Trial and error was the name of the game. We didn’t start with the Vitae of Tumult. The concern was that once we used it, things wouldn’t slow down. We also quickly realized a downside to blocking large portions of the tunnel with a barricade. You see, when that happens a large portion of the tunnel is blocked with a barricade. This obscured Brand’s line of fire and prevented Angelica from using her AOE charge.
The first time we tried it resulted in a hyper-violent, high-stakes game of whack-a-lion, but with so much cursing. There was also a less than gallant moment when we tried to unclog the tunnel only to find more lions trying to get at us. None of us shrieked in naked terror. Those were battle cries. That is how we all agreed history would remember it.
Anyways, we won that fight eventually.
The second major clash went much better. I planted the Barricade. Brand made liberal use of his rifle and killed any Lion trying to climb over the obstruction. This caused the corpses to wedge between the top of the barricade and the ceiling. The impromptu setup allowed roughly one killer kitty at a time to come at us from the side of the barricade. I would backpedal and pummel any lone beast trying to murder me. This would produce a conga line of cats for Angelica to slaughter. There was a slight hiccup when yet more cats poured around the barricade to attack her. Luckily, Angelica is a badass, Brand’s shotgun could drive the cats back, and once I inserted myself into the situation, the engagement played out on our terms.
It was the third encounter where we figured out the method to sweep and clear a hallway. I would drop a barrier. Brand would seal the top. We would all back up while chipping away at the horde. I would then drop the second barrier, repeat and drop the third barrier. Once the line was drawn out Angelica would Charge, then Charge and Charge again. Between spear wounds and thunder and lightning related injuries most of the lions were killed outright. Brand and I would sprint after her and mop up any stragglers.
Trouble was that was when we hit a big open room with lots of points of ingress. We just sort of stood in the entryway surveying the ‘empty’ room. “It looks clear.” I said, hesitating to enter.
“Agreed,” Brand said. After a brief pause he continued. “Head out there and prove it.”
“Why do I have to do it?” I asked, stalling for time. Sure this run was way less damaging then previous runs, but that wasn’t to say I missed the tender affection of the cats. Oddly, procrastinating wasn’t helping.
“Because Miss De Leon is a lady, and I am delicate,” Brand explained in that sincere way British people have when they are being profoundly sarcastic.
“Seriously?” Angelica demanded incredulously. She cocked an eyebrow clearly debating whether to be confused, annoyed, or angry.
“I admit to making assumptions with you,” Brand snarked, “But I am quite honestly delicate, at least when compared to you lot.”
“The sass is because I tried to stab you, isn’t it?” Angelica asked. She also had that hint of annoyance people exude when they have no viable comeback.
“That and I am stalling for time to let Doug rally. The poor man is clearly terrified,” Brand nodded to me. “I felt it my duty to cover for him, in his moment of infirmity.”
“Is it really covering for me, if you point it out?” I continued stalling.
Brand appeared to think deeply about that, “I don’t suppose it would be. We will just have to allow for small improprieties in these trying times. Besides, you are the type to wear the truth like armor. Vulnerability in strength, and strength in vulnerability.”
“You got any other platitudes for me?”
Brand rubbed his chin, “Keep calm and carry on.”
I sighed and pulled the Vitae out of my inventory, “I think I should use this. Get a short ways in, put my back to a wall and use the barricades to turtle.”
“Get in position, and then use the Vitae,” Angelica instructed, counting the tasks on her fingers.
I stepped into the room expecting to be swarmed. Thankfully, that didn’t happen. Yeah, I had to pulp four cats that appeared out of the snow, but not a full swarm. I got to the wall and placed two of the barricades in a wedge shape. Each had one side against the wall of the cave. There was a gap about a foot wide between the two edges. I placed the third on top so I was enclosed.
My heart was pounding in my chest. This had all the hallmarks of a bad idea… but I was going to do it anyway. I pulled the bucket out of my inventory. Dipping two fingers into the mixture, I collected a dollop of the Vitae of Tumult. It had a consistency almost like whipped cream, which was all kinds of upsetting. I took a deep breath and then smeared it across my chest.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. The dollop exploded in a deluge of sticky, crimson, slightly warm, weirdly scentless gore. If I had jumped into a tub of blood and sat in it for hours, I wouldn’t be as thoroughly wetted in blood. Regretting my recent life choices I tossed the bucket into my inventory.
You are now Gore Soaked
You are causing the Blood Frenzy condition.
…They are coming!
The next few minutes passed in complete anarchy. I lucked out, though. As the horde of lions swelled, some ended up on the roof. Their weight -and my extreme desire to not be eaten- allowed me to keep the lid on things as frenzied felines piled up and pressed on the underside of the roof. I fell into a rhythm of blocking the two to three cats that could reach in at a time, and then kicking them to death, while I dangled from the handle on my makeshift roof.
After one almost disastrous lift of the ceiling, I pulled one of the remaining larger rocks out of my inventory. Its added mass was enough to slam the lid shut. I would like to say this was cool in any way, but the accurate description of this was a goon hanging from the ceiling by one hand, awkwardly swinging out of the reach of attacks, while flailing his legs frantically. Another unforeseen concern was the concentration of corpses. The crush of the snow lions’ efforts to get to me was pulping the bodies, like organ-filled lemons in a juicer. Unfortunately, I had selected a relative low spot and this meant the blood was pooling. The tide was rising.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
That was when the White Shadow arrived. It crashed into my enclosure and my shed shuddered, bowed slightly, but held firm. The cat was also throwing four attacks a second at me. Again, my efforts to block it were fruitless. It must be able to roll higher than I could even with Scale advantage. Then again, it did have a lot of levels on me. I did the only thing I could think of: I swung out of its reach when it tried to maul me, and punted it in the head on the backswing. This still resulted in it hitting me about once a second, but that was manageable.
It was also profoundly painful. For an unfortunate few seconds it managed to get its claws stuck in my flesh. This resulted in a deeply unpleasant game of tug-o-war. The worst part of this was where it had caught me. I won’t go into specific details, but my shrieking increased in pitch as it tried to pull me closer.
Eventually things… pulled free. Regeneration is truly, truly wonderful. Without that pillar of my existence I would have had to come to terms with whatever condition that inflicted on me, possibly for my entire life. Instead, forty seconds of ignoring it caused it to clear from my prompts.
Anyways, we soon went back to good old fashioned, wholesome violence.
That is when Brand’s shotgun blew a hole in the side of the White Shadow torso. I caught a glimpse of Angelica cleaving through yet more of the lions. The mobs ignored them to try and get to me. Holy shit, it was working. Sure, this was a near fuster cluck, but it was working.
Another minute and we had it. The White Shadow was dead. The trash mobs were dead. Brand and Angelica were at well above ninety-five percent. Most of that damage was from the incident unclogging the hallway. When we made all those battlecries. Brave, non-embarrassing battlecries. Also my dick had healed. Job well done.
Mistakes were made during the tear down. I pulled the roof piece into my inventory and was showered in dead lions. I had to dig my way out. This was complicated due to looting also being an endeavor. The bodies were not in the best condition. Distinguishing between one body and the other was also not as obvious as I would like.
“You good, Doug?” Angelica called.
“Yeah, I am just stuck under bodies,” I shouted back, muffled by the unreasonable weight of deceased cats over top of me.
“I believe in you,” She called back.
I got my head above the… water line and noticed that neither of them were moving to assist. “Are either of you going to help me?” I spluttered. You know how people will say they don’t want help? Something about valuing their independence. That absolutely was not me at this moment. Save me. I want to feel safe.
“You're fine,” Angelica called back. “And I don’t want to touch you. You’re gross!”
I put a gore soaked hand on one of the bodies on top. The white fur did not stain white from my touch. Yeah, I was covered in the Vitae, but it had a kind of film around it. That apparently kept me Gore Soaked. What if I wanted to smear the blood onto a ‘fresh’ body? A surge of blood later and the corpse was coated in a thin layer of candied viscera. I pulled that corpse into my inventory and sure enough, it was an Uncommon Scale snow lion corpse (Gore soaked(Vitae of Tumult)) that required further exploration later.
I still had to deal with the problem of being tits deep in snow lion bodies. “The condition only spreads if I actively try to pass it on.” I shouted over.
I heard Brand and Angelica discuss that quietly for a moment. “Cool story, Bro!” She called back, “We are going to keep watch for any… stragglers while you extract yourself.”
If they were going to be like that, I was going to take a moment and refine the process. We were going to have at least another big room like this on the way to the miniboss. After looting enough bodies to have solid footing, I pulled the barricades back into my inventory.
This allowed a wave of blood and guts to cascade out. I then quickly set the three barricades back down in a triangle, with the narrow gap at one corner. Crafting quickly, I managed to make an actual roof for my shed of great justice. This hooked into place and couldn’t be lifted or pressed in without bending the whole structure. I also rigged a harness that would let me lift the spiked stakes.
Lug Check… Successful!
Moving at a phenomenally slow pace the whole thing shifted a few feet. When I set it down the stakes bit into the ice and it seemed sturdy. I tossed all the pieces into my inventory and finished looting the bodies. Sadly, the White Shadow had no gear to loot.
“No loot from the White Shadow?” I asked.
“It doesn’t count as a miniboss if it isn’t spawned in the miniboss room,” Angelica explained while toeing the line of the circle of gore.
The next hallway was actually slightly easier. The lions seemed to spawn after we crossed set points. So while they were hyper focused on killing me, their numbers never spiked into impossible ranges. Plus once we got the rhythm down, Brand and Angelica could chew through the mobs at a somewhat frightening pace.
The second large room wasn’t as bad as the first. Having a fixed roof and lugging the shed into position on a high spot turned what had been a touch and go battle into a killing field. All said and done I only took 53 points of damage in the second big room. I hardly even felt the sting. A big part of that was probably due to no White Shadow turning up.
Two more hallways and a third big room later we found ourselves in front of the entrance to the second Miniboss. It was composed of two tremendous wooden doors. One was carved to depict three people that did have a striking resemblance to our group. On the other was the head of a lion snarling ferociously. The top of the doors showed some malignant shadowy figure gazing down at us. The details were all highlighted with some technicolor metal. It gave the door this strange, otherworldly vibe.
We stood there gazing at it for a moment. Brand was reloading his shotgun. Angelica tilted her head causing her neck to audibly pop. I took a step toward the door.
[Flag] Delete Message
All processes halted!
Retcon begins in
5…4…3…2…1…
That was… bad.
Angelica saw the look on my face, “What happened?”
[Flag] Delete Message
All processes halted!
Retcon begins in
5…4…3…2…1…
The highlights of the door had changed from technicolor to gold.
“I don’t know,” I said, looking around for any other differences, “but I got a bad feeling all of a sudden.”
“Is that… reliable?” Brand asked.
“In this case, yes,” I confirmed. Why would there be two retcons? Were the narrators fighting again?
“Not to sound petulant but our only options are to either open the door or go back to the safe room,” Angelica said looking between Brand and me, “I say we go for it.”
“I agree with Miss De Leon,” Brand said with a nod.
“Might as well,” I sighed, “It’s going to be rough no matter what.” I took a step toward the door. That was when the second White Shadow ambushed me