Drek went silent, listening to the sea. Colb looked around at the waters. For a little while, things were peaceful and quiet. Colb felt calmed by the subtle wishwash of the sea. Then, as Stibs was putting the finishing touches on his seagullfishing pole, Drek suddenly fired into the water. “Hurmph, there goes your one arrow,” Stibs muttered slyly.
After a moment, with a swish and a splash, the arrow flew back out of the water from where it came, with three seagullfish skewered to it. With lightning-fast reflexes, Drek caught the arrow out of the air, and slid the three seagullfish onto the floor of the boat. “Rrghegh… you were saying?” he said with a grin. Annoyed, Stibs cast his line, and the battle was on.
While Stibs seagullfished and Drek hunted, Colb started cupping some peppersalt seawater with his hands, then rubbing it into the wounded seagullfish on the floor of the boat. “What are you up to?” 27 inquired.
“Hmmm, I’m pushing more peppersalt into the seagullfish, yes?” Colb replied. “If we treat their insides with peppersalt, their meat will last us a long time.”
“AaAaaaaahhhh, look at you with your fancy chef tricks! Allow me to help,” 27 offered with a smile.
For the next hour, while the two goblins continued to catch seagullfish, Colb taught 27 how to boil the seawater with a cup and torch to extract more concentrated peppersalt, then use that peppersalt to treat the seagullfish into long-lasting rations. By the end of the hour, the team had accrued many days’ worth of rations from 34 seagullfish: 28 of which Drek caught, and 6 of which Stibs caught.
“Rhe rhe rhe,” Drek snickered, “I think there is clear winner.” Stibs turned red in the face.
“AaAaaaaahhhh, do not feel bad, Stibs. It was unfair. He was using a Yiklar-made item, which is an incredibly high-quality tool, so of course he won,” 27 said.
“Hurmph! My craftsmanship is just as good!” Stibs yelled, standing up. “You must’ve cheated!”
“Rhe rhe rhe,” Drek snickered again, “just accept your loss, old goblin.”
“Hurmph, at least I’m not a weak little child!” Stibs jeered back.
“Rrghegh… weak, eh? How about you and me elbow wrestle, right here, right now?”
Stibs froze, then smiled widely. “Hurmph! Let’s.”
27 let out a sigh as the two goblins bickered. “Quality team takes time,” be muttered to himself, rubbing peppersalt over a set of rations. Colb frowned at the display, let out a sigh of his own, and went back to preparing the seagullfish as well.
While Colb and 27 worked, Stibs and Drek met at the middle of the boat. They each put one fist to their neck, extending an elbow, then approached each other until their elbows touched.
“Rrghegh… first to get pushed into the water is weaker goblin,” Drek said.
“Hurmph! I know how to play the game,” Stibs replied coolly.
“Go!” Drek yelled, and the two pushed their elbows into each other. With a swift motion, Stibs easily overpowered the young goblin, and sent him tumbling off the boat. Drek dropped his hands, grabbing onto the edge of the canoe as he nearly fell into the sea. He swiftly redirected his momentum, flopping back onto the boat instead of into the water. An audible crack could be heard under him as he hit the floor of the wooden vessel.
“Rrghegh… you got lucky,” Drek said, standing up. “Rrghegh… why are my feet wet?”
“Hurmph! Sounds like your legs must’ve hit the water. That means you were pushed overboard. You lose!” Stibs announced.
“No, no, I mean…” Drek replied, looking down. The other three goblins followed his gaze to a crack in the boat, right at the spot Drek had flopped onto, which was rapidly pulling water into the vessel.
All four of them widened their eyes in a panic. “We’re sinking!” Drek yelped, rushing to a higher point on the boat. Water continued to flow in from the crack. Stibs ripped a rag off his clothes, and shoved it into the opening. This slowed, but did not stop, the onslaught of water. “Medic!” Drek shouted. “Heal the boat!”
“Hmmm, but medic is only for healing living creatures, yes?” Colb questioned.
“Rrghegh – just come up with something! We’re gonna die!” Drek cried.
“Hmmm…” Colb thought for a moment. “If you spill water in the kitchen, you need a rag to soak it up,” he pitched.
“Hurmph, I already did that,” Stibs retorted.
“Oh…” Colb said, “...hmmm, right. How about we make another crack near the first crack? So, the water enters from the first crack, then leaks back out of the second crack?”
The four goblins looked at each other. “That could work,” Drek agreed. 27 shrugged.
“Hurmph! Are you guys joking?” Stibs yelped, water now covering his toes. “That doesn’t make any sense at all!”
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“Rrghegh, you’re outvoted 3-to-1,” Drek announced, “and it makes sense to me.” The young goblin kneeled at another spot on the bottom of the boat, pulled out his dagger, held it high in the sky, and crashed it down, stabbing a fresh crack into another part of the boat. Immediately, more water started flowing in from the second crack. “Wha-this just made it worse!” Drek cried.
“Hmmm, maybe the water comes in from the second crack, and flows out from the original one now, yes?” Colb theorized.
Stibs pulled his rag out of the first crack, and more water started flowing in. “Hurmph! What a surprise! That didn’t work either,” he jeered.
As the water level began to rise at an accelerated pace, the goblins shivered with panic. “Stop adding more water to the boat!” Drek cried out as a bead of sweat dripped off Colb’s nose and landed in the canoe.
Meanwhile, 27 scanned the horizon with his eyes. “AaAaaaaahhhh, look! We’re saved,” 27 announced, pointing out a large dwarven trade ship in the distance.
“Rrghegh… there’s no way they’ll see our small boat from out there,” Drek worried. “We’re doomed.”
“Hurmph, we just need a flare! Something to get their attention! I’ve got my tinderbox from home, as well as some flintcoal from 949. Does anyone have gunpowder?” Stibs shouted as he rummaged through his backpack.
The goblins all looked at 27. “AaAaaaaahhhh, yes, I do believe I can sell us a gunpowder horn for 2,210 goldatinum pieces, 8 electronze pieces, and 8 silvopper pieces.”
“What?! That’s so expensive!” Drek cried out.
“It is a rare gunpowder horn with special magical properties, yes it is,” 27 shouted back.
“Make it cheaper!” Drek yelled.
“I can’t! This gunpowder horn is normally 5,065 goldatinum pieces, 9 electronze pieces, and 4 silvopper pieces. It’s already on special offer today; to stack a second custom offer on top of the current special offer is not the Yiklar way!”
“WE’RE GOING TO DIE!” Drek yelled.
“Well, what money do we all have?!” 27 shouted back.
The team pooled their money, careful not to drop their metallic nuggets into the water – which was steadily creeping up their legs. Between Drek and Stibs, they had 18 goldatinum pieces, 4 electronze pieces, and 9 silvopper pieces. Colb, having left all his money back in Skaal with Vrel, could only offer his wooden shield into the mix.
“Hmmm, I bought that for 10 goldatinum pieces, yes?” Colb pitched.
“The Yiklar Bag of Traveling Inventory only accepts direct money,” 27 responded.
“Hurmph! Either way, we’re short by a lot,” Stibs worried.
The water was up to their knees now, and the boat was alarmingly close to falling completely underwater. “Where’s your contribution, rich goblin?!” Stibs shouted. “Can’t you pull some coins out of that magic bag?”
“AaAaaaaahhhh, yes I can, but I need to be purchasing a good in order to do so,” 27 replied.
“WE ARE PURCHASING A GOOD!” Drek shouted, starting to freak out as the water approached his knees.
“No, I cannot buy from myself, that makes no sense! The bag will only summon goldatinum when I am making a deal with another seller,” 27 replied.
“Oh! Idea! Colb!” 27 pointed at Colb. “Sell me those seagullfish rations we just prepared! I love to purchase your fine meals!”
Colb held out the pile of seagullfish rations, offering them to 27. “AaAaaaaahhhh, wow, what spectacular deal! You say these are only…” 27 counted on his fingers, muttering as if doing some math in his head, “...2,192 goldatinum pieces, 3 electronze pieces, and 9 silvopper pieces? What an excellent offer!”
Colb frowned. “Hmmm, that’s more than my tavern makes in a whole year. I’ll admit, this is a lot of food, but your offer is simply far too much, yes?”
“JUST ACCEPT IT!” Stibs and Drek yelled in unison. Colb reactively gave the pile of rations to 27, who shoved them under his arm as he summoned a fat pile goldatinum, electronze, and silvopper nuggets from his bag in response. 27 carefully poured the money in Colb’s hands, and Drek and Stibs placed their money into the chef’s arms as well.
“Now,” 27 continued, the water starting to come in over the edges of the boat as they sank further. “AaAaaaaahhhh, customer! You say you wish to purchase our special offer of the Yiklar Gunpowder Horn of Coralwhale Summoning? It’s normally 5,065 goldatinum pieces, 9 electronze pieces, and 4 silvopper pieces, but it’s on special offer today for only 2,210 goldatinum pieces, 8 electronze pieces, and 8 silvopper pieces!”
Colb inched forward, and 27 held open his red sack. Tilting his arms slightly, Colb poured the entire pile of nuggets into the bag. They appeared to vanish as soon as they touched the inside of the Yiklar Bag of Traveling Inventory.
While Colb dumped funds into the sack, Stibs pulled out his tinderbox and preemptively lit a chunk of flintcoal with it. He held the ignited rock high, which ensured no splashes from the rising water might extinguish it.
“AaAaaaaahhhh, wonderful decision,” 27 cheered as Colb finished pouring in the pile of currency. The noble goblin held his hand over the bag as a fine gunpowder horn with a blue wave painted on it flew out, landing in his grip. “Thank you for your purchase,” he continued, frantically handing it to Colb. “Now, we just need to take a little bit of gunpowder out, and…” but before 27 could finish his sentence, Stibs grabbed the horn out of Colb’s hands, dropped his ignited piece of flintcoal into it, and threw the whole thing into the sky.
“WHAT! Stibs, didn’t you hear what I said it was?!” 27 shouted.
“Hurmph! It’s a flare to get that dwarven ship’s attention,” Stibs replied.
“It’s not just a flare!” 27 cried out. “It’s a Yiklar Gunpowder Horn of Coralwhale Summoning! It’s going to get the attention of a lot more than just that ship if you use the whole thing at once!”
With a small pop, the gunpowder horn exploded in the sky, and pink glitter rained down on the goblins. Almost immediately, the water below started to tremble, and a screeching whalesong rang up from the depths of the sea. “Oh man, that thing swims fast,” 27 said, sweating.
“Hmmm, what thing?” Colb asked with concern.
“A coralwhale,” the noble goblin whimpered.
As the sea itself continued to shake, the goblins could only watch as a huge, spiky pink beast with massive fins launched out of the water nearby. The beast majestically flew through the air for a few moments, then on the way back down, created an explosion on the surface of the peppersalt seawater as it hit. A wave of water rose from this explosion like a wall, twenty times higher than the walls of Yiklar, and exuded in all directions from the coralwhale’s landing site.
“Hmmm, I don’t think we’re going to be connecting with that dwarven ship in the distance anytime soon, yes?” Colb muttered, the reflection of the incoming wave glinting off his beady red eyes.
“That ship is going to be who-knows-where in a few moments. And so are we,” 27 replied meekly.
“Cover your heads!” Stibs yelled as their boat started to shift from the ripples of the incoming tsunami. The four goblins all crouched down, clutching onto the wood of the boat for dear life, as the massive wave engulfed them. The coralwhale continued to screech a terrible song, and Colb experienced a sensation of being lifted into the air. Moving so rapidly and with so many sounds around him, Colb felt himself passing out, and everything went dark.