Time stopped. I knew it by the telltale cessation of all natural movement. All the lights except the one over Brand and I faded to darkness. I found myself staring out into what now felt like an infinite black void. It had to be a Divine Scale player involved. Which one, though?
As if on cue, a sultry light burst into existence, the warm glow revealing Adora. She was draped over a lounge, her hair perfectly curled, her makeup flawlessly applied, and her gown holding her curves in an enticing -but clearly staged- way. She wasn’t looking at me, but instead was focused on her nails. Slowly filing away at one.
That last detail was what really broke the illusion. The idea that someone would stop time and travel to the depths of a dungeon, but not actually care about what they were doing more than their nails was laughable.
“Hello Adora,” I said, keeping my tone neutral.
“Hello to you too, Sweet Moose,” She said after a long moment examining her nails. She didn’t look up from her work. “I am going to have to ask you to not rough up my boy, Brand, there.”
“He’s your kid?” I asked, looking between the two and seeing no resemblance between them.
“No,” She said unconcerned, “He is just… under my… supervision. He is far too amusing running free to let you just smash him. At least to death.”
“Why are you actually here?” I demanded. My patience with everything was wearing phenomenally thin.
Adora tutted, still not looking at me. “While I may not have been able to see into that little room of yours I know you three weren’t actually doing anything of interest. You still have the Awkward Virgin achievement, and haven’t handed out any First achievements either.”
“I didn’t hear a question.”
Adora sighed dramatically, “I go through all that trouble to distract Grond and you wasted the opportunity.”
“Distract Grond?” I asked.
“Oh, he is easy to manipulate. There is a reason his clergy are all priestesses,” Adora explained. She examined her work and nodded.
“Ew,” I said without thinking.
“I know right?” Adora agreed, actually looking at me now. She may be a manipulative psycho, but she had really pretty eyes.
Before this moment I had sort of wondered about Mental Resistance. Its effects seemed deeply nebulous and other than locking Wilson out of my mind, allegedly, it didn’t seem to do much. This is when it really demonstrated its value. I felt a passive mental effect hover just outside my ability to detect almost like a hand not quite touching me. You can sense the heat and the faint movement, but you can’t feel contact. What I did feel was a metaphorical hand slap the mind effect hard before it could touch me. It didn’t even raise a prompt. No point drawing attention to the fact that the mind effects weren’t working.
“That is such a terrible power imbalance,” I continued. I am actually not big on sexual repression, but that setup sounds exploitative. It is coercive for an employer to link continued employment to sexual services. A god withholding favor to people in this world full of literal monsters unless they put out… gross.
“...yes, that is the problem I was criticizing too,” Adora said unconvincingly. She sat up before continuing, “Let’s cut to the chase. I want Brand out of this dungeon alive. I also want you and the other two to clear the dungeon and stop it from constantly breaking. So, I am going to offer some help.”
“At what cost?” I asked. I did not trust this woman. Any gift she offered was almost certain to be some sort of golden handcuffs, or the fuzzy kind I guess.
Adora rolled her eyes, “Don’t be so dramatic. There are four other dungeons like this one in the Wastes. I would like you to go in and clear them. The constant dungeon breaks have caused my Haven to fall into neglect. Petitioners would come from all across the world for my favor. You were the first visitor to make it there in over a year. That just won’t do.”
Screw that. “I don’t think I have any real interest in going into any more dungeons for quite some time. I am not making any binding promises.” That sounded polite.
Adora pouted. I felt Mental Resistance fend something off. “Oh don’t be like that. This isn’t just me sending you on errands. Tell you what, you do this service for me, and I will provide some sort of service for you. No strings attached. That doesn’t sound so bad does it?”
I thought it through. Obviously she was getting something better out of this. That Haven probably mattered to her, but she had to have some other angle in play. “What happens if I say yes, but then don’t clear all the dungeons?”
Adora shrugged, “I don’t provide any payment. I also probably don’t offer you any other gigs.
“No systematic punishments?”
“No,” Adora said, shaking her head. Her curled locks swayed. The motion pulled my eyes to her face. As our eyes met, Mental Resistance again triggered and crushed some effect.
My heart did skip a beat, but it was more missing a step at the end of some stairs instead of any sort of emotion stirring. “I am probably going to just complete this dungeon, and then just follow Angelica to fight the Demon of Frost.” I wanted to see her reaction. It was also the truth but figuring out her goal felt important.
The ‘goddess’ shrugged, clearly feigning nonchalance, “You will find several other gods amenable to that. We want him off the board.”
“Seriously, what do you want?” I pressed. Tired of these circumspect allusions, instead of direct communication.
Adora looked disappointed, her stance adjusted slightly. Less pouty and more business. “You are just no fun at all. Don’t worry, I’ll fix that. I know what you think I want, but apotheosis is the furthest thing from my mind. I am with Zach on that one. The best thing for everyone is that no one gets it ever. Cards on the table, I am one of the strongest gods alive. I am just arranging to kick the demons back to the Coast, and setting Grond up to get clowned in his own circus.”
“By using me,” I accused.
“Mhm,” Adora nodded, completely unashamed.
“What do you have against this Grond, guy?” I asked.
“He thinks he has earned a place among us gods!” Adora stamped her foot. “He thinks just because he was able to grind his way up to Divine Scale from Heroic, we should be impressed with him. The stupid man has been a god for less than twenty years. Plus, he knows nothing of the politics of divinity.”
“Don’t forget, he is a new kid and therefore smells,” I added. The pettiness of her reasoning concerned me. I believed Adora’s boasts of being one of the most powerful players alive. She was both high level and Divine Scale after all. Learning she spent her time shipping real people and excluding new Divine Scale players made me worry about what other gods were like.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
“He does smell,” Adora wrinkled her nose at the idea. Seeing the look on my face she continued, “You’re different. You were born at Titanic Scale. Us old gods know to play nice. Grond is a dumbass and will try and hunt you if he figures out you are a titan spawn. Since no one has killed one of you. The achievement, plus the First bonus, plus the spectacle would likely be enough to make someone like me or Zack level.” She met my gaze for a moment, and in that moment I saw that under the flirty persona was someone truly ruthless, “But I won’t let that happen. Apotheosis is a trap. The Titan must stand alone, forever.”
That was super dramatic, too bad for me some lack of, apparently basic, knowledge undercut the effect. “What is apotheosis?”
Adora smiled as she contained a demure laugh. “Oh Sweet Moose, you really are new. Apotheosis is elevation of Scale. Most players can try at level fifty. It will bounce them back down to level 1 but one level of Scale higher. Technically they can try at level 100 as well, to drop to level 50, but I have never heard of anyone managing that trick. Divine players need to reach level 100, then they could rise to the realm of the titan.”
“What happens if a Titan Spawn hits level one hundred?” I asked, curious in spite of myself.
“No one knows,” Adora admitted. She paced in front of me dramatically, “The likely contender would be Nadia. I don’t know exactly what their level is but odds are good it is in the high nineties. Short answer is, nothing good. They are called All-Death for a reason. No way them gaining power would help anyone.”
“We are already Titanic though…” I pondered aloud.
“I am guessing they will become a second full Titan. That would likely start some sort of Titan war.” Adora did look a little apprehensive about that. “Good thing Nadia just sits on the West Coast slaughtering anything that gets too close.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because Nadia is the least happy person alive. God failed to kill them in the night, and they will make that the world's problem,” Adora said, looking strangely tired and also possibly projecting.
This was getting unhelpful, “So what do I get?”
Adora raised an eyebrow.
“If I clear these dungeons, what do I get? Are you just going to set me up with another lever for you to pull?” I continued.
“If you want, my friendly cave bear, I could yank your lever,” she grinned at me. She lightly ran a finger across my chest as her smile grew mischievous.
Mental Resist was quickly putting in the work. I found myself appreciating that almost as much as regeneration as I stared flatly at Adora.
The grin slid off her face, “What do you want?”
“You to stop messing with Angelica and Celeste and drop the forced shipping,” I explained as calmly as I could.
Adora shrugged, “No worries, I can set you and Brand up. Have it be one of those ‘at first you hate each other, then you fuck each other’ sort of deals.”
“Not what I meant. I want you to stop messing with their and my love lives. Also, take away any achievements and conditions.” I clarified.
Adora rolled her eyes, “No can do there. That would be breaking character and, honestly, you are stuck with the effects of the Awkward Virgin achievement until you do something with someone. That is a hard system rule.”
“Breaking character?’ I asked incredulously.
“Gods like me develop purviews and aspects. I am a goddess of love, desire, and fertility. To work against that is to undermine my own powers and risk allowing another god to take the aspect from me and gain more power. I can’t have that.” Adora watched me for a moment to see if I actually understood what she was saying.
“So you don’t actually want to meddle in my love life?” If she was stuck playing a role, well, I would still be wary of her. That said I can empathize with the specific pressures Narrators seem to apply.
Adora paused briefly, “I didn’t say that. I am good at what I do. I like helping people. Most just need a little push. You’ll come around with time.”
I weighed my options. Yeah, I had to do it. “Adora, I do not consent to having you interfere in my relationships. Please stop. Your busybody efforts are not appreciated.”
I felt the temperature of the room drop as her gaze grew cold, “Oh.” Her voice had a lot of ominous implications.
I considered apologizing. Then I considered everything she had done. Nope, to hell with that. Still, I wasn't going to antagonize her beyond what was necessary.
Turns out Adora is the type to treat non-capitulation as a form of attack. “You would think, someone like you would be more grateful after all I’ve done for you.”
When I spoke, I was surprised to hear my voice completely calm, “Adora, you drugged Angelica and me. I agree with Celeste. That was cruel.”
“Don’t blame me if you don’t like who you were without a filter,” Adora deflected. “And of course you agree with the angel,” she all but exclaimed, sounding exasperated. “She has you wrapped around her not-so-divine little finger. Given your nature, I am not surprised she was able to misrepresent my efforts.”
Oh it is actually everyone else’s fault that she drugged us, and me not likely the abuse is actually a character flaw… fun times.
“Is that honestly how you see things?” I asked. Like Adora had to for me in our last encounter, I suspected I would have to adjust my expectations for her.
Adora was momentarily at a loss for words. I think she was surprised that whatever passive mind effects she had weren’t working at all. Finally she just changed the subject, “Let’s focus on the important bit. Grond is going to be distracted for at least the next eight hours. A lot of opportunities there.” She winked.
Mental Resistance may be able to push back any systematic effect that could alter my behavior, but that wink conveys a whole cavalcade of images and ideas. “This has to do with the bet you and Aella have,” I stated. Because it wasn’t a question.
She just smiled purposely not answering because she didn’t have to.
No real point talking to her anymore. “I will go do something right now, but one of these times though we are going to talk while I am wearing pants.”
Adora scoffed, “Unlikely, my dear gentle mastodon. I’m like Wonder Woman, I know when I am needed.” And then she was gone and the lights clicked back on.
Brand came back to life and realized I was several paces from where I had been. He stepped closer, his act slipping, “What happened…”
I grabbed him by the back of the neck and used the Lug skill to haul him back toward the shower. Covering my eyes I barged in. As the door closed I said, “Angelica we need to talk.”
Angelica’s response came from near the sink rather than the shower, thankfully she sounded confused rather than angry, “Doug, what exactly are you doing?”
“Can I open my eyes?”
“Uh, yeah.” Angelica answered, sounding even more confused now.
I opened my eyes to find Angelica standing by the sink one foot on the closed toilet seat painting her toenails. Blue, if you must know. She was also fully clothed.
“Adora just showed up. She told me Grond is going to be busy for the next eight hours or so. I think she wants us to bang, but let's make a run at the last miniboss and the final boss.” I was talking fast. I was terrified that vocalizing the idea would mean that someone would stonewall us. It wasn’t just gods we had to worry about. My hope was that the audience would keep outside forces from rewriting anything now since, based on Wilson’s asides, they were probably watching us closely.
Angelica was at roughly 85% her max HP, but she clipped from existence and reappeared in her gear, “I’m in.”
“Are you good?” I asked, looking to Brand,
He was also fully equipped by the time I finished turning. He tossed two white tablets into his mouth. “Don’t worry about me, you are the one not dressed.”
I equipped my armor and the Juggernaut’s Bangle. It was odd feeling my body strengthen.
The trip to the third miniboss was both surprisingly quick and ultra-violent. The White Shadows had respawned, and the Megaleo also made an appearance. While this one was without armor it was still huge. The shed did not work against it. That said, Angelica literally tore it in half. Fuck snow lions in general and that one in particular.
We were pushing ourselves a bit too fast. That caused a few things to get sloppy. Luckily that mostly meant that I got swarmed. Which, while extremely painful, was also easy to physically recover from. Brand and Angelica did take some stray hits, though.
All said and done we found ourselves in front of the final miniboss door. I was regenerating back to full and would be there in about ten seconds. Angelica health had dipped to about 75%. Brand was maybe a little lower on the percentage points but that meant he was a lot lower on the total hit points.
The doors again were two massive wooden edifices. On one side were the carvings of the three warriors. On the other was a picture of fangs and claws. Over top of all of that was the looming figure, which I assumed to be Grond.
My health topped out as I took a swig of Titanic Brew. “Let’s do this”