“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, yes, you have most strong sense of sight, yes you do!” 1 praised. “That is another thing 67 foresaw, yes it is. She tells me there is perhaps some danger near Wealth Mountain. We have no idea what the nature of it is, no we do not. All we know is that she could hear some horrible, deep howl coming from that area when she held the Yiklar Telescope of Prophesy up to her ear. Her best guess was that some large beast lives in that frigid mountain range, which may pose a problem for you when extracting the goldatinum from Wealth Mountain.”
Colb sat back in his seat, befuddled by 1’s calmness as he explained that.
“Rrghegh… so how do we get by this giant beast?” Drek grumbled. “I want to get to the goldatinum.”
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, that is the spirit, yes it is!” 1 cheered.
“Hurmph! Let’s just kill it!” Stibs threw in. “Easy solution.”
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, that is indeed the plan, if it is necessary,” 1 replied.
“Hmmm… if we don’t know anything about the nature of this monster, how can we feel confident we’ll be able to kill it?” Colb inquired.
“MmMmMmMmMmmmm, this is good point,” 1 agreed. “I do not want to send you into an unwinnable situation. This is why, I have idea to ensure you cannot be overwhelmed by any single monster, yes I do.”
Drek’s ears perked up. “Rrghegh… do you have some kind of super armor for us?” he asked.
“That is close guess,” 1 praised, “but I was thinking of something more on the offensive. Our most excellent architectgoblin, 84, has invented a theoretical Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death in collaboration with some dwarves in Bellra.” 1 gestured to the map again, this time pointing out a dwarven town west of Yiklar, which sat just beyond a sizeable body of water and a mountain-ridden patch of land.
“The Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death started out as simple research idea from 84, but after some tactical diplomacy and ingenuity, it’s looking like it will become a reality within the next week,” 1 continued. “84 requested I find someone to test out his superweapon, and I think that is good coincidence since your mission may be dangerous and require something powerful to give you an edge. If you all go to Bellra to pick up this spear – which I’ve already paid for – before heading to Wealth Mountain, you can use it as you see fit.”
“Hurmph… how does it work? What exactly makes you say this Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death is a superweapon?” Stibs inquired.
“The idea is,” 1 replied, “no method, magical or not, can prevent or reverse the death of a creature that has been struck by the Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death. This way, no matter how powerful some monster might be – if it can heal itself, or it’s really tough, or it can raise itself from the dead – no matter what powers or magic it has, nothing will make a difference. You will be able to permanently kill any monster with one single strike! The spear will only be possible to use once, though, so make it count if you do end up throwing it at something.”
“Hmmm, how are you making such a weapon?” Colb inquired.
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, that is trade secret of Yiklar, yes it is. Just know the spear will be of the highest quality, and is unfortunately very expensive to make, so we only can offer you one,” 1 replied.
“However, the Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death is not the only investment I’m making into your mission today.” Colb noticed 27’s eyes widened at the mention of investment. “I have prepared a free, high-quality, Yiklar-produced item for each of you, yes I have, to aid you on your quest to Wealth Mountain!”
Drek leaned forward immediately. “Rrghegh… free stuff, you say?”
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, yes, that is what I said!” 1 replied with a cheer. “First, this map, it is for you, Stibs.”
“Hurmph! A map? I can just make my own maps!” Stibs grumbled, rejecting the gift.
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, but this is not ordinary map, no it is not!” 1 replied. “It is a magical Yiklar Map of Finding Location! To activate it, you just hold it and say: whereami?”
“Where am I?” Stibs repeated.
“No no no, it is one word: whereami. Say that whenever you’re lost, and the map will magically find your position!” 1 cheered.
Stibs shrugged. “Hurmph, alright. If you say it’s magic, I suppose I’ll hold onto it.” The old goblin folded up the parchment and stashed it in his backpack.
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, most good! And you,” 1 turned to Colb. “For you, I have an item which will aid in your understanding of the creatures around you, yes it will.” The goblin pulled out another handful of coins, poured it all into his red sack, then pulled out an amulet with a white crystal on it. He placed the item around Colb’s neck. “With this Yiklar Amulet of Open Ears, you can understand the spoken language of humans, dwarves, and elves. Although it will not teach you their language, and so you cannot easily reply to them, this at least gives the team a set of ears which understands what’s happening while you’re in foreign territories.”
Colb placed a hand on the pure crystal, and moved it around in his fingers. “AaAaaaaahhhh, I remember taking a class about humans as an extracurricular at Yiklar University,” 27 cheered. “During which, I learned their native language: Hewmish! Fascinating way to speak, yes it is.”
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, perfect, then the two of you can work together to communicate with humans during your journey,” 1 replied. “And when you pass through dwarf territory, or if you run into some elves, Colb will understand what they are saying as well!”
“Hmmm, thank you for the gift, yes?” Colb replied.
“Of course! It is an investment to ensure the success of this team,” 1 replied. “Speaking of, my next item is for you, goblin of the Ratter tribe.” 1 poured some more coins into his red sack, then pulled out a wooden hunting bow and a single arrow with a flowing, silvery color.
“Free stuff, free stuff!” Drek chanted with excitement.
“MmMmMmMmMmmmm, yes, this is for you,” 1 continued. “A rare Yiklar Bow of Returning Arrow. This bow comes with a single iridhodium arrow, which is an extremely rare and expensive metal. We’ve enchanted this single piece of ammunition such that it will always return to you after you fire it, yes it will.”
“Rhe, like boomerang?” Drek questioned.
“AaAaAaAaaAaAhhhhh, precisely – but with an absolute guarantee that it will always return!” 1 replied. Drek happily accepted the bow and arrow.
“Finally, for you, 27,” 1 continued, turning his gaze to the team’s noble. “Please present your sack.” 27 opened his cloak, clicked his green bag off his belt, and placed it on the table. 1 pushed it to the side, then placed the red sack at that spot on the table instead. 27’s eyes widened. “I am promoting your sack to the Yiklar Bag of Traveling Inventory. From anywhere in the world, you can now sell anything that is made by the Yiklar Factories, yes you can. Whenever you want to offer someone a good deal or special offer on an item, just drop the payment into this sack, and the product will be magically pulled straight from the Yiklar Factories into your bag.”
Tears welled up in 27’s eyes. “This… I am of such… high honored,” he replied, carefully picking up the red sack.
“While you are traveling across the world for the sake of Yiklar, I thought it was only right that you should be able to spread some of our fantastic deals along the way,” 1 cheered with a smile.
“Now, all of you. With your Yiklar Map of Finding Location, Yiklar Amulet of Open Ears, Yiklar Bow of Returning Arrow, and Yiklar Bag of Traveling Inventory, go! Go, and complete your quest! Pick up the Yiklar Spear of Irreversible Death from Bellra, then get that Wealth Mountain goldatinum for all the goblin tribes!”
“Yes, thank you!” 27 replied, crying. “We will not let you down!”
Colb cradled the white crystal hanging from his neck. It was kind of 1 to give him a gift like this. An amulet imbued with magic must not have been cheap. Hmmm. I’ll do my best not to let him down either, yes? Colb thought to himself. I don’t want to disappoint someone so generous.
He looked up at 1, who smiled as if he’d just read Colb’s mind. Hmmm. Perhaps that’s why he requested this meeting in the first place, Colb pondered. After all, 27 could’ve just briefed us, and given us these items. I suppose 1’s personal touch might’ve been a calculated move, to give an extra sense of importance to this mission, yes?
Colb glanced at the shield he'd purchased back in Skaal, from a blacksmithing goblin that seemed on the verge of going out-of-business. Hmmm, fair enough – this mission is important. I’m going to try to do everything I can to make sure we succeed. For the sake of my community in the Skaal tribe, yes?
With that, the goblin crew hopped out of their chairs. They then descended the stairs of the goldatinum-painted tower, their heads held high as they felt newly equipped and truly prepared to start their adventure.