23. WEALTH MOUNTAIN

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“TWENTY-SEVEN!!!” Kashmir cried out in horror as she watched a spear, which visibly radiated with death magic, skewer the noble goblin.

Grrrrrrggrrrrrrrroooooo! CRUNCH! BANG! THUMP! Shocked and alone, the purple elf suddenly found herself trapped within the cave system of Wealth Mountain.

“Hey!” Kashmir shouted, pounding against the icy blockade with her fists. “Let me out!”

With bits of snow covering her eyes, the elf frantically scanned her surroundings for options. After a moment, she opened her fists towards the blockade, closed her eyes, and opened her hands.

Go away! she thought, as a blast of liquified air shot from her fingers, knocking her to the ground.

Kashmir skid across the cave floor, eventually bumping into an icy stone wall. When she opened her eyes, the blockade was still there – perhaps a little stronger, even, as she’d imbued it with yet another layer of ice.

This isn’t fair! Kashmir thought to herself, standing back up. All four of them are going to die out there! I think one already did…

Kashmir sniffled, fiddling with her goggles to wipe some snowy tears away from her eyes. I won’t even be able to see where Colb lands if a tornado sucks him up… I promised I’d watch for him… she thought.

Kashmir sat down, looking at the floor in defeat. The icy cave made a slight crackling sound in response to her particularly cold body sitting upon it.

After a few moments of Kashmir sitting on the ground and feeling utterly alone, a mighty stomp shook Wealth Mountain from outside. The monster’s on the move… Kashmir thought to herself.

Another stomp emanated from outside, jiggling the cave system around her. She heard some CRUNCH! and SMASH! sounds as rocks broke free from the cave ceiling in response to the tremor.

Suddenly, a faint voice echoed from further down into Wealth Mountain. Kashmir’s necklace glowed as it fluently translated the words to Elvish.

“…#348. A ball of red yarn. The ball of yarn reacted strangely to the tincture, fraying immediately and turning yellow. Further testing…”

Kashmir’s pointed ears perked up, surprised to hear another voice in the cave with her. “…Hello?” she called out, standing up. “Colb?” She listened carefully for a response, cupping a hand to her ear.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

“…another update, Flufei has stolen the ball of yarn, and hidden it when I wasn’t looking. Fortunately, this version of the potion isn’t toxic, so she should be okay. However, I wasn’t done with my…”

“Hello?” Kashmir called out again, confused by the voice. It was definitely coming from deeper in the cave. “Who are you? Do you know a way out of here?”

Following the sound, Kashmir stepped deeper into Wealth Mountain’s interior. Although the cave pathways were pitch black, she could see the rocks and ice around her in great detail thanks to the Yiklar Goggles of Vision in Darkness and Harsh Conditions stuck to her face.

“…next up was experiment #349. A wooden toy train. The train reacted violently to the potion, immediately dissolving into a puddle of brown goo. I have no idea why…”

As Kashmir hustled deeper into the cave system, the voice got louder and louder. Suddenly, she tripped, falling to the ground and scraping her knee.

Ow! she thought, pulling up her dress to check on the wound. What did I just trip on?

When she looked back, a chunk of goldatinum shimmered in her magically-enhanced vision. She crawled over to it, picking it up. The object was shaped like a brick of marblelime, but felt as if it were made of solid goldatinum. That’s weird… she thought.

“…we have experiment #350. A stem of living daisywheat. As expected, this one seems to have worked. The plant instantly turned a sharp goldatinum color, and scratches at a level four. This is consistent with previous experiments on biological material…”

Kashmir’s ears perked up at the continuing sound, and she dropped the goldatinum brick. “Who are you?” the elf called out again. “I just watched someone die… I’m not in the mood for you to be all mysterious right now!”

Kashmir continued to march down the cave path, eventually reaching an open chamber that was filled with goldatinum. “Um… what? Hello?” Kashmir called out again.

Before her stood a chilling display of wealth. Thousands of life-sized, intricately carved goldatinum statues littered the space. From tall vinelike pewterorange archways to detailed spiderbats, each art piece looked more realistic than the last – and it all appeared to be carved from pure goldatinum.

Notably separate from the others, a goldatinum statue of a human stood alone at the center of the room. The statue had been placed next to an old, rotten, wooden desk. Kashmir approached the art piece, investigating its face. The statue depicted a woman with short-cropped hair. She had been carved with a look of horror in her eyes. Her teeth were grit, her stance was stiff, and she was holding a hollow potions bottle, which appeared to have a large crack in it.

Oddly enough, only the human part of the statue had been carved in goldatinum. Her clothing, glass potion bottle, and spectacles were all made of their normal respective materials – albeit the objects were rather old and tattered.

“…next up is experiment #351. A living spiderbat. I kind of feel bad about this, but I just sort of opened the cage and dumped the potion all over it. Immediately, the spiderbat turned solid goldatinum. I’ve already done extensive follow-up testing, and verified that everything – even its internal organs – are entirely solid goldatinum…”

Kashmir looked down, as the mysterious voice was now coming from her feet. Under the desk sat a small, rectangular device.

Kashmir donned her mittens, then reached down to pick it up. She clicked a button at the top of the rectangle, which made the voice suddenly stop talking.

Oh… she thought to herself. Nobody’s actually down here. The elf sighed, looking around at the detailed statues surrounding her. 27 would’ve loved this, she thought. All the goblins would love this… I hope they aren’t dead.

Kashmir kicked a piece of goldatinum on the ground, frustrated with her situation. This is stupid. Who put all this stuff down here? Why did we come all this way for it? I feel like I didn’t find my destiny, I didn’t find a winter foxferret, and I can’t even keep my new friends safe.