“Shhh!” Drek shushed, suddenly.

Colb instinctively put his hands over his mouth, alarmed by the abruptness of Drek’s response. After a moment, Colb hesitantly whispered, “…Why?”

“Rrghegh… I said to be quiet,” Drek replied. “I’m listening for prey. We can’t exactly see the prey since we stopped after the sun went down, can we?”

“Hmmm, I suppose not, yes?” Colb muttered.

After the duo walked in a straight line away from the campsite for a few minutes, Drek put out the torch. “Hmmm, now it is very dark, yes?” Colb questioned.

“Rrghegh… it is as if you’ve never had to fend for yourself,” Drek grumbled back. “There is prey nearby, and we do not want them to know our position. Rrghegh… stay here.”

Colb froze in place, and listened carefully to his pitch back surroundings. He could barely hear the light footsteps of Drek, tip-toeing a few feet away from him. After a moment, there was a quick swoosh of a cloak, followed by some screeching high up in the air. An instant later, Colb heard an audible THUMP! in the sand nearby.

“Rrghegh… food acquired,” Drek announced, re-igniting his torch. Colb craned his neck to look at the ground behind his young teammate, searching for the source of the THUMP! he’d heard a moment ago. Sure enough, he soon spotted two spiderbats sitting in a blood-stained patch of sand, skewered simultaneously by a single dagger. Their eight legs, some of which had wings attached, curled inwards towards their fluffy brown bodies as they succumbed to their mortal wounds.

“Rrghegh… I threw knife into sky, and got double kill,” Drek proudly boasted. “This will feed team for night.”

“Hmmm, let’s go back, and I’ll cook these, then, yes?” Colb cheered. Drek picked up his dagger, with the two bodies still attached, and agreed. With Drek’s torch light guiding their way, the duo returned to the camp.

However, there wasn’t exactly a camp waiting for them when they arrived. What they found was 27 and the two pigeonhorses, standing before a fine mapleoak log cabin. The flat building stood 4 ½ feet tall, and covered about a 12 ft by 12 ft square of ground – more than enough space for a team of four stout goblins. It sported an intricately carved door, a triangle-shaped log roof, and four bright windows, each about 2 feet up from the ground. “Hmmm! Where did this come from?” Colb inquired.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, are you impressed?” 27 cheered. “This right here is a highest-of-quality, Yiklar-made product for luxury in camping! It is a Yiklar Folding Cabin, yes it is! Most portable, and most nice. Please, enter! Stibs is already inside.” 27 twisted a finely carved doorknob, then opened the entrance to a large, carpeted room, with music playing inside.

Confused but intrigued, Colb stepped into the cabin. The other goblins walked in as well, and 27 shut the door behind them from the inside. Drek strolled through the interior of the building, dumped the spiderbat bodies into the kitchen, and then fell asleep face-down in a nearby beanbag chair.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, Colb, by the look on your face I’d say this is your first time in a Yiklar Folding Cabin. Perhaps I shall give you the tour?”

“Hmmm, I suppose you should, yes?” Colb replied, his eyes full of wonder.

27 led Colb around the cabin, which seemed to be a party space that could easily fit 30 goblins. Although the desert night had no sunlight to shed through the cabin’s windows, nevertheless the whole building – with not a torch or flame in sight – was magically lit. “The cabin has sort of open-concept, yes it does,” 27 announced, gesturing to the wide, wall-free space. “Although cabin’s interior is effectively one room, it’s split into five sections, yes it is: a room in each of the four corners, and my favorite room in the center.”

27 led Colb to the middle of the cabin, which sported a wooden dance floor. A bright disco ball hung from the ceiling of the space, and seemed to be emanating a light-hearted goblin tune played with traditional crunchy, squeaky goblin instruments. “Here in the center of the Yiklar Folding Cabin, we have the dance floor!” 27 cheered.

27 then gestured to some couches and a table sitting in a corner of the cabin, left of the entrance. “Now, in this corner, we have the living area, which is where we sit when we feel like being alive, yes we do,” 27 continued.

“Hurmph, that’s right! I’m not dead yet!” Stibs cheered as he relaxed on a living area couch.

“We also have a sleeping corner, a dining corner, and – AaAaaaaahhhh, you will like this – here in this last corner is the fully functional kitchen,” 27 said with a smile, turning Colb to face one of the far corners of the cabin. Colb gaped at the advanced setup. A functioning sink, fine mapleoak cutting boards, actual plates – this cabin’s kitchen was ten times better than his tavern back home.

Colb walked into the cooking area, placing his hand on the cool birchpine countertops. “Hmmm, this is very nice, yes?” Colb mumbled.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, indeed, that is because it is Yiklar-made! That is why it’s of such highest-of-quality! Each item is built with the finest of Yiklar craftsmanship,” 27 proclaimed, breaking out into a little dance as he spoke. “Quality defeats quantity! That is the Yikar way, after all!”

“Hmmm, how did you bring all of this here?” Colb asked.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, you are asking about details of cabin! Are you interested in purchasing a fine Yiklar Folding Cabin of your own?” 27 inquired, still dancing. “It’s only 5,160 goldatinum pieces, 4 electronze pieces, and 7 silvopper pieces!”

“Hmmm! That’s extremely expensive. But no, I’m wondering how you brought this stuff with us,” Colb replied. “This cabin, and everything in it, it all seems too heavy and too big to carry, yes?”

“AaAaaaaahhhh, that is not problem, because of Yiklar-made magic enchantment on cabin,” 27 responded, tapping his feet and swinging his arms.

“It is just part of my purchase of Yiklar Folding Cabin, yes it is! With the push of a button, I can compress entire cabin and everything in it down to small piece of wood that fits in my pocket. It is a marvel of goblin engineering, yes it is!” 27 cheered.

As he spoke, he walked backwards – continuing his dance – towards the center of the room. By the time 27 had finished his thought, he was standing on the dance floor, and his movements had tripled in intensity. “If you want to buy a Yiklar Folding Cabin for yourself, let me know, Colb!”

“Hmmm, it seems a little expensive for me, but I’ll let you know if I change my mind, yes?” Colb replied. He then pulled a crumpled chef’s hat out of his pocket, donned it, and began preparing Drek’s spiderbats into a nice meal for the team.

10 minutes later, Colb plated the boiled meat and carried it to the dining area. Drek’s ears perked up at the sound of food being placed on a table, and scampered from his bean bag chair to grab something to eat. The other goblins came to the table as well.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, I have missed your cooking over the last week, Colb! This is most exquisitely prepared!” 27 said as he munched on a spiderbat wing.

“Hmmm, I found some exciting spices and minerals in the kitchen, which elevated the meal, yes?” the chef replied.

“Yes!” 27 agreed.

“Hurmph, food is food,” Stibs replied. Drek said nothing other than a few grunting noises as he chowed down on a spiderbat foot.

“Well, team, tonight we feast, and we rest! For tomorrow, the true quest will begin, yes it will,” 27 announced to the table.

The goblins went on to finish up their meal, then settled down for the night. Drek paced around the interior of the cabin a few times, then retired to the same bean bag chair he’d been in earlier. Colb cleaned up the kitchen, then picked out a cot in the bedding area to fall asleep in. Stibs went outside to feed some breadcrumbs to the pigeonhorses and tie them up for the night, then came back in and slept on the floor with a blanket. 27 spent his time getting comfortable on some sort of hovering pad next to Colb’s cot.

“Hmmm, why’s your bed doing that?” Colb muttered as he sat down on his cot.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, this is a Yiklar Floating Bed. It feels like you’re sleeping on a cloud, yes it does!” 27 cheered. The noble goblin clapped his hands thrice, to which the room’s magical lighting and disco ball shut off in response.

“You certainly have a lot of magical objects,” Colb observed as he stared blankly into the darkened room.

“I like Yiklar-made things!” 27 cheered.

“Seems so!” Colb agreed.

After a few moments, Stibs let out a loud snore. Drek kicked a little bit in his beanbag chair, and seemed to be quietly drifting off as well.

Colb rolled over to face roughly where he remembered 27 to be in the dark room. “Hmmm… 27?” he whispered.

“Yes?” 27 muttered back.

“I’m a little concerned that this team isn’t going to be very… competent, yes? Nobody really spoke during dinner, and the two other goblins you found seem to dislike each other,” Colb worried.

“It is just first day, give them time,” 27 whispered. “Quality team takes time to develop, yes it does. Just because it starts like rough piece of wood, does not mean it can’t blossom into high-quality Yiklar Folding Cabin eventually!”

“Hmmm, okay…” Colb muttered. “…good night, yes?”

“Good night, Colb,” 27 replied. With that, the goblins succumbed to sleep for the night.

As the sun poked over the horizon the next day, Colb awoke to a harsh “Coo! Coo! Coo!” of two pigeonhorses screeching outside at the morning light.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, it’s the beginning of a wonderful day, yes it is!” 27 proclaimed, jumping off his hovering bed. The moment the wealthy goblin’s feet hit the ground, the cabin’s lights and disco ball turned on, and 27 began to dance. “MMmMmmmm, are we ready to get moving?”

“Rrghegh…” Drek mumbled in reply, not getting up from the bean bag chair.

“MMmMmmmm, you know, I’ve been meaning to say, that is quite peculiar noise you make, Drek, and you make it often,” 27 responded. “I am not sure how your throat even creates such sound, no I am not.”

“Rrghegh… is Ratter dialect. To put fear in enemy’s hearts,” Drek grumbled, still face-down on the bean bag chair.

“MMmMmmmm, but perhaps you would yield even more fear if you were early riser as well, yes you would,” 27 retorted.

“Hurmph! That’s right!” Stibs announced in a crackly voice, entering the cabin from the outside. “I’ve been up for three solid hours now. I’ve packed the supplies, sharpened my sword, prepared the pigeonhorses for departure while they slept – I even had time to catch our next meal!” The wrinkled goblin proceeded to slam a bag of dead toadroaches onto the kitchen counter. “Hurmph, and look at you,” he continued, walking towards Drek. “Who’s unprepared for a fight now, hurmph?! I could’ve slit your throat before you even woke uUAUP-” Stibs failed to finish his sentence, as a rope suddenly cinched around his leg, and pulled him towards the top of the cabin. The eyepatched goblin was left wriggling upside down. “What in the-” Stibs continued, outraged, as gravity pulled his bone sword out of his sheath and towards the floor.

“...rhe rhe rhe rhe rhe,” Drek snickered, finally sitting up in the bean bag chair. “Rrghegh… one does not sleep soundly without setting a few traps first. You know… in case someone thought they could slit my throat in my sleep, or something.”

“Hurmph! Get me down from here! Don’t touch that!” Stibs shouted, as Drek sauntered over and picked the bone sword up off the ground.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, okay, remember guys, teammates. Teammates. We’re all on same team, yes we are,” 27 said, gesturing for Drek to put down the sword.

While the argument continued amongst the three goblins, Colb got off his bed, and dusted off his armor. He looked into a mirror on the wall of the sleeping area, and prepared himself for the day. A quality team takes time, he thought to himself, as the bickering escalated behind him. That’s what 27 said. Just give them time, yes?

A little while later, when the goblins had gotten themselves situated and Stibs had re-claimed his bone sword, the four teammates agreed to ride their pigeonhorses in the same formation as the previous day: 27 with Stibs, and Drek with Colb.

As the goblin crew began mounting their steeds, 27 clicked a hidden button under the doorknob of his Yiklar Folding Cabin. With a vacuum-like sound, the entire building suddenly folded in on itself, rapidly compressing towards 27’s hands. After a handful of seconds, the entire cabin was gone, and only the doorknob remained in 27’s grasp.

“Cabin secured!” 27 cheered, pocketing the doorknob and jumping onto his steed with Stibs.

“Hmmm, off to Yiklar for the briefing then, yes?” Colb shouted back.

“Off we go!” 27 agreed.

“Coo, COO!” Drek and 27 shouted in unison. With a sudden jolt, the pigeonhorses began their sprint, and the crew was headed south.