Novels2Search
Toad Town (Dungeon Core Parody)
39 — Sound the Chirps of War?

39 — Sound the Chirps of War?

Congratulations! For becoming an awe-inspiring Symbol of the greatness of Toads, you have gained the [Toad Idol] perk!

[Toad Idol] – All temples and churches within your demesne are turned towards Toaddom. All members of the Toadkin species now naturally revere you for being an exemplary of Toadness. Every humanoid that reveres you increases your maximum Essence Reservoir by 1 point.

“Did you just... become a false God…?” Imu deadpanned. “All by hopping around in that insane-looking toad automaton that I’m 97.89% sure is made of several dead minions…”

“I think System loves me, because I finally feel that I’m given the proper respect that I deserve, as a Paragon of Toadkind!”

“I highly doubt there’s any sort of rational or logical thought behind these achievements and unlockables. I mean, look at her… since you evolved that Toy Store Vendor, she has been running circles around town, while holding a toad plushie in the air…”

“The former Priest of Light in our church seems fine with the switch,” I argued.

“Once you’re a religious fanatic, it doesn’t really matter which absurd deity or non-deity you worship. I mean, have you seen how many Toakens he makes every day from just doing two-hour-long monologue rants about arbitrary things!? Yesterday, he spent his sermon talking about why bread was inferior to porridge…”

“I thought you said you were going to take a vacation,” I reminded him.

“Every time I look away for just two minutes, you’ve done something insane, so obviously that won’t be a possibility.”

“Well, as your Master—”

“You’re not my master… no matter how powerful you become, that’ll never happen! Ever!”

“As your Core,” I corrected myself, “I demand you take a week off from being my Guiding Fairy!”

“There’s no way that’s happening,” Imu replied confidently, but then—

Mandatory Guiding Fairy Quest: Take a break, Boi!

All Guiding Fairy abilities have been locked for the following seven days!

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

Preparing to transport ‘Boi’ and ‘Goldie’ to tropical vacation island #29!

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he groaned. “Of course the System would take your side on this. You’re both out of your minds.”

“See you in a week,” I said, and waved at him with one of my webbed front feet as he and Goldie began to fade from existence.

I took a moment to savour the silence that followed, then took a look at my new essence pond. Before unlocking Toad Idol, my Essence had been at sixty, but, now, it sat at one-hundred-and-seventy-three just from all Toadkin in my settlement automatically worshipping me.

Using my powerful toady legs, I leapt high into the air and then, at the apex of the jump I released a burst of essence that washed over every single one of my Houses, evolving them and increasing them all by one-storey. For some reason, those houses closer to the centre of my town became more distinguished and nice-looking, while those closer to the outer walls became grimy and rundown.

As though responding to this sudden change in my town, a bunch of idle minions paired up in two, threes, and fours, all running into the evolved Houses and doing their duty to increase my population.

A bit later, I was watching my second Barracks as it finished its construction. The first already had a new Aristocrat Commander and two dozen forcefully-conscripted Footmen. Near the second Barracks, which lay near the Armoury and Fletchery, a bunch of Aristocrats stood waiting, perhaps sensing a golden opportunity to finally become a Toadkin, as many of them had been evolved prior to my Superior Toad Genes perk being unlocked.

Hiding from the crowd of haughty minions was an Aristocrat I remembered as having been ousted for proposing breeding in the Gentlewhomen’s Club. I decided to pick him to become the new Commander of the Barracks and the seventy-five Footmen it could contain within its sleeping quarters.

As he skipped towards the entrance of the completed building, all the other Aristocrats followed him scornfully with their eyes, but, they were created of lazy and unproductive stock, so they were unlikely to do much except bicker and complain.

I sent a torrent of essence into the Barracks and golden light shone out the windows and from under the doors, making it seem as though a caged sun was held within the building. Then a poof of smoke blew the door open and covered the ground as the new Commander walked out with a stern look on his face. Like my first Commander, he wore a fancy suit of Frog Hide and a fancy beret with a goose feather poking out the back.

I quickly called my Slavers to action, and they began rounding up a bunch of idle and unassigned newborn minions that were then herded into the Barracks, until I had the seventy-five I required, then I sent them to put the rest inside the first Barracks.

Using my pinpoint evolution that I had fully mastered with becoming a Castle Town, I evolved all seventy-five minions at once, without any of them melting together to form a meatball of rubbery flesh and too-many arms.

Then I leapt across town and landed before the other Barracks where I did the same.

As all my Footmen finished evolving, I called upon them and their Commanders to march out the northern part of my town to prepare for my first attempt at making war on whomens. Additionally, I called upon my Cavalry Men and Archers to join them, leaving my Guards and Sharpshooters to keep my town secure, with the aid of my ruthless Slavers, Executioner, and Jailers.

I also had two newly-evolved Wizards join my army, though both were far weaker than Viola, who now ran the Wizard’s Buffet in the residential district of the northern quadrant.

Although Toadskandarr seemed more than interested in leading this army, I decided that I should be the one to do it, as, with the Castle Town evolution, it had finally been made possible for me to venture beyond my demesne, though Imu seemed to have implied there were many reasons why I absolutely shouldn’t do it, but he wasn’t here now, so I wilfully ignored his past warnings. After all, I was a Lord of Toads and an Idol worthy of worship.

What could go wrong?