was Inspired watching you climb every mountain.’

“I am touched but how is this going to help me in the immediate future?” I asked. It's not like I had time to read this.

Brunhilda considered, “that’s a you problem buddy. I should probably get out of here.”

“Wait,” I hissed.

Brunhilda paused, “Do you want me to cock-block you?”

“No,” I replied. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted.

“We need to quit standing in this corner.” She whispered to me. She then turned on her heels and announced, “I have to go be other places.” She then marched out of the tent.

“You guys are really subtle,” Angelica said. She popped the top off one of Smash-Bastard Stouts.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, tossing the book into my inventory.

Angelica considered for a minute, “I believe you.” She pulled her small portable movie player out of her inventory, “Wanna watch a movie.”

“Sure,” I said. “What do you got.”

“Star Wars,” She said grinning. “And before you bitch this is Episode 22. It is one of the best ones. All the old school fans lost their minds because of the villain.” She paused, “I don’t want to spoil things.” She patted the cushion next to her.

I shelved my biases. Since we weren’t going to boldly go where no man has been before might as well rehash how cool lazer sword fights are. I sat next to her, “Who’s the villain?”

Angelica popped the top off another Smash-Bastard Stout and handed it to me, “It is a big reveal.”

“Tell me anyways,” I took a drink. It was pretty good. I looked at the bottle . It had a warning ‘Not recommended for those under 21 Body Attribute’. It was apparently Epic Scale 18% alcohol by volume. I really do need to figure out how food works.

Angelica studied me for an instant, “Oh god, you are one of those people.”

“You are going to need to elaborate,” I said, taking another swig of the stout.

“One of those people that claims knowing a story's plot ahead doesn’t affect your enjoyment,” Angelica accused pointing at me.

“If knowing the story ruins the story it was a bad story,” I insisted.

“Ugh, you sound like Celeste,” she added some gravitas to her voice and spoke like she was revealing dread portents, “Are worst it moves you to the same feel as a second watch.”

“Celeste doesn’t sound like that, but you are saying she has pretty lights and correct opinions,” I argued. “I mean Fight Club isn’t ruined just because…”

“SHhhh! Shut up!” Angelica stuck fingers in her ears. “Stop spoiling films.”

When she took her fingers out I said, “That movie was old in the World That Was.”

Angelica looked disappointed, “Damn Elves. It is supposed to be a new movie that came out this year.”

“Maybe it is a different movie.” I offered.

Angelica looked up to the right, “Celeste did you see the old film.” she paused, “That sounds different. What happens…” Angelica looked like Christmas was canceled. “Wait they’re what?” She scrunched her face and held her hands clawed in frustration up, “Why would you tell me that?” after another pause she said, “I just told Doug I didn’t want spoilers, and you know me.” after another pause she said, “I did ask… no. It’s fine Doug and Brunhilda had a whole conversation without us. He is too polite to call us out on it anyway. It is kinda freeing being able to just talk to you rather than hiding things from people..”

I let them talk for a bit longer. I needed to figure out a way to tell Angelica and Celeste about… oh wow so much shit. This was complicated. Where do I even start? What the hell am I even doing? There was so much that needed to happen.

Angelica poked me “You were miles away.”

“You and Celeste have my whole focus,” I promised.

What about Marnie?

Intrusive thoughts you need to knock this shit off. I am cool to you.

Angelica considered and then poked me with every word, “Or you could talk about it.”

“Fine, I am concerned I am doing the wrong thing. I just turned Gisele and her friends away. Somehow that gave me a terrible feeling.” I stopped her from poking me again.

Angelica nodded along sympathetically, “you did what’s best for them.”

“But what if doing that gets someone else killed?” I asked.

Angelica got my meaning. She considered for a moment and then leaned over. Her shoulder hit mine, “That is life Doug.”

“That’s all you got?” I asked.

Angelica took a long pull of her drink, “Let’s lighting round this. Do you know what is going to happen if they stay?”

“No,” I said.

“What about if they go?” She asked

“No,” I admitted.

“Is that true for literally every person alive?” She asked.

“...Yes,” I admitted

“Are you trying to do the best you can with what you know?” She took another swig.

“Yeah, but I am still scared people are going to die,” I set my drink down.

“That is the hard part. There is a reason I tend to work alone.” Angelica admitted.

“What should I do?” I asked.

Angelica shrugged, “No Idea. you did the dumb thing and let people put you in charge. The best option you got is to keep up with that gentle touch of yours.”

“Gentle?” I asked

“Yes,” She said, reaching toward the play button.

“Me?” I pressed.

Angelica pulled back from the screen without starting the movie, “yeah.”

“You saw me throw Rachel across the room,” I pointed out

“And that was hilarious, but you did it to stop a fascist beat down.” Angelica killed her beer and grabbed another. “Celeste says it is one of your better features that you are gentle.”

“Not to argue, but how do you figure?” This confused the hell out of me.

“Doug you are basically a living weapon, and you constantly choose to talk to people, listen to them and work with them. You could just stomp on most of these people. You don’t. It’s a choice.

Get out of your way and try and be happy with her.

I put my arm around Angelica’s shoulders, “Shes pretty gentle too.”

“She says ‘Bitch I know it,” Angelica said with a laugh.

I laughed.

She slipped my arm, “So I have been thinking about what you said about being trapped in a joyless shell that only suffers and kills. I want to change that.”

Oh shit. I wasn’t prepared for this.

“Angelica-” I started with no idea what I was about to say. Then I saw the red box with the frog she pulled out of her inventory. “Are those Honey Smacks?”

“Nah, Sugar Smacks, the best cereal ever made,” she handed me the box and pulled two bowls and a bottle of milk out of her inventory.

“These were called Honey Smacks,” I said, smiling at the frog mascot.

“The mask must have fallen off with time, they used to pretend this stuff was healthy” Angelica said. Then like some sort of psychopath she poured her milk into the bowl before the cereal.

“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, pouring some of the basically candy in my bowl.

“Making cereal,” She said, taking the box. She poured the sweetened grains on top of her puddle of milk.

“You did it wrong,” I said, pouring milk over my god fearing bowl of cereal.

“Eat the cavity causers you cretin,” Angelica ordered

I took a bite. Kate loved this garbage so we always had it in the house. It tasted like Saturday morning. “So who’s the bad guy.”

Angelica swallowed her cereal, “ Palpatine you fun hater. Him coming back as the big bad was controversial but I liked it.” she hit play and the text started to crawl.

“So Star Wars fans still don’t like Star wars?” I teased.

“Quiet you. This has a lightsaber fight in a ship being pulled into a gravity well. It is awesome,” She said. She took a swig of beer. Her taste in films was a mixed bag, but she knew how to enjoy Sugar Smacks. God this stuff is bad for you.

“That does sound cool,” I admitted a Twi’lek man was being chased by a Rancor through caves. I probably should have read the text crawl.

“Hey, Doug after the movie, wanna bang?” Angelica asked around a mouth full of cereal.

“Yeah,” I said.

You are going to fuck this up.