Elmer Stephens is a freelance photographer who enjoys taking photos around his neighborhood, especially of subjects he had no business photographing. I like the park. Plenty of subjects to capture with my lens, Elmer thought.

“What are you doing?” a woman nearby asked. “You may not take pictures of the children.”

“I’m in a public place and can take photos of whomever I please,” Elmer said.

Elmer resumed his photo-taking. He aimed his camera at two kids interacting innocently with each other. Perfect for my client! He was about to take the shot when the view through his lens blanked out.

“Hey, what the hell,” he yelled as the woman grabbed his camera. “Get your hands off my personal property at once!”

Something about the expression in Elmer’s eye seemed to spook her. She surrendered the camera. Elmer inspected the camera for damage.

The bitch smudged the lens.

“Why are you taking pictures, anyway?” the woman asked.

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

“Well . . . I’m a photographer who makes his living by taking stock photos. Many businesses pay handsomely for photos of kids, adults, and animals depicted in a variety of settings. I take photos here because it saves me the cost of hiring models.”

“Well, it’s just creepy. I don’t think the parents of these kids would appreciate what you’re doing.”

A large, burly guard interrupted the exchange between Elmer and the woman.

“Is there a problem over here?” the guard said.

Elmer stole a glance at the guard’s badge. From his physical appearance, he appeared to be apprehending more donuts than bad guys. Elmer noticed some grime on the guard’s badge—Probably from a donut, Elmer thought—but he could still make out his name.

“No, Officer Johnson,” Elmer said.

“Yes, there is a problem,” the woman said. “This man is taking pictures of the children.”

“As I told the lady, I work as a freelance photographer and take pictures of people for my livelihood. You ever hear of stock photos? She doesn’t have any right to stop me or touch my equipment,” Elmer demanded.

Officer Johnson considered this predicament for a long moment.

“He’s right, ma’am,” he finally replied. “He has the legal right to take pictures of anyone in public.”

“Thanks for protecting my constitutional rights, officer,” Elmer said.

Elmer gave the woman a contentious smile and winked. The woman withdrew from the area, saying something unintelligible as she left.

Following the altercation, Elmer thought it would be wise to move to another area—perhaps the wharf. Lots of pretties there, for sure, Elmer thought.