14. VITRA'S LAB

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As the crew set sail northwards aboard their new pirate ship, Drek returned from below deck with a small but substantial treasure chest. “Ayerrghegh, aye found some plunder in the captain’s quarters,” Drek announced in his best attempt at a scratchy pirate voice. The goblin proudly dropped his chest on the ground near the rest of the crew, making a loud THUMP! as it hit the wooden deck.

“Rrghegh, and there’s no more pirates below deck,” Drek added. “The ship is ours, and this plunder is mine! It’ll be the perfect start to my fortune as king of Ratter.”

“Royalty is a dumb concept…” Kashmir muttered in Elvish. “Being rich doesn’t make you a good leader…”

Drek rubbed his hands together with excitement, unable to hear or understand what the elf said. “Rrghegh, time to crack this open,” he cheered. The young goblin reached for his belt, only to draw nothing. “...Oh yeah. I left knife in pirate kneecap,” he remembered.

Kashmir rolled her eyes, and walked up to the chest. “Here,” she said, flicking the lock with her bare finger. The metal lock made a sharp sizzling sound as a thin layer of frost began to form over it. She flicked it a second time, and it shattered as if made of glass.

“Rrghegh… that’s more like it,” Drek cheered. The young goblin quickly swiped away a few frigid bits of lock that were still in the way, then flipped the chest open.

The moonlight illuminated the contents of the chest like a spotlight to a stage. The crew of five looked with awe at the small fortune before them. Around a thousand goldatinum and iridhodium coins were scattered within the chest, with some reddish-blue rubiamonds and bluish-green sappheralds sprinkled into the pile as well.

“Hmmm, that’s a lot of money, yes?” Colb exclaimed.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, that is more than even I currently have, yes it is,” 27 noted. “These coins are interesting, too, yes they are. Quite different from the silvopper standard that we’ve seen elsewhere in the Human Empire.”

Colb squinted at the coins in the moonlight. They were similar in shape and size to the basic silvopper coins from Cantia, but had a bearded pirate etched into them instead of that stern-looking Empress Cognemi woman.

“Rrghegh… that’s how you know it’s criminally-acquired wealth,” Drek said with a grin. “You think Ratter goblins keep our currency in carefully portioned nuggets like the other tribes? Sure, sometimes – but we also trade in raw ore, and jewelry, and polished gemstones. A criminal takes whatever they can get their hands on, and doesn’t follow the rules. Silvopper must’ve been too cheap for these guys, so they invented their own, better currency. Rrghegh, these pirates aren’t so bad – it’s almost a shame we had to fight them off and steal all their stuff. Almost.”

Colb winced at the reminder of what this crew had done. Hmmm, stealing? Fighting? Killing? he thought. We’re not being a very good influence on Kashmir…

“MMmMmmmm, now that you mention it, I am not sure how I feel about this stealing of ships and coins,” 27 worried.

“Rrghegh… don’t worry about it,” Drek countered. “I’ll keep this treasure, and we’ll say Stibs owns this ship since he’s captain. Your hands are clean.”

“MMmMmmmm… alright,” 27 muttered. The noble suddenly let out a little yawn, triggering Kashmir to yawn as well. “It’s the middle of the night, yes it is. Let’s travel tiny bit further – to get a safe distance from the pirates on the merchant ship, so we’ll be long gone if they change their mind about leaving us alone – then drop anchor and go back to sleeping?”

Everyone agreed, exhausted from the midnight scuffle. The team sailed north for about an hour, then dropped anchor and turned in for the night. While the four goblins got comfortable in the Yiklar Folding Cabin, Kashmir elected to sleep out on the deck, underneath the stars.

The next morning, as the sun peeked over the horizon, the party of five divided into three groups. Kashmir sat on the main deck with Drek, watching him count the plunder in his treasure chest. 27 and Stibs sat at the ship’s helm, plotting their course to a human town on Jaiphione’s Crescent called Claus, and preparing the ship to set sail. Colb went off on his own, exploring the pirate’s quarters below deck.

The base of the ship was split up into a series of rooms. Most were bedrooms, containing nothing more than useless human clothes and cushioned beds. The finest of the bedchambers, which must have been the captain’s quarters, had been ransacked by Drek the previous night. Colb looked around briefly, then left, assuming Drek had already found anything of value.

Eventually, Colb came across a room with no beds, instead containing a full dining set. He climbed onto a tall wooden chair, then peeked his head over to see what he could find on the table. He discovered it to be covered in plastic chips, along with a set of dice carved out of bone. A couple of goldatinum coins were scattered amongst the chips, which Colb took and pocketed for later.

In another room, he found barrels and barrels of dried meat and stale daisywheat bread. He picked through them, eventually pulling out five strips of preserved salmonsnake meat and bringing them up to the main deck.

“Whadja find?” Kashmir called out to him as he climbed out of the lower deck. Colb held up the long bodies of meat he’d found. “Interesting,” she called back.

Colb sauntered back into the cabin, then prepared a meal in the kitchen. He stuffed some leftover bugs into the long salmonsnake bodies, then boiled them as if preparing his famous stuffed chickengoose neck recipe – making sure to leave one salmonsnake bug-free for the picky elf. When he was done, he patrolled around the boat, giving a stuffed salmonsnake to each member of the party.

27 was the most delighted to receive one, slurping it up in a swift motion and smacking his lips with joy. Stibs and Drek accepted the meals as well, but chewed them slowly while focused on their tasks at hand. Kashmir took hers with a mitten-covered hand, biting off pieces and crunching on them as she watched Drek organize his various precious gems. Colb sat on the ground next to her, silently chewing his meal as he, too, observed the young goblin.

A few minutes later, 27 regrouped with the others. “AaAaaaaahhhh, sailors! Are we ready to leave?” the noble asked. Everyone nodded, which made 27 start dancing with joy. “AaAaaaaahhhh, wonderful!” he exclaimed. “Once you’ve finished your meals, meet with Stibs at the steering wheel, and we’ll get this ship on the move!” The goblin clapped his hands with delight, then shimmied away.

Once they finished eating, everyone regrouped around Stibs. The old goblin divvied out some jobs, from pulling up the anchor to tying ropes and hoisting sails. Working together to complete these tasks, the crew found themselves on the move in no time. With the Yiklar Map of Finding Location as his guide, Stibs steered the ship in the direction of Claus: a human town at the nearest shore of Jaiphione’s Crescent.

As they got close to the port, their foreboding, blacked-painted pirate ship seemed to alarm nearby human sailors. Seagullfishermen and other trading ships parted frantically to make way for the dangerous-looking vessel. At one point, Colb heard a Hewmish voice shout, “Flee for your lives! It’s the Quartzelian Pirates!”

“MMmMmmmm, I think the skull and crossbones painted over our sails gives a bad first impression, yes it does,” 27 observed.

“They’d better run,” Kashmir mumbled, rubbing her palms together. “They don’t belong on this island.”

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“Hmmm, now hold on there, yes?” Colb said, rushing to the elf’s side. “We should never attack someone, unless our lives are in danger and we have no other choice, yes? Remember the plan: let’s try talking to the humans. Help them understand why this island is so important to you, yes?”

Kashmir rolled her eyes. “Fine… but make sure your shield’s ready to catch me if there’s no better way to make them go away for good…”

With a soft THUMP! the pirate ship bumped into the human-made port. Drek lowered the ship’s anchor, which almost immediately hit the ground upon splashing into the shallow waters. Stibs pushed an old wooden ramp over the edge of the ship, connecting it to the dock. Using the ramp, the team of five disembarked.

“AaAaaaaahhhh, another small human village!” 27 cheered, looking around at the bismuthslate brick and birchpine wood buildings. “I don’t see any guards, or scary pirates, no I do not. This seems like most nice place to make quick pit stop before we sail off to Wealth Mountain, yes it does.”

The group sauntered through the deserted port, taking in their surroundings. It seemed like a dulled down version of Sesui, with a population smaller than any human town they’d seen so far.

As the crew took a few steps into the village of Claus, Kashmir’s pointed ears suddenly perked up. “I see a human!” she exclaimed, lifting her hands.

“Hmmm! No no no,” Colb cried out, jumping in front of Kashmir and holding his shield as high as he could to block the tall elf. “These humans are just living their lives, yes? We don’t know if they’re a danger to us, yes? Some humans can be nice, and might stop hurting animals if you just explain your feelings to them, yes?”

“AaAaaaaahhhh, humans can be most excellent customers, too!” 27 added.

“Some humans scammed you with a pile of worthless rocks, and fired a crossbow bolt into my shoulder,” Kashmir grumbled. The elf narrowed her eyes at Colb, but lowered her palms in obedience with his plea.

Colb stole a glance backwards, to see what Kashmir had noticed in the first place. What he saw was a human woman staring back at him. She looked intrigued by Kashmir and the goblins. Colb looked back at Kashmir, then lowered his shield. “Hmmm, she doesn’t look dangerous, yes? Let’s try talking to her, yes? 27 can speak Hewmish.”

Colb stepped back in line with the rest of his crew, and 27 took a step forwards. The five travelers cautiously looked over the human before them.

Standing about half a foot taller than Kashmir, the woman towered over the goblin crew. She sported puffy green hair and wore a pair of matching green spectacles over her light face. From her chest downwards, she was covered in white-painted plate armor with a shimmering, purple hue. A small winter foxferret stood on her shoulders, wrapping its long, fluffy white body around the human’s neck like a scarf. She held a small yellow duffle bag in her hands, and looked completely fascinated by Kashmir.

“Well don’t let him stop you,” she said in fluent Elvish. “What were you going to do with your hands just then?”

“MMmMmmmm, do… do you speak Hewmish?” 27 asked.

“Of course, I do,” the woman replied, switching to the language of humans. “I was just speaking in Elvish, because I was addressing the elf.”

“Hmmm, can you speak Goblish?” Colb asked. He looked at the Yiklar Amulet of Open Ears around Kashmir’s neck. “All five of us will understand you if you speak in Goblish, yes?”

“Ah, then Goblish I will speak, yes I will!” the woman cheered, switching to the language of goblins.

“Stop showing off and tell us who you are,” Kashmir spat.

“Hm, it’s an exchange of information that you want?” the human muttered. “Well, show me what your powers are, and I’ll tell you who I am.”

“Why?” Kashmir asked.

“Humf, because I’ve never seen a purple elf before!” the spectacled woman exclaimed. “Most of your people don’t come around Claus often, but your innate magic is most fascinating to me, yes it is.”

Kashmir huffed at the human. “You want to see what I can do, huh?”

“Hmmm, Kashmir, don’t hurt her, yes?” Colb warned.

Ignoring Colb, Kashmir opened her palms and pointed them at the human. The elf took a quick breath, then rapidly closed her eyes, looked away, snapped her head back towards the woman, and opened her eyes again.

This quick succession of movement activated her power for only a brief moment: allowing Kashmir to hold her ground without Colb’s assistance, while sucking some air into her palms and launching a pebble of clear liquid at the human. The projectile harmlessly splashed against the woman’s armor, then dissolved into mist.

“Ah, wow!” the green-haired lady cheered. She pulled out a notepad, flipped to a fresh page, and began jotting some thoughts down. “Hm, now that was cool, if you’ll pardon the pun. So cool! You can make liquid nitrogen, yea?” she exclaimed.

The crew of five looked at her, a little confused by the human’s excitability. “Argh, wait. It was a bit too opaque to be just nitrogen,” the woman continued. “Hm, I noticed some white specks in it. That could’ve been dry ice, considering it burst into mist at the end. The bluish tint might’ve been oxygen…” She snapped her fingers. “Ah, I suppose you just froze the air, didn’t you? You made a little ball of frozen air, and threw it at me! Excellent,” she cheered, jotting down some more notes.

“Hmmm, are… are you hurt?” Colb asked.

“Me? I’m fine. Lucky me, my armor’s impervious to things like that,” the woman replied. “Hm, although in this particular case, the contact was so brief and my body temperature is so much higher than the boiling point of liquid air, that an insulating vapor layer would’ve kept me safe either way.” Colb furrowed his brow, confused by the woman’s scientific words.

As the green-haired human kept scribbling down some Hewmish symbols, the winter foxferret on her shoulder let out a soft sneeze, firing some snow out of its nose and onto Kashmir’s dress.

After a moment, the odd lady suddenly flipped her notepad shut, and looked over the goblins. Then, making eye contact with Kashmir, she finally introduced herself. “My name is Rachel Miranda Vitra. Hm, but most people just call me Vitra, yes they do. I’m an alchemist, working on some restorative projects here in Claus with my associate, Borin Aluvin Swornhammer.”

Kashmir gave the woman an inquisitive look. She reached out her hand, and quickly poked the human’s armor with a bare finger. In response, Vitra’s chestplate lit up for a moment, creating a protective purple field around her entire body. The winter foxferret on her shoulder yipped in friendly retaliation.

“Ah, your cold powers won’t hurt me with this armor on, no they will not,” the woman repeated. She pulled a small vial of water out from her duffle bag, then tapped it against her chestplate. The water within the vial immediately froze solid.

“My armor’s enchanted to freeze anything it touches, yes it is, as well as to protect me from anything dangerously cold,” Vitra explained. “It’s a very useful tool for potion-making.”

Kashmir frowned at the human. “Where’d you get that armor? Did a goblin sell it to you?” The elf glared at 27, who gave her a baffled look in return.

“Wha-Why are you mad at me? She may speak Goblish, but you’re still speaking Elvish. I-I don’t know what you just said, no I do not,” 27 cried defensively.

“Ah, she asked if a goblin sold me this armor, yes she did,” Vitra translated. “Humf, and the answer is no. We made this armor ourselves,” the woman explained. “Borin’s a blacksmith. He crafted the armor, and then I enchanted it with a potion made from some of Bitty’s fur sheddings.” She pat the winter foxferret on her shoulder, who sneezed out some more snow in response to the attention.

“Now that you mention it, word travels pretty fast in the Human Empire, and I did hear some goblin was selling magic items to nobles in Cantia, yes I did!” Vitra exclaimed. “Quite an unusual story. I heard it happened just the other day. Was that one of you guys?”

27 nodded, reaching for his red Yiklar Bag of Traveling Inventory. Kashmir put an arm out, gesturing for him to stop. “Why are you here?” the elf muttered, narrowing her eyes. “You really think I’d believe a human understands magic well enough to enchant armor like that? And what kind of experiment are you doing? Are you hurting the endangered creatures on this island?”

“Oh no, I’m helping them, yes I am!” Vitra replied.

“Maybe you think you are, but humans need to get off this island,” Kashmir grumbled.

“Hmmm, let’s hear her out, yes?” Colb pitched. “Vitra has done nothing to harm us, and her armor seemed to surprise you, yes? Maybe she can surprise you again?”

Colb felt a warm, hopeful feeling in his gut. Hmmm, this human seems a bit strange, but friendly, he thought to himself. She seems to like elves – a rare trait for humans, from what I’ve seen so far – and she claims to be helping the animals that Kashmir cares about. Maybe Vitra is the key to teaching Kashmir a little empathy for her enemies, yes?

“Hmmm, could you show us how you’re helping the endangered creatures of this island?” Colb asked.

“Hm, I suppose I can!” the woman cheered. “What scientist doesn’t love talking about their work? Follow me.” The woman turned, gesturing for the crew to trail her through a nearby patch of clovergrass. 27, Drek, and Stibs all shrugged and went along with it. Kashmir gave Colb a dirty look, but he replied with an encouraging smile. Kashmir sighed, rolled her eyes, and followed the others. She kept her palms close to her chest as she walked, as if ready to attack with her air-freezing power at a moment’s notice.

“We’re actually fairly close to my lab, yes we are,” Vitra announced as they followed behind her. Bitty, the small winter foxferret on her neck, audibly purred when she said the word ‘lab.’

The group eventually came upon a circular building made entirely out of silvopper – quite unlike the other buildings of Claus, which were made of black bismuthslate bricks and light birchpine wood. “Hm! Don’t touch the walls once you’re inside, yea?” Vitra warned as the group approached the odd building’s entrance. “They’ve been enchanted just like the outside of my armor… so, they’ll give you frostbite if you touch them, yea? Bitty and the purple elf can do whatever, though.”

The green-haired woman walked up to a vault-like door, which was attached to some sort of complex locking mechanism. Vita flipped a handle down and to the right in an awkward L motion, twisted a couple cogs around, then pushed a button. She tugged on the door, which let out a soft click! before creaking open.